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(Palm Beach Post)   Husband: You'll never find my wife's body. Police: You forget what state we are in Florida man. Challenge accepted   (palmbeachpost.com) divider line
    More: Florida  
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9002 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Mar 2021 at 1:20 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-03-06 9:50:24 PM  
70 votes:
...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"
 
2021-03-06 11:11:51 PM  
51 votes:

TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.


I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.
 
2021-03-06 10:48:05 PM  
48 votes:
Meanwhile, Gomez-Mulett sounds like a member of the trailer park Addams family.
 
2021-03-07 2:17:40 AM  
45 votes:
"Later that afternoon, someone called police to report finding a bloody purse,"

I know you're excited about finding it, but there's no need to use that kind of language, mate.
 
2021-03-07 1:47:15 AM  
28 votes:

pjbreeze: Well at least he didn't put her in the freezer.


This wasn't a cold case.
 
2021-03-06 10:36:35 PM  
27 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 1:41:35 AM  
22 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 4:43:57 AM  
19 votes:

phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.


Will you please stop mentioning it over friendly poker games?!
 
2021-03-07 8:35:16 AM  
15 votes:

Resident Muslim: phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.

Will you please stop mentioning it over friendly poker games?!


"Hey steve....wondering if i can borrow some of your tools.....my wife's car....."
"You know....i have a 1/4 of an acre of swampland, with gators, under water half the day......."
"Steve, i just need a 9mm socket...."
 
2021-03-07 9:33:42 AM  
13 votes:

ChubbyTiger: Gotta ask, why? I'd get owning a huge chunk of swamp, but 1/4 acre? What can you do with it?



Evidently you can use it to dispose of dead bodies.  Haven't you been paying attention?

I live in Vegas, so we just drive out into the desert and dig a hole.


"A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all farkin' night."
 
2021-03-07 2:25:12 AM  
13 votes:

Fear the Clam: Meanwhile, Gomez-Mulett sounds like a member of the trailer park Addams family.


Cousin It rocks the mullet in that trailer park!
 
2021-03-07 2:43:35 AM  
8 votes:

phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.


Hope you didn't pay too much for that land.
 
2021-03-07 10:36:54 AM  
7 votes:

Snargi: SloppyFrenchKisser: [i.pinimg.com image 733x616]

Some meth head stole a trumpet out of my car and then tried to sell it to the same music store I had bought it from. He ran out of the store when the owner set the horn behind the counter and said I know who owns this turmpet. trumpet.


/I have a hard time spelling anything with trump in it.

 
2021-03-07 4:46:24 AM  
7 votes:

cyberspacedout: pjbreeze: Well at least he didn't put her in the freezer.

This wasn't a cold case.


But it was open and shut.
 
2021-03-07 4:45:16 AM  
7 votes:

phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.


Oh, and if it's under water half the time and has a high gator population, I'd argue that you just own a piece of paper titled "deed".
 
2021-03-07 11:02:11 AM  
5 votes:
And honestly i think german engineers chose that size just because its what everyone loses.

Hanz: "what size should we use for this?"
Fritz: "It doesn't matter. Lets go with 9mm, everyone loses those or buys a cheap set without them. Teaches them to pay more attention to their tools"
 
2021-03-07 8:54:16 AM  
5 votes:
Police booked Roberto Colon

Spelled Roberto :
 
2021-03-07 8:52:16 AM  
5 votes:

ChubbyTiger: phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.

Gotta ask, why? I'd get owning a huge chunk of swamp, but 1/4 acre? What can you do with it?


The guy has been married five times, but pays no alimony.  That 1/4 acre has paid for itself many times over! ;)
 
2021-03-07 3:54:21 AM  
5 votes:

Gyrfalcon: "But...but how did you know?!?"


"My cunning plan! How could it fail?"
 
2021-03-07 11:59:21 AM  
4 votes:

Snargi: Snargi: SloppyFrenchKisser: [i.pinimg.com image 733x616]

Some meth head stole a trumpet out of my car and then tried to sell it to the same music store I had bought it from. He ran out of the store when the owner set the horn behind the counter and said I know who owns this turmpet. trumpet.


/I have a hard time spelling anything with trump in it.


But putting your lips on it is ok?
 
2021-03-07 8:37:08 AM  
4 votes:
Police booked Roberto Colon, 66, into jail after midnight Saturday, charged with the first-degree murder of his wife, Mary Stella Gomez-Mulett, who was 44.

