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(Politico)   Federal prosecutors may actually have two cooperating witnesses against Matt Gaetz now. Enjoy your weekend, Matt   (politico.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, United States Congress, Hula hoop, Florida, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Matt Gaetz's former girlfriend, Hooping, Allegation, Florida State University  
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2698 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 Apr 2021 at 11:25 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



75 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-04-16 8:23:55 PM  
The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked
 
2021-04-16 8:37:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-16 8:39:38 PM  
Matt was relatively quiet this week.   Musta been busy.  Deep legal troubles will do that.

//muahahahahahahahahahaha
 
2021-04-16 8:55:50 PM  
Matt Gaetz's kink is naked kids hula hooping! Can we please shame THAT kink?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-16 8:56:26 PM  

Devolving_Spud: Matt was relatively quiet this week.   Musta been busy.  Deep legal troubles will do that.

//muahahahahahahahahahaha


He lawyered up didn't he? If so they probably told him to STFU and go sit in the corner.
 
2021-04-16 8:58:55 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-16 9:05:27 PM  
He is going to prime the legal abbitoir the rest of the grand old perverts are going to get run through
 
2021-04-16 9:13:39 PM  
If Florida is still a two party consent state, that's some serious guilt.
 
2021-04-16 9:26:19 PM  

OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked


What motivation would she have to testify? Would she want to protect her anonymity to the greatest extent possible or do they have her on illegal shiat when she became an adult?
 
2021-04-16 9:44:29 PM  

Purple_Urkle: Matt Gaetz's kink is naked kids hula hooping! Can we please shame THAT kink?
[Fark user image image 425x284]


Any kink involving kids can and should be shamed.
 
2021-04-16 10:15:59 PM  
Just a little pillow talk.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-16 10:24:43 PM  

stan unusual: Just a little pillow talk.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 330x153]


Fark user imageView Full Size


(Those aren't really Matt Gaetz's victims, top is a stock image, bottom is from a news article about teens and cellphone usage)

Gaetz has a pop socket on his phone.
My niece has one of those.
 
2021-04-16 11:15:32 PM  

mrshowrules: OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked

What motivation would she have to testify? Would she want to protect her anonymity to the greatest extent possible or do they have her on illegal shiat when she became an adult?


isn't the witness now working in porn?

testifying as a witness in a very public scandal would absolutely be a boom for her porn career.
 
2021-04-16 11:30:46 PM  
He ain't going anywhere.
 
2021-04-16 11:31:19 PM  
So, how far off from "God has forgiven me, why can't you?" are we?
 
2021-04-16 11:37:34 PM  

mrshowrules: OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked

What motivation would she have to testify? Would she want to protect her anonymity to the greatest extent possible or do they have her on illegal shiat when she became an adult?


Justice? Revenge? Public spirit? Protecting the innocent? I can think of several reasons off the top of my head.
 
2021-04-16 11:38:41 PM  
Are we awaiting the result of a UFC cage match to determine which federal prosecutor get first crack at charging Gaetz?
 
2021-04-16 11:39:25 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size

/brought to you by TC Tuggers
 
2021-04-16 11:39:49 PM  

Skarekrough: So, how far off from "God has forgiven me, why can't you?" are we?


Half a Gingrich.
 
2021-04-16 11:43:32 PM  

question_dj: mrshowrules: OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked

What motivation would she have to testify? Would she want to protect her anonymity to the greatest extent possible or do they have her on illegal shiat when she became an adult?

isn't the witness now working in porn?

testifying as a witness in a very public scandal would absolutely be a boom for her porn career.


Hopefully she's prepared for the internet bullying/stalking for Gaetz's crazed followers. Enough porn star suicides already from that shiat.
 
2021-04-16 11:43:35 PM  
I really like how Matt Gaetz is trying the "this whole thing is a hoax. It's all a conspiracy against me," defense without the over zealous personality cult that Trump had to actually believe it.
 
2021-04-16 11:44:19 PM  
TFA reads like extremely thin speculation. Why would the feds try to get a recording that would be inadmissible hearsay?
 
2021-04-16 11:46:20 PM  

vudukungfu: He is going to prime the legal abbitoir the rest of the grand old perverts are going to get run through


We asked for a simple block of flats.
 
