Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(HelloGiggles)   "Junior, what are you doing in there?" - "Mom, leave me alone, I'm meditating"   (hellogiggles.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Sexual intercourse, Human sexuality, sex therapy, sex toy company, Fine's aunt, Dame Products, sexual wellness space feel, proper chair  
•       •       •

5130 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Apr 2021 at 12:35 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



63 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-04-18 6:28:49 PM  
A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.
 
2021-04-18 6:38:58 PM  

Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.


Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".
 
2021-04-18 9:12:16 PM  
Well, then, I must be a kung fu master something
 
2021-04-19 12:36:55 AM  
Go away. Meditatin'
 
2021-04-19 12:37:32 AM  

phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".


Not if they dont see you.
 
2021-04-19 12:40:15 AM  

Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.


Try masturbating on your cellphone while pumping gas.
 
2021-04-19 12:42:25 AM  
So... a lot of meditating going on here on Fark?
 
2021-04-19 12:44:28 AM  

vudukungfu: Well, then, I must be a kung fu master something


G.I. Joe With 'Kung Fu Grip' Commercial (1974)
Youtube DF50trbM6aQ
 
2021-04-19 12:45:27 AM  

Declassify Issue: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Try masturbating on your cellphone while pumping gas.


just make sure you have a bag of rice in your car when your done.
 
2021-04-19 12:47:22 AM  
Staying with a friend in Haight Ashbury back in the day. He's in the bathroom for too long, I gotta go. He says "You can't come in, I'm doing yoga."

/his place, his rules.
 
2021-04-19 12:47:26 AM  
I sit around and watch the tube
But nothing's on
I change the channels for an hour or two
Twiddle my thumbs just for a bit
I'm sick of all the same old shiat
In a house with unlocked doors and I'm farkin' lazy
 
2021-04-19 12:47:46 AM  

phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".


Well time to start pooping in my bathroom without windows.
 
2021-04-19 12:49:22 AM  
Carving out time for self-pleasure is one of many ways women can hold space to cultivate their life force."

WTF does that even mean? Can anyone translate that from Woo to English?

I guarantee that this woman thinks her anus is capable of photosynthesis.
 
2021-04-19 12:50:18 AM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-19 12:50:53 AM  

joaquin closet: Staying with a friend in Haight Ashbury back in the day. He's in the bathroom for too long, I gotta go. He says "You can't come in, I'm doing yoga."

/his place, his rules.


How big was that bathroom that it had enough floor space for yoga?
 
2021-04-19 12:51:07 AM  

phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".


Do you know this because someone jizzed over your dump-taking and you felt bothered, or because someone told you your flesh-slapping and poorly-muffled screaming was breaking their concentration?
 
2021-04-19 12:53:03 AM  

aagrajag: Carving out time for self-pleasure is one of many ways women can hold space to cultivate their life force."

WTF does that even mean? Can anyone translate that from Woo to English?


I think the Victorians would call it "curing their hysteria."
 
2021-04-19 12:53:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Better than any Sunday Service
 
2021-04-19 12:55:22 AM  
We can jerk off now about the girls that will never come,
But we think about them anyway 
And I wonder how it would feel to be with them now
but i'm just Jerking before work everyday
Masturbation, Masturbation
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me baitin'
 
2021-04-19 12:58:00 AM  

phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".


Are you shaming other people's fetishes? 🤔💩🤢😏😂🖤
 
2021-04-19 12:59:11 AM  

lindalouwho: vudukungfu: Well, then, I must be a kung fu master something

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/DF50trbM​6aQ]


I had an Uncle that looked like that guy. Scar and all.
Jealous as fark because my Cousin had a GI Joe Doll of his Dad, But Hey My Dad Wasn't in Prison.
 
2021-04-19 12:59:17 AM  

Declassify Issue: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Try masturbating on your cellphone while pumping gas.


Nnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
The bee's knees is yanking in the car while driving home, after leaving the strip club. At least that's what my friend swears by
 
2021-04-19 1:05:13 AM  
What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night?"


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-19 1:08:32 AM  
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THE BATHROOM DAY AND NIGHT?
Youtube AS1HIThPcz8
 
2021-04-19 1:08:51 AM  
Well.., well...
 
2021-04-19 1:11:47 AM  
The family that prays together, stays together.

Just sayin'.
 
2021-04-19 1:22:01 AM  
I think I heard somewhere, probably here, the jerking off twice a day keeps prostate cancer away. Or something.  Point is I have been erring on the side of caution, lo, these many years.
 
2021-04-19 1:35:32 AM  
MEDITATE FURIOUSLY

 
2021-04-19 1:36:22 AM  

Summoner101: phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".

Well time to start pooping in my bathroom without windows.


Why, do you meditate a lot?
 
2021-04-19 1:38:29 AM  

aagrajag: Carving out time for self-pleasure is one of many ways women can hold space to cultivate their life force."

WTF does that even mean? Can anyone translate that from Woo to English?

I guarantee that this woman thinks her anus is capable of photosynthesis.


'A dildo up your hole
Powers up your soul'
                  Abraham Lincoln
 
2021-04-19 1:43:31 AM  
It's amusing how society sees:

Positivity of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The eroticism of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The acceptance of:
Women using sex toys
Vs Men using sex toys

/just an observer
//PeterSellers.jpg
 
2021-04-19 1:48:47 AM  
My doctor told I need to stop masturbating. I asked him why. He told it is upsetting the other  people in the waiting room.
 
2021-04-19 1:52:16 AM  

aagrajag: Carving out time for self-pleasure is one of many ways women can hold space to cultivate their life force."

WTF does that even mean? Can anyone translate that from Woo to English?

