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(Slate)   "I'm a stay-at-home mom to a 20-month-old child. My husband introduced him to Baby Shark against my express wishes, and now he's obsessed. My husband thinks my irritation is overblown and hilarious. What can I DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, age-appropriate kids music, day care, hard time, home parent, screaming WANT LADY, COVID-cautious, 2.5-year-old daughter  
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284 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 23 Mar 2021 at 8:18 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-23 7:07:58 AM  
This is what happens when two writers from slate are just shooting the shiat.  One says to the other, man my husband turned on baby shark and now my kid won't stop.

The other is like...really...go...on.  Could you say he did it against your wishes?

I guess?

And would you say that it has turned into a bit of an obsession?

Well I don't know if I would...wait...are we writing a new advice column question?  Oh for sure for sure obsessed and I hate my husband for IT!  What do???
 
2021-03-23 7:31:43 AM  
Teach the kid to call hubby "you god damned shiatstain" and then pretend to find it hilarious.
 
2021-03-23 7:33:05 AM  
Remove any possibility of him having a sibling when he's 29 months (or older). And contrary to popular opinion, that doesn't mean butt stuff.
 
2021-03-23 7:59:04 AM  
Get used to it....i won't watch Beethoven (not that I'd want to in the first place) to this day 20 years later.  I must have watched that stupid movie and Kindergarten Cop 500 times at least back when my kids were little.  Its not a bug, its a feature....

As for husband, if the two of your are real, paybacks are hell.  Get your kid hooked on something equally irritating
 
2021-03-23 8:13:12 AM  

SpaceMonkey-66: Get your kid hooked on something equally irritating


Like actual crack
 
2021-03-23 8:22:31 AM  
For once, the answer is "no butt stuff" and "don't fark the child's father."
 
2021-03-23 8:23:20 AM  
Make him a sammich?
 
2021-03-23 8:24:46 AM  
I just have to hum that tune in a meeting and half the people freak out. Lots of young families around here.
 
2021-03-23 8:32:52 AM  
Remember that this is only the beginning of your auditory hell, and its just going to change every 8-15 months
 
2021-03-23 8:35:25 AM  
What time does your husband wake up to go to work?  Whatever time that is, wake him up two hours early in the following manner:

1) Baby Shark at the loudest possible volume from a boom-box in the bedroom,
2) 5-gallon bucket of ice water dumped on him as soon as he starts to wake up,
3) 10" chef's knife to his throat while he sputters and tries to come to grips with what's happening, then
4) tell him that if he ever pulls that sort of shiat again you won't stop cutting next time.
 
2021-03-23 8:36:20 AM  
A) He'll get tired of it.

2) Break your husband's legs. That'll teach him.
 
2021-03-23 8:38:21 AM  

SpaceMonkey-66: Get used to it....i won't watch Beethoven (not that I'd want to in the first place) to this day 20 years later.  I must have watched that stupid movie and Kindergarten Cop 500 times at least back when my kids were little.  Its not a bug, its a feature....



As someone that still knows all the dialogue to Roger Rabbit, I understand.
 
2021-03-23 8:39:54 AM  

lifeslammer: Remember that this is only the beginning of your auditory hell, and its just going to change every 8-15 months


^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^

If I hear the opening notes of "She's In Love With The Boy"...
 
2021-03-23 8:43:32 AM  

Zevon's Evil Twin: lifeslammer: Remember that this is only the beginning of your auditory hell, and its just going to change every 8-15 months

^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^

If I hear the opening notes of "She's In Love With The Boy"...


Trisha Yearwood - She's In Love With The Boy (Official Video)
Youtube mUFObCZtGWQ
 
2021-03-23 8:48:39 AM  
Yeah, there are fake Slate advice letters and there are fake Slate advice letters.
This is up there, as I have stated on Fark before, with Parade Magazine fake questions ("Dear Parade Magazine, I have a bet with my wife and a steak dinner is on the line!  I say Tom Cruise played the part of C-3PO in the movie Star Wars, she says I'm wrong!")

But you know how this one is obviously fake?
She doesn't use the words "Hubby, Kiddos, or wine" which are three words a real millennial asking this type of question would use
 
2021-03-23 8:48:59 AM  
Baby Shark (metal cover by Leo Moracchioli)
Youtube POdbe-_bYbs
 
2021-03-23 8:48:59 AM  
Do that one weird parenting trick where you tell your kid "no."   That's the easy part.

Talk with the husband, tell him there's a line between prank and being an abusive asshole.
 
