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(Fox 2 St. Louis)   Missouri man learns a valuable lesson during turkey mating season - and that lesson is turkeys are aggressive a-holes   (fox2now.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Bird, Harry S. Truman, Wild Turkey, The Mating Season, Meteorologist Jaime Travers' husband, Elliott Davis, first thought, strong commitment  
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2094 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2021 at 11:50 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-05 11:01:10 AM  
Same doofus that used a blowtorch to melt snow?
 
2021-03-05 11:18:27 AM  
They can't fly?
 
2021-03-05 11:19:46 AM  
"Come back later - matin'!"
 
2021-03-05 11:48:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 11:51:46 AM  
Is Florida full up? A lot of Missouri stories recently.
 
2021-03-05 11:51:55 AM  
Bob's Burgers did it.
 
2021-03-05 11:52:16 AM  
I like how the link says 'local-idiot' instead of 'Missouri man' to refer to the husband of their own colleague.
 
2021-03-05 11:55:16 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: I like how the link says 'local-idiot' instead of 'Missouri man' to refer to the husband of their own colleague.


Ha, great catch.
 
2021-03-05 11:55:50 AM  
wpcdn.us-east-1.vip.tn-cloud.netView Full Size

they have teeth on their tongues
 
2021-03-05 11:55:50 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: I like how the link says 'local-idiot' instead of 'Missouri man' to refer to the husband of their own colleague.


Thanks for pointing that out.

On a different note, who here hasn't kicked out at a bird that's attacked him/her? Birds attack people, that's pretty much how it is. So why is this news?
 
2021-03-05 11:59:54 AM  
Missouri farmer gets two Greens in a row!
 
2021-03-05 12:00:11 PM  
I get offended when animals think they can ride on me.

Motherfu*kers dont even know about science.

media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 12:00:34 PM  

salvador.hardin: Missouri farmer gets two Greens in a row!


I meant farker, but my odds aren't bad either way.
 
2021-03-05 12:05:33 PM  
Seems like a fun state . . .

Abe Simpson on Missouri
Youtube ZoWc6WRHKEE
 
2021-03-05 12:06:06 PM  
I'm going to get big and, You know, what do I know, it just keeps coming.

Giggity
 
2021-03-05 12:07:59 PM  

CheatCommando: Is Florida full up? A lot of Missouri stories recently.


Yes there are, and it aggravates the piss out of me.

\Missourians are NOT all meth-addled hilljacks
\\St. Louisan
\\\Happy Friday!
 
2021-03-05 12:10:24 PM  
Tom turkeys are pretty nasty if there are hens around. A friend of my fathers had a pair, and that Tom would chase us kids if we ever got too close to Mrs Turkey. Between the Turkey and a rampaging flock of resident nasty ass geese, every time we would visit became a game of dodging the avian terror squad. Nightmare honking aside, it was a great place in the NJ pine barrens sitting on a lake. It's a state park now, which makes me happy it's been preserved, but at the same time a bit sad as all that's left is memories.
 
2021-03-05 12:10:44 PM  

REDARMYVODKA: CheatCommando: Is Florida full up? A lot of Missouri stories recently.

Yes there are, and it aggravates the piss out of me.

\Missourians are NOT all meth-addled hilljacks
\\St. Louisan
\\\Happy Friday!


My Dad was from Grandview and my Mom from near St. Joe. 

They fled the state in 1960.
 
2021-03-05 12:14:14 PM  
I had to punch a flying goose while running a 5k once. Part of the course was across the dam of a pond. As I approached the dam I saw a flock of about a dozen goslings in the middle of the road. I kept running, thinking they would just scatter ahead of me. Mother goose had a different idea. She came flying at me about 5 feet off the ground from my 2 o'clock direction. I didn't even break my stride. I hit her with a quick jab to the side of her head that sent her crashing to the ground behind me. I talked to someone at the finish line who said he saw the whole thing. He said she was standing up when he passed her.
 
2021-03-05 12:16:57 PM  
Small dinosaurs walk among us.

