Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   In further evidence that we are all in fact living in the worst possible timeline, Instagram Influencers have essentially become our new Moral Majority   (nytimes.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Religion, Fans of Ms. Doyle, Faith, Glennon Doyle, 31-year-old health practitioner, Ms. Doyle, belief systems, Kimberly Ciano  
•       •       •

2038 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2021 at 2:35 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



65 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-03-05 12:48:13 PM  
Religion is stupid but influencing is divine.
 
2021-03-05 2:36:37 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: Religion is stupid but influencing is divine.


burma shave?
 
2021-03-05 2:37:04 PM  
In that they're neither?
 
2021-03-05 2:38:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


I knew this'd come in handy soon enough.
 
2021-03-05 2:39:11 PM  
I don't use Instagram. I guess I'm agnostic then.
 
2021-03-05 2:40:05 PM  
Since I never had Instagram, I guess I'm basically an outlaw. Time for me to go take a selfie of this middle aged badass. Maybe I'll buy a leather jacket.
 
2021-03-05 2:40:11 PM  
I'm sure some preachers will have a problem with someone else fleecing their flock, er, causing their flock to stray.
 
2021-03-05 2:41:43 PM  
It's the end of the world.
 
2021-03-05 2:41:57 PM  
Fark user image

/I should probably get that tattooed on my forehead
 
2021-03-05 2:42:46 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 2:43:27 PM  

daffy: It's the end of the world.


And I feel fine.
 
2021-03-05 2:44:31 PM  
This is like claiming a throw cushions embroidered with inanities like "Live Laugh Love" are our new religion.

Fark off.
 
2021-03-05 2:45:07 PM  
This is peak NY Times navel-gazing.
 
2021-03-05 2:45:54 PM  

scalpod: [Fark user image 480x270]

I knew this'd come in handy soon enough.


It's been so long since I had anything twixt my neither regions........
 
2021-03-05 2:47:06 PM  

JesseL: This is like claiming a throw cushions embroidered with inanities like "Live Laugh Love" are our new religion.

Fark off.


Excuse me, farking off is my religion, and I'll have you not taking my lord's name in vain if you please!
 
2021-03-05 2:48:02 PM  
I thought Instagram was for has-beens and never-wases.
 
2021-03-05 2:48:33 PM  
On Instagram, I follow 700 people, mostly women.

Uh huh. Just checking out some cool DJ equipment and stuff.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 2:48:46 PM  
I'm influenced not to pay attention to Instagram crap.

My wife reads crap out loud she gets from Facebook and I just shake my head. "where do people come up with this crap?" is my usual response.
 
2021-03-05 2:48:50 PM  
"Influencers Are the New Televangelists"

This just reinforces my belief that I should try to start my own religion with a few ideas that I've been kicking around for a while. Stay with me here:

The main premise is that our reality is probably simulated. Proving it isn't important; the main thing is that it might be. And if there's one simulated reality, there are probably others. And if there are multiple simulated realities running more-or-less the same platform, then it should be possible for individual people to be saved, copied, and imported from one reality to another, like Sims characters.

So, with that in mind, how do you get reincarnated in another simulated universe? That's right: Get noticed. Go viral. Do something so noteworthy - good, bad, funny, sexy, whatever - that your file gets downloaded from the cosmic filesharing site and booted up in another reality. Basically it's like being an aspiring influencer, but if you succeed you get reincarnated, and if you fail, you die. It's a perfect religion for the 21st century.

As for me, I'd be the guy who founded the religion that accurately predicted reality, so I'll be getting watched a lot, and if you happen to be a superlatively attractive woman and have sex with me, you'll probably get noticed and reincarnated too, because the people running the simulation are probably huge pervs.

The only thing I haven't really figured out is how to sell my wife on this idea. But hey, baby steps.
 
2021-03-05 2:49:17 PM  
Opinions are not facts. They are an extrapolation of the facts based on assumptions.
 
2021-03-05 2:50:19 PM  

UltimaCS: daffy: It's the end of the world.

And I feel fine.


Can you share your drugs with us?
 
2021-03-05 2:50:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

/"Gamer Girl Bath Water" is the new colloidal silver
 
2021-03-05 2:55:20 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: The main premise is that our reality is probably simulated.


The Illusion of Reality | Martin Castor Peterson | TEDxPSUBerks
Youtube DBPB57YfnX4
 
2021-03-05 2:59:38 PM  
NYT is now literally just printing random meaningless phrases.
 
2021-03-05 3:00:47 PM  

UltimaCS: On Instagram, I follow 700 people, mostly women.

Uh huh. Just checking out some cool DJ equipment and stuff.
[Fark user image 425x532]


absolutely what I was doing. Those are some impressive...microphones...
 
2021-03-05 3:00:56 PM  
No matter how stupid the instagram people are, they probably do a better job than the original Moral Majority people did.
 
2021-03-05 3:02:50 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Since I never had Instagram, I guess I'm basically an outlaw. Time for me to go take a selfie of this middle aged badass. Maybe I'll buy a leather jacket.


I had an Instagram account for about a week before it got hacked and stuffed full of Russian hard-core noodz.

Not a big loss.
 
2021-03-05 3:05:11 PM  
Welp,
We're boned.
 
