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(Yahoo)   Tim Allen, former cocaine dealer and current douche canoe, doesn't like paying taxes because what have the Romans ever done for us   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, San Diego Comic-Con International, Shut up, San Diego Comic-Con, Tim Allen, Home Improvement, Last Man Standing, much shame, bunch of college kids  
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2265 clicks; posted to Entertainment » and Politics » on 01 Mar 2021 at 5:00 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-03-01 4:07:49 PM  
"I just don't like - once I started making money - I had this silent partner that took almost half of my money and never gave me anything for it. That was the taxes," he said. "I've never liked taxes. Whoever takes the taxes and never tells me what they did with it, I'm a fiscal conservative person with money. That's it."

Well, paying for your prison stint, for one.
 
2021-03-01 4:16:33 PM  
I bet anything he's one of those who thinks the "salt of the earth middle-Americans" pay most of the taxes, and that those taxes go to support lazy liberal elites on the coast who "spend more time thinking than working."
 
2021-03-01 4:22:22 PM  
He's a high-earning person who just happens to not self-identify as a "coastal elite," so there's some cognitive dissonance going on. The wake-up call is that 95%+ of us are net beneficiaries of the taxes we pay, getting back more in services than we could ever afford on our own. I'm not saying government is efficient and couldn't be a lot better, but for most of us, that's actually the case. If you disagree, get together with a few neighbors and try to start a private sewer company or something.

He's like a Reluctant 0.01%-er. Yes, you're subsidizing us. Sorry not sorry.
 
2021-03-01 4:33:49 PM  
Tim Allen has been a small-screen staple across several decades thanks to his hit shows "Home Improvement" and "Last Man Standing." His acting and voice work - specifically for the "Toy Story" films - have made Allen a very rich man; his net worth is $100 million, according to Celebrity Net Worth.


It certainly has hampered his ability to amass a fortune
 
2021-03-01 4:50:40 PM  
AEUHHH????
Youtube Ji9qSuQapFY
 
2021-03-01 4:52:06 PM  
Whoever takes the taxes and never tells me what they did with it, I'm a fiscal conservative person with money. That's it.

Maybe you should vote for better elected officials instead of hitting the (R) button reflexively, dipsh*t.
 
2021-03-01 4:54:10 PM  

whyRpeoplesostupid: Tim Allen has been a small-screen staple across several decades thanks to his hit shows "Home Improvement" and "Last Man Standing." His acting and voice work - specifically for the "Toy Story" films - have made Allen a very rich man; his net worth is $100 million, according to Celebrity Net Worth.


It certainly has hampered his ability to amass a fortune


Yeah, how much of an asshole do you have to be to amass $100,000,000 and then complain about taxes?  At that point you just live very, very comfortably off the earnings the money itself it bringing in.  What is there to complain about, that you're not a billionaire?  smdh
 
2021-03-01 4:55:51 PM  
Just a selfish asshole, ain't nothing to be done about that.
 
2021-03-01 4:56:39 PM  
In 1978, he was arrested at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, thinking the sentence wouldn't be too harsh - then was sent to federal prison, at age 23, for two years and four months.

If he thought that was a harsh sentence, he should have tried it about a decade later as a black man with "over a pound" of crack.
 
2021-03-01 5:05:51 PM  

iron de havilland: [iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ji9qSuQa​pFY?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


Came for this, left satisfied.
 
2021-03-01 5:08:22 PM  
What's wrong Tim, is all the Buzz Lightyear money gone?
 
2021-03-01 5:09:04 PM  
i listened to that episode today and Allen was basically ok until he started spouting off about taxes and how he liked trump because trump is an asshole,doesn't care at all about trumps policies that were awful for other people and in particular marginalized groups.  I love the wtf podcast and people really show their true selves on it.  Jerry Seinfeld is also the tool i always thought he was too,thanks Marc Maron!
 
2021-03-01 5:09:29 PM  
I just don't like - once I started making money - I had this silent partner that took almost half of my money and never gave me anything for it.

Never gave you leaded water?
 
2021-03-01 5:10:34 PM  
Nobody likes paying taxes, dipshiat. It's just that some of us realize that taxes are how society pays for shiat that we need.
 
2021-03-01 5:10:45 PM  
He describes himself well...a fark up. He might be 23 years sober, but it doesn't change the underlying personality.
 
2021-03-01 5:10:55 PM  
Noted conservative sack of dung, Tim Allen.
 
