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(Washington Post)   "Cow cuddling." It's not just your mom's Discreet Encounters ad headline anymore   (washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, NATO, Suzanne Vullers, offer hour-long sessions, Congress of Vienna, 33-acre Mountain Horse Farm, Italy, Naples, Netherlands  
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1373 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2021 at 3:03 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



38 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-08 11:37:37 AM  
One shake of its head and that horn is going thru your neck dude.
washingtonpost.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 3:05:50 PM  
This is your mom's new ad headline:

external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 3:08:05 PM  
COME HERE FOR MORE CUDDLES!

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2021-03-08 3:10:17 PM  

Ambitwistor: COME HERE FOR MORE CUDDLES!

[Fark user image 425x319]


Dammit!

Beat me to the ass-punch. :P

I was going to append something like: Caution! Indiscriminate Cattle-Cuddling Could Result in Contracting a Cornada in your Culero."
 
2021-03-08 3:11:00 PM  
Who doesn't love some big ol' milkers?
 
2021-03-08 3:15:35 PM  
Those look like they'd be really cuddly with some A1 sauce and a side of mashed potatoes.
 
2021-03-08 3:16:41 PM  

Chemlight Battery: Those look like they'd be really cuddly with some A1 sauce and a side of mashed potatoes.


now i'm hungry
 
2021-03-08 3:17:47 PM  

Ambitwistor: COME HERE FOR MORE CUDDLES!

[Fark user image image 425x319]


That cow looks like a pain in the ass tbh.
 
2021-03-08 3:18:09 PM  
So, Cow Clicker was the gateway to this.
 
2021-03-08 3:18:30 PM  
WHAT HAPPENS IN WISCONSIN IS SUPPOSED TO STAY IN WISCONSIN
 
2021-03-08 3:18:59 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 3:19:40 PM  
AKA Stump training.
 
2021-03-08 3:22:36 PM  
Cow Cud Is a Twin
Youtube 7QHwdDRwUoc
 
2021-03-08 3:25:32 PM  

Chemlight Battery: Those look like they'd be really cuddly with some A1 sauce and a side of mashed potatoes.


Dude! Nasty! You want it well done with a side of catchup as well?

/Mashed potatoes are cool though
 
2021-03-08 3:34:28 PM  
Moo means Moo
 
2021-03-08 3:40:08 PM  
Jesus Christ people!  Get a dog or volunteer at a shelter. Don't pay $75/hour to annoy a cow.
 
2021-03-08 3:40:12 PM  
And, just when the vaccine was starting to work covid mysteriously started spreading by milk and steak...
 
2021-03-08 3:46:04 PM  
Cow cuddling has become a thing

No, it hasn't.
 
2021-03-08 3:50:07 PM  

abhorrent1: Cow cuddling has become a thing

No, it hasn't.


Sounds like a bunch of bull.
 
2021-03-08 3:51:32 PM  

Walker: One shake of its head and that horn is going thru your neck dude.


Usually, if a cow has horns, it's a show animal or a pet, and so more human-habituated and less likely to attack.  Dairy cows often have their horn buds removed when they're calves to prevent them from injuring other cows.  Also, you don't get much milk out of a bloody horn.

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Cuddly, but not actually a cow.
 
2021-03-08 3:52:11 PM  
Cow cuddling sounds kind of dangerous. Shouldn't you get out of there as soon as your done lest the farmer catch you?
 
2021-03-08 3:52:33 PM  
On the way home they stop for hamburgers.


Nice, use the cow for emotional support then eat her distant cousins on the way home.


Yes, I know most meat comes from steer.
 
2021-03-08 3:55:55 PM  
This pleases me.
Grazing cows rush to listen to accordion music
Youtube IypL_EcI9XE
 
2021-03-08 3:58:45 PM  
Cows kill more people every year than sharks and wolves.
 
2021-03-08 4:45:21 PM  

danceswithcrows: Walker: One shake of its head and that horn is going thru your neck dude.

Usually, if a cow has horns, it's a show animal or a pet, and so more human-habituated and less likely to attack.  Dairy cows often have their horn buds removed when they're calves to prevent them from injuring other cows.  Also, you don't get much milk out of a bloody horn.

[Fark user image image 236x354]

Cuddly, but not actually a cow.


Welp, didn't take long for this to turn into one of those threads...

Fine, here's my contribution:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 4:50:09 PM  

Farce-Side: Cows kill more people every year than sharks and wolves.


To be fair, people don't usually handle large herds of sharks and wolves or try to maneuver them into pens or milking machines.  I mean, sharks don't give milk, and there's just not a big market for wolf milk these days, ya know?

Fark user imageView Full Size


Also not an actual cow.
 
2021-03-08 4:50:43 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-08 5:24:04 PM  
Its actually a nice experience. They love getting their heads scratched,
 
2021-03-08 6:19:48 PM  
Brown chicken brown cow!
 
2021-03-08 6:26:07 PM  
"Renee Behinfar lives alone in Scottsdale, Ariz. The pandemic has been painfully isolating for her and has left her longing for warmth and touch. "

I can be on a plane as soon as tonight, lady.  Then I have to quarantine somewhere for two weeks and not leave the house.  I can telecommute.
 
2021-03-08 7:28:56 PM  
Hubby's Family has a small dairy (eldest brother & his son own 50%, remainder owned by rest of Family until they buy us investors out). Hubby thinks cows are "cute" & occasionally mentions having one as a pet. I remind him he kvetches when he goes gathering poop from our 20 lb Jackhound (Jack Russell/Dachshund mix, adopted from shelter after being abandoned in the country @6 mos old when the new wore off) in the designated, small and fenced "dogyard" we've set aside for him. That shuts him up for a while.