2021-03-05 3:06:45 PM  
The Establishment Clause.  How does it work?

Here's the Sanity Clause. Or is it?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 3:07:08 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Since I never had Instagram, I guess I'm basically an outlaw. Time for me to go take a selfie of this middle aged badass. Maybe I'll buy a leather jacket.


Would you happen to be half Cherokee and Choctaw?
 
2021-03-05 3:07:19 PM  

NotARocketScientist: No matter how stupid the instagram people are, they probably do a better job than the original Moral Majority people did.


HAHAHAHA jokes on you, they're actually still all just humans same as the rest really.

I find the number of times i'm wrong is not enough of the time, compared to being right when just assuming all humans that want to tell others how to be moral are in fact the least moral of all the humans.

You know the well established pattern of, those who ask for authority are the ones mostly likely to be the worst to wield it, while those who don't ask for auditory are generally the ones who will wield it responsibly as expected.
Or that the pens tell you about the sins are the ones committing them, or the ones out hunting down the pedos are in fact the pedos themselves.and so no and so on and so on
 
2021-03-05 3:11:05 PM  
I'm not sure I know any social media influencers, unless we're talking about Pocket Ninja and Mike_LoWELL. I will only trust hair conditioners, cheese food products and support hose that they endorse.
 
2021-03-05 3:15:31 PM  
Se what happens when take away toys like bag o' glass and lawn darts?
Ya got too many dumbos that shoulda fell in the crick early on.
 
2021-03-05 3:19:48 PM  
That explains all of this.
 
2021-03-05 3:20:16 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: The only thing I haven't really figured out is how to sell my wife on this idea.


Well, how many wives does she get? You can probably cut a deal and make a prophet.
 
2021-03-05 3:21:24 PM  

KB202: NYT is now literally just printing random meaningless phrases.


Somebody got paid.for that.
That explains it.

/every single time.
 
2021-03-05 3:22:59 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: I'm sure some preachers will have a problem with someone else fleecing their flock, er, causing their flock to stray.


These would be the same self-serving assholes that openly worship a golden idol of Dumpy while raking in multi-millions in tax exemptions and locking their doors during emergencies.

Frankly, I would much rather a bunch of dumbasses blindly follow some self-help guru right off that cliff than continue to allow the latter the microphone to spew hate, intolerance and death inducing stupidity in mass. But that's just me.
 
2021-03-05 3:24:19 PM  

JesseL: This is like claiming a throw cushions embroidered with inanities like "Live Laugh Love" are our new religion.

Fark off.


Throw cushions are an appropriation of Indian culture, embroidery is appropriating the arachnid and new religion is offensive to old religion. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I will be broadcasting shun orders forthwith.
 
2021-03-05 3:28:37 PM  

JesseL: This is like claiming a throw cushions embroidered with inanities like "Live Laugh Love" are our new religion.

Fark off.


th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 3:30:28 PM  

bighairyguy: I thought Instagram was for has-beens and never-wases.


It's also for finding out if your favorite food cart has sold out today
 
2021-03-05 3:35:44 PM  
They couldn't possibly be worse than the "Moral Majority" assholes. "Influencers" don't seem any more useless, at least.
 
2021-03-05 3:36:20 PM  
Most itinerant preachers and revivalists were semi-literate snake-oil salesmen preying (praying?) on the superstitious and the morally compromised. This has been true since AD 1 and likely, much earlier.

Which is to say - there's absolutely nothing a tictoc or Instagram influencer could ever say or do that would, in any way, be worse than the things christian preachers have said, done, and advocated.


Yeah, yeah - not all preachers advocate for genocide. And not all Influencers are skeezy. But if we're going to paint with a broad brush...
 
2021-03-05 3:46:04 PM  

mofa: I'm not sure I know any social media influencers, unless we're talking about Pocket Ninja and Mike_LoWELL. I will only trust hair conditioners, cheese food products and support hose that they endorse.


Only the best hoses!
 
2021-03-05 3:52:02 PM  
I see we still have some non-believers in the audience. I think I should also point out that the Church of Instagram is also known for good work promoting animal sanctuaries:
Fark user imageView Full Size


And non-denominational holiday parties:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 3:52:52 PM  

FrancoFile: navel

FrancoFile: This is peak NY Times navel-gazing.


Ren & Stimpy belly button trip

"Climb Inside My World" Song | The Ren & Stimpy Show | NickRewind
Youtube zRNPsd_PfeI
 
2021-03-05 3:53:14 PM  
What if I don't want/need to be "influenced".
 
2021-03-05 3:56:45 PM  
Huh
I just thought that's why we vote for them with clicks and likes.
 
2021-03-05 4:00:05 PM  
Oh, now I get it. It's about tits, like everything else.
 
2021-03-05 4:05:06 PM  

Bennie Crabtree: Since I never had Instagram, I guess I'm basically an outlaw. Time for me to go take a selfie of this middle aged badass. Maybe I'll buy a leather jacket.


But how will you share the juicy pics if you're not on insta?
 
2021-03-05 4:05:43 PM  

cwheelie: scalpod: [Fark user image 480x270]

I knew this'd come in handy soon enough.

It's been so long since I had anything twixt my neither regions........


I could stand to hear a bit more..
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.