2021-03-01 5:16:28 PM  
just don't like - once I started making money - I had this silent partner that took almost half of my money and never gave me anything for it

Besides paved roads, electric and communications systems, water and sewage, the internet, the Hoover dam, the 1950s economic boom brought on by the national highways project and the GI Bill, federal safety measures, should I go on?
 
2021-03-01 5:16:59 PM  
Go look at a military base, there are where all your taxes went. They certainly did not go to infrastructure or education or feeding the impoverished.
 
2021-03-01 5:19:50 PM  
cry me a river, farko
 
2021-03-01 5:21:16 PM  

Pocket Ninja: In 1978, he was arrested at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, thinking the sentence wouldn't be too harsh - then was sent to federal prison, at age 23, for two years and four months.

If he thought that was a harsh sentence, he should have tried it about a decade later as a black man with "over a pound" of crack.


Well, helps that he snitched too.

Your point still stands strong, sadly.
 
2021-03-01 5:26:41 PM  
Ha, I listened to this episode today, you could tell Allen thought he was painting himself as one of the more reasonable Republicans while complaining about taxes--the tone of his voice said, "Hey, I'm not crazy, just greedy."
 
2021-03-01 5:32:21 PM  

OMG_ItAteEveryThing: Pocket Ninja: In 1978, he was arrested at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, thinking the sentence wouldn't be too harsh - then was sent to federal prison, at age 23, for two years and four months.

If he thought that was a harsh sentence, he should have tried it about a decade later as a black man with "over a pound" of crack.

Well, helps that he snitched too.

Your point still stands strong, sadly.


I've never understood that. How that man is still breathing. He did time in a federal lockup after singing on everyone he knew. The kind of people that deal coke in pounds.... are they known for just letting bygones be bygones?
 
2021-03-01 5:32:24 PM  
A conservative actor who knows when to not talk? Gee, Ms. Gina Carano. It's almost like he still has a job and is still conservative.
See how that works?
(Although I did hear one of his onscreen daughter's quit the show because she couldn't stand him)
 
2021-03-01 5:33:06 PM  
I'm gonna get a little to complicated for Tim Allen to follow here, but money is, at its core, a promise to pay. When the bank lends you $100K to take out a mortgage, they don't literally pile up $100K and send it over to the folks who currently own the house: they just send an IOU: "Hey, we owe you $100K, but we got this loser here who's going to pay us for it, and if they don't, we get the house, so even though this is an IOU, it's as good as $100K."

Now, that might seem kinda shady, but it does make sense: the bank has a lien on the real property, they've got you on the hook for paying off the mortgage, and worst case, if everything goes to pot, they can probably pull that $100K out of someplace else when they need to actually provide cash for real. It's only really a problem if a lot of loans go bad all at the same time (and that badness can be magnified if the bank holding your debt creates a derivative, and uses that to invent more debt- look, I said it was going to get too complicated for Tim Allen, but none of this derivative stuff actually matters right now).

Anyway, fine, banks can just invent money by IOU. There are rules and restrictions about how much they can invent, but they can invent money.

And so does the government. Each dollar the US puts into circulation is just an IOU, a promise to deliver some amount of value in the future. It's like when you go to the county fair and buy tickets. Those little tickets you buy are a promise that you'll get to interact with the attractions. But the county fair has an ability to default: it ends. You can get drunk and rowdy and they kick you out. You can get bored and leave. You might lose them. A methed up carnie can hit the wrong button and kill you on the tilt-a-whirl. No matter how many tickets they sell, they know they won't expect all of them to get called in.

Imagine the US as a county fair that never ends. If they let people just keep buying tickets at whatever rate they want, and at some point, there will be more tickets in circulation than could ever possibly be spent on attractions. Suddenly everybody's lining up to get on the Cyclotron and the carnie jacks up the prices so half the crowd goes over to the guess your weight booth, but the guess your weight booth is backing up, so the carnies jack up the prices and you've got inflation. It used to cost only 2 tickets to ride the Wild Mouse, but now it costs 30, and the line is still too long, and little Timmy is crying because it's been a long day at the county fair and he really just wants to go home, but goddammit you've been in line for two hours already.

Phew, anyway, what's important to note here is that these tickets aren't actually paying for the rides. Keep in mind, in this tortured metaphor, the county fair is the entire country, and that means you're not just a guest at the fair, you're also an employee. The county fair pays you in tickets which you can exchange at booths in the county fair for food, services, and entertainment. So you earn tickets by working, and that still means there are more tickets in circulation than can possibly be used to ride on rides, so inflation is still a problem. But there's a simple fix! Make the tickets expire.

