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(Live Science)   "One possible explanation for this ancient cannibalism is that humans were easier to catch and more nutritious than other animals" - have they been to Walmart recently?   (livescience.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Male, Human evolution, Female, Human, Sex, Hominidae, Boy of Gran Dolina, canine teeth  
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854 clicks; posted to Food » and STEM » on 16 Apr 2021 at 1:48 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-16 12:54:32 PM  
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
 
2021-04-16 12:56:43 PM  
Aint no party like a Donner Party
 
2021-04-16 1:03:22 PM  
People simply liked their disco to be in disguise...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-16 1:25:50 PM  
Cannibalized remains of teenagers....

I told you to keep Matt Gaetz away from that time machine!!
 
2021-04-16 1:28:46 PM  
You think the People of Wal Mart are in any way nutritious, Subs?
 
2021-04-16 2:05:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"I pity the fool that tries to eat me"
-Sylvester Stallone
 
2021-04-16 2:08:44 PM  
I've seen some Walmart shoppers that could feed a family of four for a week, at least.
 
2021-04-16 2:09:50 PM  

Mantour: [Fark user image image 425x362]

"I pity the fool that tries to eat me"
-Sylvester Stallone


Jajaja
 
2021-04-16 2:11:55 PM  
between 1.2 million and 800,000 years ago.

Um... and they ate another "person"? Them of a different species? So?

You want to be concerned, check out the Aztecs, marquis de Sade, or some of the schitt that went down in the 20th century. Give us one BIG disaster, and we'll go there too... some things don't change.

Happy Friday!
 
2021-04-16 2:12:00 PM  
I think many people at Walmart would be very easy to catch.
But would you want to?
 
2021-04-16 2:12:08 PM  

runwiz: I've seen some Walmart shoppers that could feed a family of four for a week, at least.


And they'd be very easy to catch!
 
2021-04-16 2:15:48 PM  
LOL

Dig a pit just past the exit door and put some sharp stakes in it, you'll feed the village for eternity.
 
2021-04-16 2:16:38 PM  
 
2021-04-16 2:27:44 PM  
There's probably a catch and release strategy that involves self-recriminations and sanitizer.
 
2021-04-16 2:32:31 PM  
Other people do have basically everything your body needs.
 
2021-04-16 2:34:02 PM  
I'm fairly certain my marbling is superb. Like Wagyu 12 levels.
 
2021-04-16 2:46:59 PM  
I'm not convinced it would be worth getting dressed up for.
 
2021-04-16 2:51:14 PM  
Kid606 - Mr. Wobble's Nightmare
Youtube epI6D8NG4VE
 
2021-04-16 2:52:59 PM  

Psychopusher: You think the People of Wal Mart are in any way nutritious, Subs?


Maybe not, but the rendered fat from one could keep your cave lit for the whole Ice Age.
 
2021-04-16 3:08:44 PM  
The choicest People Fishing exists in the wild Ohio parking lots of Wal-Mart. Deep sea rigs baited with burgers, ribs, chunks of cheese and other fatty morsels prevent the largest of shoppers from ever reaching the store.
 
2021-04-16 3:39:13 PM  
tpc.googlesyndication.comView Full Size

A little disturbing to find this picture halfway down into the article
 
2021-04-16 4:58:39 PM  
I'd use the average American to heat my house, but grease fires tend to clog shiat and spread.

Also no. Pretty sure that's how you get a prion and a zombie apocalypse.
Though being known as the guy to set off the ZA might have its merits 🤔
 
2021-04-16 5:18:06 PM  

Mantour: [Fark user image 425x362]

"I pity the fool that tries to eat me"
-Sylvester Stallone


How many times did Ahnold get asked if he worked there?
 
2021-04-16 5:28:58 PM  
well if they kept her in the dark cave and limited her movement she would be very tender
 
2021-04-16 5:37:28 PM  
RedLetterMedia - Shaq Meat
Youtube tejVykfuF7o
 
2021-04-16 6:16:06 PM  
Americans would be too fatty with the unheathy sorts of fats, and we would also be full of toxins and bad chemicals. Lead, PCBs, pesticides, and so on. Heck, we abuse our antibiotics, too.

Kinda like our beef and some grains, civilized countries would not touch it or allow its import/consumption.

Nope, Americans are not food. We are just low-quality fats to be used for greasing heavy machinery and lighting outdoor lamps.
 
2021-04-16 6:20:24 PM  
"Oh gee, Flora, you are so much easier to catch than a buffalo and you're nutritious as well, I think I love you. . . . nom nom nom."
 
2021-04-16 6:20:56 PM  
Suspect FTA was written by some coocoo.
 
2021-04-16 7:04:50 PM  
Talk about grimdark Jack and Jill
 
2021-04-16 7:18:19 PM  
Anybody remember ManBeef.com that purported to sell human meat?

/It wasn't porn when it started in 2001 but is now
 
2021-04-16 8:23:07 PM  
Conversely the first mission on a time machine needs to be learning which man first farked a mammoth.
 
2021-04-16 8:33:14 PM  

Snaptastic: Americans would be too fatty with the unheathy sorts of fats, and we would also be full of toxins and bad chemicals. Lead, PCBs, pesticides, and so on. Heck, we abuse our antibiotics, too.

Kinda like our beef and some grains, civilized countries would not touch it or allow its import/consumption.

