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(The Poke (UK))   Gordon farking Ramsay farks up a full English, then has the bollocks to charge £19 for it, the farking...you know, there's not enough Malcolm Tucker in the world to describe this cocked-up wreckage, so maybe you farkers'll have a go   (thepoke.co.uk) divider line
    More: Fail, Full breakfast, Breakfast, Gordon Ramsay, Fried bread, English-language films, Internet, Mister Ramsay, British cuisine  
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874 clicks; posted to Food » on 09 Mar 2021 at 4:20 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-08 9:21:30 PM  
It is missing beans and potatoes, and the eggs look plastic.
 
2021-03-08 9:32:37 PM  
WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS YOU F*CKING DONKEY!!!  IT LOOKS LIKE F*CKING PLASTIC!!  YOU F*CKING DISGRACE - YOU MISSED EVERY F*CKING THING!!!  NO BEANS!  NO POTATOES!  NO TOAST!  NO BLACK PUDDING!  ONLY ONE F*CKING SAUSAGE, YOU F*CKING TWAT!   YOU GIVE ME THIS ANEMIC F*CKING shiat AND I'LL THROW IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS!!  YOU DESERVE A SWIFT KICK IN THE BOLLOCKS, YOU F*CKING COONT!!!
 
2021-03-08 9:35:49 PM  
20. 20.
 
2021-03-08 9:39:44 PM  
That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.
 
2021-03-08 10:05:22 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


Is..is that for one person? If so, damn! Each individual thing on there, taken in combos of 3 or 4 I could eat. But all that? No way.
 
2021-03-08 10:12:31 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


Is that a sparrow egg on the right?
 
2021-03-08 10:30:56 PM  

grokca: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

Is that a sparrow egg on the right?


Keep your eyes on the sparrow.
 
2021-03-08 10:31:12 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


That looks like 12 truckers all committed on the same plate.
 
2021-03-09 3:16:04 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


That looks like one of those things where if you eat it all, they take your picture and put it on the wall.
 
2021-03-09 3:19:39 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS YOU F*CKING DONKEY!!!  IT LOOKS LIKE F*CKING PLASTIC!!  YOU F*CKING DISGRACE - YOU MISSED EVERY F*CKING THING!!!  NO BEANS!  NO POTATOES!  NO TOAST!  NO BLACK PUDDING!  ONLY ONE F*CKING SAUSAGE, YOU F*CKING TWAT!   YOU GIVE ME THIS ANEMIC F*CKING shiat AND I'LL THROW IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS!!  YOU DESERVE A SWIFT KICK IN THE BOLLOCKS, YOU F*CKING COONT!!!


You missed out COCKWOMBLE, but it's a solid 9.5/10! XD
 
2021-03-09 3:47:24 AM  
Egg and Spam... Egg, Bacon and Spam... Egg, Bacon, Sausage and Spam... Spam, Spam, Spam, Baked Beans and Spam...
 
2021-03-09 3:57:34 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: WHAT THE F*CK IS THIS YOU F*CKING DONKEY!!!  IT LOOKS LIKE F*CKING PLASTIC!!  YOU F*CKING DISGRACE - YOU MISSED EVERY F*CKING THING!!!  NO BEANS!  NO POTATOES!  NO TOAST!  NO BLACK PUDDING!  ONLY ONE F*CKING SAUSAGE, YOU F*CKING TWAT!   YOU GIVE ME THIS ANEMIC F*CKING shiat AND I'LL THROW IT UP YOUR ASS SIDEWAYS!!  YOU DESERVE A SWIFT KICK IN THE BOLLOCKS, YOU F*CKING COONT!!!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-09 6:18:34 AM  

NewportBarGuy: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

That looks like 12 truckers all committed on the same plate.


And they have the balls to make comments about Americans being fat.
 
2021-03-09 6:38:57 AM  

grokca: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

Is that a sparrow egg on the right?


Quail egg. They're to die for
 
2021-03-09 6:40:05 AM  
I like how one guy noticed the bean and made a snide comment about them and their "offshore yacht"
 
2021-03-09 7:17:53 AM  

null: NewportBarGuy: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

That looks like 12 truckers all committed on the same plate.

And they have the balls to make comments about Americans being fat.


Exactly
 
2021-03-09 7:28:13 AM  

null: NewportBarGuy: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

That looks like 12 truckers all committed on the same plate.

And they have the balls to make comments about Americans being fat.


"We learned it from you, okay!?"
 
2021-03-09 7:43:13 AM  
Full english breakfast is gross. People pretend to like because they think it makes them "worldly" or something. Probably the same people who pretend to like soccer every 4 years.
 
2021-03-09 7:54:02 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


I'll 'ave your black pudding if you don't want it.
 
2021-03-09 8:31:04 AM  
Heins beans taste like shiat. I'll enjoy a full english sometimes but I have to mask the shiat beans with HP Sauce.
 
2021-03-09 9:04:44 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.


Heck, I'd only want the black pudding, eggs, mushrooms and tomato . Maybe a slice of toast.
 
2021-03-09 9:56:54 AM  
I get the impression we've done this before.
 
2021-03-09 10:18:45 AM  

NINEv2: I get the impression we've done this before.


I don't know where you would get that idea.

FTFA :Oonagh Keating. Updated September 14th, 2020
 
2021-03-09 12:58:34 PM  
English breakfasts are the worst part of visits to England.

Pancakes, grilled ham slice, orange juice, and a Coke. How hard is that, eh?
 
2021-03-09 1:10:33 PM  

yakmans_dad: English breakfasts are the worst part of visits to England.

