Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some hamster)   We have drive through vaccinations and testing for Covid19. Why not drive through colonoscopy services?   (gastrofbg.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Gastroenterology, Endoscopy, Digestion, State of the art, Endoscopic retrograde cholangiopancreatography, Gastroenterology Associates of Fredericksburg, Medicine, Esophagogastroduodenoscopy  
•       •       •

131 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Mar 2021 at 1:35 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-03 11:33:10 AM  
it's not like there's not already plenty of @ssholes behind the wheel....
 
2021-03-03 11:51:44 AM  
They knocked me out for my colonoscopy and my wife had to drive me home.  How would they do that in a car?
 
2021-03-03 11:54:14 AM  
Drive-thru?  No...you'd definitely have to back in!
 
2021-03-03 12:14:10 PM  
There it is, the stupidest thing I'll read all day.
 
2021-03-03 12:26:11 PM  
You're just asking for accidents.

I'm choosing to be non-specific with that statement.
 
2021-03-03 1:21:47 PM  
There's such a thing as virtual colonoscopy, Subs. How well Zoom works in your lower intestine...no idea...
 
2021-03-03 1:27:52 PM  
I thought this was a very stupid idea provided in the link. Since it seems asked only by subby I will assume subby has not had, or known anyone who has had, a colonoscopy.

just off the top of my head:

1) you need to be put under and driven home afterwards
2) have you seen people's cars? not exactly the sterile environment for invasive medical procedures
3) what, you just shove your ass through the window while the doctor probes you?
4) they're not short procedures, having a bunch of cars queueing up for 30-60 minute procedures just means long lines and kinda defeats the "drive-thru" concept.

Other than that, yeah, great idea.
 
2021-03-03 1:37:36 PM  

iheartscotch: There's such a thing as virtual colonoscopy, Subs. How well Zoom works in your lower intestine...no idea...


Funny coincidence - I set my my Zoom background to "intestinal lining" for work meetings.
 
2021-03-03 1:37:48 PM  
statnews.comView Full Size

Whenever I see a commercial for Cologuard, I chuckle at the idea that there are trucks, trains, and planes shipping boxes of poop all over the place.  I'm not a sophisticated man.
 
2021-03-03 1:52:03 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: They knocked me out for my colonoscopy and my wife had to drive me home.  How would they do that in a car?


I have one scheduled for March, no anesthesia planned, and I had to request that.  It might be mildly uncomfortable for an hour.  I'll get over it.  No anesthesia is the norm for most of the world.

I wasn't super thrilled that the insurance/medical norm was to deflect after care to my friends/family, especially in a pandemic.  I'll be able to drive myself home.
 
2021-03-03 1:56:03 PM  

Ker_Thwap: The Googles Do Nothing: They knocked me out for my colonoscopy and my wife had to drive me home.  How would they do that in a car?

I have one scheduled for March, no anesthesia planned, and I had to request that.  It might be mildly uncomfortable for an hour.  I'll get over it.  No anesthesia is the norm for most of the world.

I wasn't super thrilled that the insurance/medical norm was to deflect after care to my friends/family, especially in a pandemic.  I'll be able to drive myself home.


I was promised by friends and relatives who had colonoscopies before me that I'd feel awesome coming out of anesthesia, but I didn't feel any different than waking up in the morning.   I was bummed about that.
 
2021-03-03 1:59:16 PM  

nmrsnr: 3) what, you just shove your ass through the window while the doctor probes you?


And make sure it's actually the doctor.  Any pervert can buy a lab coat, latex gloves, and petroleum jelly and hang out in front of a hospital all day.
 
2021-03-03 2:04:39 PM  

UNC_Samurai: nmrsnr: 3) what, you just shove your ass through the window while the doctor probes you?

And make sure it's actually the doctor.  Any pervert can buy a lab coat, latex gloves, and petroleum jelly and hang out in front of a hospital all day.


stampboards.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-03 2:04:43 PM  
I got knocked out for mine, but when I awoke my shorts were off and my throat hurt for 3 days.
 
2021-03-03 2:22:32 PM  
I lost my dear amazing Dad to colon cancer, so I have taken as many as the Drs say for a person my age and family medical history, so I had my 6th in 17 yrs, in December 2020.  I urge everyone over 50 to have baseline one.  However, not in your car!

I have been put under for each!

I have very mixed thoughts of colo-guard.  Their figures of catching so many cases is disputed by my gastroenterologist and several others that I know.
 
