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(Daily Star)   Former television presenter admits to popping off a squirrel or two while on the toilet. Not sure if euphemism (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Weird, Newsnight, Jeremy Paxman, University Challenge, daily fix of Piers, former Newsnight host, Squirrel, Sitting, Toilet  
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3583 clicks; posted to Main » and Entertainment » on 05 Mar 2021 at 12:53 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-03-05 10:56:46 AM  
Grandparents and parent used to reminisce of same, but from an outhouse overlooking a holler during "Great" depression.  "Tree chickens" for dinner FTW.
 
2021-03-05 1:07:10 PM  
Uhhhhhh, this means a very different thing where I live.
 
2021-03-05 1:07:15 PM  
Is similar to a Tuscaloosa Dumpling, subby.
 
2021-03-05 1:07:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 1:07:51 PM  
Squirrels are rats with fluffy tails.
 
2021-03-05 1:08:58 PM  
I think we all know he only shoots them when he is crapping.
 
2021-03-05 1:12:25 PM  
Try me.

comicvine1.cbsistatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 1:12:39 PM  
Who?
 
2021-03-05 1:15:41 PM  
His toilet is in the back yard, without even walls or privacy screens?
 
2021-03-05 1:17:10 PM  

Urmuf Hamer: Grandparents and parent used to reminisce of same, but from an outhouse overlooking a holler during "Great" depression.  "Tree chickens" for dinner FTW.

The Joy of Cooking

used to include recipes for squirrel and other small game up through the early 1970s.  That kind of subsistence hunting was largely gone from American culture by that point.
 
2021-03-05 1:18:31 PM  
"Why is it cruel? They're annoying me."

After reading the article this twat annoys me. I wonder if that means I can shoot him with an air rifle?
 
2021-03-05 1:20:08 PM  

geekbikerskum: Urmuf Hamer: Grandparents and parent used to reminisce of same, but from an outhouse overlooking a holler during "Great" depression.  "Tree chickens" for dinner FTW.

The Joy of Cooking used to include recipes for squirrel and other small game up through the early 1970s.  That kind of subsistence hunting was largely gone from American culture by that point.


Squirrel is quite tasty.
 
2021-03-05 1:20:57 PM  
I've heard "snap a growler," "drop a deuce," "lay some cable," "take a dump," and even "make," but that's a new one for me.
 
2021-03-05 1:28:05 PM  

Mock26: Who?


"The former Newsnight host and University Challenge presenter"--maybe you know him better as Bambi
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 1:40:19 PM  
Our squirrddles and songbirds get along just fine. They all share.
The chipmunks however are complete arseholes, gobbling up bucketloads of seed, then tearing up Mom's plants.
 
2021-03-05 1:43:43 PM  
Don't want to get shot?  Stop stealing my farking tomatoes.
 
2021-03-05 1:44:11 PM  
The Heron that hangs out in my yard eats squirrels and chipmunks. Its pretty ferocious. I like rodents tho I wouldn't hurt them.
 
2021-03-05 1:45:58 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Does NOT approve.
 
2021-03-05 1:52:58 PM  
Is that wrong?
 
2021-03-05 2:05:16 PM  
Nobody should ever have to defend shooting squirrels.  They're destructive little rats who get a pass because of the fluffy tail.
 
2021-03-05 2:06:20 PM  

Walker: Squirrels are rats with fluffy tails.


No, rats are squirrels with unfluffy tails.
 
2021-03-05 2:10:39 PM  
Last fall i was brushing my teeth and looking out my window, and saw a go-fair popping his destructive little head up and down about 30 feet away. So i grabbed the .22 airgun, went out front, and headshot it...gf got a picture of me naked except for a peach colored towel that said "I love mom" on it and a honkin' big scoped air rifle...
 
2021-03-05 2:13:40 PM  

Eli WhiskeyDik: Does NOT approve.


Came here for this

/almost left disappointed
 
2021-03-05 2:14:40 PM  
That's not only American, it's Kentuckian!
 
2021-03-05 2:24:24 PM  
That's a new one I need to add to my repertoire.
 
2021-03-05 2:25:36 PM  
Is that similar to releasing sea turtles?
 
2021-03-05 2:33:09 PM  
I get mine this way
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-05 2:36:31 PM  
Have a vegan associate who traps and kills squirrels on his property.

Reasons:

1) Non-native (moves into town about a decade ago and took over)
2) Illegal to move after capture
3) They destroy his crops
4) I kill way more animals with my diet than he does with his traps
 
2021-03-05 2:39:52 PM  
So, his toilet is outside?
 
2021-03-05 2:47:19 PM  

daffy: So, his toilet is outside?


no, his squirrels are INSIDE
 
2021-03-05 2:51:44 PM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: Mock26: Who?

"The former Newsnight host and University Challenge presenter"--maybe you know him better as Bambi
[Fark user image 480x360]


Different chap. Bamber Gascoine. That's not actually him, but it's supposed to be.
 
2021-03-05 2:57:27 PM  
FTFA: He said: "Why is it cruel? They're annoying me."
And it's not just squirrels that annoy the television legend. He said that "virtually everything" does,...


So he thinks it's OK to shoot something because it annoys him, but then everything annoys him. Sounds like he needs to have his air-gun taken away.

