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(Wikipedia)   Know how you hate the alarm clock when it goes off? Imagine being the alarm clock. What was your worst job?   (en.m.wikipedia.org) divider line
    More: Vintage, Industrial Revolution, Mrs. Molly Moore, daughter of Mrs. Mary Smith, knocker-upper, Robert Giroux, slate boards, Terms of Use, Mary Smith  
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222 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 11 Apr 2021 at 1:50 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-11 1:58:13 AM  
My worst job was working a telemarketing job for home improvement products. I spent two days in the call center cold calling strangers. Didn't return to work for the 3rd day. Didn't bother to go back for the paycheck for 2 days either.

Re the linked Wiki entry:
A knocker-up is also a member of my family, especially my late paternal grandfather. He alone is responsible for creating 37 lives that we know of. There may be more. My dad is one of 37 and my mom is one of 10. The lady who lived one street behind where I grew up gave birth to 22 kids herself. Wasn't much to do in that town other than drinking and farking.
 
2021-04-11 2:05:42 AM  
Door to door sales sucked but a very close second was working in the stock room at Victoria's Secret.  I was the only male employee and... It just sucked.  You'd think it would be great and you'd be very very wrong.
 
2021-04-11 3:30:19 AM  

orangehat: ... but a very close second was working in the stock room at Victoria's Secret.  I was the only male employee and... It just sucked.  You'd think it would be great and you'd be very very wrong.


No, I can see how it. Being the only male employee at a VS would feel great for only about a second before it's replaced by an overwhelming feeling of perviness and the paranoid avoidance at doing or saying anything that could be interpreted as pervy by co-workers and customers.
 
2021-04-11 3:31:53 AM  
My mistake. The first sentence should read, "No, I can see it."
 
2021-04-11 4:23:33 AM  
So, who wakes up the knocker-uppers so they themselves can get to work on time?
 
2021-04-11 4:42:26 AM  
Given I thought being knocked-up meant you were pregnant, my idea of a knocker-upper was a bit different.
 
2021-04-11 6:14:24 AM  
In college I worked calling cancer patients to bug them about paying their bills for radiation.

I didn't last long at that. It was sucking out my soul.

Washing dishes didn't pay as well, but at least I could sleep at night.
 
2021-04-11 7:38:57 AM  
I was desperate for a job after college and somehow got roped into a debt collection job. I went through training and two days on the job before I realized I couldn't do it. My supervisor was sympathetic when I quit and told me she got off the phones and into management because one of her debtors named her in his suicide note.

My shoes probably left marks on the floor I turned to get out so fast.
 
2021-04-11 7:52:19 AM  
My first job was getting mildly taken advantage of as a teen working retail, but it was also great fun, as I was surrounded by a lot of other teens in that same grocery store.

My worst job was my first grown up job after college.  I took a temporary/seasonal entry level job with the IRS, where I literally just made red marks on tax returns so that the more valuable computer entry employees could more quickly input the marked data.  It was absolutely trained chimpanzee style work.
 
2021-04-11 7:55:04 AM  

Nidiot: Given I thought being knocked-up meant you were pregnant, my idea of a knocker-upper was a bit different.


Waaay back, chairs and sofas had cushions stuffed with horse-hair. In the furniture trade, horse-hair was known as 'saggers'.

The cushions might be covered with leather or fabric, but the inner 'bag' was usually made of hessian.

So, to simplify the bag-stuffing-with-saggers, the bag was suspended from a frame at shoulder height so the guy didn't have to stoop, and the mouth of the bag was held open. 

And, to ensure the saggers settled evenly in the bag, a second operator stood in a pit at the base of the frame, belting the bag from below.

The trade classification of the top guy was 'Sagger Bagger'.

The trade classification of the second guy was 'Sagger Bagger's Bottom Knocker'...
 
2021-04-11 8:02:39 AM  

themindiswatching: So, who wakes up the knocker-uppers so they themselves can get to work on time?


Fark user imageView Full Size


Maybe it was this bastard, you son of a biatch!
 