Nope, Americans are not food. We are just low-quality fats to be used for greasing heavy machinery and lighting outdoor lamps.


For giggles I pulled up one of those BMI calculators.  I am 5 11"  190lbs with a 34" waist.  I am apparently fat.
 
2021-04-16 9:17:20 PM  

zeroflight222: Anybody remember ManBeef.com that purported to sell human meat?

/It wasn't porn when it started in 2001 but is now


YES.  I wish that there was a fully archived site.  That was one of my favorite WTF sites to send to gullible people, like my parents.

another great old media that i really wish still existed, was Thespark.com.  There were some hilarious articles, namely "the date my sister project" where this guy catalog and kind of snooped on his sisters dates, and "the stinkyfeet project" where the writer attempted to keep his feet wrapped in plastic bags for like, a month and noted just how gross it got.

I miss that old timey internet.
 
2021-04-16 9:55:49 PM  

phedex: zeroflight222: Anybody remember ManBeef.com that purported to sell human meat?

/It wasn't porn when it started in 2001 but is now

YES.  I wish that there was a fully archived site.  That was one of my favorite WTF sites to send to gullible people, like my parents.

another great old media that i really wish still existed, was Thespark.com.  There were some hilarious articles, namely "the date my sister project" where this guy catalog and kind of snooped on his sisters dates, and "the stinkyfeet project" where the writer attempted to keep his feet wrapped in plastic bags for like, a month and noted just how gross it got.

I miss that old timey internet.


As it happens, the Wayback Machine has copies.  Stick to 2001 though.

Here's Sept. '01
https://web.archive.org/web/200110142​0​0519/http://www.manbeef.com/home.html
 
2021-04-17 12:13:01 AM  

Maturin: [tpc.googlesyndication.com image 850x444]
A little disturbing to find this picture halfway down into the article


Ah, tweener nuggets.
 
2021-04-17 12:41:19 AM  
People have less muscle strength vs animals per pound. So I kinda think people would have a meat texture like a salmon. Probably tastes like pork. There has been modern day cannibalism. No idea if the taste and texture have been confirmed.
 
2021-04-17 1:02:54 AM  

Befuddled: Other people do have basically everything your body needs.


Just stay away from the brains you damn zombie wannabes.  Cannibalism is bad enough, we don't need prion disease to add to the fun.
 
2021-04-17 4:42:56 AM  
People were jerks in the old days

/Hopefully we will work together to not return to such times.
 
2021-04-17 6:42:22 AM  

FarkingChas: People have less muscle strength vs animals per pound. So I kinda think people would have a meat texture like a salmon. Probably tastes like pork. There has been modern day cannibalism. No idea if the taste and texture have been confirmed.


Quid pro quo, Mr. Colt
Youtube HFndeRQaThc
 
2021-04-17 7:06:10 AM  
Percise1: You want to be concerned, check out the Aztecs, marquis de Sade, or some of the schitt that went down in the 20th century. Give us one BIG disaster, and we'll go there too... some things don't change.

If the bodies are fresh enough, yeah.  Even cooking can help with the skunky flesh.  But in the long run, you want to use them to fatten another omnivore so you can dodge the nasty side effect putrefaction and those pesky prions.  Sadly, the most prolific omnivores on-hand would be dogs and rats, and I bet a lot of people would still prefer to eat the stranger.

/If only guinea pigs would eat human flesh.
//Or pot belly pigs were still all the rage.
 
2021-04-17 12:10:34 PM  

Snaptastic: Americans would be too fatty with the unheathy sorts of fats, and we would also be full of toxins and bad chemicals. Lead, PCBs, pesticides, and so on. Heck, we abuse our antibiotics, too.

Kinda like our beef and some grains, civilized countries would not touch it or allow its import/consumption.

Nope, Americans are not food. We are just low-quality fats to be used for greasing heavy machinery and lighting outdoor lamps.


Hate to break it to you, but McDonalds operates in over half of the world's countries. Some of which you may even call civilized!
 
2021-04-17 1:03:48 PM  
have they been to Walmart recently?

Well, they're still easy to catch.
 
2021-04-17 1:19:57 PM  
lerageshirts.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-17 4:16:29 PM  

BrundleFlyForAWhiteGuy: Snaptastic: Americans would be too fatty with the unheathy sorts of fats, and we would also be full of toxins and bad chemicals. Lead, PCBs, pesticides, and so on. Heck, we abuse our antibiotics, too.

Kinda like our beef and some grains, civilized countries would not touch it or allow its import/consumption.

Nope, Americans are not food. We are just low-quality fats to be used for greasing heavy machinery and lighting outdoor lamps.

Hate to break it to you, but McDonalds operates in over half of the world's countries. Some of which you may even call civilized!


If you look at the ingredients used from country to country, the menu items and ingredients change.

For example, just because McDs uses Yellow #5 freely in foods does not mean the EU would give them a pass to use it there. McDs has to rework their recipes to suit local tastes and laws.

That said, McDs in Paris has amazing pastries that we certainly wouldn't find here, and McDs in Japan is leaps ahead in quality and appearance.
 
2021-04-17 7:41:18 PM  

natazha: Psychopusher: You think the People of Wal Mart are in any way nutritious, Subs?

Maybe not, but the rendered fat from one could keep your cave lit for the whole Ice Age.


Exquisitely marbled though.
 
2021-04-17 8:45:18 PM  
Who knew early man had an Instagram filter?
 
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