Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Cracked)   Cracked is finally right   (cracked.com) divider line
    More: Hero, Superman, Superhero, Lois Lane, Superman's powers, lot of people, Dark Knight Returns, DC's foremost evil space deity, kills lots of people  
•       •       •

3179 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 02 Mar 2021 at 12:30 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



67 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-03-01 7:41:32 PM  
Just for the record, the scene in the first episode of that new Superman & Lois series, where Superman saves a kid while dressed in his classic costume, with the black S-logo, and the kid is all "Nice costume" and he responds "Thanks, my mom made it for me!" before flying off was absolutely perfect.

Kinda wish they'd kept that costume instead of switching to the modern one for the rest of the show.
 
2021-03-01 7:47:06 PM  
Pffft.
 
2021-03-01 8:07:19 PM  
Nope subby, Superman is boring, they just kept inventing shiat for him. Any time there was a limitation, they gave him a new super power. I'm surprised that they're still going with the Kryptonite thing, since it's just a limitation.
 
2021-03-01 8:11:42 PM  
Here's an example of how "complex" he is, straight from TFA:

s3.crackedcdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 8:55:27 PM  
Superman - Main Theme (BBC Proms)
Youtube EBatxZ90wag
 
2021-03-01 9:06:39 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

I had a very dysfunctional childhood and finally was emancipated when I was 15.  On the way to me new home we passed a comic book store.  I asked if we could stop there for a few minutes.  I bought one thing and I still have it.  My mother never let me read comic books or have them in her house.  But that did not stop me from reading my friends' books.  The next week in my new home I did go back to that store and left about $40.00 lighter.  I'll not bore you TFers and liters, but that big red "S" does mean HOPE!!!!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 12:38:15 AM  
He gets his power from our yellow sun.  Ergo, he's powerless indoors or at night.  Fail writing.
 
2021-03-02 1:07:41 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:08:30 AM  

syrynxx: He gets his power from our yellow sun.  Ergo, he's powerless indoors or at night.  Fail writing.


It could be neutrinos.
 
2021-03-02 1:16:57 AM  
Nice try on the part of the author but he wasted his time. I've been preaching about the greatness of Superman and why he's the best Superhero my entire life and literally nobody cares. Society prefers the billionaire pedo who likes beating up strange men in bondage gear. That's America now. People gave up on Superman specifically because he represents the best we can be. And everyone saw that and went "nah" then went back to eating glue.
 
2021-03-02 1:23:09 AM  

Esroc: Nice try on the part of the author but he wasted his time. I've been preaching about the greatness of Superman and why he's the best Superhero my entire life and literally nobody cares. Society prefers the billionaire pedo who likes beating up strange men in bondage gear. That's America now. People gave up on Superman specifically because he represents the best we can be. And everyone saw that and went "nah" then went back to eating glue.


pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:28:16 AM  
There was a time, several years ago, when Cracked was really funny and on the cusp of the social movement.  They've since sold out, when they started focusing on clickbait articles rather than coming up with original ideas and points of view.
 
2021-03-02 1:29:39 AM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:30:19 AM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

You can count on Superman
 
2021-03-02 1:33:49 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
Lot of neat tricks a creative mind can pull with Superman
 
2021-03-02 1:35:46 AM  

Fano: [64.media.tumblr.com image 500x651]
You can count on Superman


While Superman was hanging out all day waiting, an orphanage burned down during puppy and kitten day.
 
2021-03-02 1:37:13 AM  

Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs: Fano: [64.media.tumblr.com image 500x651]
You can count on Superman

While Superman was hanging out all day waiting, an orphanage burned down during puppy and kitten day.


townsquare.mediaView Full Size

It's how he gets his jollies
 
2021-03-02 1:42:12 AM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size

Let's see if this can deliver
 
2021-03-02 1:45:12 AM  
dailysuperheroes.comView Full Size

He's also hard to top for batshiat insane comics

dailysuperheroes.comView Full Size


i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 1:45:57 AM  

Fano: Lot of neat tricks a creative mind can pull with Superman


Goddamn, I've never seen that one before. What run is that from?  Art style reminds me of the Marvel Ultimates series.
 
2021-03-02 1:48:23 AM  
Well sh*t.

I was going to say Superman sucks and be fine with it but it's the rare Cracked article these days that is right.
 
