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(Daily Star)   'God of Chaos' asteroid due to hit Earth in 2068 and detonate chemical mayhem upon us all. Or not   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, Solar System, Planet, Comet, Asteroid, space rock, University of Hawaii astronomer, Jupiter, Harvard scientists  
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2511 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Mar 2021 at 10:02 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



70 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-03-06 7:37:40 AM  
Or not.

At least this pass should be the last we hear about that rock for the next 15 years.
 
2021-03-06 10:04:53 AM  
The Mi-Go will allow it to hit, or not, as suits their nefarious plans.
 
2021-03-06 10:05:22 AM  
Still preferable to__________?

1) 2020
2) the love story in Twilight
3) More years of 45
4) All of the above
 
2021-03-06 10:06:00 AM  
I'll be long dead. Let it hit and kill President (Baron) Trump.
 
2021-03-06 10:06:15 AM  
Whew, thank goodness it's peanut shaped. I live in perpetual fear of civilization-destroying asteroids shaped like lima beans.
 
2021-03-06 10:07:38 AM  
If I am still alive in 2068, I'd probably want this to land on me, since going on 89 years old is good enough.
 
2021-03-06 10:09:39 AM  

ImpendingCynic: Whew, thank goodness it's peanut shaped. I live in perpetual fear of civilization-destroying asteroids shaped like lima beans.


You are lucky your fears are so specific.  Mine are similar, but in relation to legumes in general.  Peanut, lima, whatever.
 
2021-03-06 10:10:03 AM  
I too will be long dead:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 10:10:38 AM  
Soooo...  is there a way we could speed this up?
 
2021-03-06 10:11:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 10:11:43 AM  
bUt aLL cHeMiCaLs aRe nAtUrAL
 
2021-03-06 10:11:59 AM  
Come on, the earth is wide open and ready for those red hot balls of fire RIGHT NOW DAMMIT.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 10:15:08 AM  
If I make it to 107 years old, this is how I want to go!
 
2021-03-06 10:15:32 AM  

Closed_Minded_Bastage: I too will be long dead:

[Fark user image image 320x212]


I'll be a young and sprightly 93, and if my current mood is any indication at all, 100% down and ready to welcome our new peanut-shaped apocalyptic overlord.
 
2021-03-06 10:16:04 AM  
No consideration for those of us who are long tired of this "human civilization" shiat show.
 
2021-03-06 10:18:02 AM  
Well, at least it's not The God of Fark Deep Impactor.
 
2021-03-06 10:19:21 AM  
If I'm still alive when that thing hits, I'll join some other Farkers at the expected impact site. A pretty good way to say farewell to this dirt ball.
 
2021-03-06 10:21:24 AM  
Could be the universe has has enough of Earth's shiat... don't want humans spreading beyond their mudball.
 
2021-03-06 10:22:56 AM  

jayfurr: The Mi-Go will allow it to hit, or not, as suits their nefarious plans.


I always thought the Mi-Go were not really that bad on the whole. Generally speaking they didn't screw with most populations. Just like a dude here and there.
 
2021-03-06 10:24:52 AM  

Bowen: [Fark user image image 425x239]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 10:25:42 AM  
Sounds like y'all's problem.
I should (hopefully) be dead by then.

Happy Armageddon to y'all.

Millennials and Z'ers are already just barely one step above cannibals.
So the first day that avocadoes aren't available it's long pig time.
 
2021-03-06 10:25:45 AM  
I volunteer to make out with Milla Jovovich and save the planet.

It's a tough job but somebody has to do it.
 
2021-03-06 10:26:02 AM  

Bowen: [Fark user image 425x239]


Just watched him die on the table an hour ago, so I'm getting a kick....
 
2021-03-06 10:30:28 AM  
I'm betting not.

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2021-03-06 10:38:42 AM  
Don't give me hope.
 
2021-03-06 10:46:35 AM  
I think it's a rule that tabloids have to publish an Apophis article every year when it passes.
 
amb
2021-03-06 10:55:19 AM  

ImpendingCynic: Whew, thank goodness it's peanut shaped. I live in perpetual fear of civilization-destroying asteroids shaped like lima beans.


Um about that peanut shape. It looks a bit more butter bean shaped to me.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 10:55:30 AM  

casual disregard: jayfurr: The Mi-Go will allow it to hit, or not, as suits their nefarious plans.

I always thought the Mi-Go were not really that bad on the whole. Generally speaking they didn't screw with most populations. Just like a dude here and there.


Depends on whether you go by just Lovecraft's own works or the wider Cthulhu mythos contributed by other authors.  In "The Whisperer In Darkness", agreed, they did mess with the random individual here and there.
 
2021-03-06 10:55:55 AM  
I wonder whether millions of morons will refuse to wear their asteroid hats because it's all a hoax
 
2021-03-06 11:12:16 AM  
The impact would be equivalent to 880 million tons of trinitrotoluene (TNT), an explosive material, exploding all at once.

...an explosive material, exploding [detonating] all at once.

I guess it's a pet peeve to dislike the unnecessary use of the same word in a sentence unnecessarily when another word will do though it's not necessarily necessary.
 
2021-03-06 11:14:42 AM  

Weird Hal: The impact would be equivalent to 880 million tons of trinitrotoluene (TNT), an explosive material, exploding all at once.