2021-03-23 9:15:14 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/POdbe-_b​Ybs]


No.
 
2021-03-23 10:54:53 AM  
If that's a dynamic that asserts itself often in your relationship, that's no good.

Oh FFS. Calm down.
 
2021-03-23 11:04:37 AM  
Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt.  News Flash:  You can actually do this and if you pick correctly, it will be a much more tolerable thing than "Baby Shark" or "Lion King" for two million replays.  I'm not the brightest light on the tree and made this discovery only by accident when caring for the grand kids when they were little shavers.  They arrived with a "Lion King" cd in their little backpack and hauled it out when they wanted some screen time entertainment.  For some forgotten reason, the movie cd "Young Frankenstein" was still in the cd player and I cued it up not wanting to watch "Lion King" ever again.  The kids sat their little butts down and watched "Young Frankenstein" in rapt attention.  It was immediately their favorite movie at our house and twenty years later they will watch it again any time they can.  I've seen "Young Frankenstein" now a bunch of times and can accurately spew every line in the movie.  Thank the Gods it has been twenty years since I saw "Lion King".
 
2021-03-23 11:04:54 AM  
Introduce the kid to Caillou and tell him that watching Caillou is a special time reserved just for him and Daddy only.
 
2021-03-23 11:13:59 AM  
Introduce the kid to Lou Reed...
If Lou Reed Sang: "Baby Shark" - by BB Ross and the Happy Accidents
Youtube tKbQFjoBdkY
 
2021-03-23 11:53:42 AM  
Change his phone ring tone.
 
2021-03-23 12:24:21 PM  

pissnmoan: Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt....


When my kids were very young their grandfather bought them a little plastic SpongeBob SquarePants and when you pushed the button it played the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song. Pushing the button did not restart it halfway through or stop it, the only way to stop it was to wait for the song to end or take the batteries out.

He lived about an hour and a half away, and for the entire car ride home that was all I heard.

After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.
 
2021-03-23 1:07:24 PM  
Your kid is going to get obsessed with things that are obnoxious or get obsessed with things in obnoxious ways.  There is absolutely nothing you can do to avoid it as a general thing, it's not a matter of "if" they will obsess over something that annoys you but "when" and "which".

The husband is being a bit of a dick, but as long as that's not a pattern, meh.
 
2021-03-23 1:09:27 PM  

buntz: After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.


The quality of wires going to speakers in kids toys has really declined in recent years.  A lot of ours have failures after a few days of run time.
 
2021-03-23 1:31:57 PM  

NkThrasher: buntz: After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.

The quality of wires going to speakers in kids toys has really declined in recent years.  A lot of ours have failures after a few days of run time.


When I was a little kid, I had one of those cheap plastic portable record players. I also had a 45 of "Snoopy vs. the Red Baron," which I, along with my parents, probably became more familiar with than the people who recorded it. Then, one day, I found that the record player wasn't working anymore. My mom told me I must have worn it out. Sounded reasonable to me, because I knew I'd been playing that record a lot.

It wasn't until a few years later that I realized there was a very real possibility (or probably, or even certainty, if you will) that my mother had done what I would have done had I been the parent.
 
2021-03-23 1:58:15 PM  
I got my Frenchie a Mr. Bill dog toy. "Oh Nooooooooooo"....
 
2021-03-23 3:00:05 PM  

KC Dutchman: Introduce the kid to Caillou and tell him that watching Caillou is a special time reserved just for him and Daddy only.


That's just farking cruel.
 
2021-03-23 3:47:40 PM  

buntz: pissnmoan: Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt....

When my kids were very young their grandfather bought them a little plastic SpongeBob SquarePants and when you pushed the button it played the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song. Pushing the button did not restart it halfway through or stop it, the only way to stop it was to wait for the song to end or take the batteries out.

He lived about an hour and a half away, and for the entire car ride home that was all I heard.

After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.


WTF is wrong with your dad?  Why couldn't he give them something less annoying, like a drum set?
 
2021-03-23 4:16:15 PM  

mike_d85: WTF is wrong with your dad?  Why couldn't he give them something less annoying, like a drum set?


Father-in-law.  I don't think my father ever bought my kids a present, ever.
In his defense, he loved my kids and constantly bought them gifts.
However in MY defense, a lot of the gifts he bought them were Dollar General battery operated sound machines!
Lots of holiday decorations, singing skeletons, dancing Santa Clauses, that sort of thing!

/coincidentally, I have had a drum set in the basement since I was a kid, Pearl Export Series....the kids have never shown an interest in it. Make me an offer!
 