Just say, for example, that at the end of the day, everybody has to turn in 10% of their tickets. The number of tickets in circulation will still grow, but more slowly. Inflation isn't utterly out of control, and since new people are coming to the fairgrounds, and since they're also employees of the fair, they're also running new rides, and the whole thing is expanding and getting bigger and better.

That's taxes. Taxes isn't "taking your money away", and taxes isn't funding the government. The government doesn't need taxes! They can just make more money. You need taxes, because taxes keep inflation under control.

Also, I need a hobby, because jesusfark why did I put that much time and effort into this post.
 
2021-03-01 5:38:31 PM  
Loses his father to a drunk driver, becomes a drunk driver.
Yup, he's an idiot.
 
2021-03-01 5:40:54 PM  

Heamer: What's wrong Tim, is all the Buzz Lightyear money gone?


Well, given his past...maybe.

I was expecting worse, but that wasn't as bad as most reich-wing douchenozzles.

//I thought there was a country that provided a breakdown of how their taxes were spent every year on their returns like Sweden or something, but I cannot find the information
//plus that would probably be socialism
///I actually enjoyed Last Man Standing, all the political jokes went both ways and were extremely low-hanging fruit if it made him feel like he was sticking it to the man, well he's stupid
 
2021-03-01 5:52:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


23? another example of my theory that everyone looked older in the olden days
 
2021-03-01 5:53:20 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 6:10:46 PM  
Nobody actually likes paying taxes.  Everybody has things they would just assume their tax money didn't go toward.  It is the price of admission for civilization and in the USA, probably should be charging a bit more on the whole.  Particularly to those in his tier and above in the tax base.
 
2021-03-01 6:15:21 PM  

t3knomanser: Just say, for example, that at the end of the day, everybody has to turn in 10% of their tickets.


Very interesting and thought provoking way of explaining it.  Bravo.  However it falls apart with the quoted sentence.
 
2021-03-01 6:16:26 PM  
Why does anyone care about the political views of someone who can't vote?
 
2021-03-01 6:19:54 PM  

Pocket Ninja: In 1978, he was arrested at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, thinking the sentence wouldn't be too harsh - then was sent to federal prison, at age 23, for two years and four months.

If he thought that was a harsh sentence, he should have tried it about a decade later as a black man with "over a pound" of crack.


From Wikipedia: "He subsequently pleaded guilty to felony drug trafficking charges and provided the names of other dealers in exchange for a sentence of three to seven years rather than a possible life imprisonment."
 
2021-03-01 6:26:21 PM  
memesmonkey.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 6:35:58 PM  

SurfaceTension: I bet anything he's one of those who thinks the "salt of the earth middle-Americans" pay most of the taxes


The poor don't pay much in tax because they don't earn enough, and that's how it should be. The rich don't pay much in tax because they can afford to have experts structure their finances to minimize tax. That isn't how it should be.

The middle class pays the lion's share of taxes and probably don't truly get the full benefit of what they pay in. Obviously that doesn't apply to Tim Allen, but "salt of the earth middle-americans" pay the most into the system that actively tries to fark them at every opportunity and have every right to be a little salty about it.
 
2021-03-01 6:37:54 PM  

vrax: whyRpeoplesostupid: Tim Allen has been a small-screen staple across several decades thanks to his hit shows "Home Improvement" and "Last Man Standing." His acting and voice work - specifically for the "Toy Story" films - have made Allen a very rich man; his net worth is $100 million, according to Celebrity Net Worth.


It certainly has hampered his ability to amass a fortune

Yeah, how much of an asshole do you have to be to amass $100,000,000 and then complain about taxes?  At that point you just live very, very comfortably off the earnings the money itself it bringing in.  What is there to complain about, that you're not a billionaire?  smdh


Oh that's exactly it. He has $100 million and wants $1 billion. Instead of looking at the America he lives in, celebrating his success and thanking his lucky stars all he wants to do is complain about the system.

Tell you what Tim- FARK YOU. I truly hope something happens to your career and/or your finances that causes you to lose every farking dime you have. Maybe another Madoff has your money and it's really gone. That would be great.

Now GFYS you ungrateful POS.
 
2021-03-01 6:40:10 PM  
I just don't like - once I started making money - I had this silent partner that took almost half of my money and never gave me anything for it.