Our annual interest on the loan to BiL includes 3% interest (he's family, it was in a period when 7-8% was the norm) & a half-cow & a half-pig in the freezer. Everybody's happy with the terms.

Pet cow, my tuchus. Go to the dairy & hug dinner.
 
2021-03-08 9:14:45 PM  
Isn't too much proximity to animals how we got into this quarantine mess in the first place?  Won't people ever learn?

You want a cuddly friend?  Get a cat, dog, bunny, ferret, guinea pig or hamster.  Maybe even a "fancy" rat.  That's it.  Those are your choices.  Chinchillas don't like contact and everything else - sugar gliders, lemurs, and the like - aren't domesticated and don't belong with people.

Cows & pigs are meat, sheep are wool-factories, and horses - while I have seen how much they enjoy human attention - are working animals.  Unless it's your job to produce steak, pork chops, sweaters, or... whatever we use horses for in the 21st century, stay the heck away.

And for pete's sake, if you ever find yourself in front of a deer or a bison or something, don't try to pet the damned thing.  I thinks you're trying to hurt it and it will kill you immediately.  And in the case of the deer, it will apparently then rip the bones from your carcass and devour them...  Deer got issues, apparently.
 
2021-03-08 9:44:48 PM  

TheOtherGuy: whatever we use horses for in the 21st century


I bet your favorite salsa is made in New York City
 
2021-03-08 10:00:58 PM  

Chemlight Battery: TheOtherGuy: whatever we use horses for in the 21st century

I bet your favorite salsa is made in New York City


Don't be silly.  I get my vegetables in the form of french fries and ketchup (but not at the same time; mayo is for fries), like a Real American.

/ Yes, I'm kidding
// But, so was the original post
/// And that apparently went over some heads, so here we are...
 
2021-03-08 10:51:52 PM  

leeksfromchichis: [cow_mugshot.jpg]


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...Please note that sexy cow girls might kick you senseless if you're a jerk.
 
2021-03-09 6:07:34 AM  

leeksfromchichis: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 705x435]


Moonshot?
 
2021-03-09 1:06:29 PM  

TheOtherGuy: Isn't too much proximity to animals how we got into this quarantine mess in the first place?  Won't people ever learn?

You want a cuddly friend?  Get a cat, dog, bunny, ferret, guinea pig or hamster.  Maybe even a "fancy" rat.  That's it.  Those are your choices.  Chinchillas don't like contact and everything else - sugar gliders, lemurs, and the like - aren't domesticated and don't belong with people.

Cows & pigs are meat, sheep are wool-factories, and horses - while I have seen how much they enjoy human attention - are working animals.  Unless it's your job to produce steak, pork chops, sweaters, or... whatever we use horses for in the 21st century, stay the heck away.

And for pete's sake, if you ever find yourself in front of a deer or a bison or something, don't try to pet the damned thing.  I thinks you're trying to hurt it and it will kill you immediately.  And in the case of the deer, it will apparently then rip the bones from your carcass and devour them...  Deer got issues, apparently.


Eating bats or pangolins is how we got into this (or, I still say [& I'm not a conspiracy nutter] it was purposely released to quell the Hong Kong uprising & kill the Uyghurs) so what's the difference between eating those & cattle? Or having either one as a pet?

Hell, you can't even donate blood or plasma if you were in Europe during a certain timeframe because of Mad-Cow disease. Dude I worked with was in the Army & stationed in Germany. He admitted (not knowing why they were asking) & ended up on a national blacklist preventing him from donating blood or plasma. Despite being O Neg.
 
2021-03-09 1:56:42 PM  

Robinfro: Eating bats or pangolins is how we got into this (or, I still say [& I'm not a conspiracy nutter] it was purposely released to quell the Hong Kong uprising & kill the Uyghurs) so what's the difference between eating those & cattle? Or having either one as a pet?


The whole post was mostly just intended to be funny, but, I'd like to address some of your points:

- If the CCP had intended a bioweapon to kill the Uyghurs, they wouldn't be spending so much time, effort, and resources doing it the old fashioned way.  The point is to spare you the "manual" genocide, not that it works since contagious bioweapons almost always tend to spread out of control.

- IIRC some high-ranking CCP members have died of COVID-19,which you wouldn't see if they were behind it.  They'd have made sure they were protected before pulling the trigger.

- It's not as much the actual consumption of those animals as the prolonged, regular, repeated contact between animals and humans.  And, yes, there's a lot of similarities between an Asian "wet market" and factory farms elsewhere.  Poultry are a huge reservoir for cross-species pathogens, viruses included among them, and farmers can have tens of thousands of birds at any given time.  Those transmission events occur because of the farmers tending to their livestock (in vast numbers; this is statistics we're arguing, not that you'll drop dead the first time you touch a cow).

- The Asian example is much worse because you're talking about animals poached from wild populations, not livestock, or, at the very least, illegally farmed animals in far-too-crowded conditions producing far too many infection events for any pathogens present, drastically increasing the statistics involved.  More pathogens in closer quarters, the increased likelihood of some "out of left field" human-transferrable pathogen not yet known to medicine, etc.

- Of course, not much of this really matters anyway, since habitat destruction totally separate from animal husbandry, forces animals that are infection reservoirs into close contact with people who aren't breeding, buying, selling, butchering or eating them anyway...

- As for pets, this is, of course, one good reason why vets tell you to vaccinate them and get them checked out, as well as to not let them roam unattended.  The statistics are on your side there, though, because it's a rare household that has more than a handfull of pets, vs a herd of 1,000 cattle or a truck full of 200 pangolins, etc.
 
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