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(TC Palm)   Flame thrower. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every MF in the room, accept no substitutes   (tcpalm.com) divider line
    More: Florida, St. Lucie County, Florida, Fort Pierce, Florida, Flamethrower, Port St. Lucie, Florida, makeshift flame thrower, Napalm, 57-year-old man, Port St. Lucie, Florida Metropolitan Statistical Area  
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4804 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Mar 2021 at 9:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-03-02 8:59:52 AM  
I have always wanted a flamethrower. It would be cool. I can torture Japanese beetles that invade my garden with it (throw it on the sidewalk first).
 
2021-03-02 9:05:02 AM  
purple aussie hair spray and a red lighter
just the facts ma'am
 
2021-03-02 9:16:12 AM  
Rick Dalton approves.
 
2021-03-02 9:31:19 AM  
The victim said she felt the literal heat on her face.

I feel almost certain that the literal writer of this story is below the literal age of 35.
 
2021-03-02 9:36:56 AM  
BFG9000 clears a room better.
 
2021-03-02 9:37:27 AM  

Naido: The victim said she felt the literal heat on her face.

I feel almost certain that the literal writer of this story is below the literal age of 35.


Like, totally.
 
2021-03-02 9:37:30 AM  
nocleansinging.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:37:41 AM  

kdawg7736: I have always wanted a flamethrower. It would be cool. I can torture Japanese beetles that invade my garden with it (throw it on the sidewalk first).


Engine starting fluid (mostly ether) for the win. I wonder if you can even get that any more, since most cars are fuel injected and don't have carburetors. Oh well, I hope I contributed to some juvenile's delinquency.

/Knowledge is power.
 
2021-03-02 9:37:59 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:38:57 AM  

Jack Sabbath: Rick Dalton approves.


"Is everyone ok?"

"Well the farkin' hippies aren't, that's for goddamn sure!"
 
2021-03-02 9:39:54 AM  

kdawg7736: I have always wanted a flamethrower. It would be cool. I can torture Japanese beetles that invade my garden with it (throw it on the sidewalk first).


Back in the 70s my parents had a garden flamethrower.
One of these.
Sheen flame gun
Youtube YeecAnl9GKs


It burned paraffin and was meant to kill weeds.
 
2021-03-02 9:40:42 AM  
Expected a Not A Flamethrower article

/Boring
 
2021-03-02 9:42:26 AM  

Gleeman: [nocleansinging.com image 492x449]


Bonus for Chesty Puller's comment when shown the first flame thrower. "Where do you attach the bayonet?"
 
2021-03-02 9:46:12 AM  

Jack Sabbath: Rick Dalton approves.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:46:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Oblig
//The kids will love it.
/// merchandising!
 
2021-03-02 9:49:39 AM  
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:50:59 AM  
Thank you, subby, for using the right accept/except
 
2021-03-02 9:51:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

You got a nice flame job there, Becha. I'm gon' gi'ya a lil' touchup! A lil' touchup! Just a lil' touchup for ya!
 
2021-03-02 9:51:29 AM  

whyRpeoplesostupid: purple aussie hair spray and a red lighter
just the facts ma'am


My first girlfriend used that stuff (the hairspray). It was the 80s, so she used a lot of it. I can still imagine exactly what it smells like.
 
2021-03-02 9:51:53 AM  

grimlock1972: [Fark user image image 328x154]

/Oblig
//The kids will love it.
/// merchandising!


Yes!

My current mask...YRLY:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:53:17 AM  
The man, a Fort Pierce resident, may have had a burning sensation he was in trouble when jailed Feb. 23 on a charge of felony burglary
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:53:22 AM  
These were about $1,500 when they first came out. Still overpriced, but they are fun :)
 
2021-03-02 9:53:59 AM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size

Oblig
 
2021-03-02 9:54:55 AM  

Jack Sabbath: Rick Dalton approves.


i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:57:25 AM  
A 57-year-old man was arrested after accusations he burglarized a home ... The caller stated the man "was using a can of (h)air spray along with a lighter to create a flame thrower," an affidavit states.

