Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wired)   YES and please stop   (wired.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Boss, fun questions, good recipe, Doing It, endorsement of my qualifications, future direct reports, fair number of pals, question multiple times  
•       •       •

5659 clicks; posted to Main » and STEM » on 15 Apr 2021 at 7:56 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-15 5:05:48 PM  
'If I claim I'm in California, no one will guess it's me.'  -Matt Gaetz
 
2021-04-15 8:02:55 PM  
Not necessarily managers but I've had co-workers tell me things that at the time had me standing there thinking, "I don't know why you're telling this to me but if I were in your shoes I wouldn't be telling it to anyone".
 
2021-04-15 8:03:42 PM  
Holding up soiled underwear is more difficult than you think when you have to consider production values and lighting design.
 
2021-04-15 8:19:26 PM  
What if you really, really want to sleep with one of your coworkers?
 
2021-04-15 8:22:09 PM  

C18H27NO3: Not necessarily managers but I've had co-workers tell me things that at the time had me standing there thinking, "I don't know why you're telling this to me but if I were in your shoes I wouldn't be telling it to anyone".


Been there.
I have no idea why she wanted to tell everyone in the lunch room that her boyfriend's mother called while she was sucking him off, and he answered, and she kept going because she thought it would be "rude" to stop, and he came in her mouth while discussing his sister.
It wasn't a great sandwich anyway and I really had to get back to work.
 
2021-04-15 8:23:11 PM  
"Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".
 
2021-04-15 8:25:46 PM  
I remember my old boss once telling me "The worst thing you could want from me is my attention". Words I live by when it comes to work.
 
2021-04-15 8:26:03 PM  

lurkey: "Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".


"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"
 
2021-04-15 8:36:26 PM  
Had to wear a suit one day (out of the ordinary for my job), and one of the owners said, "What's up?  Got an interview or something?"  and I reflexively answered, "I wish..."  It was only when somebody laughed that I realized what I said.  Didn't care too much, I guess; I left it that way.
 
2021-04-15 9:11:33 PM  
Now that we've all seen each other's pets' buttholes are there really any barriers remaining?
 
2021-04-15 9:24:26 PM  
Could tell a CSB regarding an unintentional cat turd hanging on an overseer's winter coat, but that might be too much information.

\ end CSB
 
2021-04-15 9:25:42 PM  
Unfortunately, the person who tells you too much is usually also the person who wants to chat when you're trying to concentrate on your work. So yeah, STFU and talk to your friends after work instead.
 
2021-04-15 9:46:57 PM  

Coach McGirk: lurkey: "Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"


/twitch

I work with her.
 
2021-04-15 10:47:14 PM  

GrogSmash: Coach McGirk: lurkey: "Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"

/twitch

I work with her.


OMG. You poor thing, c'mere.

*hug*
 
2021-04-15 10:47:26 PM  

Coach McGirk: lurkey: "Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"


Heh.  At a job I had a long time ago a co-worker lost his shiat about 'Teh Jeezuz!'.
I don't remember specifically what set it off but I think I was handling something and probably muttered, "god damnit" to myself, as one does, and him being in earshot started in with not using the lords name in vain.
I respond with something like, "Keep your imaginary bullshiat to yourself" or something and he starts farking literally shouting at me about how my disbelief is because I fear god and I should seek redemption and other dumb crap.

We're both shouting at each other (~30' apart) for a few minutes, which in my mind, was for the dumbest reason ever.  There was a point that I thought it might start to become physical (by him), but it ultimately didn't.  It couldn't go on forever because both of us did actually have work to do.
So anyway, not long after he gets into a car accident and receives a large settlement.  I don't know what kind of joint accounts they had but his then-girlfriend took all of the money and left him, just like Jesus would have wanted.
 
2021-04-15 10:48:57 PM  

C18H27NO3: Coach McGirk: lurkey: "Sorry, wasn't listening, is there a Reader's Digest version that I can throw away with the rest of the junk mail?".
"The lady at the employment office likes stories, go tell her this one".
"Do you have cats? You smell like cats".
"Whoops, sorry about your shirt, your story distracted me".
"Let me tell you about Painful Rectal Itch".

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior?"

Heh.  At a job I had a long time ago a co-worker lost his shiat about 'Teh Jeezuz!'.
I don't remember specifically what set it off but I think I was handling something and probably muttered, "god damnit" to myself, as one does, and him being in earshot started in with not using the lords name in vain.
I respond with something like, "Keep your imaginary bullshiat to yourself" or something and he starts farking literally shouting at me about how my disbelief is because I fear god and I should seek redemption and other dumb crap.

We're both shouting at each other (~30' apart) for a few minutes, which in my mind, was for the dumbest reason ever.  There was a point that I thought it might start to become physical (by him), but it ultimately didn't.  It couldn't go on forever because both of us did actually have work to do.
So anyway, not long after he gets into a car accident and receives a large settlement.  I don't know what kind of joint accounts they had but his then-girlfriend took all of the money and left him, just like Jesus would have wanted.


I'm so sorry you had to work with my ex-husband.
 
2021-04-15 11:33:32 PM  
Yep. I've had too many coworkers who thought that team meetings were for talking about their home lives. Always thought it was weird. A friend of mine worked at AgileOne in Sommerville(?), CA and he told me that Monday morning meetings were for telling everyone what you did last weekend, including where you dined and how drunk you got, etc. They were pretty much required too. I told him that sounded crazy and he responded that management considered it team building.
 
2021-04-16 12:52:46 AM  
Want someone to immediately stop talking to you?

"As a vegan, I..."

Makes them run away every time.

/vegan
//we are annoying
///flee in terror from other vegans too
 
2021-04-16 1:16:03 AM  
"Am I doing the wrong thing when I'm not terrifically discrete?"

I don't know what you did, but you need to get to a hospital. Maybe they can reattach it.
 
2021-04-17 12:39:50 AM  

evilskinnybroad: Want someone to immediately stop talking to you?

"As a vegan, I..."

Makes them run away every time.

/vegan
//we are annoying
///flee in terror from other vegans too


Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your savior?
Here, I have a brochure...
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.