2021-03-23 4:35:34 PM  

buntz: /coincidentally, I have had a drum set in the basement since I was a kid, Pearl Export Series....the kids have never shown an interest in it. Make me an offer!



I don't think anyone wants to buy your kids.
 
2021-03-23 4:43:58 PM  

wet drum sandwich: It wasn't until a few years later that I realized there was a very real possibility (or probably, or even certainty, if you will) that my mother had done what I would have done had I been the parent.


Yeah, some day my kid is going to catch me.  He's going to get it in his head that he can fix one of the "broken" things, open it up, see the snipped wire, and say "oh, daddy knows how to solder this together!"

It's not that far off.  I was only a year or two older than him when I started taking apart and putting back together toys.

The big question will be if he puts 1 and 1 together to realize that it's not an accident or just degradation.  If he does that I'm in trouble.
 
2021-03-23 5:10:25 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: buntz: /coincidentally, I have had a drum set in the basement since I was a kid, Pearl Export Series....the kids have never shown an interest in it. Make me an offer!


I don't think anyone wants to buy your kids.


Fark user imageView Full Size


C'mon!!! I'll be your friend!!!
 
2021-03-23 6:34:53 PM  
Teach your kid the lyrics to WAP.
 
2021-03-23 6:52:17 PM  

wage0048: What time does your husband wake up to go to work?  Whatever time that is, wake him up two hours early in the following manner:

1) Baby Shark at the loudest possible volume from a boom-box in the bedroom,
2) 5-gallon bucket of ice water dumped on him as soon as he starts to wake up,
3) 10" chef's knife to his throat while he sputters and tries to come to grips with what's happening, then
4) tell him that if he ever pulls that sort of shiat again you won't stop cutting next time.


Does sex happen at the end of that?
 
2021-03-23 10:14:38 PM  
My parents bought our two year-old twins Kindle Fires for their birthday.
Our six year-old has a Kindle Fire too.
Last night, all three kids turned on the PBS app and watched Super Why but started at various times. My wife and I were sitting there listening to the episode as if in an echo chamber. It was...surreal.

We went through Baby Shark with the oldest. We are reliving it with the twins.

And the song/video I learned all three children inexplicably love is this:

Pet Shop Boys - Love etc.
Youtube InBiaRBUjUs
 
2021-03-23 11:01:09 PM  

buntz: pissnmoan: Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt....

When my kids were very young their grandfather bought them a little plastic SpongeBob SquarePants and when you pushed the button it played the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song. Pushing the button did not restart it halfway through or stop it, the only way to stop it was to wait for the song to end or take the batteries out.

He lived about an hour and a half away, and for the entire car ride home that was all I heard.

After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.


We sometimes buy our grandkids presents that stay at our house for them to play with when they visit but the noisemaking toys always go home with them. I also bought each set of grandchildren a kid size drum set for them to take home. They get to play mine when they visit.
 
2021-03-24 7:43:10 AM  
Nothing. Their obsession will vanish shortly.
 
2021-03-24 7:44:27 AM  

frostus: buntz: pissnmoan: Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt....

When my kids were very young their grandfather bought them a little plastic SpongeBob SquarePants and when you pushed the button it played the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song. Pushing the button did not restart it halfway through or stop it, the only way to stop it was to wait for the song to end or take the batteries out.

He lived about an hour and a half away, and for the entire car ride home that was all I heard.

After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.

We sometimes buy our grandkids presents that stay at our house for them to play with when they visit but the noisemaking toys always go home with them. I also bought each set of grandchildren a kid size drum set for them to take home. They get to play mine when they visit.


Parents just love it when people do these sort of things
 
2021-03-24 7:46:14 AM  

qorkfiend: frostus: buntz: pissnmoan: Pick a replacement movie/earworm song for the child to adopt....

When my kids were very young their grandfather bought them a little plastic SpongeBob SquarePants and when you pushed the button it played the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants theme song. Pushing the button did not restart it halfway through or stop it, the only way to stop it was to wait for the song to end or take the batteries out.

He lived about an hour and a half away, and for the entire car ride home that was all I heard.

After maybe a day at home hearing it non-stop from whatever room they were in, I took the batteries out and claimed that it must have broke!

I did feel guilty, but I got over it.

We sometimes buy our grandkids presents that stay at our house for them to play with when they visit but the noisemaking toys always go home with them. I also bought each set of grandchildren a kid size drum set for them to take home. They get to play mine when they visit.

Parents just love it when people do these sort of things


My kids grew up with a drum dad. They're used to it.
 
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