Skip to content
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   "My mom is dying of cancer, but she still finds time to criticize me about my weight. What can I do to stop her criticism?"   ( divider line
    More: Awkward, Internet, Julia Turshen, Julia Child, Web feed, ailing mom, Podcast, Prudie's podcasts, Recipe  
•       •       •

256 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 04 Mar 2021 at 8:18 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2021-03-03 11:32:36 PM  
20 votes:
2021-03-04 3:46:41 AM  
14 votes:
"my mom is dying, how can I make it about me instead?"
2021-03-03 11:13:27 PM  
13 votes:
Don't worry, cancer will take care of things.
2021-03-04 8:06:06 AM  
9 votes:
Now that I've been through both my grandmother and my mother, both of which were at their worst in that last year (obviously), I can say that their worst traits can become magnified.

You have to let it pass.  Just don't even acknowledge or think about it.  Let it wash right over.  When mom's gone you do not want:

- your last memories of her be tainted by the nags
- to be kicking yourself for letting your temper get you

I was not proud of a few moments there toward the end with mom.  And even she would admit to being a terrible patient and being very hard on me.  But in the end, it doesn't matter.
2021-03-04 2:29:35 AM  
6 votes:
Eat less and exercise more.
433 [TotalFark]
2021-03-04 4:36:15 AM  
4 votes:
If your mother's dying wish is that you lose some weight, honor her memory.  And buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
2021-03-04 1:18:41 AM  
4 votes:
Look, I'm not going to listen to that but . . . really?  She's your mom.  Guess what?  Being of average weight is better for your health than being overweight!   I used to be really thin.  Nothing wrong, I was very busy and had quite a metabolism.  My mother just stopped sending me boxes of food about 3 weeks ago!  They're moms they worry.  No matter how I feel about another person's weight (and I simply don't feel about it, unless it has come to present a concrete health risk for someone that I love), studies tell us that both our social *and* professional options are improved if we're of average weight.  Your mom's not a social critic at Slate, she's your mom!

And she's dying, not "early" at some point in the distant future when her diet comes home to roost, but right now!  Count your blessings that she's not suffering from dementia and grabbing your genitals!  Tell her bye, and stuff, and such like as.
2021-03-04 10:51:52 AM  
3 votes:
The Prudie Podcast -- fark it.

/also quit submitting it
2021-03-04 10:51:21 AM  
3 votes:
This is a farking audio clip? I'm supposed to stop and listen to some article about stupid personal problems, along with an ad? GTFO, subby.
2021-03-04 9:11:58 AM  
3 votes:

Mugato: Eat a carrot, you fat fark.


I kind of wish I had listened more.  Then I wouldn't have an uphill battle.   I see young people way more obese than I've ever been and I think to myself "Oh, you're going to really regret that in just a few short years, which is probably all you have left".

So, today:  Cup of coffee on my way into work, then a brisk 3.4 mile walk with a 40 lb MOLLE pack, then a plain Greek yogurt and an orange for breakfast.  For lunch, a foil pack of tuna along with some no salt added canned green beans, followed by a brisk 3 mile walk with the pack.  Then for dinner, probably a salad with some Swiss cheese.  Olive oil and vinegar dressing, no croutons.  And maybe a handful of mixed nuts for a snack.

No potatoes, no rice, no bread, no sugar.

On the plus side, though, I've already had to put a new hole in the belt I got for Christmas to replace the larger belt I used to have to wear.

But if I hadn't been a moron for all those years, I wouldn't have to be doing things so hard core right now.
2021-03-04 7:29:38 AM  
3 votes:
DNTFA. She may be trying to warn you about bad habits catching up on you.

One of my former students posted a thing on fb about how her blood work SHOWS she is a perfectly healthy fat 28 yrs old.

I resisted telling her that, yeah, at 28 things are cool...but once you reach 40 your medicine cabinet no longer has any room in it. At 45, getting out of bed in the morning is painful. At 46, you realize that you don't want to be a fat 50 year old or worse, a fat 60 year old. And at 46.1 you realize that you rarely see fat 70 year olds.

I didn't say anything to her, but I wish I had. I wish someone would have taken me out to the woodshed and beat it into me that I better change my ways or my ways are going to change me...for the worse.
2021-03-04 6:28:00 AM  
3 votes:
Eat a carrot, you fat fark.
2021-03-04 12:44:17 AM  
3 votes:
Patience, grasshopper
2021-03-04 4:09:48 PM  
2 votes:

Almea Tarrant: Myk-House of El: The Prudie Podcast -- fark it.

/also quit submitting it

Click "View Transcript".
I'm not so sure about you...

/ I keed
// don't click it
/// 3 cuz I'm a scamp

The first time I tried it, it looked like they were using the worst speech to text system ever invented.  Looks like they've improved, but it's literal and, like, um, has all the filler from, you know, speech.
2021-03-04 9:57:47 AM  
2 votes:
This is a tough one.  I didn't listen, but I'm guessing the daughter wants her remaining time with her mother to have value.  She doesn't want those days filled with criticism (from either party.)

It's hard to push back when a dying person says something hurtful because you don't want your last conversation with them to be an argument.  And, yes, her mother's dying has to do with her daughter too.  It's not all about the mother.  At least the daughter cares enough to want quality, meaningful time with her mother.  She could just let her die alone.
2021-03-04 9:22:44 AM  
2 votes:

syrynxx: Read her the Silmarillion.

Impossible.  That book is unreadable.
2021-03-04 9:05:43 AM  
2 votes:
Taking care of her? Bring her nothing but McDonalds and Taco Bell to eat until she learns to STFU.

/ unless you have to change her diaper
2021-03-04 7:12:21 AM  
2 votes:
Cancer patients get a lot better once they start the morphine. So, you have that to look forward to.
2021-03-03 11:49:05 PM  
2 votes:
Read her the Silmarillion.
2021-03-04 3:00:44 PM  
1 vote:

cryinoutloud: This is a farking audio clip? I'm supposed to stop and listen to some article about stupid personal problems, along with an ad? GTFO, subby.

Click "View Transcript".
Only don't click "View Transcript" because then you'll see the transcript and I don't hate you.
2021-03-04 11:23:52 AM  
1 vote:
Put the fork down?
2021-03-04 9:38:55 AM  
1 vote:
1. Get her on hospice now
2. Make sure that the nurse has orders for lorazepam and morphine that are alternating every hour PRN

Or just put your mom in the lowest rated nursing home on the Medicare scale.
2021-03-04 2:59:44 AM  
1 vote:
F*ck her dad?
2021-03-04 12:18:07 AM  
1 vote:
jumping jacks?
2021-03-03 11:25:48 PM  
1 vote:
A pillow and a strong set of arms

//aisle seat, please.
Displayed 25 of 25 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.