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(Vice)   Tomato sandwiches; legitimate real sandwich or soggy abomination?   (vice.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Twitter, Tomato, pleasure of a peak summer tomato, tomato sandwich, perfect tomato, Tomatoes, sweatiest days of summer, Bread  
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521 clicks; posted to Food » on 03 Mar 2021 at 10:41 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



65 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-03-03 7:10:48 PM  
That is a piss poor example of a tomato sammich and the author is a cretin.

TL/DNR
Store bought tomatoes ("the ones you feel tempted to cradle home for fear that they'll burst en route), mayo and "squishy" white bread (Lightly toasted) .

WTF?
 
2021-03-03 7:24:06 PM  
There's proper ways to make a tomato sandwich and wrong ways. This is the right way

mychinet.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-03 7:36:35 PM  
Soggy abomination depends on the amount of mayonnaise used.
 
2021-03-03 9:44:46 PM  
If you can't afford bacon & lettuce, I guess...
 
2021-03-03 9:46:36 PM  
Throw some bacon on it and I'm all over that
 
2021-03-03 10:20:52 PM  
I loves me a tomato sandwich in summer, if the tomatoes are good. When I moved from Northern Alberta to Indiana one summer years ago, I practically lived on them for a week. I really missed good tomatoes.
 
2021-03-03 10:25:04 PM  
Yeah, if the tomatoes are good, a tomato sandwich is good. Not going to say it's AWESOME!!!!! But it's definitely worth putting on the menu ever now and than.
 
2021-03-03 10:56:25 PM  
A sandwich should have some kind of protein in it.  Tomatoes are insufficient for this purpose.
 
2021-03-03 11:05:23 PM  
I think because my parents have nostalgia for their financially deprived childhood, they both like tomato sandwiches and have foisted them on me in the past. They're not too bad if the tomato isn't too juicy (lay the slices on a paper towel for a minute first), is properly salted and peppered, and there's a slice of good cheddar in there. I also use toast, which prevents some sogginess if you eat it quickly.
 
2021-03-03 11:07:15 PM  
Don't want soggy bread? Use Beefsteak tomatoes:
s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size

Not as much moisture.
 
2021-03-03 11:10:28 PM  
First off, start with bread like this:

melskitchencafe.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-03 11:16:32 PM  
A tomato sandwich in the summer is great, especially with a tomato right out of the garden. But it needs seasoning and toasted bread. The ticktock cretin who kickstarted this conversation did neither, and gobbed half a cup of mayo on it to boot.

A good tomato sandiwch is like bruschetta if you want to be lazy.
 
2021-03-03 11:25:16 PM  
A BLT is really a tomato sammich, flavored with bacon.
 
2021-03-03 11:27:21 PM  
Toasted bread, butter instead of mayo, and just salt and pepper for seasoning.  Nothing wrong with that.
 
2021-03-03 11:30:12 PM  
Sun-warm tomato from the garden and toasted bread, light smear of mayo with a little salt.
 
2021-03-03 11:30:46 PM  
There's something about the combo of creamy mayo and sweet/acidic tomato that is perfect. Crunchy, toasted bread or bacon makes it perfect plus 1.
My tomatoes are the best things that come out of my garden.
 
2021-03-03 11:33:31 PM  

Snapper Carr: A sandwich should have some kind of protein in it.  Tomatoes are insufficient for this purpose.


Add sharp cheddar. Voila.

(Also serve on toasted multigrain bread)
 
2021-03-03 11:34:26 PM  
Grilled cheese and tomato. Enough said.
 
2021-03-04 12:26:47 AM  
I like dark toasted crusty bread and a firm beefsteak tomato. Smear some garlic on the toast, some cream cheese. Slice up the tomato, add some seasoned salt, maybe some hot sauce. Blot that wet biatch dry and sammich.

You can make it open face, closed face. Don't matter.
 
2021-03-04 12:32:59 AM  
tomatoes are sh*t
 
2021-03-04 1:11:57 AM  
Tomato sandwich? What in the Great Depression?!
 
2021-03-04 1:41:02 AM  
Anyone dissing a tomato sandwich has never had a real tomato.

