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(MSN)   Giant pet tortoise on the run after escaping Kansas home. Figured the neighbor's lettuce would be ready by the time he got there   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, National Wildlife Federation, Turtle, Tortoise, Reptile, Plastron, Worry, Turtles, Geochelone  
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1172 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Apr 2021 at 9:30 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-04-10 6:03:42 PM  
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FTA: "Desert sarcodes tortoises can reach 150 years old, Bahri said. If Madmartigan is returned safely, he intends to one day pass her down to his children."

That really would/will be cool to pass your pet down to your kids,
knowing it's still in the prime of its life and will be their buddy for years too.
 
2021-04-10 7:22:47 PM  
The thing about turtles is...

Once their turtle brain decides to do something...they are going to do it or die trying. That's why you see so many turtles crossing roads.
 
2021-04-10 7:49:28 PM  
The turtle moves.
 
2021-04-10 9:35:51 PM  
But where is Leon? Why is he not helping?
 
2021-04-10 9:37:19 PM  
"I dwell in darkness without you and YOU RAN AWAY?"
 
2021-04-10 9:38:16 PM  
Probably should mount a Tile tag to its shell.
 
2021-04-10 9:38:26 PM  
It's a giant tortoise. Can't you attach a beacon or a siren to it?
 
2021-04-10 9:41:17 PM  
It's trying to reach Tir Asleen.
 
2021-04-10 9:41:32 PM  

elvisaintdead: [Fark user image 360x308]

FTA: "Desert sarcodes tortoises can reach 150 years old, Bahri said. If Madmartigan is returned safely, he intends to one day pass her down to his children."

That really would/will be cool to pass your pet down to your kids,
knowing it's still in the prime of its life and will be their buddy for years too.


I didn't know Willow was real life.
 
2021-04-10 9:42:13 PM  
I had a small man-made pond in my backyard for turtles.  No matter how well I thought I had made it escape-proof eventually one of the little buggers would wander off.  Lost one for a couple of months until I found it in a fountain pond next door.

//not giant tortoises, just regular turtles.
 
2021-04-10 9:54:49 PM  
who the fark names their (female) tortoise Madmartigan? weirdos.

hope they get her back, i bet she's hungry.
 
2021-04-10 9:56:04 PM  

haknudsen: I had a small man-made pond in my backyard for turtles.  No matter how well I thought I had made it escape-proof eventually one of the little buggers would wander off.  Lost one for a couple of months until I found it in a fountain pond next door.

//not giant tortoises, just regular turtles.


Now I have the Turtle Fence song from Auto-Tune the News stuck in my head, thanks.

/Could be worse.
 
2021-04-10 10:01:29 PM  

Fano: But where is Leon? Why is he not helping?


Coulson and Simmons Get Busted By Agent Sousa - Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Youtube -KBhlVmwp0M

Srsly worth the click broh.
 
2021-04-10 10:04:02 PM  
How does a turtle run away? If you keep daily tabs on it, it is not going to get very far. Only way I can see it running away is if you just left it to its self for a few months, then went to check on it and it was gone.

Reminds me of one of my friends. He said that his stepfather ate his pet turtle and then claimed that it ran away while he was at school.
 
2021-04-10 10:30:04 PM  
Tortoises are surprisingly mobile.
 
2021-04-10 10:45:20 PM  
Tortoise On The Run is the name of my Paul McCartney and Wings cover band.
 
2021-04-10 10:48:29 PM  

iheartscotch: The thing about turtles is...

Once their turtle brain decides to do something...they are going to do it or die trying. That's why you see so many turtles crossing roads.


I thought it was because they were stapled to chickens.

/why yes I am in middle school
/mentally
 
2021-04-10 10:49:50 PM  

AbuHashish: It's a giant tortoise. Can't you attach a beacon or a siren to it?


or a skateboard

/not helping?
//maybe not helping You
 
2021-04-10 10:50:59 PM  

luna1580: who the fark names their (female) tortoise Madmartigan? weirdos.

hope they get her back, i bet she's hungry.


why not?
 
2021-04-10 11:03:57 PM  
CSB:  A while ago, we had this story in our neighborhood where a 140+ year old desert tortoise got away from its home.

A couple of months later, it was found half a mile away from its home, just in time to return and go into hibernation.  Summer escape, baby!

CSB2:  My old office had a turtle pond with (back them) 4 tortoises (not sure what kind - about a foot across).  One early morning (Sunday, fortunately), one of them was caught crossing the expressway outside the campus.  Turned out he was already famous for his exploits, and the keeper (our facilities manager) had already named him Steve McQueen.   This was his fourth escape.
 
2021-04-10 11:04:31 PM  

the voice of raisin: luna1580: who the fark names their (female) tortoise Madmartigan? weirdos.

hope they get her back, i bet she's hungry.

why not?


a pet's name is something one says over and over and over, and then says some more. "Madmartigan" is a tounge-twister i can barely say once.......

(my turtles are named tank, tiny, dozer, and bandit)
 
2021-04-10 11:06:20 PM  

suid: CSB:  A while ago, we had this story in our neighborhood where a 140+ year old desert tortoise got away from its home.

