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(Cracked)   Five Most Moronic Superman Stories Ever Written Between the debuts of Zack Snyder's Justice League and Superman & Lois, this month is shaping up to be unusually Supermanly   (cracked.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, Clark Jr., Crisis on Infinite Earths, Superman, Wonder Woman, Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Gods Destroy  
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762 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 03 Mar 2021 at 12:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-03-03 1:14:02 PM  
Superman & Lois is surprisingly well done for a CW show.  Fingers crossed it doesn't devolve into The Flash soap opera teen drama B.S.

The current run of Action Comics has been near unreadable since Rebirth.  I read it out of habit and I feel bad cancelling a title from my struggling comic book shop, but it's truly garbage.

And it's drawn like they gave it to a high school art class and said "fill in the blanks"
 
2021-03-03 1:27:35 PM  
The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.
 
2021-03-03 1:42:41 PM  

Erek the Red: The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
[Fark user image 500x651]

Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.


And just like everyone else said yesterday, he horribly failed the trolley problem. Metropolis has been proven to have a ton of crime on a daily basis, so all he did was let the entire city know that it was free reign while he waited on one person


Because god forbid he just pulls the girl off the ledge and drops her off a a psyche ward where a farking hell of a lot more help would be done for everyone involved
 
2021-03-03 1:48:34 PM  

lifeslammer: Erek the Red: The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
[Fark user image 500x651]

Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.

And just like everyone else said yesterday, he horribly failed the trolley problem. Metropolis has been proven to have a ton of crime on a daily basis, so all he did was let the entire city know that it was free reign while he waited on one person


Because god forbid he just pulls the girl off the ledge and drops her off a a psyche ward where a farking hell of a lot more help would be done for everyone involved


loser-city.comView Full Size

People have to want help, too
 
2021-03-03 1:52:14 PM  

Fano: lifeslammer: Erek the Red: The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
[Fark user image 500x651]

Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.

And just like everyone else said yesterday, he horribly failed the trolley problem. Metropolis has been proven to have a ton of crime on a daily basis, so all he did was let the entire city know that it was free reign while he waited on one person


Because god forbid he just pulls the girl off the ledge and drops her off a a psyche ward where a farking hell of a lot more help would be done for everyone involved

[loser-city.com image 850x1364]
People have to want help, too


Thing about attempted suicide is it ends with a mandatory 72 hour hold. A LOT of help can be given in those 72 hours, especially with how often suicide is a rash impulse choice
 
2021-03-03 1:57:01 PM  

lifeslammer: Fano: lifeslammer: Erek the Red: The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
[Fark user image 500x651]

Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.

And just like everyone else said yesterday, he horribly failed the trolley problem. Metropolis has been proven to have a ton of crime on a daily basis, so all he did was let the entire city know that it was free reign while he waited on one person


Because god forbid he just pulls the girl off the ledge and drops her off a a psyche ward where a farking hell of a lot more help would be done for everyone involved

[loser-city.com image 850x1364]
People have to want help, too

Thing about attempted suicide is it ends with a mandatory 72 hour hold. A LOT of help can be given in those 72 hours, especially with how often suicide is a rash impulse choice


Looks like he was willing to float there for 72 hours if need be.

And he's super fast to the point he could have gone and returned and she wouldn't have noticed. Who knows.

i.imgur.comView Full Size

It can't always be this good
 
2021-03-03 2:06:37 PM  
There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.
 
2021-03-03 2:08:30 PM  
man i am really gonna enjoy all five hours of this movie while you guys are jackin it to captain america's boyfriend
 
2021-03-03 2:53:16 PM  
https://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=2305
 
2021-03-03 4:06:09 PM  

likefunbutnot: There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.



the lesson to him from his father, imparted best in the 70's Sups movie with reeve. Was that he would have to not help us to much. he would need to take a break, he would need to not allow himself to save us from everything everyday, even though he could.
And the reason is a very good one that i finds seems to hold up as a honest observation of ourselves.
We're quick to become dependent on anything, and if he did do what he could for us, we'd become defendant on him and we'd cease our own growth.