2021-03-03 2:50:42 PM  
After the prep work, you'll feel like someone drove through there.
 
2021-03-03 2:53:09 PM  

growinthings: I lost my dear amazing Dad to colon cancer, so I have taken as many as the Drs say for a person my age and family medical history, so I had my 6th in 17 yrs, in December 2020.  I urge everyone over 50 to have baseline one.  However, not in your car!

I have been put under for each!

I have very mixed thoughts of colo-guard.  Their figures of catching so many cases is disputed by my gastroenterologist and several others that I know.


I would them to do it at 40. A week after Bosman died, the 45 year old guy across the ally told me he been in the hospital for it also.
 
2021-03-03 3:08:50 PM  
I tried to get one of those once.  But when I went to sign the release form, the guy at the window didn't have a pen.

Turns out, some asshole stole it.
 
2021-03-03 3:23:09 PM  
I had one that went wrong. I came to in the OR, and everything was covered in blood, including my doctor. They put me out again right away. I spent 2 days inpatient while my hemoglobin numbers recovered.

If I hadn't been in an OR, I would have likely bled to death.
 
2021-03-03 4:17:42 PM  

growinthings: I lost my dear amazing Dad to colon cancer, so I have taken as many as the Drs say for a person my age and family medical history, so I had my 6th in 17 yrs, in December 2020.  I urge everyone over 50 to have baseline one.  However, not in your car!

I have been put under for each!

I have very mixed thoughts of colo-guard.  Their figures of catching so many cases is disputed by my gastroenterologist and several others that I know.


I'm due for my post-50 first one.  My doctor told me I can't do poop-in-the-box until he can see the results from a conventional colonoscopy.

Then he retired.  So I need a new doctor first.
 
2021-03-03 5:42:52 PM  
just like Facebook, they're good for looking-up old friends
 
2021-03-03 5:57:03 PM  

Diogenes: growinthings: I lost my dear amazing Dad to colon cancer, so I have taken as many as the Drs say for a person my age and family medical history, so I had my 6th in 17 yrs, in December 2020.  I urge everyone over 50 to have baseline one.  However, not in your car!

I have been put under for each!

I have very mixed thoughts of colo-guard.  Their figures of catching so many cases is disputed by my gastroenterologist and several others that I know.

I'm due for my post-50 first one.  My doctor told me I can't do poop-in-the-box until he can see the results from a conventional colonoscopy.

Then he retired.  So I need a new doctor first.


https://www.google.com/search?q=gastr​o​entwtologists+doing+colonoscopies+in+o​rlando+fla&oq=gastroentwtologists+doin​g+colonoscopies+in+orlando+fla&aqs=chr​ome..69i57j33i299.40247j0j7&client=ms-​android-tmus-us-revc&sourceid=chrome-m​obile&ie=UTF-8

Pick one and get it done, buddy.
 
2021-03-03 6:08:57 PM  
 
2021-03-03 6:14:40 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [statnews.com image 645x645]
Whenever I see a commercial for Cologuard, I chuckle at the idea that there are trucks, trains, and planes shipping boxes of poop all over the place.  I'm not a sophisticated man.


If Commercials were Real Life - Cologuard
Youtube 5sDmms-WmD8


(NSFW language)
 
2021-03-03 6:44:51 PM  

Concrete Donkey: https://www.webmd.com/colorectal-canc​e​r/home-test-colon-cancer-cologuard

and thread is now done


'Fraid not.

It says you should get a colonoscopy if you're high risk. Everyone should have their first test be a colonoscopy because you don't always know that you're high risk.
What if there's no history of colon cancer in your family, but unbeknownst to you, some of them are carriers of colon cancer. And you have one or more gene mutations pretty much assuring you'll have colon cancer sooner or later, from this being handed down from generation to generation.

Source: my, and one of my sister's, experience. It's not always straight forward. Found out with a colonoscopy and then genetic testing and counseling.
 
2021-03-03 6:49:16 PM  

The Googles Do Nothing: They knocked me out for my colonoscopy and my wife had to drive me home.  How would they do that in a car?


^^^^^THIS^^^^
You're knocked out and have to arrange for a ride home, no excuses, no options.
 