2021-03-02 1:50:04 AM  

FightDirector: Fano: Lot of neat tricks a creative mind can pull with Superman

Goddamn, I've never seen that one before. What run is that from?  Art style reminds me of the Marvel Ultimates series.


Mark Waid, Superman: Birthright issue 6
 
2021-03-02 1:56:55 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 2:16:18 AM  
Boring superhero, god from space, shiatty disguise/no mask, no real problems. It was the 30s, what do you expect? Superman is just a series of people with an inexplicably pathological vendetta against him getting their hands on the one thing that kills him. He's handsome and buff, he's not interesting.

Spider-man is the best superhero because he's broke and his life sucks. He's vulnerable and complicated and that's what makes him relatable and interesting. He's always late, distracted, trouble at school, trouble with girls. Someone does a crime, he feels compelled to stop it, and it farks up his whole day.
 
2021-03-02 2:23:51 AM  
Superman is only 'boring' if you're an unimaginative hack who thinks movies have to be cynical, violent and angsty to be "mature" or "deep", and if they aren't that brand of "mature", they're "kids' stuff."

Unfortunately, DC and WB seem to be primarily run by those hacks.
 
2021-03-02 2:27:39 AM  

moothemagiccow: Boring superhero, god from space, shiatty disguise/no mask, no real problems. It was the 30s, what do you expect? Superman is just a series of people with an inexplicably pathological vendetta against him getting their hands on the one thing that kills him. He's handsome and buff, he's not interesting.

Spider-man is the best superhero because he's broke and his life sucks. He's vulnerable and complicated and that's what makes him relatable and interesting. He's always late, distracted, trouble at school, trouble with girls. Someone does a crime, he feels compelled to stop it, and it farks up his whole day.


Spider-Man is more interesting when he's allowed to actually succeed in life. He's graduated, he's run a successful business, he's had a happy marriage.

And then farkwits reboot him because tHaT's NoT mY sPiDeR-mAn, and the character stagnates.
 
2021-03-02 2:49:14 AM  
Superman is a dick
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 2:53:08 AM  
Now I need to read the Aliens/ Super crossover.
 
2021-03-02 3:01:47 AM  
Laurie Anderson - O Superman [Official Music Video]
Youtube Vkfpi2H8tOE
 
2021-03-02 3:15:17 AM  

Tom Marvolo Bombadil: [Fark user image 293x200] [View Full Size image _x_]


Superfriends don't let superfriends drink Johnnie Red
 
2021-03-02 4:04:01 AM  
the man of metropolis steals are hearts - sufjan stevens / man of steel tribute
Youtube bx33F8GRSQU
 
2021-03-02 7:05:35 AM  
He's a chump and super easy to contain.

First you challenge him to a fight.
Then you surrender when he shows up.
The you go at him a week later.
 
2021-03-02 8:15:35 AM  
Lol that shiat isn't real who cares
 
2021-03-02 8:28:10 AM  
a Superman thread and THIS hasn't shown up?!?

What the heck Fark!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeyhK​W​jQaKk (not a Rick Roll)
 
2021-03-02 8:46:53 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 9:37:25 AM  

Autoerotic Defenestration: [Fark user image image 500x735]


They're obviously helping Robin get a date with this one. Have a little sympathy, can't be easy for him when he's running around in that outfit.
 
2021-03-02 10:02:51 AM  
Sigh...y'all disappoint me
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:17:50 AM  
 
2021-03-02 10:21:18 AM  

Robinfro: Sigh...y'all disappoint me
[Fark user image image 153x750]


Sejic really "gets" Supes in a special way

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:32:10 AM  
I dislike Superman because it turns the hero / villain tropes upside down.

Superman is a big all-powerful dummy. His adversaries are either weaker or completely powerless. That means the bad-guys are the clever and intelligent characters plotting ways to topple the all-powerful. Pretty much a reversal of US history. He helped push the idea of just showing-up is enough. The bad guys diligently study, seek allies in secret, conceive of elaborate plans, and carefully design their efforts circumvent the unstoppable hero.

Yes, Lex Luthor should be the hero.
 
2021-03-02 10:38:22 AM  

bloobeary: Just for the record, the scene in the first episode of that new Superman & Lois series, where Superman saves a kid while dressed in his classic costume, with the black S-logo, and the kid is all "Nice costume" and he responds "Thanks, my mom made it for me!" before flying off was absolutely perfect.