It is a well thought out ideology i find that seems well thought out on seemingly reasonable observation of humanity.

the character is that, he would, and he could, but because of our own weakness in easily becoming dependent instead of self reliant, he should not and so does not.

the parent that allows their own child to fail and even sometimes come to some harm from their own failures, is not a monster, they are a good parent as that is part of growing up, to learn to not be dependent on your parental saftey net.
The behavior does make decent moral sense, if you know the context of it.Same with most fiction, no in our world may not make sense, but in the context of it, it does.
 
2021-03-03 4:15:32 PM  
Still better than Twilight.
 
2021-03-03 4:56:49 PM  

PvtStash: likefunbutnot: There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.


the lesson to him from his father, imparted best in the 70's Sups movie with reeve. Was that he would have to not help us to much. he would need to take a break, he would need to not allow himself to save us from everything everyday, even though he could.
And the reason is a very good one that i finds seems to hold up as a honest observation of ourselves.
We're quick to become dependent on anything, and if he did do what he could for us, we'd become defendant on him and we'd cease our own growth.

It is a well thought out ideology i find that seems well thought out on seemingly reasonable observation of humanity.

the character is that, he would, and he could, but because of our own weakness in easily becoming dependent instead of self reliant, he should not and so does not.

the parent that allows their own child to fail and even sometimes come to some harm from their own failures, is not a monster, they are a good parent as that is part of growing up, to learn to not be dependent on your parental saftey net.
The behavior does make decent moral sense, if you know the context of it.Same with most fiction, no in our world may not make sense, but in the context of it, it does.


I would like to create a world in which all the engineers got lazy knowing that superheroes would save the day and nothing was built to spec. Also that the reason the fights seemed to be getting bigger and bigger was not that the heroes were stronger but people were quietly using cheaper and flimsier building materials because there really wasn't any reason to build things to last if they would torn up in daily superhero showdowns.
 
2021-03-03 5:03:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-03 6:01:35 PM  

buntz: Superman & Lois is surprisingly well done for a CW show. Fingers crossed it doesn't devolve into The Flash soap opera teen drama B.S.


I'm really enjoying it. Way more than I expected. I appreciate that while they're spamming the "family drama" button, they've made sure all the characters have a real empathy for each other. They have conflicts, but they also have a strong familial bond.
 
2021-03-04 12:06:49 AM  

likefunbutnot: There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.


Astro City had a great story about that topic with The Samaritan, their version of Superman.

Fark user imageView Full Size

He was a workaholic superhero who is dealing with borderline burnout from rushing to save people every waking hour.
 
2021-03-04 12:08:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-04 12:18:18 AM  

Mad_Radhu: [Fark user image 425x630]


Yep - you can't really do that and still have any sort of human viewpoint.  The whole alienation theme in Watchmen and all.  In some ways our limitations are what make us who and what we are.  Trite but true shiat, but still - if you can do tons of stuff no human can, and have stresses no human can experience - you gonna be human after a while?  It seems highly unlikely.  So far the stories about it have been pretty pollyanna, honestly.  I'd think the odds are quite high you'd rapidly get inhuman individuals that were not the "Well I'm gonna try to handle it and be a decent human" Supes type thing, or even the "We're too different now I'm outta here to do my own thing" of Dr. Manhattan.  Odds are good we'd rapidly have some malicious, capricious farks with demigod powers right quick.

/something to be said for the prevalence of super-villains in comics
//those kinds of powers and capabilities would rapidly result in many that didn't give one bit of a fark about humans
///I'd imagine the "Well yeah I'm a super-being but I still care about you ants" type would be a fairly rare bird
 
2021-03-04 12:42:26 AM  

likefunbutnot: There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.


If we take that to its logical conclusion, Supes stops all crimes.  No husband ever beats their wife again.  No child is ever taken.  People even stop trying, because it's pointless; Superman will stop them.  Police are relegated to traffic management at best, not even handling traffic accidents, because those don't happen any more either.