2021-04-16 11:47:03 PM  

40 degree day: TFA reads like extremely thin speculation. Why would the feds try to get a recording that would be inadmissible hearsay?


You mean a lead?
 
2021-04-16 11:47:30 PM  

MattytheMouse: I really like how Matt Gaetz is trying the "this whole thing is a hoax. It's all a conspiracy against me," defense without the over zealous personality cult that Trump had to actually believe it.


Hell, the people that I've encountered who actually defend Matt Gaetz don't even believe it! From my experiences, Matt Gaetz defenders are just weirdos who don't see anything wrong with soliciting sex from a 17 year old.
 
2021-04-16 11:47:46 PM  

Summoner101: 40 degree day: TFA reads like extremely thin speculation. Why would the feds try to get a recording that would be inadmissible hearsay?

You mean a lead?


They don't need to be fishing at this point.
 
2021-04-16 11:49:02 PM  
Don't worry, Gaspedal has joined the new official Nazi Caucus just in case we were starting to forget that he is a literal ambulatory bag of sh*t.
 
2021-04-16 11:49:21 PM  

40 degree day: Summoner101: 40 degree day: TFA reads like extremely thin speculation. Why would the feds try to get a recording that would be inadmissible hearsay?

You mean a lead?

They don't need to be fishing at this point.


Yes you sound very smart.  Bless your heart.
 
2021-04-16 11:50:23 PM  
Guys.. turns out this is all a big misunderstanding between Matt and his upstairs neighbor and landlord Mr Roper. 

Nosy ol' Mr Roper is always misinterpreting the innocent events he walks in on between Matt & his female roommates... it often leads to wacky hijinks.
 
2021-04-16 11:52:22 PM  

cretinbob: If Florida is still a two party consent state, that's some serious guilt.


What are you talking about? TFA describes a phone call, not recorded, between 6 people. It also says someone's "worried" a different call might have been recorded, and does not say in what state the call originated or was received.
 
2021-04-16 11:52:27 PM  

Summoner101: 40 degree day: Summoner101: 40 degree day: TFA reads like extremely thin speculation. Why would the feds try to get a recording that would be inadmissible hearsay?

You mean a lead?

They don't need to be fishing at this point.

Yes you sound very smart.  Bless your heart.


Not cool. We all have an internet now, so we're all smart now.
 
2021-04-16 11:57:50 PM  
This must mean...oh, the hell with this
 
2021-04-17 12:02:07 AM  

Palined Parenthood: This must mean...oh, the hell with this


It was Friday when you posted that.
 
2021-04-17 12:04:10 AM  
Let's all cooperate against him. 🤨
 
2021-04-17 12:14:18 AM  

Purple_Urkle: Matt Gaetz's kink is naked kids hula hooping! Can we please shame THAT kink?
[Fark user image image 425x284]


Looks a lot like the spray paint huffing Warriors fan there
 
2021-04-17 12:22:35 AM  

Devolving_Spud: Matt was relatively quiet this week.   Musta been busy.  Deep legal troubles will do that.

//muahahahahahahahahahaha


He's running two Twitter feeds.
Personnal:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Official:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-17 12:26:29 AM  

chewd: Guys.. turns out this is all a big misunderstanding between Matt and his upstairs neighbor and landlord Mr Roper.
Nosy ol' Mr Roper is always misinterpreting the innocent events he walks in on between Matt & his female roommates... it often leads to wacky hijinks.


Fark user imageView Full Size


Nestor's pregnant?!?!
 
2021-04-17 12:28:20 AM  

roddikinsathome: Devolving_Spud: Matt was relatively quiet this week.   Musta been busy.  Deep legal troubles will do that.

//muahahahahahahahahahaha

He's running two Twitter feeds.
Personnal:
[Fark user image 850x510]
Official:
[Fark user image 850x564]


That first pic, he looks so much like Beavis.
 
2021-04-17 12:31:46 AM  

Yeast No 7: roddikinsathome: Devolving_Spud: Matt was relatively quiet this week.   Musta been busy.  Deep legal troubles will do that.