(hint: you don't buy them at Kroger's.)

One of the best sammiches I ever ate was a tomato sandwich, grown in my grandmother's garden in 1980.

Me: "Gram, what's for lunch?"

Gram:  "Tomato sandwiches!"

Me: "Wut?  That's it?"

Gram: "Try it."

(takes a bite... then inhales rest of sammich, and another)

Gram:  "Toldja."

/toasted bread, sliced tomato, salt, pepper
//and love
 
2021-03-04 1:41:54 AM  

bughunter: /toasted bread, sliced tomato, salt, pepper


Derp.  And mayo.
 
2021-03-04 3:00:18 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Throw some bacon on it and I'm all over that


can't do that; bacon costs money

/tomatoes are sh*t
 
2021-03-04 3:02:18 AM  
Tomato sandwiches are great!  Even better if you make them and can resist eating them for an hour or two so the bread, Mayo, salt and pepper have time to dance with the tomatoes and soak into the bread.  BLTs have their place but there's something sublime about a tomato sandwich on its own.

/gonna have the side of potato chips and a soda of course 😋
 
2021-03-04 3:05:28 AM  

Be polite walk on the right: tomatoes are sh*t


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-04 3:51:10 AM  
BLT? Definitely.  Tomato on white bread? Nope.  I ain't putting farkin mayo on either of them.
 
2021-03-04 5:00:05 AM  
we grew our own tomatoes in the garden of my childhood. they weren't spectacular, but not bad - better than the supermarche. can't say I've ever had a tomato sandwich, though. or maybe once later in life after having read about it? if so, it can't have been memorable.

kdawg7736: Grilled cheese and tomato. Enough said.


oh yes ^^^this. it wasn't until university I "discovered" you can put things on grilled cheese, lol! the cafeteria grill cooks would make literally any monstrosity your tiny heart desired (a friend would always get 4x4 cheeseburgers, and this was well before the in-n-out crazy) - but also always had some good suggestions.

tomato? sure, kid, ya want that raw or grilled? ya want some bacon on it too?

flipping heavenly.
 
2021-03-04 5:03:31 AM  
aside from caprese salad on bread (which even then can be very hit or miss, depending on who makes it) - some proper uses for tomato may be:

ciabatta lightly-grilled, overripe tomaten, 7spice, Cashel Blue

Fark user imageView Full Size


pain d'avignon multigrain, tomaten, 7-spice, double-Gloucester
(cheese melting dome FTMFW)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-04 5:14:23 AM  
Should be against the Geneva Convention.

Tomatoes are bad and y'all should feel bad!
 
2021-03-04 6:54:11 AM  
Try a tomato sandwich with some Marie's Creamy Italian Garlic dressing instead of mayo.
 
2021-03-04 7:41:44 AM  
Why would I ruin a perfectly good tomato by putting it on bread?

If it's a good tomato, all it needs is a bit of salt from a shaker.
 
2021-03-04 7:50:34 AM  

Snapper Carr: A sandwich should have some kind of protein in it.  Tomatoes are insufficient for this purpose.


anything's a fleshlight if your brave enough
 
2021-03-04 8:26:30 AM  
Fried green tomato sammich with pepper jack cheese, arugula, a red tomato, on a ciabatta roll.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size


Needs bacon.
 
2021-03-04 9:16:00 AM  
Add a little balsamic reduction and some chiffonade basil.
 
2021-03-04 9:18:51 AM  
If I want a slimey, slippery, snotty, metallic tasting sammich I'll go straight for the irradiated pigs brains thanks.

/*hork*
 
2021-03-04 10:46:01 AM  

NINEv2: If I want a slimey, slippery, snotty, metallic tasting sammich I'll go straight for the irradiated pigs brains thanks.

/*hork*


You're supposed to take tomatoes out of the can before you eat them.

Also, if you're putting canned tomatoes on a sandwich, then you're doing it wrong. Fresh tomatoes cut with a sharp knife are fantastic. If you don't have a knife, then eating them out of hand is also acceptable (whole tomatoes are hard to put on a sandwich, they tend to roll off).
 
