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4246 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2021 at 10:54 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-05 10:57:25 PM  
First thing I thought of.

myabandonware.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 10:59:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 11:06:05 PM  
Would you like to know more?
 
2021-03-05 11:12:19 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: [Fark user image 850x478]


ArkAngel: Would you like to know more?


Just watched that tonight. Must have known this was coming.
 
2021-03-05 11:12:55 PM  
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/obscure?
 
2021-03-05 11:12:57 PM  
If they run over him with a tank tread and flatten him then they can fax him to the nearest hospital to be fixed.
 
2021-03-05 11:16:02 PM  
So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it
 
2021-03-05 11:19:56 PM  
The article doesn't say. But I'm betting some Gomer threw a grenade too shallow.
 
2021-03-05 11:20:03 PM  

stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it


Probably the right combination of phrasing and minimalism (because telegrams get expensive).
 
2021-03-05 11:20:24 PM  
Sgt. Hulka does not approve...
 
2021-03-05 11:22:09 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: The article doesn't say. But I'm betting some Gomer threw a grenade too shallow.


Fark user imageView Full Size

Gumby with a brick, not Gomer with a grenade
 
2021-03-05 11:51:36 PM  
We'll try administrative punishment.
 
2021-03-05 11:51:47 PM  

stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it


Only because it's a vaguely relevant opportunity to plug his writings as worthy modern day reading and perhaps a source of inspiration for some in their own communication, I copy here in full Lincoln's letter about a military death:

---
Dear Madam,
I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.
I feel how weak and fruitless must be any words of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering to you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the Republic they died to save.
I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of Freedom.
Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,
A. Lincoln.

---
 
2021-03-05 11:55:18 PM  
One man downrange?
 
2021-03-05 11:59:24 PM  
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2021-03-06 12:03:51 AM  

stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it


Think of it like this.
You invited 5 million guests to your wedding, and received 1.3 million gifts.
Now, you and your new spouse need to thank them for their thoughtful gift and generosity.
After the hundred thousandth card, you'd probably come up with a template too...

/0.00001
 
2021-03-06 12:08:01 AM  
So, are you whales in the military?
 
2021-03-06 12:15:15 AM  

Mole Man: First thing I thought of.



[myabandonware.com image 320x200]


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You can visit my lawn anytime, fellow X'er

 
2021-03-06 12:23:47 AM  

Redh8t: stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it

Think of it like this.
You invited 5 million guests to your wedding, and received 1.3 million gifts.
Now, you and your new spouse need to thank them for their thoughtful gift and generosity.
After the hundred thousandth card, you'd probably come up with a template too...

/0.00001


I'm sorry. That post was very callous. I didn't intend to denigrate anyone.
 
2021-03-06 12:32:08 AM  

stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it


tax payer dollars are carte blanche to think tank every possible scenario of What If? life has to offer. those at the highest levels of life have huge sets of trading cards detailing whatever one may need to know. they're collectable, they're tradable, and there is great art on one side of each card in every set.
 
2021-03-06 12:54:04 AM  
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2021-03-06 1:08:35 AM  
So in basic training, we were doing a live fire exercise. We had to move in pairs from cover to cover while shooting at targets at the end of the course.
Drill Sergeant explained we'd run to a position and provide cover fire while our buddy moved up to the next position, then he'd shoot the targets while the first guy ran to the next spot.
The guy I was paired with raises his hand and asks "So.....I'm supposed to shoot my buddy?" I say to the DS "I am NOT doing this with him. I don't care how many push ups you give me, there is no way in hell I'm going to be near him with live ammo." The DS explained it again, but he still looked confused. They ended up having him sit that one out.
I'm just farking glad he asked instead of just going with his gut.
 
2021-03-06 1:26:39 AM  

MythDragon: So in basic training, we were doing a live fire exercise. We had to move in pairs from cover to cover while shooting at targets at the end of the course.
Drill Sergeant explained we'd run to a position and provide cover fire while our buddy moved up to the next position, then he'd shoot the targets while the first guy ran to the next spot.
The guy I was paired with raises his hand and asks "So.....I'm supposed to shoot my buddy?" I say to the DS "I am NOT doing this with him. I don't care how many push ups you give me, there is no way in hell I'm going to be near him with live ammo." The DS explained it again, but he still looked confused. They ended up having him sit that one out.
I'm just farking glad he asked instead of just going with his gut.


This csb needs its own scary tag.
 
2021-03-06 1:32:34 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-06 1:35:47 AM  
Seems it was more of a dead fire.
 
2021-03-06 1:52:09 AM  
Doesn't matter how many rules, how many signs, how many red flags, how many gates or fences you have. Some prick will ignore one or all of them and then some sucker ends up in a danger template trying to do his job, just before live fire commences. More flags and signs will fix that!
 
2021-03-06 2:54:03 AM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: [Fark user image image 850x478]


This right here. This is why I come to fark every day. These are my people.
 
2021-03-06 2:55:56 AM  

VigoDeCarpathia: Olympic Trolling Judge: [Fark user image image 850x478]

This right here. This is why I come to fark every day. These are my people.


Came here to post: Johnny Rico wanted for questioning. But not really needed now.
 
2021-03-06 5:06:42 AM  

stevecore: So literally every death is a template. Every single one says the same "it is our deep regrets". And "our thoughts are with their family". Did they do a psych study and find that those words defuse the family the best? I'm not even joking. They probably have done a study on it


Yes, they have.  And no, it's not the words that defuse the family best - it's the words that are the most neutral and the least likely to cause vast offense.  Like most corporate shiat.  Sadly, when you're working with lots and lots and lots of people, you end up with the most average, middle of the road wishy-washy shiat, 'cause anything else is going to cause someone somewhere to lose their farking shiat and it's all gonna go even more pear-shaped.

/the public statement is for just that, for the public - and they're a large, weird, and varied lot
//commanding officer would have been the one to write the more personalized letter
///that particular duty has been #1 on the "This is the worst farking part of the job" list for any officer I've talked to that's had to do it
 
2021-03-06 7:04:08 AM  

MythDragon: So in basic training, we were doing a live fire exercise. We had to move in pairs from cover to cover while shooting at targets at the end of the course.
Drill Sergeant explained we'd run to a position and provide cover fire while our buddy moved up to the next position, then he'd shoot the targets while the first guy ran to the next spot.
The guy I was paired with raises his hand and asks "So.....I'm supposed to shoot my buddy?" I say to the DS "I am NOT doing this with him. I don't care how many push ups you give me, there is no way in hell I'm going to be near him with live ammo." The DS explained it again, but he still looked confused. They ended up having him sit that one out.
I'm just farking glad he asked instead of just going with his gut.


Heh, I did Basic in Missouri back in the day.  One kid, they had THREE range sergeants behind him for live fire.  (By contrast, it's usually just two for a whole platoon of new recruits)

Good call, as they grabbed his weapon after about two rounds fired...

/not everyone is good enough to be cannon fodder
 
2021-03-06 8:30:18 AM  

Mole Man: First thing I thought of.

[myabandonware.com image 320x200]


Same.

/we're showing our age here, ya know ;)
 
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