//muahahahahahahahahahaha

He's running two Twitter feeds.
Personnal:
[fark user image 850x510]
Official:
[fark user image 850x564]

That first pic, he looks so much like Beavis.


Yup.
 
2021-04-17 12:36:42 AM  
It's things like this that make me wonder if the GOP simply takes turns being assholes when one of their more prominent figures gets nailed for something.  Gym Jordan has been relatively quiet lately, up until his run-in with Fauci.  Was it his turn to wear the asshole hat now that Matt is out of commission?
 
2021-04-17 1:00:30 AM  

Maud Dib: vudukungfu: He is going to prime the legal abbitoir the rest of the grand old perverts are going to get run through

We asked for a simple block of flats.


You're gonna love the rotating knives.
 
2021-04-17 1:01:47 AM  
Yeah but it doesn't count because she didn't submit her testimony as a Certified! Letter!™ so Gaetz is automagically boss of the Girl Scouts forever and such as furthermore comma.
 
2021-04-17 1:06:24 AM  
That weasel with the high forehead?

Yeah, he can rot in hell
 
2021-04-17 1:17:28 AM  

OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked


Quite possibly. However he's a slimy Rethuglican. Next, he's rich kid, white, Rethuglican, who wasn't caught with a dead girl or a live boy. I have very little doubt he is actively trying to arrange something, or maybe his family is trying to buy someone off, to make this all go away.

Of course if we are really lucky he'll run out of options and be facing a federal prison sentence, most definitely not at Club Fed. At that point we might find out he's got some extensive video evidence a half dozen other Rethuglicans banged prostitutes, and maybe an underage girl, at one of their drug / sex parties. Gaspedo Gaetz does seem like the kind of slimy shiat that would secretly record things for future blackmail.
 
2021-04-17 1:27:13 AM  
This is the only believable way to combine Matt Gaetz and "two cooperative women" in the same sentence
 
2021-04-17 1:46:41 AM  

mrshowrules: OldRod: The new witness may be the woman who he trafficked while she was underage?

Oh, shiat, Matt... you're farked

What motivation would she have to testify? Would she want to protect her anonymity to the greatest extent possible or do they have her on illegal shiat when she became an adult?


Solicitation isn't a big, ten year minimum sentence crime like interstate trafficking of a minor, but it's still a crime worth taking a deal on.

Additionally, even with no legal exposure of her own, if she's a material witness without legal exposure she has no fifth amendment argument and can be compelled to testify, at which point there's no downside to cooperation and a contempt charge worth of jail in obstruction.

Primarily, though, it's not generally rocket science to get someone to testify about a crime where they were the victim, to the point that I doubt the FBI even had to bring the above up at all. To the point that I'm actually kinda confused by your question, actually, do you also have to deeply ponder how the prosecutor got the victim of a burglary to testify against the burglar?
 
2021-04-17 2:13:48 AM  

SumoJeb: This is the only believable way to combine Matt Gaetz and "two cooperative women" in the same sentence


At least, without money being exchanged.
 
2021-04-17 2:59:10 AM  

inglixthemad: Of course if we are really lucky he'll run out of options and be facing a federal prison sentence, most definitely not at Club Fed. At that point we might find out he's got some extensive video evidence a half dozen other Rethuglicans banged prostitutes, and maybe an underage girl, at one of their drug / sex parties. Gaspedo Gaetz does seem like the kind of slimy shiat that would secretly record things for future blackmail.


IDK, seems more like the slimy kind of stupid privileged shiat who wouldn't do that precisely because he believes (believed?) nothing will happen to him and he can continue doing whatever he wants.
 
2021-04-17 3:32:30 AM  

Yeast No 7: He ain't going anywhere.


I dunno, seems like his colleagues really don't want another asshole like Ted Cruz to deal with.
 
2021-04-17 7:23:41 AM  

Purple_Urkle: stan unusual: Just a little pillow talk.
[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 330x153]

[Fark user image image 425x425]

(Those aren't really Matt Gaetz's victims, top is a stock image, bottom is from a news article about teens and cellphone usage)

Gaetz has a pop socket on his phone.
My niece has one of those.


You can really see where his face is headed looks wise in that one.
 
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