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(MSN)   LA Sheriff says Tiger Woods rollover accident due to gritty reboot of Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock action film   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Repeat, Tiger Woods, Masters Tournament, Golf, Official World Golf Rankings, California's 46th congressional district, United States, Orange County, California, Sheriff  
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1829 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2021 at 8:16 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-04-07 8:19:13 PM  
15 votes:
occ-0-299-300.1.nflxso.netView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:43:53 PM  
11 votes:
gritty reboot

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 3:57:00 PM  
11 votes:
He probably would have been fine if he had just used...

::puts on sunglasses::

Cruise Control.

/yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
 
2021-04-07 8:19:18 PM  
10 votes:

Karma Chameleon: Tiger was taking speed? I thought he was more of an ambien and oxy guy.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:27:36 PM  
9 votes:
The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.
 
2021-04-07 8:31:03 PM  
8 votes:
We may have to put him down.  Once a tiger can't hunt it's normal prey of Perkin's waitresses, it'll turn to easier targets.  Like Farkers or even 4Chans.
 
2021-04-07 7:32:22 PM  
8 votes:
Accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the break pedal....?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 9:10:15 PM  
7 votes:
Jesus Christ, it's a tiger!  Get away from the car!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:17:27 PM  
7 votes:
Tiger was taking speed? I thought he was more of an ambien and oxy guy.
 
2021-04-07 9:25:30 PM  
5 votes:

Short Victoria's War: Jesus Christ, it's a tiger!  Get away from the car! [Fark user image 445x284]


I want a bumper sticker that says: "Toonces, take the wheel" with one of those Christian fish decals to be silly
 
2021-04-07 9:16:10 PM  
5 votes:

TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.


Are you saying Asians cant drive or are you saying black people cant drive?
 
2021-04-07 8:28:51 PM  
5 votes:

ArkAngel: Let's go blow this guy


Wow, aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?

We haven't even gotten a single tip.
 
2021-04-07 8:28:01 PM  
5 votes:
I'm pretty sure Mother was actually responsible for the crash after slipping Tiger a roofie
Fark user imageView Full Size
/yes, that's Bill Cosby
 
2021-04-07 8:25:43 PM  
5 votes:
Let's go blow this guy
 
2021-04-07 11:15:34 PM  
4 votes:

Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice


Look on the bright side. He got white celeb treatment. That's progress.
 
2021-04-07 8:33:54 PM  
4 votes:

ArkAngel: Let's go blow this guy


Yeah. He really licked his ass!
 
2021-04-07 8:56:15 PM  
3 votes:

MarciusDecimus: Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice

I acknowledge Tiger has 300-400 times my net worth. He is famous, and amazing at what he does.

But, you know what? in my opinion I would not replace my life with his. I have a stable loving marriage with the same person for over 25 years. I had a father and mother who love me unconditionally and let me explore who I was and become who I wanted to be. Those few around me I call friends, are true friends who want nothing from me but my friendship.  I am secure and able to enjoy my life.

I cannot have lexuses and rolls royces, or 4 million dollar engagement rings, or a 7,000 dollar suit, or stay in 10,000 a night luxury suites.. but if there is anything normal I want, i am lucky enough to be able to have it. I can truly say i want for nothing.

He may sleep on piles of money and have access to as much strange he want wants, but I do not for one moment think he is as happy as me.

I have been absolutely blessed and lucky to have what i have. I worked hard, but i started on 1st base with a good lead off. I recognize that. I know it is easy to say money cannot buy happiness when you have it, but I would never want his life and I am willing to bet above 50/50 odds, he would rather have a life like mine in the end.

When it is just you in the darkness, and all you have is your thoughts, there is no lying.

Celeb justice still happens, just not in the way we think.


Well, you managed to make this about you. So... Good job, I guess?
 
2021-04-07 8:49:04 PM  
3 votes:

imauniter: Should have taken xanax instead.


I've been cruising the thread looking for an attack but...

Xanax zombies demand special attention. They are the useless scum that barely provide for society and will probably be overall be a drain.

Worst drug ever.

At least take a drug that makes your dick hard while easing your social anxiety. You pussies! Just kidding.