Yes squirrels are rats with fluffy tails, but shooting something just because it annoys you isn't acceptable.
 
2021-03-05 2:59:46 PM  
I started hunting squirrels just last year. I call it my pandemic hobby.

They started ripping the bark off one of my trees and the neighbor had them in their walls. They had over a dozen holes in and around their roof.

I live in a generic subdivision of Dallas. I've gotten 46 since May. They are a plague.
 
2021-03-05 3:01:32 PM  
Squirrels kill literally nothing. British education FTW?
 
2021-03-05 3:12:50 PM  
Tom Lehrer approves.
 
2021-03-05 3:13:11 PM  
A bb gun?  Has he tried using a .303?
 
2021-03-05 3:26:03 PM  

Null Pointer: I started hunting squirrels just last year. I call it my pandemic hobby.

They started ripping the bark off one of my trees and the neighbor had them in their walls. They had over a dozen holes in and around their roof.

I live in a generic subdivision of Dallas. I've gotten 46 since May. They are a plague.


I had some in my last house, mostly under the roof. I think they chewed up a phone line, or it just went bad around the time we heard them scampering around above our heads. I found the one hole they gained access through, put some repellant in it and then covered it with wire mesh. All quiet after that.
 
2021-03-05 3:29:35 PM  
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2021-03-05 3:33:47 PM  

Salmon: daffy: So, his toilet is outside?

no, his squirrels are INSIDE


I think that he might be the squirrely.
 
2021-03-05 3:41:52 PM  
I couldn't care less about the story but I do find it interesting that he apparently judges what's cruel or not based on his level of annoyance. That's...interesting.
 
2021-03-05 4:04:24 PM  
I used to work with a mid level manager of a F500 company who would Lee Harvey Oswald rabbits in his garden from his second story window with a 22 rifle. Fine except he lived smack in the middle of suburbia in an upscale neighborhood. The cops assured him he should stop that shiat asap.
 
2021-03-05 4:04:24 PM  
I spent a whole summer in Colorado killing squirrels back when I was in my 30's.
They would destroy nearly my entire pumpkin garden every Summer/Fall, eating only just enough from each gourd to ruin it. It was maddening, and one year I just had enough

I borrowed a high powered air rifle from my boss and committed to shooting squirrels until they stopped coming for the garden. This was a pro-level, pump action airgun, way more powerful than the ones I used as a kid.

Killing the squirrels worked pretty well for short periods, but after a couple days more squirrels would just move in to fill the void. I lost count after killing at least 20-30 squirrels.

The endless parade of death began to wear on me, so I went with a "humane trap" situation (again, borrowed from my boss). I would trap a new squirrel almost every afternoon and release it by my work the following morning (40 miles away). I probably eliminated another 15-20 with this method.

They never stopped though. It was relentless and never-ending.
That summer became a blur of dead and trapped squirrels, but with zero effect on the population.

I gave up gardening after that.
The squirrels had won.
 
2021-03-05 4:09:26 PM  

Null Pointer: I started hunting squirrels just last year. I call it my pandemic hobby.
They started ripping the bark off one of my trees and the neighbor had them in their walls. They had over a dozen holes in and around their roof.


How many of the holes were made by the squirrels, and how many were made by you shooting the squirrels?
 
2021-03-05 4:14:08 PM  
My dad declared war on the squirrels in my parents' yard for a while. They would eat the 'rents tomatoes, and my first wife's parents gifted them a couple of pecan trees the lil furry bastards ate down to the ground before they could get established.

Dad even had a laser sight on his airgun.

He also really liked ole Tucker and Beulah, my set of dogs now long passed. They would tag team squirrels where one would chase and the other would nail the tree rat as it ran. Beulah's kill count was three and Tuck's was two.

They actually made one of those kills right in front of me. Beulah was the chaser that time. Tuck chomped it and killed it instantly with one good head rattle.

Was something to see a dog that big move that quick. He was part Great Dane, part German Shepherd. To give you an idea, his favorite toy was those larger "tennis ball" dog toys. He'd mouth one of those like a lab does a regular tennis ball.
 
2021-03-05 4:37:09 PM  
The Paxman
Yeaaah he's the Paxman

Georgie Harrison didn't like him either
 
2021-03-05 4:41:30 PM  
Meh. He's killing grey squirrels. They're invasive there, displacing native red squirrels.
 
2021-03-05 4:54:50 PM  
My neighbor says..."BRB, gotta' take the Cleveland Browns to the Super Bowl."
 
2021-03-05 4:58:04 PM  

Mock26: "Why is it cruel? They're annoying me."

After reading the article this twat annoys me. I wonder if that means I can shoot him with an air rifle?


It would all depend on your aim, wouldn't it?  I have faith that you could shoot him.
 
2021-03-05 5:04:08 PM  

Charles52: Tom Lehrer approves.


It took a lot of scrolling before someone else got the reference.  Fark, i am disappoint.

/ Not subby
 
2021-03-05 5:38:13 PM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: Mock26: Who?

"The former Newsnight host and University Challenge presenter"--maybe you know him better as Bambi
[Fark user image 480x360]


Aww, that I do know.

Go Scumbag College!
 
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