2021-03-04 10:55:41 AM  

basscomm: NINEv2: If I want a slimey, slippery, snotty, metallic tasting sammich I'll go straight for the irradiated pigs brains thanks.

/*hork*

You're supposed to take tomatoes out of the can before you eat them.

Also, if you're putting canned tomatoes on a sandwich, then you're doing it wrong. Fresh tomatoes cut with a sharp knife are fantastic. If you don't have a knife, then eating them out of hand is also acceptable (whole tomatoes are hard to put on a sandwich, they tend to roll off).


I don't know why they taste so awful to me, but they do. It's literally the only food that I have such a reaction to. Love tomato sauce, love pizza, just can't do raw.
 
2021-03-04 11:04:42 AM  

NINEv2: ... just can't do raw.


Mom?
 
2021-03-04 11:27:53 AM  
I would propose aioli as a mayo alternative, possibly with roasted tomatoes.
 
2021-03-04 11:30:49 AM  

johnny_vegas: NINEv2: ... just can't do raw.

Mom?


She keeps asking

/Shorsey?
 
2021-03-04 11:33:33 AM  
I do more of a caprese-style tomato sandwich. Tomato, fresh basil, mozzarella, plenty of fresh ground pepper, and an over-medium egg on top.


petec: Snapper Carr: A sandwich should have some kind of protein in it.  Tomatoes are insufficient for this purpose.

anything's a fleshlight if your brave enough


Sounds like a job for the cum micromanager.

/I'm so sorry
//For tainting a food thread with poltab
///Not for the joke
 
2021-03-04 12:01:11 PM  
Caprese sandwich is a significant upgrade
 
2021-03-04 12:19:39 PM  
Just read this same link at freeperville.

Along with the one about biscuits and grapes on pizza!

Clearly, food is universal.
 
2021-03-04 1:01:53 PM  
Boule bread, some of inside removed
Sliced beefsteak tomatoes
Diced onion
Dijon vinaigrette
Chiffonade of basil (optional)
Salt and pepper
 
2021-03-04 2:59:43 PM  

NINEv2: I don't know why they taste so awful to me, but they do. It's literally the only food that I have such a reaction to. Love tomato sauce, love pizza, just can't do raw.


the wife is exactly the same, does not like the texture of raw tomato. but pasta, pizza? sure, 100%. pico or salsa? eh... maybe sometimes, but not others. in salads or sammiches? no way! and yet, tomato bisque? yes please! tikka-masala gravy? oh hells yes! so yeah it's really the raw thing, fair enough.
 
2021-03-04 3:00:32 PM  

parasol: Just read this same link at freeperville.

Along with the one about biscuits and grapes on pizza!

Clearly, food is universal.


lol are they copying us or is Subs copying them? the world may never know.
 
2021-03-04 4:18:23 PM  

NINEv2: basscomm: NINEv2: If I want a slimey, slippery, snotty, metallic tasting sammich I'll go straight for the irradiated pigs brains thanks.

/*hork*

You're supposed to take tomatoes out of the can before you eat them.

Also, if you're putting canned tomatoes on a sandwich, then you're doing it wrong. Fresh tomatoes cut with a sharp knife are fantastic. If you don't have a knife, then eating them out of hand is also acceptable (whole tomatoes are hard to put on a sandwich, they tend to roll off).

I don't know why they taste so awful to me, but they do. It's literally the only food that I have such a reaction to. Love tomato sauce, love pizza, just can't do raw.


I used to dislike them.

But all the varieties have so many different flavors, levels of acidity.

They've grown on me. Think branching out hard-core and making my own salsas and marinara really made me appreciate the different types of tomatoes.
 
2021-03-04 4:40:41 PM  

Shelbyraed: Sun-warm tomato from the garden and toasted bread, light smear of mayo with a little salt.


This guy gets it
 
2021-03-04 5:51:35 PM  

tintar: parasol: Just read this same link at freeperville.

Along with the one about biscuits and grapes on pizza!

Clearly, food is universal.

lol are they copying us or is Subs copying them? the world may never know.


Hey tintar, I ordered that Portofino tuna for a salad nicoise.  Worked great, thanks!!
 
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