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(MSN)   LA Sheriff says Tiger Woods rollover accident due to gritty reboot of Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock action film   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Repeat, Tiger Woods, Masters Tournament, Golf, Official World Golf Rankings, California's 46th congressional district, United States, Orange County, California, Sheriff  
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1829 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2021 at 8:16 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-04-07 3:57:00 PM  
He probably would have been fine if he had just used...

::puts on sunglasses::

Cruise Control.

/yeeeeeeeeeeeeeah
 
2021-04-07 7:32:22 PM  
Accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the break pedal....?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:17:27 PM  
Tiger was taking speed? I thought he was more of an ambien and oxy guy.
 
2021-04-07 8:19:13 PM  
occ-0-299-300.1.nflxso.netView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:19:18 PM  

Karma Chameleon: Tiger was taking speed? I thought he was more of an ambien and oxy guy.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:20:13 PM  
Should have taken xanax instead.
 
2021-04-07 8:25:43 PM  
Let's go blow this guy
 
2021-04-07 8:27:36 PM  
The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.
 
2021-04-07 8:28:01 PM  
I'm pretty sure Mother was actually responsible for the crash after slipping Tiger a roofie
Fark user imageView Full Size
/yes, that's Bill Cosby
 
2021-04-07 8:28:35 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:28:51 PM  

ArkAngel: Let's go blow this guy


Wow, aren't we getting ahead of ourselves?

We haven't even gotten a single tip.
 
2021-04-07 8:29:47 PM  
Caused by speed.  And he was also going too fast.
 
2021-04-07 8:30:10 PM  
It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said.

Bill-f*cking-sh*t. I'm sure that SUV is quick, but not "I inadvertently hit the accelerator, and the car jumped from 45 to 75 in a split second" fast.
I've inadvertently hit the accelerator before, but the car accelerates maybe 2-3mph before I lift my foot.
How much more will the police protect Tiger?
 
2021-04-07 8:31:03 PM  
We may have to put him down.  Once a tiger can't hunt it's normal prey of Perkin's waitresses, it'll turn to easier targets.  Like Farkers or even 4Chans.
 
2021-04-07 8:31:20 PM  
Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.
 
2021-04-07 8:32:39 PM  
"It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said."

I'm calling BS on that. A 300-360HP 4600 pound SUV will takes several seconds to accelerate from 45 to 75 even when floored - far more than enough time to take one's foot off the gas when they realize they hit the wrong pedal. More likely he was just driving too fast in the first place. And if he's incapable of knowing the difference between the brakes and gas, he shouldn't be allowed to drive.
 
2021-04-07 8:33:51 PM  
It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said.

LOL
the classic excuse, which nobody ever actually does.
For when they want to cover up the crimes of rich people.
 
2021-04-07 8:33:54 PM  

ArkAngel: Let's go blow this guy


Yeah. He really licked his ass!
 
2021-04-07 8:34:15 PM  

pc_gator: [occ-0-299-300.1.nflxso.net image 426x597]


You know how doctors hate it so much when they see anything medical on the screen. As a mailman, that movie was the first time I experienced that.

/Costner's movie is in some MAGA future that only nearly happened, we hope. I give it a pass.
 
2021-04-07 8:35:17 PM  
85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice
 
2021-04-07 8:37:02 PM  
A rich dude driving a luxury SUV? There's no way he WASN'T speeding.
 
2021-04-07 8:39:00 PM  
87 MPH in a 45 MPH zone is both reckless and negligent.

Almost as reckless and negligent as cheating on your smoking hot wife or driving under the influence multiple times.

He lose his license for a year.
 
2021-04-07 8:41:58 PM  

OkieDookie: We may have to put him down.  Once a tiger can't hunt it's normal prey of Perkin's waitresses, it'll turn to easier targets.  Like Farkers or even 4Chans.


Ok Perkin's is probably, maybe, definitely too obscure for FARK.

I can remember the last time I went to a Perkin's and it was a long-ass time ago. And it shut down a long-ass time ago.

Eh. I don't miss it. It was kind of like a sadder version of Shoney's. Holy crap Shoney's was a bit of a dump.

Hey. Anybody in the Alexandria area. Any dive bars or "hole in the wall" joints you want a fella to support that actually has good food? I'm not driving to Arlington so don't bother with that. Woodbridge is too far as well.

/woodbridge is an evil place in my opinion for other reasons
//got out of that peepee soaked heckhole as soon as i could
 
2021-04-07 8:43:53 PM  
gritty reboot

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:49:04 PM  

imauniter: Should have taken xanax instead.


I've been cruising the thread looking for an attack but...

Xanax zombies demand special attention. They are the useless scum that barely provide for society and will probably be overall be a drain.

Worst drug ever.

At least take a drug that makes your dick hard while easing your social anxiety. You pussies! Just kidding.

Xanax is a dead end. Learn to appreciate some decent whiskey. Some hide it very well but everyone has social anxiety. Do not shut down your defense. Your ancestors provided you with the possibility to survive until you procreate. Do not waste it by becoming a Xanax zombie.

We are living in the Nirvana of the agoraphobe. What good can come from hiding from the fear?
 
