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(Slate)   "My daughter has found all the junk food hiding spots and sneaks snacks as a junk food junkie. What can I do to prevent her from stealing the good stuff?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, Washing, sneaks food, tumultuous time, infinite love, lot of airtime, Dear Care, healthy food  
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226 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 09 Mar 2021 at 2:50 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-08 10:41:52 PM  
Hide cursed snack foods.
The strangest snack Japan and Korea have:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Also a variety of chip available in America called Mama Zuma's Revenge:
Fark user imageView Full Size

They will inspire fear of chips. You'll know she's stolen them when she starts screaming and crying.

Also those Jelly Belly jelly beans that are Ted Cruz flavor. They'll teach her to hate candy.

Basically make all snack foods a surrealist nightmare.

Invest in a lock box for actual snack foods.
 
2021-03-08 10:49:12 PM  
Not buy junk food if you don't want the kids to eat junk food.
Or stop hiding it like weed in the 80's and teach them portion control.
 
2021-03-08 10:50:06 PM  
Great, now I want strawberry Cheetos
 
2021-03-08 10:52:44 PM  
Chocolate Ex-Lax, Sugar-Free Haribo gummi bears, grow a spine
 
2021-03-08 10:54:09 PM  
article: 'She'll wake up at 5 a.m. and treat herself to a junk breakfast, leaving very little for the rest of us'

So the rest of you also have junk food breakfasts and you miss them?
 
2021-03-08 11:12:38 PM  

nanim: article: 'She'll wake up at 5 a.m. and treat herself to a junk breakfast, leaving very little for the rest of us'

So the rest of you also have junk food breakfasts and you miss them?


Larry Groce - Junk Food Junkie (1976)
Youtube jQnIL-XPerQ
 
2021-03-08 11:14:04 PM  

cretinbob: Great, now I want strawberry Cheetos


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 11:53:14 PM  
Store a bucket of pig's blood in the fridge, hide snacks (sealed!) inside
 
2021-03-09 1:10:25 AM  

RolandTGunner: nanim: article: 'She'll wake up at 5 a.m. and treat herself to a junk breakfast, leaving very little for the rest of us'

So the rest of you also have junk food breakfasts and you miss them?

[YouTube video: Larry Groce - Junk Food Junkie (1976)]


My first thought too.

Dr. Demento fan since the mid seventies.
 
2021-03-09 3:00:45 AM  

cretinbob: Not buy junk food if you don't want the kids to eat junk food.
Or stop hiding it like weed in the 80's and teach them portion control.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-09 3:01:25 AM  
Why is there junk food in your house?
 
2021-03-09 3:36:06 AM  

rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?


Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life
 
2021-03-09 3:59:39 AM  

Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life


The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.
 
2021-03-09 4:15:28 AM  

rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life

The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.


Every child does that. Especially when they are at the age where they need over 3000 cal/day to fuel the whole growing up thing
 
2021-03-09 5:01:04 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-09 6:06:53 AM  

batlock666: [Fark user image image 850x478]


Is that for the junk food, or the child?...
 
2021-03-09 6:40:18 AM  
Olestra chips.
 
2021-03-09 6:57:51 AM  

batlock666: [Fark user image 850x478]


When my daughter was little we had a crate like that for the dog. She felt bad for the dog being locked up but I was adamant that dogs don't belong in beds.
I would often find her curled up with the pupper in the crate in the morning.

This was neither the first nor the last time that kid thwarted my efforts to civilize her.
 
2021-03-09 7:15:33 AM  

LarrySouth: batlock666: [Fark user image image 850x478]

Is that for the junk food, or the child?...


Yes
 
2021-03-09 8:13:18 AM  
Hiding junk food that the child searches for and then binges on is a recipe for developing an eating disorder. No food should considered a shameful thing that is also a wonderful treat. Sweets and junk food should be treated as a normal thing that we eat once in a while, in moderation. Quit stockpiling junk food in the house. If you have some, don't hide it. Make sure the child is getting enough to eat, including desserts, and adequate exercise. Really try to counteract the idea that goodies should be hidden.
 