A couple of months later, it was found half a mile away from its home, just in time to return and go into hibernation.  Summer escape, baby!

CSB2:  My old office had a turtle pond with (back them) 4 tortoises (not sure what kind - about a foot across).  One early morning (Sunday, fortunately), one of them was caught crossing the expressway outside the campus.  Turned out he was already famous for his exploits, and the keeper (our facilities manager) had already named him Steve McQueen.   This was his fourth escape.


why were the terrestrial torts in an aquatic turtle pond? and they were never allowed to leave the pond? how were they supposed to breed?
 
2021-04-10 11:17:59 PM  
What, no WIllow jokes?!
 
2021-04-10 11:39:23 PM  

luna1580: suid: CSB:  A while ago, we had this story in our neighborhood where a 140+ year old desert tortoise got away from its home.

A couple of months later, it was found half a mile away from its home, just in time to return and go into hibernation.  Summer escape, baby!

CSB2:  My old office had a turtle pond with (back them) 4 tortoises (not sure what kind - about a foot across).  One early morning (Sunday, fortunately), one of them was caught crossing the expressway outside the campus.  Turned out he was already famous for his exploits, and the keeper (our facilities manager) had already named him Steve McQueen.   This was his fourth escape.

why were the terrestrial torts in an aquatic turtle pond? and they were never allowed to leave the pond? how were they supposed to breed?


It's a whole terrarium with rocks, bushes, and other areas where they can sun themselves. And water. With a short wall at the edges to prevent them from going walkabout.  But Mr McQueen has figured out all the spots where he can climb on top of rocks, other turtles, etc., to get out.  And is smart enough to attempt it only at night.

pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-10 11:40:50 PM  
 
2021-04-11 12:17:20 AM  
Something . . . Escaped...in Kansas... CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON! THERE'LL be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more!
 
2021-04-11 12:21:32 AM  

luna1580: the voice of raisin: luna1580: who the fark names their (female) tortoise Madmartigan? weirdos.

hope they get her back, i bet she's hungry.

why not?

a pet's name is something one says over and over and over, and then says some more. "Madmartigan" is a tounge-twister i can barely say once.......

(my turtles are named tank, tiny, dozer, and bandit)


who yells at a turtle?

it's not exactly gonna come bounding over the hillside at the sound of its name
 
2021-04-11 12:35:48 AM  

Bennie Crabtree: What, no WIllow jokes?!


After I got the Blade Runner joke out of the way I went straight for Willow
 
2021-04-11 12:40:24 AM  
My uncle had a tortoise. Probably 6lbs or so.
It was super cool until that time I was left to watch it out back and I accidently left it wander away. Was never seen again.

/7yroldmehadnoattentionspan
//What?
 
2021-04-11 12:50:41 AM  

G-Ride: Tortoises are surprisingly mobile.


True dis.  They can move surprisingly fast when motivated.
 
2021-04-11 1:37:08 AM  

iheartscotch: The thing about turtles is...

Once their turtle brain decides to do something...they are going to do it or die trying. That's why you see so many turtles crossing roads.


Some years ago I spotted a turtle crossing the road. So I pulled over with the idea of picking him up and completing the journey for him before another motorist hit him. Was riding a motorcycle and was wearing full gear, including gauntlet gloves. Thing is, this asshole turtle snapped my forearm. Even through the gloves, which are designed to survive accidents, didn't help much against this asshole turtle. I was just trying to help!

F*cking jerk. I tossed him to the woods on the other side, but I should have just have left his ass there to be hit by the next passing truck.
 
2021-04-11 1:47:23 AM  

dickfreckle: iheartscotch: The thing about turtles is...

Once their turtle brain decides to do something...they are going to do it or die trying. That's why you see so many turtles crossing roads.

Some years ago I spotted a turtle crossing the road. So I pulled over with the idea of picking him up and completing the journey for him before another motorist hit him. Was riding a motorcycle and was wearing full gear, including gauntlet gloves. Thing is, this asshole turtle snapped my forearm. Even through the gloves, which are designed to survive accidents, didn't help much against this asshole turtle. I was just trying to help!

F*cking jerk. I tossed him to the woods on the other side, but I should have just have left his ass there to be hit by the next passing truck.


Wild animals are amazingly ungrateful for human assistance.
I blame Disney.
 
2021-04-11 8:53:33 AM  

iheartscotch: The thing about turtles is...

Once their turtle brain decides to do something...they are going to do it or die trying. That's why you see so many turtles crossing roads.


Moscow Mitch is upset by trumps "dumb son of a biatch" statement yesterday.
 
2021-04-11 2:05:48 PM  

ongbok: How does a turtle run away? If you keep daily tabs on it, it is not going to get very far. Only way I can see it running away is if you just left it to its self for a few months, then went to check on it and it was gone.

Reminds me of one of my friends. He said that his stepfather ate his pet turtle and then claimed that it ran away while he was at school.


Actually, Imagine moving a couple of feet an hour.  Combine that with its natural camouflage and in half a day it can be almost anywhere in a normal size yard.  Just because they move slow doesn't mean they can't move for hours.
 
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