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(wsoctv.com)   Man weighing 280 pounds finds female intruder in home. Tackles and sits on her until police arrive.   ( wsoctv.com) divider line
    More: Hero  
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24002 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Sep 2004 at 1:30 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

127 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-09-17 01:57:03 PM  

[image from geocities.com too old to be available]

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me.
I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.
I love to hear you oralize,
When I'm between your thighs;
You blow me away!

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you.
I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.
Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine,
And we'll sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play,
'Till we're blown away!
2004-09-17 01:59:29 PM  
China_Vagina wrote:
Lose some weight, you walrus.

Eggman not available for comment.
2004-09-17 01:59:40 PM  
Thin may be in, but
Fat is where it's at!
2004-09-17 02:01:39 PM  
Pity he didn't stand on her face.
2004-09-17 02:02:12 PM  
Chuck Roddy

148 pounds at 6'2? Are they farking insane? I weighed 152 when I was 19, running 10-11 miles a day, with 2% body fat. That was not even close to healthy. I looked like a skeleton. Beyond that, I was competing nationally in the 10k, which is about as good a weightloss program as it is possible to get. You can't set the scale there! The only way I could have weighed 148 is if I lost muscle mass.

They need to get a freaking clue.
2004-09-17 02:02:31 PM  
I would have taken her to my basement and gotten medieval on her ass.
2004-09-17 02:08:56 PM  
6'0 and 112 pounds :)
2004-09-17 02:09:05 PM  
Geez. The Hero tag sure has dropped it's standard. All it takes is to be a fat-assed-lazy-bastard now?

That'd make most Americans hero's...

2004-09-17 02:10:51 PM  
yeah, that 148 does sound low.

Then again, there's differnet scales based on frame, and 148 is the lowest a small frame man would be considered healthy. For a large frame, the low end is about 160.
Here's another site :


This chart's a little harder to read, though it shows the "small frame" scale.
2004-09-17 02:11:51 PM  
I would have taken her to my basement and gotten medieval on her ass.

You'd better wait til Zed gets there.
2004-09-17 02:11:54 PM  
"...After 20 minutes of sitting and yelling, a neighbor called 911..."

Ya operator, there's a fat guy on his front lawn tea-bagging some skinny broad.
2004-09-17 02:12:13 PM  
6'2" 195. I cant really lose weight, I'm already too skinny. Those people who made the charts are on crack.
2004-09-17 02:14:26 PM  
5'11, 155, and my doc tells me i'm overweight. farking docs dont have an idea what's going on
2004-09-17 02:15:58 PM  
He shoulda "worked something out" with her. And then turned her in anyway afterwards.

That's what I woulda done, but that's just me. :-D
2004-09-17 02:17:00 PM  
I'm 6'0" and weigh about 160, and I'm scrawny. I do have a bit of a gut (tiny bit), but I also have almost no muscle mass. I could use a sammich and 20 minutes on a bowflex, but I'm too undisciplined to exercise unless I can find a fun way to do it. I used to weigh around 200 and was portly until I started playing DDR. ::shrugs::
2004-09-17 02:17:45 PM  
Damn, poot_rootbeer beat me to it...

I too didn't realize how much weight George Michael had put on recently...
2004-09-17 02:18:57 PM  
I'm 6'2" and the least I have ever weighted was 220lbs.

All of my extra weight was between my neck and waist line.

My ass and legs were tight, like a tiger, as Goldmember would say.

Now I am embarrased to say I weigh in the 280lb range.

A friend of mine is also 6'2" and looks sickley at 170 lbs

2004-09-17 02:19:58 PM  
Either I turn you in...or you fark me all night... you choose biotch!
2004-09-17 02:23:09 PM  
"Zed? Maynard. The spider just caught a fly-ette"
2004-09-17 02:24:34 PM  
I'm 6'2" and weigh 250 I don't look fat or have a big belly but I have a large frame.I probablly have more muscle than the average guy as I lift weights regularly and do physical work.You can't just go by a flat chart that says you're X height,you need to be Y weight.
2004-09-17 02:26:48 PM  
5'11", 158lbs, enjoy long walks on the beach...
2004-09-17 02:30:54 PM  
6'2", 235.
I could probably stand to lose about 20 pounds.

The only way I'm getting down to 170 is if I cut off a leg.
2004-09-17 02:31:57 PM  
lol 20 mins.. i wonder if they had a conversation, or just awkword silence..(other than the big man screams)
2004-09-17 02:32:16 PM  
Broktun: I'm 6'2" and the least I have ever weighted was 220lbs.