2021-03-09 8:17:30 AM  
Buy a locking safe for your room. Your stash goes in there.

Buy the kid their own stash. Tell them it has to last X amount of days. If they eat it all they're not getting more until you go to the store.

Stop buying so much junk food. =P
 
2021-03-09 8:23:06 AM  

bababa: Hiding junk food that the child searches for and then binges on is a recipe for developing an eating disorder. No food should considered a shameful thing that is also a wonderful treat. Sweets and junk food should be treated as a normal thing that we eat once in a while, in moderation. Quit stockpiling junk food in the house. If you have some, don't hide it. Make sure the child is getting enough to eat, including desserts, and adequate exercise. Really try to counteract the idea that goodies should be hidden.


For all she knows her parents are hiding/stockpiling junk food because they go on midnight binges, and she's just trying to get a share before it disappears.

"That was a great healthy meal we just had, so anyone who wants can have a cookie for dessert" (and then deal with possible negotiations for a 2nd cookie) seems easier.
 
2021-03-09 8:28:00 AM  
Maybe stop buying junk food, dumbass.

/says the guy who scarfed down half a pizza last night
 
2021-03-09 8:30:11 AM  

xanadian: Maybe stop buying junk food, dumbass.

/says the guy who scarfed down half a pizza last night


HALF!!!

/ wussy
 
2021-03-09 8:54:32 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-09 9:42:15 AM  

Gramma: batlock666: [Fark user image 850x478]

When my daughter was little we had a crate like that for the dog. She felt bad for the dog being locked up but I was adamant that dogs don't belong in beds.
I would often find her curled up with the pupper in the crate in the morning.

This was neither the first nor the last time that kid thwarted my efforts to civilize her.


I hope you have since repented.

/Dogs don't belong in a box
 
2021-03-09 9:52:40 AM  

bababa: Hiding junk food that the child searches for and then binges on is a recipe for developing an eating disorder. No food should considered a shameful thing that is also a wonderful treat. Sweets and junk food should be treated as a normal thing that we eat once in a while, in moderation. Quit stockpiling junk food in the house. If you have some, don't hide it. Make sure the child is getting enough to eat, including desserts, and adequate exercise. Really try to counteract the idea that goodies should be hidden.


It sounds to me like the kid is already on the verge of developing a real problem, and it's not because the parents are making junk food shameful. Indeed, the letter writer seems fine with the idea that sweets are around. One of the tip-offs is that the same behavior is happening with restaurant doggy bags, not just the cookies or candy.

Sometimes kids get at the Oreos and eat a whole bag when no one is looking.  This is because they taste good and the kid doesn't have a sense of when enough is enough. Perfectly natural. This kid sounds like she's engaging in resource hoarding or resource denial - "if I don't eat all the oreos/chocolate/leftover quesadilla right now, someone else will eat it later."  Also a natural human response, we're still programmed to gorge now for the possible lean times ahead.  But that's got to be moderated, and insisting that she not wake up at 5 AM and eat a whole box of thin mints is fine.  Don't shame the desire to eat pleasurable food, shame the greed.  "Honey, mom wanted some cookies too, and now they're all gone.  If the cookies are always gone when mom or dad want one, we're going to have to start putting them in a safe place."
 
2021-03-09 10:02:51 AM  

Lochsteppe: Gramma: batlock666: [Fark user image 850x478]

When my daughter was little we had a crate like that for the dog. She felt bad for the dog being locked up but I was adamant that dogs don't belong in beds.
I would often find her curled up with the pupper in the crate in the morning.

This was neither the first nor the last time that kid thwarted my efforts to civilize her.

I hope you have since repented.

/Dogs don't belong in a box


Crate training is not a bad thing.
 
2021-03-09 10:41:05 AM  

Lochsteppe: Gramma: batlock666: [Fark user image 850x478]

When my daughter was little we had a crate like that for the dog. She felt bad for the dog being locked up but I was adamant that dogs don't belong in beds.
I would often find her curled up with the pupper in the crate in the morning.

This was neither the first nor the last time that kid thwarted my efforts to civilize her.

I hope you have since repented.