Not only did his wife have the same name as a redneck hairdo, his is the same as a large intestine.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 3:52:26 AM  
4 votes:
"But...but how did you know?!?"
 
2021-03-07 8:57:45 AM  
3 votes:
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 8:44:44 AM  
3 votes:
Anyone know where Melania is these days?
 
2021-03-07 8:43:34 AM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 7:45:14 AM  
3 votes:
F*cking wussies who can't dismember and incinerate bodies, or think to drop the bits into multiple construction sites. Heck, if he had a buddy with a pizza oven he could have taken care of that little problem in a night, and swept up the ashes down the dishwasher's drain.

Just sayin'.
 
2021-03-07 5:09:01 AM  
3 votes:

Resident Muslim: phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.

Oh, and if it's under water half the time and has a high gator population, I'd argue that you just own a piece of paper titled "deed".


The key is that no one else has a paper titled "deed" for the same spot
 
2021-03-07 5:08:03 AM  
3 votes:

LordJiro: I hope someone informed him that, even if he actually hid the body so well that nobody could find it, quite a few people have been convicted of murders without ever finding the bodies.


Maybe he thinks the courts take "habeas corpus" literally
 
2021-03-06 9:55:12 PM  
3 votes:

Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"


Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.
 
2021-03-07 7:24:46 AM  
2 votes:
He always thought she was a treasure
 
2021-03-07 1:43:18 AM  
2 votes:
Well at least he didn't put her in the freezer.
 
2021-03-07 1:39:30 AM  
2 votes:

Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"


True.  Because once you find the body you stop looking for it.  It was just a unfortunate  for this [alleged]  murdering shiatbag and funny to me that  it was also probably the very first place they looked after the house.
 
2021-03-07 9:01:14 PM  
1 vote:

ChubbyTiger: phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.

Gotta ask, why? I'd get owning a huge chunk of swamp, but 1/4 acre? What can you do with it?


I inherited it.  It used to be a big-ass piece of land, but the family had a couple generations of that "every person of each generation gets an equal slice" bullshiat.  So, know I have a useless 1/4 acre.  It costs me $7/year in property taxes - and only because that ends up being the county's minimum.  I'm tempted to just stop paying the property tax and let the county have it - but being able to make the terrible "I can gator a corpse for you" joke is so far worth it.
 
2021-03-07 1:56:54 PM  
1 vote:
Before reading I honestly wouldn't have guessed the backyard. I'd assume that's high on the list of places they'd look, but not that he was dumb enough to do that. Guess he showed me.
 
2021-03-07 1:11:16 PM  
1 vote:

OtherLittleGuy: Anyone know where Melania is these days?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-07 10:59:03 AM  
1 vote:

Doctor Poop: LineNoise: Resident Muslim: phalamir: TommyDeuce: Cafe Threads: ...investigators found her remains in his backyard.

"That's the last place they'll look!"

Yeah, you live in a place with swamps full of gators, an ocean full of sharks and crabs and such and you hide the corpse in your OWN BACK YARD and then taunt the cops about never finding it?

farking moron.

I actually own a 1/4 acre of swampland in North Florida that is underwater at least 12 hours a day - I have offered it's "use" to friends.  They usually roll their eyes until I show them where it is on a map and mention the gator concentration.  Then I get less eyerolling and more side-eye.

Will you please stop mentioning it over friendly poker games?!

"Hey steve....wondering if i can borrow some of your tools.....my wife's car....."
"You know....i have a 1/4 of an acre of swampland, with gators, under water half the day......."
"Steve, i just need a 9mm socket...."

Wtf kind of car has 9mm hardware literally anywhere?


I pulled the number out of my ass, but its always what is missing when i go to look for it.

One of my cars is german, the other is more or less german with an american nameplate.

Its mainly trim shiat.
 
2021-03-07 10:21:07 AM  
1 vote:

big pig peaches: If the guy admitted there's a body to find, isn't that a confession?


According to the article, he said "At least you didn't find a body" after they found some weed.

If a cop found a joint in my car, and I said, "Well, at least you didn't find 500 pounds of cocaine"... I mean... It would be a stupid thing to say. It might lead to the cop searching some more, but it isn't the same as my saying that I have 500 pounds of cocaine in my car.
 
2021-03-07 3:06:07 AM  
1 vote:
I used to love her, but I had to kill her
I used to love her, ooh yeah but I had to kill her
She biatched so much, she drove me nuts
And now I'm happier this way
Whoa oh yeah,

I knew I'd miss her,
So I had to keep her,
She's buried right in my back yard.
Yo a yo!
 
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