Kinda wish they'd kept that costume instead of switching to the modern one for the rest of the show.


That scene is direct reference in to one of my favorite Superman comics, A Superman For All Seasons:

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

It's a great story, by the same team who did The Long Halloween. There's a great bit where Lex Luther hits a young, inexperienced Superman with a crisis that he can't fight the way he is used to:

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:38:48 AM  

madgonad: I dislike Superman because it turns the hero / villain tropes upside down.

Superman is a big all-powerful dummy. His adversaries are either weaker or completely powerless. That means the bad-guys are the clever and intelligent characters plotting ways to topple the all-powerful. Pretty much a reversal of US history. He helped push the idea of just showing-up is enough. The bad guys diligently study, seek allies in secret, conceive of elaborate plans, and carefully design their efforts circumvent the unstoppable hero.

Yes, Lex Luthor should be the hero.


qph.fs.quoracdn.netView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 10:42:51 AM  

leeksfromchichis: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 391x783]


Literally the most boring character to ever grace anime. Watched the entire first season and realized the writers had absolutely no idea of how to create tension (literally at all) with an over-powered character (that also has absolutely zero depth and zero personality). Superman on the other hand has successfully navigated that road and discovered how to create that much needed tension in their stories.
 
2021-03-02 10:49:06 AM  
My problem with Superman is how stupid he is. He knows the bad guy has kryptonite, and he flies in and tries to figure it out. Why not just hang out far away, and zap him with those laser eyes?
 
2021-03-02 10:49:39 AM  

madgonad: I dislike Superman because it turns the hero / villain tropes upside down.

Superman is a big all-powerful dummy. His adversaries are either weaker or completely powerless. That means the bad-guys are the clever and intelligent characters plotting ways to topple the all-powerful. Pretty much a reversal of US history. He helped push the idea of just showing-up is enough. The bad guys diligently study, seek allies in secret, conceive of elaborate plans, and carefully design their efforts circumvent the unstoppable hero.

Yes, Lex Luthor should be the hero.


Superman is the ultimate American immigrant.  He is the avatar of coming from a ruined land to become his best self in the land of high ideals.
 
2021-03-02 10:53:26 AM  

LordJiro: moothemagiccow: Boring superhero, god from space, shiatty disguise/no mask, no real problems. It was the 30s, what do you expect? Superman is just a series of people with an inexplicably pathological vendetta against him getting their hands on the one thing that kills him. He's handsome and buff, he's not interesting.

Spider-man is the best superhero because he's broke and his life sucks. He's vulnerable and complicated and that's what makes him relatable and interesting. He's always late, distracted, trouble at school, trouble with girls. Someone does a crime, he feels compelled to stop it, and it farks up his whole day.

Spider-Man is more interesting when he's allowed to actually succeed in life. He's graduated, he's run a successful business, he's had a happy marriage.

And then farkwits reboot him because tHaT's NoT mY sPiDeR-mAn, and the character stagnates.


You're exactly right.  He is the representative of a legit god and is smart enough to understand what Reed Richards and Tony Stark are up to.  It's ok for him to have an occasional setback, but he should be running a pretty amazing company at this point.

Also, I thought Superior Spider-Man was fantastic. Spider-Man who's not screwing around all the time.  He got stuff DONE.
 
2021-03-02 10:57:45 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-02 11:10:55 AM  
It's not that Superman is boring so much as, with limited exception, people don't know how to write him.

We've seen some really good examples of using him in fun and interesting ways. the DCAU for instance wrote him VERY well in JL and JLU. Hell, we are STILL seeing plot elements from that cropping up in other places over 20 years later.

Not Superman specifically BUT One Punch Man actually is a great deconstruction of a Superman like character.
 
2021-03-02 11:13:22 AM  

Joe Stapler: [Fark user image image 353x238]


Reminds of the line from arrowverse Superman.

Baddy shoots him to no effect, then tries punching the Big Blue Boyscout, to predictable results.

Then Supes calls him on it

"When the gun doesn't work, why the fists? Never understood that"
 
2021-03-02 11:53:18 AM  
Superman is a dick.

http://www.superdickery.com/tag/super​m​an-is-a-dick/

Actually, all DC characters are boring.
 
Displayed 50 of 67 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.