2021-04-11 8:18:09 AM  
Working the dish tank at a restaurant I guess was the worst job I've done. It wasn't my position but most of us waiters asked how high when told to jump, lest we get locked out of shift preferences, party assignments, or perks like an open tap at the end of shift.

Plenty of worse jobs out there, but you were basically just bathing in food the whole shift. Thank god that didn't awaken anything within me ;)
 
2021-04-11 8:50:07 AM  
cold calling for timeshare.

then, every.single.job. , barring 1 rare exception.
 
2021-04-11 8:55:15 AM  

themindiswatching: So, who wakes up the knocker-uppers so they themselves can get to work on time?


made me think of this

TV commercial film for Volkswagen "Snow Plow"
Youtube ABcckOTVqao
 
2021-04-11 9:18:59 AM  
It wasn't any of the physical labor jobs, retail work, or fast food gigs; nor was it staffing group homes for the mentally ill. It was my time as IT Director for a holding company specializing in acquiring promising start-ups and bringing them to market.

This started in 2007. The founder / CEO of the company had made $350m as part of the dot-com bubble. He sold some sort of ISP consulting business at the height of the market which was worthless less that 12 months later. Purely a matter of right-place-right-time fortune. As a result of his money he considered himself to be brilliant, 5 steps ahead of everyone else, and always right. He had moved to St. Barts, got bored with being "out of the game," and returned to found this new company. The CFO and my direct manager was a childhood friend of his who had little to no experience in the role of CFO. He had no formal training. He was a career Marine who retired from service and was given this position.

After a few months their utter ineptitude and stupidity became clear. Before I could get out the market tanked and finding a new job was really hard. I was stuck.

The CEO was convinced he could earn millions through the hoarding and selling of popular domain names. He actually did own one which drew constant offers; routinely he'd be offered up to $100k. He'd always refuse and counter with $2m. No one ever responded after that. He'd email me every now and then with instructions to purchase new domain names that he thought of-- words he made up which he thought "sounded cool" and people may want to buy: crexalon, intimidus, and so on. He had me maintain a spreadsheet with them all.

We had a mandatory company outing once. The CEO and CFO both owned sailing yachts. They decided it would be fun to have everyone go for a sail.... on a Sunday. They flew people in from the out-of-state office on a late afternoon Saturday flight, had them share hotel rooms, put us on the boats Sunday morning, stopped off at a beach for grilled hot dogs, returned us to port at 4pm, and had them board flights back home by 8pm. The CEO had a history of substance abuse so there was no alcohol. We essentially all just gathered around to see them play with their boats.

The breakroom had coffee and soda, but we had to pay for them. Mandatory office hours were enforced: 8am - 6pm. No one had a customer-facing role, and no outsiders ever came to the office, but there was a suit and tie dress code. After the market collapse, the CEO's net worth took a huge hit. Insurance benefits were changed and became virtually non-existent. He started selling off a lot of his holdings including his St. Bart's home and his sports cars. One of my last tasks before finally getting out was to photoshop a picture of his McLaren F1 to change the color of the leather seats inside because the potential buyer (Ralph Lauren, believe it or not) wanted to see what they would look like in red.
 
2021-04-11 9:28:43 AM  
Seasonal work: Drivers helper for UPS. The company management and office folks were all good.

I worked with 2 drivers....Stan was an MCSE but found he made more money doing this (very Office Space, I know). We got along well, and he was a good guy. We parted ways each day around noon.


The other driver pair were awful. One guy was a dbag, late 20s with a local college business degree; he couldn't believe UPS pulled him to do this kind of menial work. He was management for gosh sakes! He wasn't going to be working hard, that's for sure.
The other guy was maybe late 50s (but a lifetime of smoking blurred that line). He was the stereotypical teamster....had a long time union gig driving a bread delivery truck. He had been making $70k per year (in late 90s $), and was mad at the world when that gravy train came to an end. He DESERVED that money, and no way in hell he was working hard delivering stuff for the money UPS was paying.

