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(Yahoo)   4.052692e+76 varieties   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Cool, Sauce, Mayonnaise, Sauces, Tomato sauce, Tartar sauce, Ketchup, French fries, hungry Canadians  
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701 clicks; posted to Food » on 16 Mar 2021 at 8:43 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-16 6:48:02 AM  
Finally.
Food for the infantile pallet.
 
2021-03-16 7:50:09 AM  
You could always do your own blends...
 
2021-03-16 8:20:20 AM  
Those names are terrible.  If we heard them on The Simpsons we'd accept them as satirical.
 
2021-03-16 8:46:23 AM  
Heinz 57 Portmanteaux
 
2021-03-16 8:52:29 AM  

vudukungfu: Finally.
Food for the infantile pallet.


Infantile pallet?  Is that for shipping babies, or just really small packages?
 
2021-03-16 8:53:28 AM  

Diogenes: Those names are terrible.  If we heard them on The Simpsons we'd accept them as satirical.


Hanch?  For hot sauce + Ranch?  Should've switched it around  - Ranch +hot sauce = Rot Sauce
 
2021-03-16 9:00:16 AM  
I just want some Franch to go with my blue meth.
 
2021-03-16 9:09:52 AM  

Diogenes: Those names are terrible.  If we heard them on The Simpsons we'd accept them as satirical.


seriously... Tarchup?! Hanch??!? how high was their entire Marketing department when they greenlit those?

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/now go drink your Malk!
 
2021-03-16 9:14:20 AM  
kinda interested in the wasabi aioli, and at least their name for it is several orders of magnitude less-stupid than the other two - maybe the "smart" intern did all the work on that too-obvious one. or maybe, try as they might, they just couldn't come up with a terribly-stupid name for it... awww.
 
2021-03-16 9:20:08 AM  

enry: You could always do your own blends...


That would require the target group of this stuff to brain, which seems rather unlikely.
 
2021-03-16 9:29:53 AM  
Sriracha + Lime + Curry = Slurry
 
2021-03-16 9:29:57 AM  
Mr. Show - Mayostard / Mustardayonnaise / Mustmayostardayonnaise
Youtube mRntutn8udw
 
2021-03-16 9:31:13 AM  
They're missing a whole bunch:

Carannaise - Caramel sauce + Mayonnaise
Butteracha - Butterscotch +Sriracha
Worcesterlate - Worcestershire +Chocolate sauce
Pestoy - Pesto + Soy sauce
Frenchtard - French onion dip +mustard
Guacatar - guacamole +tartar sauce
Horsecock - horseradish +cocktail sauce
 
2021-03-16 10:06:39 AM  

Cyber Duck: They're missing a whole bunch:

Carannaise - Caramel sauce + Mayonnaise
Butteracha - Butterscotch +Sriracha
Worcesterlate - Worcestershire +Chocolate sauce
Pestoy - Pesto + Soy sauce
Frenchtard - French onion dip +mustard
Guacatar - guacamole +tartar sauce
Horsecock - horseradish +cocktail sauce


zommfg, just be glad I'd put down my beer before refreshing this page. those are all sublime!

*snrk!!!*
 
2021-03-16 10:13:42 AM  

Brawndo: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/mRntutn8​udw]


"IT'S A DESERT TOPPING YOU COW!"
 
2021-03-16 10:36:24 AM  

Cyber Duck: They're missing a whole bunch:

Carannaise - Caramel sauce + Mayonnaise
Butteracha - Butterscotch +Sriracha
Worcesterlate - Worcestershire +Chocolate sauce
Pestoy - Pesto + Soy sauce
Frenchtard - French onion dip +mustard
Guacatar - guacamole +tartar sauce
Horsecock - horseradish +cocktail sauce


Sritard.
 
2021-03-16 11:22:19 AM  

Cyber Duck: vudukungfu: Finally.
Food for the infantile pallet.

Infantile pallet?  Is that for shipping babies, or just really small packages?


What an infantile pallet might look like.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-16 11:33:59 AM  
On one hand I'd probably go for the Wasabioli. On the other hand, Why do they bother making more sauces when 57 Sauce already exists?
 
2021-03-16 12:01:20 PM  
My brother and I came up with a condiment mashup that we've thought about marketing. Not sure about the trademark/copyright infringement though.

Tabasturd.
 
2021-03-16 12:02:53 PM  
Heinz? You doin' ok there, buddy?
 
2021-03-16 1:34:46 PM  
My taste buds are pretty pleased with all things Kraft except for one thing. They're BBQ sauces all have some consistent background taste regardless of which flavor you choose. They all taste like Kraft and it's not an appealing flavor.
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-03-16 2:09:17 PM  

Cyber Duck: They're missing a whole bunch:

Carannaise - Caramel sauce + Mayonnaise
Butteracha - Butterscotch +Sriracha
Worcesterlate - Worcestershire +Chocolate sauce
Pestoy - Pesto + Soy sauce
Frenchtard - French onion dip +mustard
Guacatar - guacamole +tartar sauce
Horsecock - horseradish +cocktail sauce


You had a great run till that last one. Being that cocktail sauce is already like 50% horseradish.
 
2021-03-16 2:25:22 PM  
ad.
 
2021-03-16 2:46:32 PM  
I worked on some global supply chain software - how to transport things around so that you could maximize the use of containers. So a tanker car used for corn oil could be used for soybean oil, but not heating oil, for example.
It turns out it was directly applicable to food production. In food production, cleaning equipment is expensive. To minimize the number of times that's done, you had to schedule the products just right. So you could make Green Godess dressing, then ranch, then low-fat blue cheese, then regular blue cheese, because it didn't matter if a little of the previous got mixed in. But if you made French first, you couldn't do blue until you cleaned.
Anyway, whenever I see these combination things, I wonder if it's just the company not wanting to clean the equipment.
 
2021-03-16 3:01:53 PM  

Cortez the Killer: My brother and I came up with a condiment mashup that we've thought about marketing. Not sure about the trademark/copyright infringement though.

Tabasturd.


The economy sized bottle could be Fatabasturd!
 
2021-03-16 3:20:05 PM  
The names sound silly right now, but I'm not seeing a problem. Heinz is changing its products to reflect what people like without completely abandoning everything that has worked for it. This is how food has always evolved.
 
2021-03-16 4:45:08 PM  

Cyber Duck: Diogenes: Those names are terrible.  If we heard them on The Simpsons we'd accept them as satirical.

Hanch?  For hot sauce + Ranch?  Should've switched it around  - Ranch +hot sauce = Rot Sauce


When I saw the name "Hanch", I though it was going to be Hatch Chilies + Ranch.  In any case, how many months before we USAsians get a crack at this?  Besides, I'm running perilously low on Canajun Condiments.
 
2021-03-16 5:38:49 PM  

Gough: Cyber Duck: Diogenes: Those names are terrible.  If we heard them on The Simpsons we'd accept them as satirical.

Hanch?  For hot sauce + Ranch?  Should've switched it around  - Ranch +hot sauce = Rot Sauce

When I saw the name "Hanch", I though it was going to be Hatch Chilies + Ranch.  In any case, how many months before we USAsians get a crack at this?  Besides, I'm running perilously low on Canajun Condiments.


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amb
2021-03-16 7:15:49 PM  
You used to be able to get this with blue cheese.
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We never see western dressing out east, so if we remember, we pick some up when visiting family.
 
2021-03-16 9:10:45 PM  
"Hanch?" Listen, Heinz, "Honch" is a functional portmanteau. Hot sauce and ranch dressing is already a good combo and if you drop the "A" for an "O" you too can be head honcho.
 
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