/Dogs don't belong in a box


depends on the breed, because if you let the wrong breed think they can share the bed when they are little its going to be their bed when they grow up and you get the couch
 
2021-03-09 10:41:59 AM  
Shame.  Shame fixes everything.
 
2021-03-09 11:31:50 AM  
Purple_Urkle:

Invest in a lock box for actual snack foods.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-09 11:51:02 AM  

Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life

The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.

Every child does that. Especially when they are at the age where they need over 3000 cal/day to fuel the whole growing up thing


Sorry but this makes zeo sense to me.  I grew up poor and sometimes homeless and the concept of there even *being* resources for a child to waste is hard to imagine.

The kid in the article is stealing/hoarding/hiding junk food, and that is no way to relate to food.  The mom is hiding her own junk food - which means mom's relationship with food is f*cked up.

That kid is an eating disorder waiting to happen.
 
2021-03-09 12:05:42 PM  

born_yesterday: Shame.  Shame fixes everything.


So does poison.
 
2021-03-09 12:15:17 PM  
If you're trying to get someone over an addiction, you don't have the addictive substances in the house, make some farking sacrifices, you self centered douche.
 
2021-03-09 12:21:30 PM  

rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life

The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.

Every child does that. Especially when they are at the age where they need over 3000 cal/day to fuel the whole growing up thing

Sorry but this makes zeo sense to me.  I grew up poor and sometimes homeless and the concept of there even *being* resources for a child to waste is hard to imagine.

The kid in the article is stealing/hoarding/hiding junk food, and that is no way to relate to food.  The mom is hiding her own junk food - which means mom's relationship with food is f*cked up.

That kid is an eating disorder waiting to happen.


Sorry. I did something similar at the same age. I got up in the middle of the night and grabbed food. Thinking there was something wrong in it, I hid the food wrappers under the bed (Yeah, I was 8). When these were food, instead of my parents taking me aside and explaining that there was no need to hide food and that if I were hungry, I could eat what I wanted, they decided that by hiding the wrappers, I was exhibiting "dishonest" behavior, so that made me guilty of "stealing" food. This led to 6 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse, me getting "locked" in my room any time I wasn't directly supervised, including at night (Having to get and escort to take a leak at night was wonderfully embarrassing), or when they left (After too many "I had to go to the bathroom and nobody was here" excuses, I got a coffee can to use as my restroom).

SO you can fark right off. Hunger at that age is a real thing, and treating it like an affliction causes years of anguish and turmoil. Decades, actually, I still have psychological quirks from all of that at 51 years old, and it all stemmed from the simple farking fact that I got hungry at night. And no, no farking eating disorders, Dr Phil.
 
2021-03-09 1:18:51 PM  

Mikey1969: Sorry. I did something similar at the same age. I got up in the middle of the night and grabbed food. Thinking there was something wrong in it, I hid the food wrappers under the bed (Yeah, I was 8). When these were food, instead of my parents taking me aside and explaining that there was no need to hide food and that if I were hungry, I could eat what I wanted, they decided that by hiding the wrappers, I was exhibiting "dishonest" behavior, so that made me guilty of "stealing" food. This led to 6 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse, me getting "locked" in my room any time I wasn't directly supervised, including at night (Having to get and escort to take a leak at night was wonderfully embarrassing), or when they left (After too many "I had to go to the bathroom and nobody was here" excuses, I got a coffee can to use as my restroom).

SO you can fark right off. Hunger at that age is a real thing, and treating it like an affliction causes years of anguish and turmoil. Decades, actually, I still have psychological quirks from all of that at 51 years old, and it all stemmed from the simple farking fact that I got hungry at night. And no, no farking eating disorders, Dr Phil.


TYPE TYPE DELETE.   We can have an abuse contest later if you want.

The kid's parents aren't doing her any favors.  Whatever "psychological quirks" you have, in women and girls the response to stress like this is often to develop an eating disorder, doubly so if the mom has an unhealthy relationship with food.
 