That left me to do deliver carts full of stuff (6 boxes of clothing per cart, packed to 60-70 lbs each) while the other pair would jointly deliver a single small box. Then they'd move the truck to another entrance so they didn't have to walk so far for the next box.

At the end of it all, the office contact called me and asked about my experience. I told him.
The teamster "reminded" me that I'd better speak nicely of him to the office (unaware we had already spoken)....he needed this job. I said not to worry, I'll tell the truth...
 
2021-04-11 9:31:02 AM  
Managing a run-down dump of a strip club in a depressed area was pretty much the worst. Having to keep the dancers from turning tricks in the VIP, breaking up fights, trying to find a bartender who could make it through a shift without getting falling-down drunk, and feeling like it was a bad idea to go to work without a gun all just made it unpleasant.
 
2021-04-11 9:42:33 AM  
My worst job was the one I just left.  I was the scale attendant at an aluminum-processing facility.  My job was to weigh trucks in and out, which in and of itself isn't too bad.  Add to that the filling out of receiving forms, entering everything on computer, doing all the scheduling according to a series of increasingly arcane rules (and god help you if you get any of it wrong), answering all phone calls (yes, receptionist duties on top of all this), and a boss who could charitably be described as 'mercurial', although 'pathological narcissist' works just as well, who would do all he could to destroy my already shaky self-esteem.  If I had stayed there much longer (I lasted a year and 9 months) I would have ended up taking my own life.

Now I'm at a much easier and quieter job - second-shift storeroom clerk at a place that makes steel pipes.  Kinda dull at times, but at least I don't go home wallowing in a pool of self-loathing.
 
2021-04-11 9:57:34 AM  
When you start scraping the bottom of the barrel, it's hard to choose. There was that month in 2005 that I worked day labor. At one point I was tying off rebar for reinforced concrete in 105F blazing Colorado sunshine. Or the 3 weeks I spent trying to canvass (going door-to-door asking for donations) for a rape prevention/survivor assistance non-profit. That was demoralizing as f*ck. I'm a sh*tty salesman even when what I'm selling is the absence of rape. Or the time I tried to assistant manage a Subway and lasted 3 days. "Clusterf*cked sh*t show" doesn't even come close to describing that hell hole.

I know there's more, but I've decided to have some coffee and look at funny cat pictures instead. *shudder*
 
2021-04-11 10:03:48 AM  
x-ray orderly

back in the day, every patient was checked for TB by x-ray.

this included the 95 year olds who were dying after breaking a hip.
 
2021-04-11 10:27:34 AM  
One summer, I worked an assembly line for an International Paper Plastics plant. They made containers for cottage cheese, yogurt, that kind of thing. I was a packer making $5.xx/hr in 1978.  They worked three shifts a day and we changed shifts weekly; it was like permanent jet lag.

The process started with silos of plastic pellets being melted and extruded into huge rolls of plastic. Those rolls were fed into a machine that was a long line of heaters to soften if up so that they could be sucked into forms at the end. Leaving that machine, the continuous sheet of plastic would go through a cutter that popped out the containers.

So I'd take this stuff off the cutting tray and pack them in boxes to go to the next step. This stuff came fast; think Lucy and Ethel. They slowed the machine down for us newbies but cranked it up as we got the hang of it. Three times those containers would get handled: once off the cutter, again coming off the lip roller (which smoothed the cut edge, and finally off the printer. Silicon spray was used to keep the static charge from building and you could feel it on the plastic. Surely the food processors had some cleaning process before they put food in ? The plastics plant was not real clean. At the last stop, they got packed into a plastic lined box and sealed up tight and labeled, giving an illusion of cleanliness. The cutter line was the most work and the printer shop the least; it was air conditioned. Not for worker comfort but for inking purposes.

It was very hot with those ovens; well over 100 degrees in the building and being Illinois in the summer, humid as hell. And super loud, due to the high speed plastic choppers beneath the floor that were fed the trimmings for recycling. There were some good people there and some raving lunatics, violent assholes, druggies, wife beaters, you name it. People that have likely been in the police blotter. Frankly, a lot of people who were going to be on the bottom rung of society their whole lives.