I guarantee that this woman thinks her anus is capable of photosynthesis.


Sure:
When you have a decent amount of "me time"* you tend to have the energy and mental capacity to do other stuff.

/*not necessarily masturbation
//deals in Woo
///it makes sense when put in practical terms
 
2021-04-19 1:53:01 AM  
They should just make a new sex doll company. There are currently male and female sex dolls, full realistic anatomy, medical grade silicone, some made of tpe. If you don't want realistic human looking sex dolls, you can buy cartoon styled ones as well! There should be no shame when it comes to sexuality. Go bang whoever you wanna bang. From humans to androids to random anime characters, bang your sex out!
 
2021-04-19 1:53:05 AM  

Resident Muslim: It's amusing how society sees:

Positivity of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The eroticism of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The acceptance of:
Women using sex toys
Vs Men using sex toys

/just an observer
//PeterSellers.jpg


1) equal

2) duh

3) duh

Are these loaded questions?
 
2021-04-19 1:56:56 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-19 2:08:24 AM  
Meditation material thread?
 
2021-04-19 2:10:40 AM  

janzee: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/AS1HIThP​cz8?start=26]


and it's not even the only masturbation meditation joke in the movie


Transylvania Next
Youtube bk-UCbbWpFs


/auf Deutsch
 
2021-04-19 2:30:13 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


As a single guy who lives alone I like to have a couple of beers with Sunday lunch then smash on off and have an afternoon nap
 
2021-04-19 2:46:58 AM  

Resident Muslim: It's amusing how society sees:

Positivity of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The eroticism of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The acceptance of:
Women using sex toys
Vs Men using sex toys

/just an observer
//PeterSellers.jpg


Yeah, my friend likes lesbian porn too.
 
2021-04-19 2:49:43 AM  

GreenSun: They should just make a new sex doll company. There are currently male and female sex dolls, full realistic anatomy, medical grade silicone, some made of tpe. If you don't want realistic human looking sex dolls, you can buy cartoon styled ones as well! There should be no shame when it comes to sexuality. Go bang whoever you wanna bang. From humans to androids to random anime characters, bang your sex out!


Or just be a decent human being. Most people like sex with other humans for various reasons. If one can't find a human who wants to be intimate them, maybe they should adjust their life.
 
2021-04-19 2:57:06 AM  

phalamir: Harry Wagstaff: A woman that sells sex toys says we should masturbate more. I wonder how oil execs feel about how much we should be driving.

Okay, I don't sell sex toys.  And we need to masturbate more.  Yanking your crank / checking your oil is good for you, physically and emotionally.  As long as you are doing it without bothering anyone else, go for it.  Pro-tip: doing it outside someone's window while you watch them poop is "bothering".


oil execs love sex toys; they are mainly made of petroleum based products.

as for poop windows peeping, that is why the Good Lord invented camcorders. no need to stand in the brush with your Lee's around your ankles. pop in a new SD card and let the memories last a lifetime.
 
2021-04-19 3:12:42 AM  
My old dad caught me out back of the barn, 'batin.  So he advised me to get married to the young girl from the farm next door. So I did - but wouldn't ya know it, he comes round to the back of the barn later on and catches me at it again!!

"Son", he asked me, "What're yuh doing back here, now that you're all married 'n everthang?"
I had to answer truthfully, "Aww Pa, her little arm gets so tired!"
 
2021-04-19 4:20:06 AM  
Let me show you my om face
 
2021-04-19 4:40:16 AM  

powhound: Resident Muslim: It's amusing how society sees:

Positivity of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The eroticism of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The acceptance of:
Women using sex toys
Vs Men using sex toys

/just an observer
//PeterSellers.jpg

1) equal

2) duh

3) duh

Are these loaded questions?


Questions? No.
Loaded? Yes...because I didn't make any comment other than "amusing".
I left the rest up to the reader.

/;)
 
2021-04-19 4:43:14 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

I'll be in my meditation chamber..

/The US is FAR FAR too hysterical over body parts..
// Unless their being sprayed across the landscape by a weapon..
/// squirts
 
2021-04-19 4:43:19 AM  

valenumr: Resident Muslim: It's amusing how society sees:

Positivity of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The eroticism of:
Women masturbating
Vs Men masturbating

The acceptance of:
Women using sex toys
Vs Men using sex toys

/just an observer
//PeterSellers.jpg

Yeah, my friend likes lesbian porn too.


See comment above.
 
2021-04-19 4:47:40 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: [Fark user image 209x241]
I'll be in my meditation chamber..

/The US is FAR FAR too hysterical over body parts..
// Unless their being sprayed across the landscape by a weapon..
/// squirts


GAH...They're  FTFM
 
2021-04-19 5:16:16 AM  

aagrajag: Carving out time for self-pleasure is one of many ways women can hold space to cultivate their life force."

WTF does that even mean? Can anyone translate that from Woo to English?

I guarantee that this woman thinks her anus is capable of photosynthesis.


Sure - here ya go.  "Flicking the bean gives women so fun alone time so they don't lose their shiat dealing with all the stupid crap society throws at them 'cause they don't have dicks."

/it's just the woo edition of corporate bullshiat
//every niche has it's own argot
///why should this one be one bit different when corporations can talk about utilitizing the paradigm synergies with a straight farking face?
 
2021-04-19 6:27:23 AM  
Sounds like a musical show.

♫♫ I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me god.

In the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost. Amen.

Sodomy
Fellatio
Cunnilingus
Pederasty

Father, why do these words sound so nasty?

Masturbation
Can be fun
Join the holy orgy
Kama Sutra
Everyone!    ♫♫
 
Displayed 50 of 63 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.