2021-03-03 6:55:04 PM  
Well, the benefit of the search for what was wrong last year (cancer) was that I couldn't put my colonoscopy off any longer. I'd given in and scheduled it, and they called 2 days later to cancel, as all outpatient visits were canceled due to the lockdown (these calls happened a year ago this week, actually), and then in the summer, I got a camera in both ends anyway. The nurse called it the shish-ka-bob... 😁 Everything was clear there, which is good, so it wasn't really scary cancer...
 
2021-03-03 8:44:40 PM  
Get the Roto Rooter guy to do it at your home while he's scoping your drains. You won't need to drive at all.
 
2021-03-03 9:13:27 PM  

lindalouwho: Concrete Donkey: https://www.webmd.com/colorectal-cance​r/home-test-colon-cancer-cologuard

and thread is now done

'Fraid not.

It says you should get a colonoscopy if you're high risk. Everyone should have their first test be a colonoscopy because you don't always know that you're high risk.


^^ This

My first colonoscopy they found two polyps - benign - so every 5 years I'm getting probed.  I woke up during the first procedure to see them snip a polyp on a huge TV in front of me and I went - oooh, cool!.  Then the doc asked me to move just a bit and I heard "perfect" and it all went dark again and came to in the recovery room.

The gastro place I go to has a not so horrible prep procedure; low/no fiber for several days prior to the test followed by over the counter meds and non-red Gatoraid for the final 'purge'.
 
2021-03-04 3:21:28 AM  
Drive-in colonoscopy services aren't very practical but they'll come visit you where you are -
you'll know when it's them because they'll be driving a brown Probe.
 
2021-03-04 4:29:28 AM  
Cancers run in my can't like water down steep hills. So, as soon as doctors said to start, I did.

Irony: I'm gay but do not like anal stuff. Do t like things going in there & don't like scrubbing Pokey with steel wool after. Just - ick. Fortunately, Hubby has a compatible limited repertoire as well & we're happy with it.

So, got probed every 3 years, my tri-annual reconfirmation that I do not like it. In Dec 2016, I was found to have multiple myeloma, bladder cancer & a metastasis on my spinal L2. Prognosis: 8 mos.

I was irradiated for the L2 & got sick: 10 days in hospital, 3 in coma. VA & Teamsters picked up all but $247 of the nearly $200k bill. I'm still here

Tried alternating treatments between bladder & myeloma but they conflict & compete, so best decision was to remove my bladder last Nov. 2 weeks in a ori ate suite at VA Palo Alto (still not sure why I got the suite). My share: $293. I have an ostomy bag. I'm still here & so is Hubby after 25+ years together.

For some reason people say I'm a fighter. I just do what my medical team tells me. They know more about it than I do so I trust them. Isn't that why we pay professionals; for their educations? Must work because I'm still here.

Every night Hubby tethers me to the bed & urine bag. I can do it but he likes taking care of me. Twice each week, Mondays & Fridays, he changes my ostomy bag because he can see it better. I can do it but he likes caring for me. Be loads my rolling walker into the Dodge Journey we bought when we downsized to one car because I no longer drive & schleps me 120 miles each way to my labs, infusions & scans. He goes to every appointment & asks questions. I swear more people there know him better than me. We're still here.

He's had one colonoscopy but cancer isn't in his family. They're diabetics. We all live close by. They make sure I'm watched if Hubby's away for a few hours. I tutor the grandkids by links to pay back. They bring food. They watch the dog. I'm part of the family for 25+ years. They're still here. Half of His bus nephews can't remember a time before Ti' Lurk. I'm still here.

Do what the doctors say. Even bad news can be managed. It's better if you find the right person, what the Russians call a fellow traveler: a "sputnik." (Think about that name choice for the first satellite!) It's a common name used for old married folk. Hubby & I are still here.

Seriously: if you're 45, go have a doctor shove a vacuum hose up your bum & shine a beam up your backside. It could save your life. Don't worry if you'll be missed but think what you might be missing if you're not here.
 
2021-03-04 4:54:21 AM  

The Googles Do Nothing: They knocked me out for my colonoscopy and my wife had to drive me home.  How would they do that in a car?


Your wife can't drive round trips? That is a weird disability.
 
2021-03-04 5:37:37 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Cancers run in my can't like water down steep hills. So, as soon as doctors said to start, I did.

Irony: I'm gay but do not like anal stuff. Do t like things going in there & don't like scrubbing Pokey with steel wool after. Just - ick. Fortunately, Hubby has a compatible limited repertoire as well & we're happy with it.