2021-04-07 8:49:40 PM  

Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice


I acknowledge Tiger has 300-400 times my net worth. He is famous, and amazing at what he does.

But, you know what? in my opinion I would not replace my life with his. I have a stable loving marriage with the same person for over 25 years. I had a father and mother who love me unconditionally and let me explore who I was and become who I wanted to be. Those few around me I call friends, are true friends who want nothing from me but my friendship.  I am secure and able to enjoy my life.

I cannot have lexuses and rolls royces, or 4 million dollar engagement rings, or a 7,000 dollar suit, or stay in 10,000 a night luxury suites.. but if there is anything normal I want, i am lucky enough to be able to have it. I can truly say i want for nothing.

He may sleep on piles of money and have access to as much strange he want wants, but I do not for one moment think he is as happy as me.

I have been absolutely blessed and lucky to have what i have. I worked hard, but i started on 1st base with a good lead off. I recognize that. I know it is easy to say money cannot buy happiness when you have it, but I would never want his life and I am willing to bet above 50/50 odds, he would rather have a life like mine in the end.

When it is just you in the darkness, and all you have is your thoughts, there is no lying.

Celeb justice still happens, just not in the way we think.
 
2021-04-07 8:50:18 PM  

pc_gator: [occ-0-299-300.1.nflxso.net image 426x597]


Wow! This is the gayest movie photo I have ever seen. There are unborn babies, right now, saying gaaaaayyyyy.
 
2021-04-07 8:51:31 PM  

TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:52:10 PM  
I called it a long time ago, stuck behind a minivan and he blew the pass.
 
2021-04-07 8:52:11 PM  
I bet his lawyer was on scene before the cops.
 
2021-04-07 8:52:49 PM  
You wonder if he was playing the song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in his head and really, really got wound up in the moment for just a second..?
 
2021-04-07 8:52:50 PM  

Bovine Diarrhea Virus: It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said.

Bill-f*cking-sh*t. I'm sure that SUV is quick, but not "I inadvertently hit the accelerator, and the car jumped from 45 to 75 in a split second" fast.
I've inadvertently hit the accelerator before, but the car accelerates maybe 2-3mph before I lift my foot.
How much more will the police protect Tiger?


Why are you so racist?
 
2021-04-07 8:54:19 PM  

MarciusDecimus: Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.


Worst. Revolt. Ever.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 8:55:44 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: MarciusDecimus: Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.

Worst. Revolt. Ever.
[Fark user image 192x144]


lol, that was a good one. I genuinely laughed out loud.
 
2021-04-07 8:56:15 PM  

MarciusDecimus: Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice

I acknowledge Tiger has 300-400 times my net worth. He is famous, and amazing at what he does.

But, you know what? in my opinion I would not replace my life with his. I have a stable loving marriage with the same person for over 25 years. I had a father and mother who love me unconditionally and let me explore who I was and become who I wanted to be. Those few around me I call friends, are true friends who want nothing from me but my friendship.  I am secure and able to enjoy my life.

I cannot have lexuses and rolls royces, or 4 million dollar engagement rings, or a 7,000 dollar suit, or stay in 10,000 a night luxury suites.. but if there is anything normal I want, i am lucky enough to be able to have it. I can truly say i want for nothing.

He may sleep on piles of money and have access to as much strange he want wants, but I do not for one moment think he is as happy as me.

I have been absolutely blessed and lucky to have what i have. I worked hard, but i started on 1st base with a good lead off. I recognize that. I know it is easy to say money cannot buy happiness when you have it, but I would never want his life and I am willing to bet above 50/50 odds, he would rather have a life like mine in the end.

When it is just you in the darkness, and all you have is your thoughts, there is no lying.

Celeb justice still happens, just not in the way we think.


Well, you managed to make this about you. So... Good job, I guess?
 
2021-04-07 8:56:40 PM  
The cause of the accident: Bad Driving.
 
2021-04-07 8:56:43 PM  
Why is Smelly Cat always such a dick? He could have killed not only himself (small loss) but he could have taken out another car or two while he was at it!
 
2021-04-07 8:57:07 PM  

MarciusDecimus: StoPPeRmobile: MarciusDecimus: Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.

Worst. Revolt. Ever.
[Fark user image 192x144]

lol, that was a good one. I genuinely laughed out loud.


that is meant in a good way, not being sarcastic. I thought your response was witty and apropos. Communication can be hard on the interwebs.
 
2021-04-07 8:57:50 PM  

Begoggle: It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said.

LOL
the classic excuse, which nobody ever actually does.
For when they want to cover up the crimes of rich people.


media.vanityfair.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 9:01:15 PM  

chitownmike: MarciusDecimus: Leader O'Cola: 85 in a 45 and a past "incident"

Yet no blood draw....

Celeb justice

I acknowledge Tiger has 300-400 times my net worth. He is famous, and amazing at what he does.

But, you know what? in my opinion I would not replace my life with his. I have a stable loving marriage with the same person for over 25 years. I had a father and mother who love me unconditionally and let me explore who I was and become who I wanted to be. Those few around me I call friends, are true friends who want nothing from me but my friendship.  I am secure and able to enjoy my life.