2021-03-09 1:55:12 PM  

rosekolodny: Mikey1969: Sorry. I did something similar at the same age. I got up in the middle of the night and grabbed food. Thinking there was something wrong in it, I hid the food wrappers under the bed (Yeah, I was 8). When these were food, instead of my parents taking me aside and explaining that there was no need to hide food and that if I were hungry, I could eat what I wanted, they decided that by hiding the wrappers, I was exhibiting "dishonest" behavior, so that made me guilty of "stealing" food. This led to 6 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse, me getting "locked" in my room any time I wasn't directly supervised, including at night (Having to get and escort to take a leak at night was wonderfully embarrassing), or when they left (After too many "I had to go to the bathroom and nobody was here" excuses, I got a coffee can to use as my restroom).

SO you can fark right off. Hunger at that age is a real thing, and treating it like an affliction causes years of anguish and turmoil. Decades, actually, I still have psychological quirks from all of that at 51 years old, and it all stemmed from the simple farking fact that I got hungry at night. And no, no farking eating disorders, Dr Phil.

TYPE TYPE DELETE.   We can have an abuse contest later if you want.

The kid's parents aren't doing her any favors.  Whatever "psychological quirks" you have, in women and girls the response to stress like this is often to develop an eating disorder, doubly so if the mom has an unhealthy relationship with food.


And stress is caused by treating this like some kind of "problem", rather than being understanding with the kid and exploring the problem. If junk food is really that much of an issue here, then an actual caring, involved family would get the junk food out of the house. But they don't give a shiat.
 
2021-03-09 1:59:35 PM  

Purple_Urkle: cretinbob: Great, now I want strawberry Cheetos

[Fark user image image 425x313]


The vomit one (that's not shown). Gods below, the vomit one.
 
2021-03-09 2:03:14 PM  

Purple_Urkle: cretinbob: Great, now I want strawberry Cheetos

[Fark user image image 425x313]


Never mind. It's labeled as barf. That one got me. Earwax was gross, but the barf/vomit made me puke.
 
2021-03-09 2:06:44 PM  

Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life

The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.

Every child does that. Especially when they are at the age where they need over 3000 cal/day to fuel the whole growing up thing


Yup. The kid's 8. If she's getting up at 5 am, unless she's 150lbs, be more worried about the clothes & shoes you're about to buy when she shoots up 5" & 3 shoe sizes literally overnight.
 
2021-03-09 2:26:16 PM  

Mikey1969: rosekolodny: Mikey1969: Sorry. I did something similar at the same age. I got up in the middle of the night and grabbed food. Thinking there was something wrong in it, I hid the food wrappers under the bed (Yeah, I was 8). When these were food, instead of my parents taking me aside and explaining that there was no need to hide food and that if I were hungry, I could eat what I wanted, they decided that by hiding the wrappers, I was exhibiting "dishonest" behavior, so that made me guilty of "stealing" food. This led to 6 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse, me getting "locked" in my room any time I wasn't directly supervised, including at night (Having to get and escort to take a leak at night was wonderfully embarrassing), or when they left (After too many "I had to go to the bathroom and nobody was here" excuses, I got a coffee can to use as my restroom).

SO you can fark right off. Hunger at that age is a real thing, and treating it like an affliction causes years of anguish and turmoil. Decades, actually, I still have psychological quirks from all of that at 51 years old, and it all stemmed from the simple farking fact that I got hungry at night. And no, no farking eating disorders, Dr Phil.

TYPE TYPE DELETE.   We can have an abuse contest later if you want.

The kid's parents aren't doing her any favors.  Whatever "psychological quirks" you have, in women and girls the response to stress like this is often to develop an eating disorder, doubly so if the mom has an unhealthy relationship with food.

And stress is caused by treating this like some kind of "problem", rather than being understanding with the kid and exploring the problem. If junk food is really that much of an issue here, then an actual caring, involved family would get the junk food out of the house. But they don't give a shiat.


Yup. I'm being pressured to eat more. I'm 37, healing up from proton therapy & having an eye removed.

I'm not hungry at 8, 12, & 5:30p. Sometimes it's 10a & 11p. Sometimes it's 4:30a. I'm hungry when I'm hungry, and I'm 37. I don't need to "put on a bit more weight" after 2 decades of being obese & living on high-calorie commodities & food stamps.