So, got probed every 3 years, my tri-annual reconfirmation that I do not like it. In Dec 2016, I was found to have multiple myeloma, bladder cancer & a metastasis on my spinal L2. Prognosis: 8 mos.

I was irradiated for the L2 & got sick: 10 days in hospital, 3 in coma. VA & Teamsters picked up all but $247 of the nearly $200k bill. I'm still here

Tried alternating treatments between bladder & myeloma but they conflict & compete, so best decision was to remove my bladder last Nov. 2 weeks in a ori ate suite at VA Palo Alto (still not sure why I got the suite). My share: $293. I have an ostomy bag. I'm still here & so is Hubby after 25+ years together.

For some reason people say I'm a fighter. I just do what my medical team tells me. They know more about it than I do so I trust them. Isn't that why we pay professionals; for their educations? Must work because I'm still here.

Every night Hubby tethers me to the bed & urine bag. I can do it but he likes taking care of me. Twice each week, Mondays & Fridays, he changes my ostomy bag because he can see it better. I can do it but he likes caring for me. Be loads my rolling walker into the Dodge Journey we bought when we downsized to one car because I no longer drive & schleps me 120 miles each way to my labs, infusions & scans. He goes to every appointment & asks questions. I swear more people there know him better than me. We're still here.

He's had one colonoscopy but cancer isn't in his family. They're diabetics. We all live close by. They make sure I'm watched if Hubby's away for a few hours. I tutor the grandkids by links to pay back. They bring food. They watch the dog. I'm part of the family ...


I am constantly impressed when I read your posts, by your incredibly upbeat attitude in the face of adversity. I am glad you appear to be defying the odds. I figure that the excellent care from your extended support system is certainly helping. I hope things go well for you.
 
2021-03-04 5:43:48 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Cancers run in my can't like water down steep hills. So, as soon as doctors said to start, I did.

Irony: I'm gay but do not like anal stuff. Do t like things going in there & don't like scrubbing Pokey with steel wool after. Just - ick. Fortunately, Hubby has a compatible limited repertoire as well & we're happy with it.

So, got probed every 3 years, my tri-annual reconfirmation that I do not like it. In Dec 2016, I was found to have multiple myeloma, bladder cancer & a metastasis on my spinal L2. Prognosis: 8 mos.

I was irradiated for the L2 & got sick: 10 days in hospital, 3 in coma. VA & Teamsters picked up all but $247 of the nearly $200k bill. I'm still here

Tried alternating treatments between bladder & myeloma but they conflict & compete, so best decision was to remove my bladder last Nov. 2 weeks in a ori ate suite at VA Palo Alto (still not sure why I got the suite). My share: $293. I have an ostomy bag. I'm still here & so is Hubby after 25+ years together.

For some reason people say I'm a fighter. I just do what my medical team tells me. They know more about it than I do so I trust them. Isn't that why we pay professionals; for their educations? Must work because I'm still here.

Every night Hubby tethers me to the bed & urine bag. I can do it but he likes taking care of me. Twice each week, Mondays & Fridays, he changes my ostomy bag because he can see it better. I can do it but he likes caring for me. Be loads my rolling walker into the Dodge Journey we bought when we downsized to one car because I no longer drive & schleps me 120 miles each way to my labs, infusions & scans. He goes to every appointment & asks questions. I swear more people there know him better than me. We're still here.

He's had one colonoscopy but cancer isn't in his family. They're diabetics. We all live close by. They make sure I'm watched if Hubby's away for a few hours. I tutor the grandkids by links to pay back. They bring food. They watch the dog. I'm part of the family for 25+ years. They're still here. Half of His bus nephews can't remember a time before Ti' Lurk. I'm still here.

Do what the doctors say. Even bad news can be managed. It's better if you find the right person, what the Russians call a fellow traveler: a "sputnik." (Think about that name choice for the first satellite!) It's a common name used for old married folk. Hubby & I are still here.

Seriously: if you're 45, go have a doctor shove a vacuum hose up your bum & shine a beam up your backside. It could save your life. Don't worry if you'll be missed but think what you might be missing if you're not here.


You just helped me get my head on straighter about being headed for an ileostomy, I thank you for that.

I also want to encourage people to get a colonoscopy as young as they let you get it.  My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 at age 46. I'm older than her, and that's when we found out about the bad genetics. They said for 4 siblings (that's us), 2 would likely be unlucky. That's how it played out.
10 years later, we're both still here. ;)
 
Displayed 34 of 34 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.