Further evidence that some 8-year-olds never grow up
 
2021-03-02 9:58:06 AM  
Agrees
images2.minutemediacdn.comView Full Size

Burn baby burn!
 
2021-03-02 10:05:27 AM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:07:28 AM  
"The man, a Fort Pierce resident, may have had a burning sensation he was in trouble when jailed Feb. 23..."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:09:55 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:25:08 AM  

Two16: [Fark user image image 450x191]


I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FARKING CHAIR!
 
2021-03-02 10:28:15 AM  
gamerstavern.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:31:43 AM  

Destructor: kdawg7736: I have always wanted a flamethrower. It would be cool. I can torture Japanese beetles that invade my garden with it (throw it on the sidewalk first).

Engine starting fluid (mostly ether) for the win. I wonder if you can even get that any more, since most cars are fuel injected and don't have carburetors. Oh well, I hope I contributed to some juvenile's delinquency.

/Knowledge is power.


Brake cleaning fluid is high up there on the flammable list.
 
2021-03-02 10:51:17 AM  
brundleflyonthewall.files.wordpress.comView Full Size


Knows how to use a flamethrower
 
2021-03-02 10:58:18 AM  

pwkpete: [brundleflyonthewall.files.wordpress.​c​om image 462x256]

Knows how to use a flamethrower


R.I.P. Whitman, Price, and Haddad.
 
2021-03-02 11:28:33 AM  
James Bond approves

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 11:33:55 AM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 11:34:06 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 11:38:17 AM  
Was it at least an American-made Tesla flame thrower, or just some random Chinese import?
 
2021-03-02 11:40:13 AM  

Gleeman: [nocleansinging.com image 492x449]


The full bit...love how he says Dark Brown
George Carlin - Flamethrowers
Youtube V4nknAzQPHE
 
2021-03-02 11:48:26 AM  
Time to change your farkin' locks and invest in a security system, lady
/ and/or a dog
 
2021-03-02 11:54:53 AM  

The_Sponge: grimlock1972: [Fark user image image 328x154]

/Oblig
//The kids will love it.
/// merchandising!

Yes!

My current mask...YRLY:

[Fark user image 425x412]


Oh, why wasn't I able to find that out before I bought my masks?  It's obvious, really.  Should've realized they'd be available somewhere.  Now I feel like I missed out.
 
2021-03-02 11:55:08 AM  
Or,
A can of hair spray and a lighter.

//cue the "media guide to firearms" meme
 
2021-03-02 12:04:52 PM  
Why do I feel like you're talking about me?
 
2021-03-02 12:08:48 PM  

Enigmamf: Why do I feel like you're talking about me?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 12:31:04 PM  
Me, me, me, it's not always about YOU ya know!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:08:28 PM  
Meet the Pyro
Youtube WUhOnX8qt3I
 
2021-03-02 1:43:18 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:47:29 PM  

cefm: [gamerstavern.com image 256x224]


ORLY?
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


/couldn't find one with the flamethrower
//man, that triggered memories
 
2021-03-02 1:55:05 PM  

Nick Nostril: Naido: The victim said she felt the literal heat on her face.

I feel almost certain that the literal writer of this story is below the literal age of 35.

Like, totally.


If you thought that was bad, you should have seen the linked article to the drunk guy who trashed a bathroom in a restaurant after getting cut off.
The article writer proceeds to explain what beer is...and what a toilet is. I kid you not.

How about we don't link to that site again?
 
2021-03-02 1:55:07 PM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: kdawg7736: I have always wanted a flamethrower. It would be cool. 
Back in the 70s my parents had a garden flamethrower.
One of these.
[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/YeecAnl9​GKs]
It burned paraffin and was meant to kill weeds.


Friend who'd lived in Oregon as a teenager said his dad had one, used it for fighting the invasive blackberries in the yard, dad would run the flamethrower and the kids would use shovels to put out the leftovers. Fun.

I'm assuming you're UK or at least non-US; over here "paraffin" is candle wax, and the liquid stuff gets called kerosene or kerosine.
 
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