As a kid on break, it was a good motivator to stick out college.
 
2021-04-11 11:31:31 AM  
Mini-mart.  That place set off every alarm I have for invasiveness, noise, bad employee morale, drudgery, disorganization, dehumanization, and just the sheer pointlessness of it even existing.    There isn't one thing in a mini-mart that anyone should put into their bodies, and a lot of it is addictive.  There is no reason anyone needs to buy that kind of "food."
Those stores are temples for the fat and lazy and entitled.
 
2021-04-11 11:39:45 AM  
Scuba factory doing what the other guys called "Latka jobs".

Stacking swim fins on the factory loft, middle of summer. Folding promotional posters and random boxes.
But there were a few days where I was drilling holes in fiberglass rods. No gloves, no respirator.
I could barely hold the steering wheel on the way home those days.


It's a close second to working one particular vfx job.
 
2021-04-11 11:49:49 AM  
Working in the clam factory. Standing at the end of the assembly line filling 170lb boxes of frozen chopped clams, wrestling them onto the vibrator, sealing them up, putting four on a pallet, then wheeling the whole thing into the storage freezer. Boxing up plastic containers of frozen clam chowder, shrink wrapping and boxing trays of stuffed clams, and dragging things in and out of the blast freezer (85°F on the factory floor, -40°F in the freezer). The cleanup at the end of the day, when everyone would hose down their machines and the floor, washing the crud toward the trough running down the middle of the factory floor. My job was to crouch down in there and clean it from end to end, shoveling seafloor muck, discarded bits of clam and broken shell before me, all the while getting doused with freezing water from the hoses above. The worst, though, was packing up decorative shells for shipment to Japan. They'd been left on the roof to rot and soften up the insides. It was my job to rinse them out with the power hose before boxing them up. The sweet stench of rotten clam and maggots haunts me to this day.
 
2021-04-11 11:57:17 AM  
Back in 1984 while living in the Seattle area I did a bunch of jobs for a temp company. (Like Manpower)
Most of the jobs were warehouse/industrial and would last anywhere from one day to a couple of weeks.
Most of it was manual labor and some places were terrible. (Although some were kinda cool.)
I unloaded lots of trailers & shipping containers, and general schlepping etc.

The worst job was at an outfit that manufactured cinder blocks.
They had huge conveyor belts that fed sand to the factory.
These belts lost a lot of sand on the way in and I spent a week shoveling piles of sand from under these
belts and throwing it up back on the belt.

The world needs ditch diggers but I didn't want to be one so it was a couple of months later I got back in school and with skill and some luck I spent the next thirty years in the semiconductor industry, which also uses a lot of sand but in a very different way..
 
2021-04-11 12:20:10 PM  
My worst job was thinning lettuce plants with a short handled hoe. I had to use my left hand to straighten the fingers from the hoe handle after 8 hours.
I got into sales and would often ask the customer which of their jobs was the worst. One guy told me about his experience at a cement plant. The dry powder filled the bag, the machine sealed it and his job was to stack bags onto pallets. 100 pound bags were stacked to the ceiling, and to get them there he would make a staircase of bags, carry one to the uppermost pallet and walk down to the bagging machine to pick up another. Up and down the cement bags all day.
He had arms as big as my legs and I was a bicyclist.
 
2021-04-11 12:25:42 PM  

Fear the Clam: Working in the clam factory. Standing at the end of the assembly line filling 170lb boxes of frozen chopped clams, wrestling them onto the vibrator, sealing them up, putting four on a pallet, then wheeling the whole thing into the storage freezer. Boxing up plastic containers of frozen clam chowder, shrink wrapping and boxing trays of stuffed clams, and dragging things in and out of the blast freezer (85°F on the factory floor, -40°F in the freezer). The cleanup at the end of the day, when everyone would hose down their machines and the floor, washing the crud toward the trough running down the middle of the factory floor. My job was to crouch down in there and clean it from end to end, shoveling seafloor muck, discarded bits of clam and broken shell before me, all the while getting doused with freezing water from the hoses above. The worst, though, was packing up decorative shells for shipment to Japan. They'd been left on the roof to rot and soften up the insides. It was my job to rinse them out with the power hose before boxing them up. The sweet stench of rotten clam and maggots haunts me to this day.