/ and go good with cranberry sauce, but you have to earn it.
 
2021-03-05 12:24:04 PM  
 
2021-03-05 12:27:35 PM  

CheatCommando: Is Florida full up? A lot of Missouri stories recently.


Misouri trifecta in play....
 
2021-03-05 12:28:48 PM  
Usually when a Missourian gets farked up by Wild Turkey, a DUI or accidental child happens.
 
2021-03-05 12:28:56 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 12:32:59 PM  
Territorial Turkeys is the name of my Travelling Wilburys cover band.
 
2021-03-05 12:34:24 PM  
Turkey's, Geese, Peacocks they all look nice but are assholes.  We have geese around the building I work in during their migration and they can be loud and crap all over.

/Know enough to ignore them.
 
2021-03-05 12:35:54 PM  
About twenty years ago there was a group of young turkeys that would gather at the side of the road on my way to work - a homeowner was spreading corn on his yard. Invariably, as I approached the group, two or three would suddenly run into the road, requiring evasive action on my part.

Yup, turkeys playing chicken.
 
2021-03-05 12:40:32 PM  
Todd Frazier Chimes In On Toms River Wild Turkey Problem
Youtube g-wnPzYOR7w


aggressive turkey stories always remind me of toms river's todd frazier now
 
2021-03-05 12:56:12 PM  
Ages ago a coworker of mine told me a story of when he used to work on a turkey farm. He said they'd have to gear up in protective gear, like padding and shields and stuff, and carry lead pipes in to deal with the turkeys if they got too aggressive. I thought he was joking and started to laugh and he looks at me dead serious and says "They'll kill you. They'll gang up and murder you."

Still not sure if he was serious but I know birds can be aggressive. Got chased by a swan when I was kayaking once. Thought I'd have to nail him with the paddle if he kept chasing me.
 
2021-03-05 1:51:56 PM  
Got a flock of them that hang out in our backyard. They usually go away if you get close, they are skiddish. I've been within 5 ft of them, they usually just walk away. Perhaps we have the domesticated variant here, heh

They have really been at it early this year though. Fanning plumes and gobbling loudly. This group has lots of Toms and ladies.
 
2021-03-05 1:52:02 PM  
Wild turkeys are aggressive and stupid in the spring time.  They'll get in the middle of the road and challenge cars.  Damn annoying that people sit there waiting for the stupid bird to move, blocking traffic.  They won't move.  Just keep driving.  Either the turkey will get out of the way or cease to be a problem for future drivers.

If you are a pedestrian getting challenged by a big tom, you'll want to exercise some common sense.  Those bastards have spurs and can hurt you.
 
2021-03-05 2:18:00 PM  

Farkin Charlie: Tom turkeys are pretty nasty if there are hens around. A friend of my fathers had a pair, and that Tom would chase us kids if we ever got too close to Mrs Turkey. Between the Turkey and a rampaging flock of resident nasty ass geese, every time we would visit became a game of dodging the avian terror squad. Nightmare honking aside, it was a great place in the NJ pine barrens sitting on a lake. It's a state park now, which makes me happy it's been preserved, but at the same time a bit sad as all that's left is memories.


We get wild turkeys around here, and yeah, they're more aggressive than geese.  Farm turkeys might not be?
 
2021-03-05 2:27:38 PM  
I hiked upon upon a pair of roosting turkeys. They took off startled, but it was quite a jump scare for me. Geese have scared me off a few times. It's one of those things. You're sure that in a fight to the death Griffin vs. Chicken style, you are going to win. But you really don't want that fight.
Geese will latch on to your head and repeatedly drive that beak into your face like a piston.
Canada geese will mess you up
 
2021-03-05 3:38:04 PM  
Do YOU like being disturbed while you're trying to mate?

Who's the real asshole here?
 
2021-03-05 4:01:31 PM  
I think the tom realized that Evan was the photographer who had been posting the hen creep shots online.
 
2021-03-06 1:40:34 AM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Do YOU like being disturbed while you're trying to mate?

Who's the real asshole here?


I don't mate in the middle of the road.
 
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