I hope you were delivered by c-section.
2004-09-17 02:32:57 PM  
Arnold Schwarzenegger's in-season body weight when he was a body builder was 235. So imagine what a guy like the Governater looks like at that height/weight, then imagine someone with an extra 50 pounds of muscle. Or an excessively fat guy.
2004-09-17 02:34:25 PM  
I am 6'2" and weighed 280 at one time. I have lost about 55 pounds since then, but have gone down one pants size.

That is just irritating.
2004-09-17 02:34:42 PM  
Lots of 6'2"rs here... I'll throw in for the Fark statistics.

I weight 195... can go between 185 and 210 and look thin and healthy depending on how much I'm going to the gym. I dunno about the rest of you guys, but I can swing 10 pounds in a month without any drastic lifestyle changes.

Another vote for the people who made the charts were on crack.
2004-09-17 02:34:52 PM  
So he sat on her for 20 minutes before the cops were called. Then he had to sit on her for the time it took for them to get there. That's a long time to just be sitting on someone. I wonder if there was any conversation.

2004-09-17 02:40:48 PM  
I'm 6'3" and weigh 300 lbs. I lost 50 on atkins... then gained 30 back when i got a job as a pizza delivery guy... crazy.
2004-09-17 02:41:38 PM  
I once knew a guy who stood 8'3" and went 720 lbs. That man's name was Bill Brasky. An Bill didn't need to sit on his intruders. Bill kept box of bullets next to the door, but didn't keep any guns. Bill didn't like guns. Bill would just take a bullet, rear back, and throw the bullet right through the body of any intruders.

2004-09-17 02:42:48 PM  
This is a weird thread, everyone talking about how tall/skinny/fat they are.

p4ul13 had it right, there needs to be more mention of the kingpin. Was the woman's name Elektra or was it the Black Cat? Where was Spiderman and The Daredevil during all this?

/comic book geek
2004-09-17 02:44:56 PM  
The real question is.....how the hell did he CATCH her?
2004-09-17 02:46:00 PM  
utter_bastard: I am 6'2" and weighed 280 at one time. I have lost about 55 pounds since then, but have gone down one pants size.

Really? I've lost about 85 pounds (Atkins), and 9 inches from my waist. I guess it depends on where your fat is.
2004-09-17 02:46:04 PM  
Zed's dead, baby.
2004-09-17 02:49:43 PM  
I'm 5'11 and 280. I'm fat :)
2004-09-17 02:49:49 PM  
Why does outlaw women turn me on?
2004-09-17 02:50:08 PM  
The sad thing is he'll likely get sued for false imprisonment, battery or something else for sitting on her. Not that she didn't deserve it, we're just such a litigious society these days.
2004-09-17 02:50:38 PM  
heh...I got all you beat. 6'1, 385lbs. About 50/50 fat and muscle mass, but I guarantee I'm the guy everyone was afraid to fark with in your high school. :P
2004-09-17 02:53:30 PM  
Jeebus, oghma. x_x
2004-09-17 02:54:13 PM  
This story was already posted yesterday, here is a pic of the guy:

[image from whoretoculture.com too old to be available]
2004-09-17 02:56:04 PM  
Why does outlaw women turn me on?

Because you are a grammar outlaw. Fark the rules of subject/verb agreement, you say. And you demand that your womenfolk have the same cavalier attitude.

/just a guess
2004-09-17 02:58:03 PM  
yeah, well, what can I say? I lift weights but I like my cheeseburgers too :)
2004-09-17 02:58:21 PM  
Officer Garcia wins. No contest.


[image from planetwill.jt.org too old to be available]
2004-09-17 02:58:23 PM  

Kurt Russell? WTF?
2004-09-17 03:01:49 PM  
she came in through the bathroom window
protected by a silver spoon
but now she sits alone and wonders
why she didn't rip his balls off

/got nothing
2004-09-17 03:08:35 PM  

Thank you for the Friday laugh!

"Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"
2004-09-17 03:09:55 PM  
While he was sitting on top of her, he should have given her a pinkbelly. Or maybe a purple nurple!
2004-09-17 03:10:27 PM  

Medical recommendation is 148 - 195 lb according to this link:

Dot MD means its a Moldovan web site, so the estimates may be a little skewed considering one meal a day in Moldova is a luxury.
2004-09-17 03:15:04 PM  
get ready to hate me, 6'2" and a buck fifty on a heavy day. usually around 145
2004-09-17 03:17:40 PM  
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
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