Username made me farking lmao.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2021-04-11 12:27:26 PM  

Fear the Clam: Working in the clam factory. Standing at the end of the assembly line filling 170lb boxes of frozen chopped clams, wrestling them onto the vibrator, sealing them up, putting four on a pallet, then wheeling the whole thing into the storage freezer. Boxing up plastic containers of frozen clam chowder, shrink wrapping and boxing trays of stuffed clams, and dragging things in and out of the blast freezer (85°F on the factory floor, -40°F in the freezer). The cleanup at the end of the day, when everyone would hose down their machines and the floor, washing the crud toward the trough running down the middle of the factory floor. My job was to crouch down in there and clean it from end to end, shoveling seafloor muck, discarded bits of clam and broken shell before me, all the while getting doused with freezing water from the hoses above. The worst, though, was packing up decorative shells for shipment to Japan. They'd been left on the roof to rot and soften up the insides. It was my job to rinse them out with the power hose before boxing them up. The sweet stench of rotten clam and maggots haunts me to this day.


Username checks out.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2021-04-11 12:28:47 PM  

Willie_One_Eye: My worst job was thinning lettuce plants with a short handled hoe. I had to use my left hand to straighten the fingers from the hoe handle after 8 hours.
I got into sales and would often ask the customer which of their jobs was the worst. One guy told me about his experience at a cement plant. The dry powder filled the bag, the machine sealed it and his job was to stack bags onto pallets. 100 pound bags were stacked to the ceiling, and to get them there he would make a staircase of bags, carry one to the uppermost pallet and walk down to the bagging machine to pick up another. Up and down the cement bags all day.
He had arms as big as my legs and I was a bicyclist.


He had huge arms but his lungs are probably ruined.
 
2021-04-11 12:56:49 PM  
Temp job for an artsy circus outfit, one of the touring versions of the one you're thinking of   Dishwasher for the construction phase, when they were erecting the tents and various stuff.  No kitchen set up, so they were preparing some of the hot food outdoors.  Washing pots and pans and utensils in two tubs, one with hot water heated on the grill, very hot, mixed with "cold" water from big bottled water jugs (5 gal, or whatever the size they use in water coolers is) and soap, one tub for rinsing.  Tubs were only 3" deep, and not big enough to clean a whole pot or pan at a time.  Also, the site was on the edge of town, and we were not allowed to park at the site, so that meant taking the bus for 1-1/2 to 2 hours each day, each way, and spending $5 on the day's bus fare.  Driving would have taken about 20-30 minutes each way.  Once their dishwashing equipment and kitchen set-up arrived, was abruptly dismissed by phone call.  Well, at least they didn't make me come in to hear the news.
 
2021-04-11 1:03:46 PM  
Bartender, right out of high school. Low man on the seniority list for that shift had to shuck oysters for the first few hours, before things got busy, and they didn't need free oysters to lure in the early drinkers. Anyone that has opened a rotten oyster knows what dead things smell like. If you shuck a couple hundred oysters every night, you will get a rotten one every other day. And when you did, management didn't have to worry about feeding you on your shift. To this day, I can't even stand the sight of oysters. Even seeing a picture of them on packages in the grocery store makes me gag.
 
2021-04-11 1:56:52 PM  

yakmans_dad: x-ray orderly

back in the day, every patient was checked for TB by x-ray.

this included the 95 year olds who were dying after breaking a hip.


The point isn't to determine if they need to be treated TB, the point is to prevent them from spreading TB to others. Hospital-acquired infections are a big deal.
 
