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(Wikipedia)   DP is 39 today, and NO, that's not the number of flavors in Dr Pepper ya pervs   (en.wikipedia.org) divider line
    More: Cool, Sprint Cup Series, Danica Patrick, Danica Sue Patrick, Tony Stewart, Indy Racing League, Jeff Gordon, IndyCar Series race, Jimmie Johnson  
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507 clicks; posted to Sports » on 25 Mar 2021 at 11:18 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



21 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2021-03-25 10:08:04 AM  
Who says DP was invented in 1982? I have seen video evidence to the contrary.
 
2021-03-25 10:11:17 AM  
Dr Pepper is perverted? You got some damn weird fetishes.
 
2021-03-25 10:35:58 AM  
Subby must not have heard of Super 8 stag.
 
2021-03-25 10:36:08 AM  
Ah, happy birthday, Princess Crumplefenders...
 
2021-03-25 10:50:29 AM  
I'd let her wreck me:

i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-25 11:37:09 AM  
story i always tell...she was on Adam Carolla podcast 5-6 years ago.  interview wraps and Adam goes, "hey, how's your husband Jim doing?  Tell him I said hi.  I had so much fun with you guys when you took me on a few hot laps at Blah Blah Racetrack, we should all do that again next time you're in town."

".......uh.......Jim's.....doing......​.gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo​d." (that sing-songy, ending on a higher pitch, signalling "i don't really know".  "Uh, Adam, I think I better....get going now.  Mmmkay?"

"Welp, give him my best.  Thanks for coming on the show!"

about a week later, all the sports websites:  "Danica Patrick files for divorce."
 
2021-03-25 11:37:24 AM  
I wonder when Michelle Wie's birthday is?

/relevant
 
2021-03-25 11:40:45 AM  

bloobeary: Dr Pepper is perverted? You got some damn weird fetishes.


external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-03-25 12:15:41 PM  
She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.
 
2021-03-25 12:18:40 PM  

iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.


Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.
 
2021-03-25 12:36:15 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.

Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.


Maybe she shouldn't be driving into walls then.
 
2021-03-25 12:39:47 PM  

Muta: Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.

Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.

Maybe she shouldn't be driving into walls then.


"Go fast, turn right... I mean left, LEFT! LEEEEEFT!" -Dale Earnhardt's last words.
 
2021-03-25 12:47:11 PM  

iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.


No one throws a flag and stops the race if the wall gets a little too close for the more photogenic stars' comfort, though.
 
2021-03-25 12:50:46 PM  

iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.


Oh you sweet summer child.
 
2021-03-25 3:35:05 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.

Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.


So, has she done that?

/I will never get over the PG-rated "extra content" from the GoDaddy commercials.
 
2021-03-25 4:14:49 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.

Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.

So, has she done that?


Danica Patrick's History of Wrecks in NASCAR
• May 13, 2017 at Kansas (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjuf​JM​znq_0)
Patrick is running in the top 15, when a part in Joey Logano's car broke, causing an accident involving them and Aric Almirola. Patrick's car in engulfed in flames, and costing her what would be her first top-15 finish on the season. It was the 3rd time she had wrecked out of a race in a 4-week span.
• May 7, 2017 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaAp​NJ​oekMI)
The week before at Talladega, Patrick was involved in "The Big One." As AJ Allmendinger slid onto his roof, Danica barreled towards the inside wall, making hard contact. The race was won by her boyfriend, Ricky Stenhouse Jr.
• April 24, 2017 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc_y​Lw​2OJq8)
2 weeks before the Talladega wreck, Patrick wrecked after making contact with David Ragan at Bristol, the site of her last top-10 finish.
• Feb. 26, 2017 at Daytona (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0FG​jU​bVE5M)
To start the season at the Daytona 500, Patrick got caught in a multi-car, triggered by Jimmie Johnson and Trevor Bayne. After the wreck, she spoke of her high hopes heading into the race, "It was the funnest 500 I've ever had... it's a real shame because I think we could've been a real contender at the end."
• May 1, 2016 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTBbz​kbxpGg)
Inside the final 10 laps at Talladega, Patrick hits the wall hard as Matt Kenseth flips.
• March 20, 2016 at California (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPki​N9​1Lwxo)
Last year at California, Patrick gets clipped by Kasey Kahne gets airborne after hitting the wall hard. She was later fined $20,000 for walking towards the track to gesture at Kahne's car.
• Feb. 21, 2016 at Daytona (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNSK​6o​vLjtE)
Although she didn't hit the wall, Patrick gets airborne at the Daytona 500 after getting off the track and into the grass.
• Nov. 11, 2012 & March 3, 2013 at Phoenix (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDfO​9Q​NLICg) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN50​p4​5hPDM)
2 wrecks in consecutive Cup races at Phoenix. The first, Patrick is costing to the finish after a wreck with 2 to go, but as cars spin across the finish line, they're unable to avoid Patrick's slow car. 4 months later, Patrick wrecks hard after cutting a tire.
• July 6, 2012 at Daytona (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuIS​dk​vJH_k)
In the XFINITY Series, Patrick had another big hit at Daytona. When moving down the track to avoid the wreck, Patrick gets clipped and hard into the inside wall.
• Feb. 23, 2012 at Daytona (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsDo​RR​OPD_c)
In the qualifying race for the Daytona 500, Patrick had one of the hardest impacts of her career, spinning on the final lap and going into the inside wall, destroying her car.
• Oct. 9, 2010 at California (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi_-​R9​QrV7g)
In her first season in NASCAR, Danica Patrick's car is momentarily airborne in a wreck at California. Patrick wrecked out of 3 of her first 8 races in what is now the XFINITY Series.