I cannot have lexuses and rolls royces, or 4 million dollar engagement rings, or a 7,000 dollar suit, or stay in 10,000 a night luxury suites.. but if there is anything normal I want, i am lucky enough to be able to have it. I can truly say i want for nothing.

He may sleep on piles of money and have access to as much strange he want wants, but I do not for one moment think he is as happy as me.

I have been absolutely blessed and lucky to have what i have. I worked hard, but i started on 1st base with a good lead off. I recognize that. I know it is easy to say money cannot buy happiness when you have it, but I would never want his life and I am willing to bet above 50/50 odds, he would rather have a life like mine in the end.

When it is just you in the darkness, and all you have is your thoughts, there is no lying.

Celeb justice still happens, just not in the way we think.

Well, you managed to make this about you. So... Good job, I guess?


Well, our own lives are about ourselves. Our experiences are the touchstone by which we gauge the world around us. So, yeah, when someone said this was all about selective celeb justice implying he got away without his just desserts, I related it to my own experience to suggest maybe he did not. Guilty as charged.
 
2021-04-07 9:01:56 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the break pedal....?

[Fark user image image 497x280]


farmers market

/9 mile left blinker
 
2021-04-07 9:03:43 PM  

MarciusDecimus: Total and utter BS he is not cited. I got cited for skidding out, on wet pavement, hitting NO ONE, and causing less than 500 property damage (besides my car damage)  while driving below the speed limit

But, ted kennedy involuntarily murdered a woman, OJ voluntarily murdered a woman, trump incited a revolt against the nation and they all got a pass... so....

I give this one a pass.


I can smell the poor from here.
 
2021-04-07 9:04:48 PM  

neilbradley: "It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said."

I'm calling BS on that. A 300-360HP 4600 pound SUV will takes several seconds to accelerate from 45 to 75 even when floored - far more than enough time to take one's foot off the gas when they realize they hit the wrong pedal. More likely he was just driving too fast in the first place. And if he's incapable of knowing the difference between the brakes and gas, he shouldn't be allowed to drive.


This happens more than you think. NHTSA has a whole white paper on it. "Pedal Application Errors". Fark won't let me link to it, just google NHTSA Pedal Application Errors.

A victim does not realize they are pressing the wrong pedal. They believe they are on the brake. As the car accelerates they press even harder, compounding the problem. Panic sets in, the leg becomes basically locked in place and unable to move. A crash is no more than a couple of seconds away - not enough time to realize the issue.

Anyway, give the that paper a skim. It's interesting.
 
2021-04-07 9:05:58 PM  

neilbradley: "It's believed that Woods inadvertently hit the accelerator instead of the brake, Capt. James Powers said."

I'm calling BS on that. A 300-360HP 4600 pound SUV will takes several seconds to accelerate from 45 to 75 even when floored - far more than enough time to take one's foot off the gas when they realize they hit the wrong pedal. More likely he was just driving too fast in the first place. And if he's incapable of knowing the difference between the brakes and gas, he shouldn't be allowed to drive.


Well, yeah. He was high and meant to hit the brakes. Instead, he hit the gas. Oops. He really meant to hit the brakes. No further questions.
 
2021-04-07 9:09:37 PM  

TheDirtyNacho: This happens more than you think. NHTSA has a whole white paper on it.


When will the farking NHTSA do something about these new headlights that blind me at night?

Seriously, am I just old, or are headlights WAY too bright on new cars???
 
2021-04-07 9:10:15 PM  
Jesus Christ, it's a tiger!  Get away from the car!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 9:12:35 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: imauniter: Should have taken xanax instead.

I've been cruising the thread looking for an attack but...

Xanax zombies demand special attention. They are the useless scum that barely provide for society and will probably be overall be a drain.

Worst drug ever.

At least take a drug that makes your dick hard while easing your social anxiety. You pussies! Just kidding.

Xanax is a dead end. Learn to appreciate some decent whiskey. Some hide it very well but everyone has social anxiety. Do not shut down your defense. Your ancestors provided you with the possibility to survive until you procreate. Do not waste it by becoming a Xanax zombie.

We are living in the Nirvana of the agoraphobe. What good can come from hiding from the fear?


Jokes on you.
I take halcion.
 
2021-04-07 9:16:10 PM  

TwilightZone: The truth is Tiger is a lousy driver.


Are you saying Asians cant drive or are you saying black people cant drive?
 
2021-04-07 9:16:32 PM  

vernonFL: TheDirtyNacho: This happens more than you think. NHTSA has a whole white paper on it.

When will the farking NHTSA do something about these new headlights that blind me at night?

Seriously, am I just old, or are headlights WAY too bright on new cars???


It's that DNA juice the government is spreading around through the food chain.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-04-07 9:24:34 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the break pedal....?


Happens all the time with old people. It's the cause of the Toyota problems with unintended acceleration: When you graph the accidents by age group, it's like a hockey stick chart that sharply trends upwards after age 55. It was caused by old people stepping on the accelerator pedal and swore they were stepping on the brake pedal.
 
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