...an explosive material, exploding [detonating] all at once.

I guess it's a pet peeve to dislike the unnecessary use of the same word in a sentence unnecessarily when another word will do though it's not necessarily necessary.


The Department of Redundancy Department would like a word...
 
2021-03-06 11:16:52 AM  
I'll be long dead and don't have any kids that I know of. I'll feel bad for my friends' kids but Shirley by then they'll have some way of destroying it or altering its course.

We're not a lazy species when it comes to space stuff and definitely not lazy when it comes to blowing shiat up. Not like those loser dinosaurs.
 
2021-03-06 11:17:00 AM  
"They feared that the 1,200ft asteroid had a nearly 1-in-30 chance of hitting Earth in 2029 and also in 2036 before both were later ruled out by NASA."

So they instead picked a date far enough out that the extreme error margin scenario allowed for a 0.0002% chance of intercept so NASA couldn't say it was also ruled out...
 
2021-03-06 11:20:19 AM  

Walker: I'll be long dead. Let it hit and kill President (Baron) Trump.


The god of chaos hemorrhoid will do that, and much sooner than 2068.
 
2021-03-06 11:42:36 AM  
I love the "chemical" part. This seems to reference the fact that it contains minerals, ie rock
 
2021-03-06 11:47:10 AM  

Weird Hal: The impact would be equivalent to 880 million tons of trinitrotoluene (TNT), an explosive material, exploding all at once.

...an explosive material, exploding [detonating] all at once.

I guess it's a pet peeve to dislike the unnecessary use of the same word in a sentence unnecessarily when another word will do though it's not necessarily necessary.


You forgot to add one more 'necessary' at the end, per Fark rules.
 
2021-03-06 11:47:11 AM  
This asteroid has good marketing.
 
2021-03-06 11:58:55 AM  
Hehehe. That's not the asteroid you need to worry about.

The asteroid you need to worry about are the ones we haven't spotted yet, but are on their way. You can't reason with them. You can't bargain with them.

But they're on their way.

It would be really helpful if we had an aggressive program to try and find these things. But "whatever" man. That stinks of "effort". So, try to act surprised when we have our "wake up" moment. "Oh wow, we never expected this to happen". "It's a once in a thousand year moment"... And so on. Yup, it sure is. But once in a thousand years happens once every, well, once in a thousand years.

And that could be tomorrow.
 
2021-03-06 12:09:16 PM  

bluorangefyre: If I am still alive in 2068, I'd probably want this to land on me, since going on 89 years old is good enough.


Your last year would also suck, seeing as society collapsed in the knowledge of the world being wiped out in a few years.
 
2021-03-06 12:14:06 PM  
I award the writer no points, and may God have mercy on their soul.
 
2021-03-06 12:20:35 PM  
"He gave the chances as one in 380,000"

It's almost like the Daily Star is one of Britain's worst newspapers ( a crowded market).
 
2021-03-06 12:27:05 PM  
You know what would be cool? If they made a movie about an asteroid hurling towards earth. That's an untapped creative resource right there.
 
2021-03-06 12:27:54 PM  
2068?

<look at calendar>

Not my problem
 
2021-03-06 12:33:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 12:37:22 PM  
Why did they name it to sound like some X-Box game?
 
2021-03-06 12:41:13 PM  
My first thought was "which god of chaos?"  I'm guessing Tzeentch figured out a way to take out the emperor before he exists, and conned Khorne into pulling the trigger by promising him all the skulls.
 
2021-03-06 12:57:32 PM  

Mugato: You know what would be cool? If they made a movie about an asteroid hurling towards earth. That's an untapped creative resource right there.


So, get this....
It's an asteroid shaped exactly like a volleyball. Because of the asteroid's space-chemicals, weapons cannot destroy it and its course can only be deflected by other volleyballs. (With a montage it will make sense.)

After a lengthy zero-g tournament against the cosmic volleyball, the badly defeated Swedish Bikini Team has to forgive old grudges to kiss and make up with their ancient rivals, The Ginger Snaps, to recruit all the best teams from around the globe to unite against a common threat.

Like an epic Battle of Five Armies, but with volleyball. In space. With lots of educational facts about asteroids, space-chemicals, and bikinis.
 
2021-03-06 1:15:23 PM  
I'll be dead, so Meh.
 
2021-03-06 1:17:18 PM  

oyster_popsicles: Bowen: [Fark user image image 425x239]

[Fark user image image 425x636]


Yoink!
 
2021-03-06 1:18:51 PM  

Spice Must Flow: Mugato: You know what would be cool? If they made a movie about an asteroid hurling towards earth. That's an untapped creative resource right there. So, get this.... It's an asteroid shaped exactly like a volleyball. Because of the asteroid's space-chemicals, weapons cannot destroy it and its course can only be deflected by other volleyballs. (With a montage it will make sense.) After a lengthy zero-g tournament against the cosmic volleyball, the badly defeated Swedish Bikini Team has to forgive old grudges to kiss and make up with their ancient rivals, The Ginger Snaps, to recruit all the best teams from around the globe to unite against a common threat. Like an epic Battle of Five Armies, but with volleyball. In space. With lots of educational facts about asteroids, space-chemicals, and bikinis.


I'll get Nick Cage on the horn, he has to be involved in this somehow. Don't worry, he'll say yes.
 
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