And that is just NASCAR she raced Indy cars as well, she is pretty famous for crashing alot.
 
2021-03-25 4:26:29 PM  
Hooker with a Penis:

Follow-up question: How is she not dead?
 
2021-03-25 4:48:18 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.

Hitting a wall at 150-200 MPH in that chair probably feels worse then Brady getting a penalty anytime a lineman farts in is general direction.

So, has she done that?

Danica Patrick's History of Wrecks in NASCAR
• May 13, 2017 at Kansas (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjufJ​Mznq_0)
Patrick is running in the top 15, when a part in Joey Logano's car broke, causing an accident involving them and Aric Almirola. Patrick's car in engulfed in flames, and costing her what would be her first top-15 finish on the season. It was the 3rd time she had wrecked out of a race in a 4-week span.
• May 7, 2017 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jaApN​JoekMI)
The week before at Talladega, Patrick was involved in "The Big One." As AJ Allmendinger slid onto his roof, Danica barreled towards the inside wall, making hard contact. The race was won by her boyfriend, Ricky Stenhouse Jr.
• April 24, 2017 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc_yL​w2OJq8)
2 weeks before the Talladega wreck, Patrick wrecked after making contact with David Ragan at Bristol, the site of her last top-10 finish.
• Feb. 26, 2017 at Daytona (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0FGj​UbVE5M)
To start the season at the Daytona 500, Patrick got caught in a multi-car, triggered by Jimmie Johnson and Trevor Bayne. After the wreck, she spoke of her high hopes heading into the race, "It was the funnest 500 I've ever had... it's a real shame because I think we could've been a real contender at the end."
• May 1, 2016 at Talladega (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTBbz​kbxpGg)
Inside the final 10 laps at Talladega, Patrick hits the wall hard as Matt Kenseth flips.
• March 20, 2016 at California (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPki ...


I know she had a rep for crashing but are her number of crashes per race higher or lower on average than male drivers? I don't know whether she got shiat on just because she was a woman or not.
 
2021-03-25 5:06:56 PM  

WoodyHayes: Hooker with a Penis: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.



I know she had a rep for crashing but are her number of crashes per race higher or lower on average than male drivers? I don't know whether she got shiat on just because she was a woman or not.

Im sure there are guys that had just as many crashes in the same amount of time, but I think the argument is that a man would have been kicked out of the sport long before she was if he did crash that much. Alot of them weren't her fault but still you were in the wrong place on the track for a reason (i.e. not in the front).
 
2021-03-25 9:01:53 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: WoodyHayes: Hooker with a Penis: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Hooker with a Penis: iamskibibitz: She's only 39? She's been retired for a few years, correct? From a sport where you sit in chair. Tom Brady is 43 and still going strong in a sport where a 300# man can jump on his back and flatten him like a tortilla.


I know she had a rep for crashing but are her number of crashes per race higher or lower on average than male drivers? I don't know whether she got shiat on just because she was a woman or not.

Im sure there are guys that had just as many crashes in the same amount of time, but I think the argument is that a man would have been kicked out of the sport long before she was if he did crash that much. Alot of them weren't her fault but still you were in the wrong place on the track for a reason (i.e. not in the front).


I'd hire Danica to drive my car before I hire her then-boyfriend, Ricky Stenhouse.  Even Roush-Fenway had enough of his bullsh*t.
 
2021-03-25 9:07:28 PM  

Hooker with a Penis: Im sure there are guys that had just as many crashes in the same amount of time, but I think the argument is that a man would have been kicked out of the sport long before she was if he did crash that much.


Alright, that is fair.
 
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