Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NYPost)   Snorkeler finds 26, er, 25 bricks of cocaine floating in the Keys   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Florida Keys, Florida, Monroe County, Florida, United States Border Patrol, large black bundle, Miami-Dade County, Florida, U.S. Route 1 in Florida, local authorities  
•       •       •

1859 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2021 at 5:05 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



44 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-05 1:17:23 PM  
I hope he turns all 20 bricks in to the local authorities.
 
2021-03-05 1:18:12 PM  
And a hearty facepalm that we both missed the obvious "Florida KEYS" joke. I'm slipping in my old age. And/or loss of brain cells.
 
2021-03-05 1:54:51 PM  
i assume if i am reading about here, he did the stupidest thing. told others, turned it in.
 
2021-03-05 3:43:21 PM  
I'd be scared to swim in coke infested waters.
 
2021-03-05 5:03:39 PM  
PSA: Stop putting your nose in other people's business. With that much cocaine there is great opportunity to make your own delivery service. Call it "Instagram". Change the moral fabric of the world. Become an influencer.
 
2021-03-05 5:07:34 PM  
The police have picked up the fifteen bricks by now.
 
2021-03-05 5:07:38 PM  
..... sets new freebase-style record
 
2021-03-05 5:08:29 PM  
img.sharetv.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 5:10:09 PM  
It ain't like high school kids would ever skip class to go comb the beaches...

Well, yeah it is. Florida kids skip school all the time to go look for dope washing up.
Sometimes they find dirty dope that needs a good washing.

Dope hygiene is not my forté.

what?
 
2021-03-05 5:10:34 PM  
Some Cartel is going to be awfully upset that their product didn't make it to where it was supposed to be.

and they can't write it off as a tax lost thing either.
 
2021-03-05 5:11:18 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 5:13:28 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


Aw nuts, now the fish party will be totally lame.
 
2021-03-05 5:15:12 PM  
I wonder what 5 bricks look like.
 
2021-03-05 5:17:41 PM  
So I took a little sample
To my crazy brother Joe
He snorts it up and kicks his heels
Says "Horton, that's some blow!"
 
2021-03-05 5:18:58 PM  

solcofn: I wonder what 5 bricks look like.


5 bricks of cocaine looks just like this.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 5:35:22 PM  
That one brick I the picture looks like someone swapped out the drugs for a brick of mozzarella.
 
2021-03-05 5:36:09 PM  
Where do you expect bundles of cocaine to be floating? He's lucky it wasn't a limb and headless corpse. Florida waters are full of those also, usually the guys who failed to sell enough cocaine or who kept a bit of the proceeds back to supplement their minimum wage jobs in crime or fast food delivery.
 
2021-03-05 5:41:09 PM  
Yeah if i found that much dope floating around in the ocean, theres no way i could turn it into the authorities. Thats "never work again for the rest of your life" kinda money.

But also, theres no way in hell i could ever fence it without getting busted.... i'm kinda jinxed like that, i never get away with anything. I cant even turn right on red whiteout getting pulled over.

Basically if this happened to me, itd be a guaranteed 20 year prison sentence.
 
2021-03-05 5:42:15 PM  

chewd: I cant even turn right on red whiteout getting pulled over.


LOL i see what you did there spell correct!
 
2021-03-05 5:58:39 PM  
Why does Florida Man even bother with petty crime when there is so much coke just floating around, waiting to be found? Get a kayak and a fishing net already.
 
2021-03-05 6:00:36 PM  

chewd: Yeah if i found that much dope floating around in the ocean, theres no way i could turn it into the authorities. Thats "never work again for the rest of your life" kinda money.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 6:02:02 PM  
When you do this:
The snorkeler alerted authorities to the find.

You get this:
Florida snorkeler finds $1.5 million worth of cocaine

Instead of this:
Florida millionaire starts snorkeling school for the less fortunate
 
2021-03-05 6:10:22 PM  

chewd: Yeah if i found that much dope floating around in the ocean, theres no way i could turn it into the authorities. Thats "never work again for the rest of your life" kinda money.

But also, theres no way in hell i could ever fence it without getting busted.... i'm kinda jinxed like that, i never get away with anything. I cant even turn right on red whiteout getting pulled over.

Basically if this happened to me, itd be a guaranteed 20 year prison sentence.


This.

And personally, I'd be unsure I got it onshore unseen, etc.  I'd be an ulcer-ridden wreck in 3 days.
 
2021-03-05 6:12:57 PM  

NikolaiFarkoff: I hope he turns all 20 bricks in to the local authorities.


And police will make sure to impound the 5 bricks he found.
 
2021-03-05 6:15:40 PM  
In the 70's, my dealer got ahold of some weed that had floated onto a beach somewhere in norcal in a bale. She sold it cheap. Called it Seaweed. It was salty.
 
2021-03-05 6:18:51 PM  
I don't know if I could turn away that kind of money. Maybe I'd get arrested by the police or killed by a drug lord while trying to offload it but going on living knowing I was that close to being set for life and I lost the chance wouldn't really be living anyways. May as well shoot my shot.
 