It sounds idealized.  Until you realize that humanity is living in terror.  Subject to the whims and beliefs of a godling, who supercedes all governments in the world and acts as not just our collective Emperor, but also the entire law enforcement system.  Humanity gets no say.  They do what the god-emperor demands, or else.  There are no appeals, no checks or balances.  And what happens when Superman decides to go further?  He's not beholden to laws, after all; he's enforcing his own moral sensibilities, not laws.  Who knows how terrible that could get.  For our own good, naturally.  Because he knows best.

That's what every despotic madman has ever thought.  And this one is invincible and will root out dissent as quickly as it's whispered behind closed doors.

This isn't the better world you seem to think it would be.  It's a sterile world, where everything happens as one alien godling decrees, without any consideration of any other viewpoints allowed.  This is why Lex Luthor is kinda right.

In the end, he's only wrong because Superman's smart enough to know this would be wrong.  But even there, we're reliant on one man's moral code to keep himself under control, and there's innumerable Superman stories about how bad things go when that's not reliable.

A good Superman story has to understand both of these positions.  That he has to help where he can.  And that he can't seize control of all humanity, out of a feeling that Superman knows best.  He works best as a symbol, and an exemplar.  Rather than governing humanity, Superman seeks to be an example, in whose footsteps they could choose to follow.

Or just have him punch alien gods in the dick.  That works too.
 
2021-03-04 1:23:06 AM  

lifeslammer: Erek the Red: The thing with the jumper, here's the lead in panels:
[Fark user image 500x651]

Thanks to Fano for including that in the comments when Cracked wrote did "Superman is Cool" yesterday.

And just like everyone else said yesterday, he horribly failed the trolley problem. Metropolis has been proven to have a ton of crime on a daily basis, so all he did was let the entire city know that it was free reign while he waited on one person


Because god forbid he just pulls the girl off the ledge and drops her off a a psyche ward where a farking hell of a lot more help would be done for everyone involved


Hell, push her off the ledge and catch her at the bottom BEFORE the splat but after the "Wow, living seems a lot better than falling."
 
2021-03-04 1:42:47 AM  

Endus: likefunbutnot: There is no such thing as a good Superman story. Superman is at best a capricious demigod, choosing to help humans in between long breaks from rubbing up on Lois Lane or Wonder Woman or whatever. He is well aware of human suffering all around him and in the vast majority of cases, chooses to do nothing. I could accept a  being that is not functionally omniscient and omnipotent picking and choosing when to interfere. As things stand, he's a monster.

If we take that to its logical conclusion, Supes stops all crimes.  No husband ever beats their wife again.  No child is ever taken.  People even stop trying, because it's pointless; Superman will stop them.  Police are relegated to traffic management at best, not even handling traffic accidents, because those don't happen any more either.

It sounds idealized.  Until you realize that humanity is living in terror.  Subject to the whims and beliefs of a godling, who supercedes all governments in the world and acts as not just our collective Emperor, but also the entire law enforcement system.  Humanity gets no say.  They do what the god-emperor demands, or else.  There are no appeals, no checks or balances.  And what happens when Superman decides to go further?  He's not beholden to laws, after all; he's enforcing his own moral sensibilities, not laws.  Who knows how terrible that could get.  For our own good, naturally.  Because he knows best.

That's what every despotic madman has ever thought.  And this one is invincible and will root out dissent as quickly as it's whispered behind closed doors.

This isn't the better world you seem to think it would be.  It's a sterile world, where everything happens as one alien godling decrees, without any consideration of any other viewpoints allowed.  This is why Lex Luthor is kinda right.

In the end, he's only wrong because Superman's smart enough to know this would be wrong.  But even there, we're reliant on one man's moral code to keep himself under control, and there's innumerable Superman stories about how bad things go when that's not reliable.

A good Superman story has to understand both of these positions.  That he has to help where he can.  And that he can't seize control of all humanity, out of a feeling that Superman knows best.  He works best as a symbol, and an exemplar.  Rather than governing humanity, Superman seeks to be an example, in whose footsteps they could choose to follow.

Or just have him punch alien gods in the dick.  That works too.


Yes, we've read Red Son.
 
2021-03-04 12:27:05 PM  
The Dark universe did an interesting version in which Lois gets Superman's powers after he dies from Doomsday. She realizes all the crap he knew about and ignored. She decided to do something about it.
 
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