2021-04-11 1:58:40 PM  
"imagine being the alarm clock"

I'm not a ding a long
 
2021-04-11 2:03:57 PM  
Power washing. Most of our jobs were cleaning restaurant hoods and ventilation ducts. We'd have to tarp the entire kitchen so the spray back wouldn't land on anything.  Smear potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide on everything without burning a hole in your clothes or flesh. Then fire up a pressure washer and spray superheated water in an enclosed space where it's guaranteed to bounce right back into your face. After a day doing that, you'd be so coated in 5 years of accumulated grease that showers were practically useless. The water would just bead off. Lava was the only soap that worked and even after debriding yourself, you'd still smell of stale fries and old fish.
 
2021-04-11 2:30:18 PM  

Smackledorfer: Working the dish tank at a restaurant I guess was the worst job I've done. It wasn't my position but most of us waiters asked how high when told to jump, lest we get locked out of shift preferences, party assignments, or perks like an open tap at the end of shift.

Plenty of worse jobs out there, but you were basically just bathing in food the whole shift. Thank god that didn't awaken anything within me ;)


I worked at a place where on the weekday lunch shift servers were supposed to do dishes from their tables- plates, glasses, silverware. One poor girl thought this meant allthe dishes and spent like 15 minutes scrubbing pots and pans before I noticed and stopped her.
 
2021-04-11 2:32:19 PM  

Everything is Awful: Smackledorfer: Working the dish tank at a restaurant I guess was the worst job I've done. It wasn't my position but most of us waiters asked how high when told to jump, lest we get locked out of shift preferences, party assignments, or perks like an open tap at the end of shift.

Plenty of worse jobs out there, but you were basically just bathing in food the whole shift. Thank god that didn't awaken anything within me ;)

I worked at a place where on the weekday lunch shift servers were supposed to do dishes from their tables- plates, glasses, silverware. One poor girl thought this meant allthe dishes and spent like 15 minutes scrubbing pots and pans before I noticed and stopped her.


That's crazy, both the way they ran things and her goofy ass.
 
2021-04-11 2:34:53 PM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Power washing. Most of our jobs were cleaning restaurant hoods and ventilation ducts. We'd have to tarp the entire kitchen so the spray back wouldn't land on anything.  Smear potassium hydroxide or sodium hydroxide on everything without burning a hole in your clothes or flesh. Then fire up a pressure washer and spray superheated water in an enclosed space where it's guaranteed to bounce right back into your face. After a day doing that, you'd be so coated in 5 years of accumulated grease that showers were practically useless. The water would just bead off. Lava was the only soap that worked and even after debriding yourself, you'd still smell of stale fries and old fish.


You win. I had a job in high school, where you would get home from closing at midnight or 1AM, and have to grab the bottle of dishwashing soap from the kitchen sink to take into the shower. Pumice soap for hands.
 
2021-04-11 3:20:04 PM  

Smackledorfer: Everything is Awful: Smackledorfer: Working the dish tank at a restaurant I guess was the worst job I've done. It wasn't my position but most of us waiters asked how high when told to jump, lest we get locked out of shift preferences, party assignments, or perks like an open tap at the end of shift.

Plenty of worse jobs out there, but you were basically just bathing in food the whole shift. Thank god that didn't awaken anything within me ;)

I worked at a place where on the weekday lunch shift servers were supposed to do dishes from their tables- plates, glasses, silverware. One poor girl thought this meant allthe dishes and spent like 15 minutes scrubbing pots and pans before I noticed and stopped her.

That's crazy, both the way they ran things and her goofy ass.


It was busy work during slow times when there wasn't anything else to do. Taking care of tables was always their top priority and if it got busy nobody was expecting them to also be washing their dishes.

She is a good friend of mine, but jfc, "her goofy ass" is correct. I have stories, she'll probably make it into another csb sunday at some point.
 