2021-03-05 6:31:49 PM  
Yeah... uh.... if I found that while snorkeling, I would immediately turn around and snorkel the other direction.
This was obviously intended for someone who will be a little annoyed that they didn't receive it.
 
2021-03-05 6:41:19 PM  

Esroc: I don't know if I could turn away that kind of money. Maybe I'd get arrested by the police or killed by a drug lord while trying to offload it but going on living knowing I was that close to being set for life and I lost the chance wouldn't really be living anyways. May as well shoot my shot.


huntercr: Yeah... uh.... if I found that while snorkeling, I would immediately turn around and snorkel the other direction.
This was obviously intended for someone who will be a little annoyed that they didn't receive it.


The human divide in a nutshell right here.
 
2021-03-05 6:49:36 PM  

steklo: Some Cartel is going to be awfully upset that their product didn't make it to where it was supposed to be.


They're shipping enough that the loss of some here and there for various reasons is accepted as the cost of doing business.
 
2021-03-05 6:53:28 PM  

mrmopar5287: steklo: Some Cartel is going to be awfully upset that their product didn't make it to where it was supposed to be.

They're shipping enough that the loss of some here and there for various reasons is accepted as the cost of doing business.


True.  The risk being that their contingency plan for lost product may consist of more than shrugging.
 
2021-03-05 7:02:38 PM  
Zero Zero zero

Worth the watch
 
2021-03-05 7:11:36 PM  
In ...ahem... completely unconnected news, I've just started planning my relocation to the Florida Keys
 
2021-03-05 7:15:18 PM  

huntercr: Yeah... uh.... if I found that while snorkeling, I would immediately turn around and snorkel the other direction.
This was obviously intended for someone who will be a little annoyed that they didn't receive it.


Yeah it sounds fun when you're discussing it on the internet, but actually finding such a thing would be terrifying to anyone who had any sense.

Trying to sell it would probably be suicidal.

Grabbing one and telling absolutely nobody a word about it would be tempting, though.
 
2021-03-05 7:15:31 PM  

punkwrestler: NikolaiFarkoff: I hope he turns all 20 bricks in to the local authorities.

And police will make sure to impound the 5 bricks he found.


The prosecutor has entered both bricks into evidence.
 
2021-03-05 7:15:45 PM  

helpdeskguy: mrmopar5287: steklo: Some Cartel is going to be awfully upset that their product didn't make it to where it was supposed to be.

They're shipping enough that the loss of some here and there for various reasons is accepted as the cost of doing business.

True.  The risk being that their contingency plan for lost product may consist of more than shrugging.



Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 7:16:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 7:20:14 PM  

Stormin Gorman: huntercr: Yeah... uh.... if I found that while snorkeling, I would immediately turn around and snorkel the other direction.
This was obviously intended for someone who will be a little annoyed that they didn't receive it.

Yeah it sounds fun when you're discussing it on the internet, but actually finding such a thing would be terrifying to anyone who had any sense.

Trying to sell it would probably be suicidal.

Grabbing one and telling absolutely nobody a word about it would be tempting, though.


Yep. That would be a big "NOPE" moment for me. I have no desire for any manner of interaction with folks involved in that shiat. Sometimes the loss is just the cost of business; other times, they decide to make an example and start collecting torsos.
 
2021-03-05 7:25:47 PM  

Stormin Gorman: huntercr: Yeah... uh.... if I found that while snorkeling, I would immediately turn around and snorkel the other direction.
This was obviously intended for someone who will be a little annoyed that they didn't receive it.

Yeah it sounds fun when you're discussing it on the internet, but actually finding such a thing would be terrifying to anyone who had any sense.

Trying to sell it would probably be suicidal.

Grabbing one and telling absolutely nobody a word about it would be tempting, though.


From that perspective, keeping it all for personal use would obviously reduce the risk.  Lifetime supply.
Functional cocaine-addict ?  Is that actually a thing ?  I always assumed unlimited supply meant death.
 
2021-03-05 7:41:19 PM  
Bales of cocaine
Fallin' from low-flying planes
 
2021-03-05 8:11:26 PM  
I think I would have handled it differently
 
2021-03-05 8:16:19 PM  
Pfft.  When I lived on the Florida coast in the mid-80's weed and coke washed up on shore on an almost daily basis.  After a couple years it hardly made the news.
 
2021-03-05 8:32:13 PM  
I am by no means a drug expert, but looking at that picture and thinking about 25 ... bricks... could they be kilograms? No matter. Gotta say it.

1.5 million for that much cocaine seems really really cheap. Is that a typo? When did cocaine get that cheap? I guess that is 60 dollars a gram, but... hmm. Seems like a lot of coke for 1.5 million.
 
2021-03-05 9:50:55 PM  
Did the snorkeler find Bum Farto?

...Where is Bum Farto?
 
2021-03-06 2:59:06 AM  

solcofn: I wonder what 5 bricks look like.


I have unexpectedly seen more than that. Judging by my experience, it looks a lot like "oh shiat, what did I just walk in to?"
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.