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(Newschannel 9)   In some states, you actually have to have an enforceable law on the books to let people know that there are some things you just cannot do   (newschannel9.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Sexual abuse of a corpse, Child abuse, felony  
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4696 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2021 at 10:36 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-03-08 10:23:41 PM  
"I'm sorry, your honor, I thought she was just being a dead lay".
 
2021-03-08 10:39:23 PM  
Well, there goes date night at the UT body farm.
 
2021-03-08 10:40:06 PM  
Tennessee making progress!
 
2021-03-08 10:42:04 PM  
They didn't think it was a problem or didn't think it was a problem?
 
2021-03-08 10:42:05 PM  

Begoggle: Tennessee making progress!


It's hard to believe that this isn't a law there already.
 
2021-03-08 10:42:08 PM  
Making love doggie style .. I sit up and beg , she just lays there playing dead ..
 
2021-03-08 10:43:46 PM  
And what about date rape?
Spousal rape?
And how about in the number 2 when you had only permission for number 1?

/
My point is we don't protect the living people this thoroughly.
 
2021-03-08 10:44:41 PM  
Damnit! Laws like this take all the romance out of necromance.
 
2021-03-08 10:44:47 PM  
You never want a law named after you but, cripes, definitely not for this.
 
2021-03-08 10:45:05 PM  
See also, California.

"There was no sign saying I COULDN'T power-wash my dog's butt at a car wash!"
 
2021-03-08 10:47:39 PM  
Too bad Saul Goodman is only license to practice law in New Mexico
 
2021-03-08 10:47:41 PM  
Just need to reanimator her first, then it's cool.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 10:47:46 PM  
I feel if the owner consents and wills their body to you,that should be an exception.

The weirdest part about human obsession with the sanctity of our corpses is that most modern religious have the whole but with a soul moving on and going elsewhere.

If the soul leaves the body behind, it's just a pile of rotting flesh.
 
2021-03-08 10:47:57 PM  

0z79: See also, California.

"There was no sign saying I COULDN'T power-wash my dog's butt at a car wash!"


Did that kill the dog?
Because there's been times where I've been tempted to get washed at a car wash.
 
2021-03-08 10:48:05 PM  
Who doesn't want to break open a cold one now and then?

...apologies...
 
2021-03-08 10:52:16 PM  

Begoggle: Tennessee making progress!


Still no thumbs though.
 
2021-03-08 10:53:02 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


Felony? It's just a Petty crime.
 
2021-03-08 10:55:18 PM  
Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.
 
2021-03-08 10:56:12 PM  

gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.


Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed?
 
2021-03-08 11:00:01 PM  

waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.

Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed?


If I notice them doing it to me, then I'm not dead, am I? I think that knowledge would come as a pleasant surprise.
 
2021-03-08 11:00:02 PM  

waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.

Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed?


I'll be dead. Not a real concern.
 
2021-03-08 11:01:02 PM  
So what did that guy do all day at work, walk around and occasionally check the storage room to see if there were any cold hotties in there? Did he have a girlfriend and if so did she perform an oral sex act on him later that day not knowing where his penis has been? You know what, I don't even want to think about it.
 
2021-03-08 11:01:49 PM  

aagrajag: waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.

Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed?

If I notice them doing it to me, then I'm not dead, am I? I think that knowledge would come as a pleasant surprise.


🤔😂💩
 
2021-03-08 11:02:58 PM  

Birnone: So what did that guy do all day at work, walk around and occasionally check the storage room to see if there were any cold hotties in there? Did he have a girlfriend and if so did she perform an oral sex act on him later that day not knowing where his penis has been? You know what, I don't even want to think about it.


This reminds me about the HIV joke about people that bone monkeys don't also bone people.
 
2021-03-08 11:04:20 PM  

Birnone: So what did that guy do all day at work, walk around and occasionally check the storage room to see if there were any cold hotties in there? Did he have a girlfriend and if so did she perform an oral sex act on him later that day not knowing where his penis has been? You know what, I don't even want to think about it.


You think he'd crack open a cold one at the office?
 
2021-03-08 11:04:56 PM  

waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.

Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed?


I would be absolutely horrified if that ever happened to me or a loved one. Being in Tennessee, that is.

Necrophilia is also something to be avoided.
 
2021-03-08 11:06:56 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 11:07:26 PM  

gunsmack: waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc. Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed? I'll be dead. Not a real concern.


What if there are just things as ghosts and you have to stand around watching your corpse get violated by some perverted medical examiner? I watch TV, the MEs are always creeps. They're never hot girls.
 
2021-03-08 11:08:13 PM  
Well, that's kinda the basis of American jurisprudence.  If it isn't against the law, it's legal.

The horror.
 
2021-03-08 11:08:26 PM  
YUCK, JUST, YUCKA!
 
2021-03-08 11:09:22 PM  
Was she hot? Or even room temperature?

/could've been worse, at least he didn't go down on her
 
2021-03-08 11:10:40 PM  

Mugato: gunsmack: waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc. Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed? I'll be dead. Not a real concern.

What if there are just things as ghosts and you have to stand around watching your corpse get violated by some perverted medical examiner? I watch TV, the MEs are always creeps. They're never hot girls.


There's actually some logistical problems vis a vis putrefaction with hot morgues, so they try to only ever hire cool and cold folks.
 