Pancakes, grilled ham slice, orange juice, and a Coke. How hard is that, eh?


I make fun of English food just as much as the next guy, but that breakfast is greazy awesomeness.
 
2021-03-09 1:59:12 PM  

buckwebb: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

Is..is that for one person? If so, damn! Each individual thing on there, taken in combos of 3 or 4 I could eat. But all that? No way.


And that's why the sun sets on your empire, buckwebb.

Counterpoint: Less heart disease
 
2021-03-09 2:59:54 PM  

born_yesterday: buckwebb: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

Is..is that for one person? If so, damn! Each individual thing on there, taken in combos of 3 or 4 I could eat. But all that? No way.

And that's why the sun sets on your empire, buckwebb.

Counterpoint: Less heart disease


Can't argue with that.  But still, I just want to fly to the UK and experience one now.
 
amb
2021-03-09 4:48:15 PM  

buckwebb: born_yesterday: buckwebb: Carter Pewterschmidt: That is the saddest "Full English" I have ever seen. It looks like a starter for a Full English.

Go to a proper roadside cafe and get a decent Full English.

[Fark user image 720x960]

/Though hold the black pudding. Add extra mushrooms.

Is..is that for one person? If so, damn! Each individual thing on there, taken in combos of 3 or 4 I could eat. But all that? No way.

And that's why the sun sets on your empire, buckwebb.

Counterpoint: Less heart disease

Can't argue with that.  But still, I just want to fly to the UK and experience one now.


I haven't been to the UK in a very long time. Last Full "English" I had was in Scotland. Bed and breakfast in St. Andrews. They really meant it about the breakfast. Played a round at the Old Course, and was just slightly hungry after the round.
 
2021-03-09 5:01:08 PM  
I was in Yeovil for a couple of days, in southern England, a few years ago.  The local hotel/bar/restaurant I stayed at served more of a continental breakfast.  So I guess I thought that was the norm.
 
2021-03-09 5:08:52 PM  

buckwebb: I was in Yeovil for a couple of days, in southern England, a few years ago.  The local hotel/bar/restaurant I stayed at served more of a continental breakfast.  So I guess I thought that was the norm.


In lots of hotels a buffet breakfast is common, so you can make up your own Full English with the exact ingredients and quantity you want. The better places will fry your eggs to order, because fried eggs that have been sitting under lights for ten minutes go all rubbery.
 
2021-03-09 5:43:57 PM  

NINEv2: yakmans_dad: English breakfasts are the worst part of visits to England.

Pancakes, grilled ham slice, orange juice, and a Coke. How hard is that, eh?

I make fun of English food just as much as the next guy, but that breakfast is greazy awesomeness.


That's ambiguous. Does "that breakfast" refer to the online article or my preferred choice?

One of the several flies in the ointment of the Full English involves the veg that's offered. English veg have no taste. The lack of August sun and heat, I think. Tasteless tomatoes are rezgusting. And I despise English bacon. And English baked beans. And English mushrooms. And the usual English fried egg swims in grease like Lord Byron in the Hellespont. I like their link sausage, sometimes. But blood sausage isn't in the same ballpark as ordinary American country sausage.

OTOH, I do like orange marmalade for the toast. And the napkins are often cloth.
 
2021-03-09 8:30:16 PM  
Restaurants that cater to upscale clientele tend to have smaller portions since the wealthy don't need doggie bags, news at 11.
 
2021-03-09 8:37:18 PM  
Also, blood sausage is delicious. My Trinidadian wife introduced me to it (and a bunch of other English food for that matter). It's mostly grain filler but who cares, I guess it's weird if you're expecing Jimmy John's.
 
2021-03-09 9:31:21 PM  
Gordon Farking Ramsey is a farking asshole. There is nothing special about him. The sooner people realize this and stop paying attention to him, the sooner he will go away...
 
2021-03-09 9:37:35 PM  

IHadMeAVision: Also, blood sausage is delicious. My Trinidadian wife introduced me to it (and a bunch of other English food for that matter). It's mostly grain filler but who cares, I guess it's weird if you're expecing Jimmy John's.


Err... I wouldn't call "blood sausage" English, especially not with things like "blutwurst" and "kishka" about.
Only one type is grain filled, usually barley but sometimes oats, and there is an entire class of head cheese that is blood based.
I knew some Estonians who had a bathtub full of blood when I went over one day, they were letting it coagulate to make sausage, so this one blood sausage that you had was probably good, but not "English"... it's pretty much a "most of Europe" thing.

And do you mean "Jimmy Dean's"?
 
2021-03-09 11:39:27 PM  

Percise1: Err... I wouldn't call "blood sausage" English, especially not with things like "blutwurst" and "kishka" about.
Only one type is grain filled, usually barley but sometimes oats, and there is an entire class of head cheese that is blood based.
I knew some Estonians who had a bathtub full of blood when I went over one day, they were letting it coagulate to make sausage, so this one blood sausage that you had was probably good, but not "English"... it's pretty much a "most of Europe" thing.

And do you mean "Jimmy Dean's"?


This thread is about English breakfasts and Trinidad was still a British colony until 50-odd years ago so I'm talking about a specific type.

And yeah, I meant Jimmy Dean. We don't have Jimmy John's in my area, I only know them from ads and sponsorships, wires crossed, I forget they do sandwiches.
 
2021-03-10 12:29:49 AM  

Percise1: Gordon Farking Ramsey is a farking asshole. There is nothing special about him. The sooner people realize this and stop paying attention to him, the sooner he will go away...


Gordon RamzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
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