2021-04-11 3:55:39 PM  

Everything is Awful: Smackledorfer: Everything is Awful: Smackledorfer: Working the dish tank at a restaurant I guess was the worst job I've done. It wasn't my position but most of us waiters asked how high when told to jump, lest we get locked out of shift preferences, party assignments, or perks like an open tap at the end of shift.

Plenty of worse jobs out there, but you were basically just bathing in food the whole shift. Thank god that didn't awaken anything within me ;)

I worked at a place where on the weekday lunch shift servers were supposed to do dishes from their tables- plates, glasses, silverware. One poor girl thought this meant allthe dishes and spent like 15 minutes scrubbing pots and pans before I noticed and stopped her.

That's crazy, both the way they ran things and her goofy ass.

It was busy work during slow times when there wasn't anything else to do. Taking care of tables was always their top priority and if it got busy nobody was expecting them to also be washing their dishes.

She is a good friend of mine, but jfc, "her goofy ass" is correct. I have stories, she'll probably make it into another csb sunday at some point.


I get time to lean time to clean. But when I was getting 2.25 and hour, I felt no guilt leaning.

And the dish tank is so filthy I don't want my servers to be splattered with food when I come in in-between rushes.

Where I worked we, at times, had one server playing host and sharing carryout with the bartender. Both had to make salads too. The result was inevitably shiatty service. Restaurants often don't think about stepping on dollars to pick up dimes.
 
2021-04-11 5:06:23 PM  
Purina Dog Chow factory, dishwasher, mattress stacker, fiberglass insulation installer, roofer, mover, painter, carpenter, mechanic.
The last twenty years mostly working as the third man on a three man crew- the micromanaging GC who spends longer specifying how something should be done than it takes to do it.  The overly helpful #2, a slow-working hippie who also can't be stopped from telling me in excruciating detail how to do what I know how to do.
Every time I break out, they drag me back in.
 
2021-04-11 5:35:39 PM  
For me, it's a real close tie between a telemarketing job where I set up appointments for people to be hard sold on vacuums they couldn't afford, and the three weeks I spent meeting with my friends' parents and current mentors to sell them knives.

Telemarketing wins out only because, as the only regular "setter" who had a vehicle and wasn't either currently incarcerated or on an ankle monitor, I would also frequently get called on to drop everyone off back to the prison and halfway house to drop the detainees off at the end of shift, or to drive our top salesperson, who always had his license suspended, to whatever far flung territory we'd be war dialing the next couple weeks, so he could hole up at some fleabag motel. I also worked briefly as the floor manager at one point not based on my performance, but because I was the only person at the time who didn't have a curfew back to the halfway house or detention center, which meant I was the only person who could wait around for the last sales appt of the evening to end, no matter when it was, to finalize reports for our branch manager to fax to the next level of the giant pyramid scheme, which often meant hanging up the phone at 8:50 PM, dropping off my more freedom-impaired coworkers, and then going back to the office and waiting until 9:30 or 10:00 PM while the manager was trying valiantly to find a way to finance a $2,500 vacuum for someone who was probably routinely denied cell phone contracts.
 
2021-04-11 5:40:02 PM  
My worst job was at a summer job at a meat processing and packing plant when I was in undergrad. I wasn't involved with the slaughtering bit but they also did everything downstream...sausages, meatloaf, petfood, all of it. It was smelly, moist, occasionally dangerous and mostly horrible.
The best thing was that the Sunday before my first day on the job, I was doing hot knives with buddies and got so stoned I managed to put my hand on the glowing red spiral element and burned the shirt out of my hand. Spiral burn marks on fingers and palm. My job was to squeeze the excess fatty, cold meat out the end of the sausages as they were filled. My hands were immersed in soothing cold animal fat all day. Really helped the pain and healing.
Other than that it was crap.
Still have a wee scar on a couple of fingers...
Bad times, bad times
 
2021-04-11 6:23:47 PM  

mattgsx: For me, it's a real close tie between a telemarketing job where I set up appointments for people to be hard sold on vacuums they couldn't afford, and the three weeks I spent meeting with my friends' parents and current mentors to sell them knives.