2021-03-08 11:12:44 PM  

ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: Well, that's kinda the basis of American jurisprudence.  If it isn't against the law, it's legal.

The horror.


This
 
2021-03-08 11:17:10 PM  
 
2021-03-08 11:25:05 PM  

Mugato: gunsmack: waxbeans: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc. Victimless? Would you want this done to you or a departed? I'll be dead. Not a real concern.

What if there are just things as ghosts and you have to stand around watching your corpse get violated by some perverted medical examiner? I watch TV, the MEs are always creeps. They're never hot girls.


Fark user imageView Full Size

Begs to differ...
 
2021-03-08 11:26:04 PM  

gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.


If drunk people can't consent then dead people certainly can't either.
 
2021-03-08 11:28:21 PM  

LiberalConservative: gunsmack: Where's the harm?...victimless crime, etc.

If drunk people can't consent then dead people certainly can't either.


They're dead, so they're no longer a person.
 
2021-03-08 11:38:53 PM  

ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: .

They're dead, so they're no longer a person.


Wait. So does that mean it's legal to smear semen anywhere I want?
As long as it's publicly accessible?
 
2021-03-08 11:39:54 PM  
What if you have consensual sex with a zombie? Technically she's dead but looks like this

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 11:49:56 PM  
Elaine Chao has a problem with this.
 
2021-03-08 11:50:48 PM  

waxbeans: 0z79: See also, California.

"There was no sign saying I COULDN'T power-wash my dog's butt at a car wash!"

Did that kill the dog?
Because there's been times where I've been tempted to get washed at a car wash.


Dog was fine, they stopped at the half-way click. Pressure not enough to rupture their hiney-tubes.

I'm only thinking of it because my brother was washing my dad's Scottish terrier.. had a clump of poo under doggo's tail, so my brother clicked the shower head to high-pressure, cranked the water full-blast hot and tried to blast the mess clear, without having to touch it.

Dad and I were coming in, just in time to hear the "BAAA-RRROOOOO!!" of distress. Dad goes running back, yelling "What the hell are ya doin' to my dog!?" I caught up eventually, just in time to hear little bro trying to explain himself.. then dad started in on him again, full-blown SW Texas drawl and I'm rolling.

Plus, y'know... Fark article, many moons ago.
 
2021-03-08 11:51:08 PM  

waxbeans: ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: .

They're dead, so they're no longer a person.

Wait. So does that mean it's legal to smear semen anywhere I want?
As long as it's publicly accessible?


Never was a person, so that falls under BBP regs, and yes - semen is under BBP regs at a minimum since it could carry blood, and could effect a living person.
 
2021-03-08 11:53:32 PM  

0z79: See also, California.

"There was no sign saying I COULDN'T power-wash my dog's butt at a car wash!"


Exactly, so it's legal.

Firing the pressure tube up the dogs rectum is animal cruelty, but specifically washing your dogs brown starfish is wholly legal.
 
2021-03-08 11:56:52 PM  
My older stepbrother often told me, out of the blue, "You should become a mortician. Because the statute of limitations for molesting a corpse is only 2 years." The first time he said that, I just assumed it was some weird sick joke. But the second and third times he told me, out of the blue, unrelated to what I was saying....   Then he became a cop.
 
2021-03-08 11:57:07 PM  

ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: 0z79: See also, California.

"There was no sign saying I COULDN'T power-wash my dog's butt at a car wash!"

Exactly, so it's legal.

Firing the pressure tube up the dogs rectum is animal cruelty, but specifically washing your dogs brown starfish is wholly legal.


I just riff on California 'cause people ask me if I'm from there... I've never stepped foot in the State.
 
2021-03-08 11:59:42 PM  

waxbeans: And what about date rape?
Spousal rape?
And how about in the number 2 when you had only permission for number 1?

/
My point is we don't protect the living people this thoroughly.


my wife says she's gonna get some once the rigor mortis sets in.  Is she joking or do I need to plant explosives on my weiner, wire to a heart monitor, and hope the thing never slips off?
 
2021-03-09 12:03:34 AM  
Odd seeing people in this thread defending this guy for having sex with dead people.
Whether you think it's a victimless crime or not, you have to admit, it's really farking weird.
 
2021-03-09 12:03:56 AM  

kdawg7736: Begoggle: Tennessee making progress!

It's hard to believe that this isn't a law there already.


In Florida they had to create a law specifically making it illegal to have sex with dolphins. Like in the past 10 years or so.

It's always one guy who ruins it for everyone else.
 
2021-03-09 12:06:48 AM  

Spice Must Flow: My older stepbrother often told me, out of the blue, "You should become a mortician. Because the statute of limitations for molesting a corpse is only 2 years." The first time he said that, I just assumed it was some weird sick joke. But the second and third times he told me, out of the blue, unrelated to what I was saying....   Then he became a cop.


Yea that's not concerning at ALL.

Your stepbrother is going to be on fark one day in a story about getting caught farking a murder victim.
 
2021-03-09 12:07:50 AM  

abhorrent1: Odd seeing people in this thread defending this guy for having sex with dead people.
Whether you think it's a victimless crime or not, you have to admit, it's really farking weird.


Look, she didn't say no.

But yeah, I don't think I'd want someone farking me when I'm deceased. Namely because I don't think it's fair to get more action after I'm dead than I am while I'm alive.
 
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