I can't help it if my body screams for food at 4am, but by Gawd I'm gonna eat. Even if it's a salad that's 1/2 salad 1/2 Ranch dressing. If I crave something bad enough at 4am, there's something my body needs.
 
2021-03-09 2:32:54 PM  

Robinfro: Yup. I'm being pressured to eat more. I'm 37, healing up from proton therapy & having an eye removed.

I'm not hungry at 8, 12, & 5:30p. Sometimes it's 10a & 11p. Sometimes it's 4:30a. I'm hungry when I'm hungry, and I'm 37. I don't need to "put on a bit more weight" after 2 decades of being obese & living on high-calorie commodities & food stamps.

I can't help it if my body screams for food at 4am, but by Gawd I'm gonna eat. Even if it's a salad that's 1/2 salad 1/2 Ranch dressing. If I crave something bad enough at 4am, there's something my body needs.


Yep... That's exactly what happened. I was hungry in the middle of the night. If my adoptive parents knew how to parent, they would have worked with this, it's obvious that I was hungry for a reason.

Now, I'm in a similar boat to you, just finished chemo, and the whole cancer ordeal has taken me from my already slim 145 lbs. down to a low of 115 6 weeks or so ago, so they want me to eat whatever and whenever I want. If I get hungry for ice cream at 4 am, it's better to eat ice cream than to worry about what's healthy or not.


Good luck on your journey!!!
 
2021-03-09 2:45:05 PM  

Mikey1969: rosekolodny: Mikey1969: Sorry. I did something similar at the same age. I got up in the middle of the night and grabbed food. Thinking there was something wrong in it, I hid the food wrappers under the bed (Yeah, I was 8). When these were food, instead of my parents taking me aside and explaining that there was no need to hide food and that if I were hungry, I could eat what I wanted, they decided that by hiding the wrappers, I was exhibiting "dishonest" behavior, so that made me guilty of "stealing" food. This led to 6 years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse, me getting "locked" in my room any time I wasn't directly supervised, including at night (Having to get and escort to take a leak at night was wonderfully embarrassing), or when they left (After too many "I had to go to the bathroom and nobody was here" excuses, I got a coffee can to use as my restroom).

SO you can fark right off. Hunger at that age is a real thing, and treating it like an affliction causes years of anguish and turmoil. Decades, actually, I still have psychological quirks from all of that at 51 years old, and it all stemmed from the simple farking fact that I got hungry at night. And no, no farking eating disorders, Dr Phil.

TYPE TYPE DELETE.   We can have an abuse contest later if you want.

The kid's parents aren't doing her any favors.  Whatever "psychological quirks" you have, in women and girls the response to stress like this is often to develop an eating disorder, doubly so if the mom has an unhealthy relationship with food.

And stress is caused by treating this like some kind of "problem", rather than being understanding with the kid and exploring the problem. If junk food is really that much of an issue here, then an actual caring, involved family would get the junk food out of the house. But they don't give a shiat.


I mean, I led with "don't have junk food in the house" and people yelled at me for that too.

I hope you heal up good after the chemo.
 
2021-03-09 2:57:57 PM  

Robinfro: Purple_Urkle: cretinbob: Great, now I want strawberry Cheetos

[Fark user image image 425x313]

Never mind. It's labeled as barf. That one got me. Earwax was gross, but the barf/vomit made me puke.


you could always try the super spicy ones that make you roll on the ground in pure agony
 
2021-03-09 8:17:59 PM  

Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Concrete Donkey: rosekolodny: Why is there junk food in your house?

Because its better to enjoy life and die at 60 than it is to torment yourself with a strict diet and die at 100

We are in the golden age of humanity when it comes to food and entertainment. The world wont be worth living in 50 years from now. Enjoy life

The person writing the letter says that their 8 year old kid gets up at 5 in the morning to raid the junk food stashes. That's messed up and it could be avoided if they just didn't have junk food stashes.

Every child does that. Especially when they are at the age where they need over 3000 cal/day to fuel the whole growing up thing


Don't give young children low fat diets either. Fat is required for brain development.
Don't shove bacon grease down their throats of course.
 
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