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(Scoop Nashville)   You know, you might not be fit to drive if cops ask you if you know where you are and you reply "In bed"   (scoopnashville.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Misdemeanor, Automobile, Crimes, 51-year-old Thomas Courtney, prior DUI convictions, Davidson County, Tennessee, TBI Background check, Mt. Juliet's Courtney  
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1387 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2021 at 1:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-05 1:26:09 PM  
adding 'in bed' only works with fortune cookies
 
2021-03-05 1:34:26 PM  
That's funny. A lot of times that is where I am when I post on here.
 
2021-03-05 1:51:17 PM  

kdawg7736: That's funny. A lot of times that is where I am when I post on here.


In bed, or DWI?   Both?
 
2021-03-05 1:54:16 PM  
homesfeed.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 1:59:40 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: adding 'in bed' only works with fortune cookies


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 2:02:47 PM  
If he lives in his car he wouldn't be wrong.
 
2021-03-05 2:12:41 PM  
Nice classist discrimination from Subby here for assuming that his car isn't also his bed.
 
2021-03-05 2:13:20 PM  
Call of Duty trifecta in play?
 
2021-03-05 2:13:50 PM  
Let's Go To Bed
Youtube -1vuUFu475Y
 
2021-03-05 2:19:44 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: adding 'in bed' only works with fortune cookies


Also works with "in your mouth" and "in your pants".
 
2021-03-05 2:27:03 PM  
I think it's a good response.

Four possible scenarios.

1. You're dreaming that you're driving drunk. You're asked where you are. You say "I'm driving" - you get arrested (in your dream, but that's probably unpleasant).
2. You're driving drunk. You're asked where you are. You say "I'm driving" - you get arrested (for real, even more unpleasant).
3. You're dreaming that you're driving drunk. You're asked where you are. You say "In bed" - you gain some lucidity in your dream and the cop turns out to be a stripper who thinks you're hilarious and wants to join you. That's pleasant.
4. You're driving drunk. You're asked where you are. You say "In bed" - you end up on Fark.

See? Only bad results from saying "I'm driving" and only good results from saying "In bed."
 
2021-03-05 2:32:27 PM  
One more dumbass and we have a trifecta
 
2021-03-05 2:38:40 PM  
Nashville DUI trifecta in play.
 
2021-03-05 2:45:35 PM  
Your honor! Mah client cannot be con-victed of driving drink, Suh! I submit to you, your honor, that mah client, I say, my client truly believed he was in bed at the time of his arrest and I wish to enter this "alternative fact" as evidence.

What?  No sir quotes in court sir?  Well dipped in me in shellac and stick me to the ceiling.
 
2021-03-05 2:46:10 PM  
I seriously thought this story was going to prominently feature the Ambien Walrus.
 
2021-03-05 2:49:10 PM  

Boo_Guy: If he lives in his car he wouldn't be wrong.


One of my friends said that he only likes to date homeless women. That way at the end of the date, he can just drop them off anywhere.
 
2021-03-05 3:18:38 PM  

Stud Gerbil: kdawg7736: That's funny. A lot of times that is where I am when I post on here.

In bed, or DWI?   Both?


In bed.
 
2021-03-05 3:25:01 PM  
His sentence should involve being forced to listen to this on repeat:

Bloodhound Gang - Asleep At The Wheel
Youtube ZhQG5mMfN2U
 
2021-03-05 4:23:14 PM  

steklo: [homesfeed.com image 850x442]


media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 5:21:56 PM  

kdawg7736: That's funny. A lot of times that is where I am when I post on here.


Oh wow.  I just assumed everyone on here was posting from the shiatter.
 
2021-03-05 5:30:47 PM  
I was frequently asked the question "Where are you?" when I was in the hospital with heart failure and other associated maladies.

The correct answer was NOT "in bed", even though this was proximately true.

The correct answer was at the Heart Institute or in ICU or something more medical and technical. I was moved around a bit, but I had some private rooms (because they thought I might be contagious) as well as semi-private and four bed rooms.

It sucked to be in a four bed ward. The guy next to me was very noisy and disturbing. He couldn't remember why his arm hurt (a heart attack) and was very very rude to the nurses when he was not in full possession of his wits.

Hell is other people. That's a quotation from Jean-Paul Sartre's play, Les Murs (The Walls). It was also my "quote" in my HS Year Book. Yes, I was that guy.
 
2021-03-05 5:31:52 PM  

cyberspacedout: His sentence should involve being forced to listen to this on repeat:

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZhQG5mMf​N2U?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


Good enough to torment Donald Trump when he gets to his special place in Hell.
 
2021-03-06 10:20:45 AM  
Sometimes you do the cops' work for them.

Come on, don't be that lazy. At least make them work for their pay.
 
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