Telemarketing wins out only because, as the only regular "setter" who had a vehicle and wasn't either currently incarcerated or on an ankle monitor, I would also frequently get called on to drop everyone off back to the prison and halfway house to drop the detainees off at the end of shift, or to drive our top salesperson, who always had his license suspended, to whatever far flung territory we'd be war dialing the next couple weeks, so he could hole up at some fleabag motel. I also worked briefly as the floor manager at one point not based on my performance, but because I was the only person at the time who didn't have a curfew back to the halfway house or detention center, which meant I was the only person who could wait around for the last sales appt of the evening to end, no matter when it was, to finalize reports for our branch manager to fax to the next level of the giant pyramid scheme, which often meant hanging up the phone at 8:50 PM, dropping off my more freedom-impaired coworkers, and then going back to the office and waiting until 9:30 or 10:00 PM while the manager was trying valiantly to find a way to finance a $2,500 vacuum for someone who was probably routinely denied cell phone contracts.


Not so CSB from telemarketing - "Jon", the top salesperson, was perpetually stuck in the "train the trainer" stage of this MLMs path to opening his own branch due to his constant legal troubles, and as a result was usually the one running the Thursday cattle call "interviews". I'd usually hop off the phone and come in during these in case there was anyone who could clearly sell, but couldn't be a salesperson for some reason (lack of insurance or a past conviction that made them not able to be bonded were the most frequent).

During prescreening at one such interview, while he was going through qualifications (vehicle and valid license, proof of insurance, must be able to be bonded) he was asked by a woman what it meant to be able to be bonded (not an unusual question). Jon answered, as he usually did "Like, you've never been busted selling crack or something", to which someone else loudly exclaimed "Dude, fark that", pushed off his chair, and stormed out the room.
 
2021-04-11 6:33:38 PM  

lonomoholo: My worst job was at a summer job at a meat processing and packing plant when I was in undergrad. I wasn't involved with the slaughtering bit but they also did everything downstream...sausages, meatloaf, petfood, all of it. It was smelly, moist, occasionally dangerous and mostly horrible.
The best thing was that the Sunday before my first day on the job, I was doing hot knives with buddies and got so stoned I managed to put my hand on the glowing red spiral element and burned the shirt out of my hand. Spiral burn marks on fingers and palm. My job was to squeeze the excess fatty, cold meat out the end of the sausages as they were filled. My hands were immersed in soothing cold animal fat all day. Really helped the pain and healing.
Other than that it was crap.
Still have a wee scar on a couple of fingers...
Bad times, bad times


My wife worked in a shoe factory one summer. Always over 100 in there -- there was glue or something that needed the heat in order to cure. So, even early in the morning it was an oven w/ dizzying, toxic fumes that should have been illegal even +50 years ago.
 
2021-04-11 6:44:14 PM  
Taste tester at a sperm bank.
 
2021-04-11 7:02:15 PM  
Mine would be cutting fire wood, 3 cords a day, cut, split and delivered. It was hot and dirty, but I was in good shape that summer.
 
2021-04-11 7:55:11 PM  

Billy Bathsalt: Purina Dog Chow factory, dishwasher, mattress stacker, fiberglass insulation installer, roofer, mover, painter, carpenter, mechanic.
The last twenty years mostly working as the third man on a three man crew- the micromanaging GC who spends longer specifying how something should be done than it takes to do it.  The overly helpful #2, a slow-working hippie who also can't be stopped from telling me in excruciating detail how to do what I know how to do.
Every time I break out, they drag me back in.


So, you run fark.com?...
 
2021-04-12 9:26:14 AM  
Pussies.

The Most Unpleasant Careers Of The Middle Ages | Worst Jobs In History | Timeline
Youtube 9JaxlCjuzqE


(The whole series is excellent).
 
2021-04-12 9:28:58 AM  

LewDux: "imagine being the alarm clock"

I'm not a ding a long


Perhaps, but I ding-a-dang-dong my dang-a-long ling-long......
 
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