Anyone who makes this argument is a moron, particularly American "conservatives". Tim Allen was deep into his Home Improvement heyday before he broke even on the "tax" money spent on the police, courts, and prison accommodations necessitated by his coke habit, so his little brush with the law alone is enough to demonstrate how wrong he is. I'm fairly sure he attended school at some point in his life (although the evidence of that is spotty). I'll also wager that he puts out garbage, enjoys use of public roads, and all that other infrastructure that makes modern life possible. Oh, and let's not forget the love conservative Americans have for the military. If I recall correctly the U.S. has the 3rd or 4th largest army in the world (largest by a huge margin in per capita terms), do conservatives think that stuff is free?

I miss the old days of conservatives like Buckley and Will. They may have been elitist assholes but at least they weren't stupid.
 
2021-03-01 6:45:53 PM  

Pocket Ninja: In 1978, he was arrested at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, thinking the sentence wouldn't be too harsh - then was sent to federal prison, at age 23, for two years and four months.

If he thought that was a harsh sentence, he should have tried it about a decade later as a black man with "over a pound" of crack.


this, so much this. if he had been a POC, no matter how many people he snitched on (and hoo-boy, allen snitched on a bunch of people), he still would have pulled at least a tenner, not the 2 and some he actually got.
 
2021-03-01 6:48:32 PM  

jmr61: Oh that's exactly it. He has $100 million and wants $1 billion. Instead of looking at the America he lives in, celebrating his success and thanking his lucky stars all he wants to do is complain about the system.

Tell you what Tim- FARK YOU. I truly hope something happens to your career and/or your finances that causes you to lose every farking dime you have. Maybe another Madoff has your money and it's really gone. That would be great.

Now GFYS you ungrateful POS.


There are people much poorer than you (I would assume, I don't know you). If you feel that you can legitimately hate Tim Allen for not being grateful enough, then you also legitimize anyone poorer than you who hates you for the same reason.
 
2021-03-01 6:53:01 PM  

Magnanimous_J: jmr61: Oh that's exactly it. He has $100 million and wants $1 billion. Instead of looking at the America he lives in, celebrating his success and thanking his lucky stars all he wants to do is complain about the system.

Tell you what Tim- FARK YOU. I truly hope something happens to your career and/or your finances that causes you to lose every farking dime you have. Maybe another Madoff has your money and it's really gone. That would be great.

Now GFYS you ungrateful POS.

There are people much poorer than you (I would assume, I don't know you). If you feel that you can legitimately hate Tim Allen for not being grateful enough, then you also legitimize anyone poorer than you who hates you for the same reason.


You'd have to assume the poster is vocally ungrateful about his good fortune to make that comparison.
 
2021-03-01 6:57:43 PM  
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2021-03-01 7:11:42 PM  
I don't like taxes either.

Congrats on staying sober.
 
2021-03-01 7:13:47 PM  
American Decency Association:

I got banned from the time allen subreddit for posting this on Sept 3nd, congratulating Tim for cleaning up since the picture was taken.
 
2021-03-01 7:14:29 PM  
Billy Liar:

Trump hates snitches
 
2021-03-01 7:16:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Of course one of the biggest things taxes pay for is free healthcare for everyone. You just get treated and that's it. Oh, wait, he's American. Oh, my bad.
Maybe if you're so unhappy about not getting "anything" back you should be demanding they introduce universal healthcare? That way you, and everyone else, would be getting something huge back?
 
2021-03-01 7:22:50 PM  
"I just don't like - once I started making money - I had this silent partner that took almost half of my money and never gave me anything for it. That was the taxes," he said. "I've never liked taxes. Whoever takes the taxes and never tells me what they did with it, I'm a fiscal conservative person with money. That's it."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 7:27:30 PM  
And another classic:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 7:31:46 PM  
Did anyone mention if he was black, he would still be in prison?
 
2021-03-01 7:39:47 PM  

American Decency Association: [Fark user image 850x1118]

23? another example of my theory that everyone looked older in the olden days


That mugshot is extremely 1978.
 
2021-03-01 7:52:33 PM  

Malenfant: American Decency Association: [Fark user image 850x1118]

23? another example of my theory that everyone looked older in the olden days

That mugshot is extremely 1978.


That mustache is extremely cocaine.
 
2021-03-01 8:22:29 PM  

American Decency Association: [Fark user image image 850x1118]

23? another example of my theory that everyone looked older in the olden days


So it turns out that most PD let their hair and makeup person go home early, and if you're booked at night you get Lou, who is a big fan of halogen light boxes, magnesium flash bulbs and what he calls "realistic skin tones".
 
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