Xanax is a dead end. Learn to appreciate some decent whiskey. Some hide it very well but everyone has social anxiety. Do not shut down your defense. Your ancestors provided you with the possibility to survive until you procreate. Do not waste it by becoming a Xanax zombie.

We are living in the Nirvana of the agoraphobe. What good can come from hiding from the fear?
 
2021-04-07 8:29:47 PM  
3 votes:
Caused by speed.  And he was also going too fast.
 
2021-04-07 8:20:13 PM  
3 votes:
Should have taken xanax instead.
 
2021-04-07 11:20:49 PM  
2 votes:

Gooch: Woods probably paid for the next 10 policemen's balls


So... 20 balls then?
 
2021-04-07 9:37:31 PM  
2 votes:

Vtimlin: TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.

Are you saying Asians cant drive or are you saying black people cant drive?


Insert whynotboth.jpg
 
2021-04-07 8:31:20 PM  
2 votes:
Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.
 
2021-04-07 8:30:10 PM  
2 votes:
It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said.

Bill-f*cking-sh*t. I'm sure that SUV is quick, but not "I inadvertently hit the accelerator, and the car jumped from 45 to 75 in a split second" fast.
I've inadvertently hit the accelerator before, but the car accelerates maybe 2-3mph before I lift my foot.
How much more will the police protect Tiger?
 
2021-04-07 8:28:35 PM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-08 12:39:44 AM  
1 vote:

mchaboud: Gooch: Woods probably paid for the next 10 policemen's balls

So... 20 balls then?


Are they secret policemen's balls?
 
2021-04-07 11:50:29 PM  
1 vote:
Probably running late, speeding and texting the people he was meeting that morning.
 
2021-04-07 11:38:30 PM  
1 vote:

TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.


Yes, but we're not talking about his golf game.
 
2021-04-07 11:13:17 PM  
1 vote:

TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.


He should take a softer approach to travel and just putt around town after being layed up like this.
 
2021-04-07 9:05:58 PM  
1 vote:

neilbradley: "It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said."

I'm calling BS on that. A 300-360HP 4600 pound SUV will takes several seconds to accelerate from 45 to 75 even when floored - far more than enough time to take one's foot off the gas when they realize they hit the wrong pedal. More likely he was just driving too fast in the first place. And if he's incapable of knowing the difference between the brakes and gas, he shouldn't be allowed to drive.


Well, yeah. He was high and meant to hit the brakes. Instead, he hit the gas. Oops. He really meant to hit the brakes. No further questions.
 
2021-04-07 9:01:56 PM  
1 vote:

HighlanderRPI: Accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the break pedal....?

[Fark user image image 497x280]


farmers market

/9 mile left blinker
 
2021-04-07 8:54:19 PM  
1 vote:

MarciusDecimus: Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.


Worst. Revolt. Ever.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:52:49 PM  
1 vote:
You wonder if he was playing the song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in his head and really, really got wound up in the moment for just a second..?
 
2021-04-07 8:52:10 PM  
1 vote:
I called it a long time ago, stuck behind a minivan and he blew the pass.
 
2021-04-07 8:49:40 PM  
1 vote:

Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice


I acknowledge Tiger has 300-400 times my net worth. He is famous, and amazing at what he does.

But, you know what? in my opinion I would not replace my life with his. I have a stable loving marriage with the same person for over 25 years. I had a father and mother who love me unconditionally and let me explore who I was and become who I wanted to be. Those few around me I call friends, are true friends who want nothing from me but my friendship.  I am secure and able to enjoy my life.

I cannot have lexuses and rolls royces, or 4 million dollar engagement rings, or a 7,000 dollar suit, or stay in 10,000 a night luxury suites.. but if there is anything normal I want, i am lucky enough to be able to have it. I can truly say i want for nothing.

He may sleep on piles of money and have access to as much strange he want wants, but I do not for one moment think he is as happy as me.

I have been absolutely blessed and lucky to have what i have. I worked hard, but i started on 1st base with a good lead off. I recognize that. I know it is easy to say money cannot buy happiness when you have it, but I would never want his life and I am willing to bet above 50/50 odds, he would rather have a life like mine in the end.

When it is just you in the darkness, and all you have is your thoughts, there is no lying.

Celeb justice still happens, just not in the way we think.
 
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