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(The New York Times)   "Pandas make flimsy umbrellas." I don't know, they seem pretty substantial to me. But how on Earth do you go about mounting them on a pole?   ( divider line
    More: Strange, Giant Panda, Endangered species, Bear, Conservation biology, Conservation reliant species, Biodiversity, Asiatic black bear, prime example of an umbrella species  
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1791 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2021 at 6:05 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2021-03-01 2:23:48 PM  
i5.walmartimages.comView Full Size
2021-03-01 6:08:18 PM  
There's only one way to mount a panda on a pole, and, take it from me, they don't like it.
2021-03-01 6:12:43 PM  

Hassan Ben Sobr: There's only one way to mount a panda on a pole, and, take it from me, they don't like it.

I don't know, some seem to enjoy it and the tips they get:

worth1000.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size
2021-03-01 6:15:31 PM  
ctl.s6img.comView Full Size
2021-03-01 6:18:57 PM  
They don't have opposable thumbs, so I think expecting them to make anything better than "flimsy" seems foolhardy.
2021-03-01 6:19:30 PM  
Dr. Wang
2021-03-01 6:19:41 PM  
Start by spatchcocking the panda.
2021-03-01 6:29:50 PM  
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An Umbrella species indeed

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2021-03-01 6:30:21 PM  
Pandas are cool.

Umbrella isn't my favorite word.
2021-03-01 6:33:11 PM  
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2021-03-01 6:52:56 PM  
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2021-03-01 7:05:34 PM  
media.istockphoto.comView Full Size
2021-03-01 7:05:50 PM  
Simply research the genetic traits of the Dropbear, optimize for mass and disposition, and use CRISPR to augment the genetic sequence of a Panda's ovum and fertilize.

Next, implant the Panda's ovum into your Partially Human Chimera Brood-mother who's been designed with twelve uteri and no legs or vocal cords to maximize yearly output, and turn on the impregnation simulator to ramp up hormone production.

Easy peasy.
2021-03-01 7:18:40 PM  
2021-03-01 7:29:59 PM  
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2021-03-01 7:31:03 PM  
I found a green Panda on Google
previews.123rf.comView Full Size
2021-03-01 7:35:48 PM  
Mary Poppins is not amused.
2021-03-01 7:41:27 PM  
Ella, Ella, eh, eh, eh
2021-03-01 7:42:05 PM  
Lube + Pole + Panda = Panda Umbrella
2021-03-01 7:42:40 PM  
Furry thread?

/won't be back to find out.
//I'll be back
2021-03-01 8:03:57 PM  
i could see how Panda's could have pole swinging skills as it's a specie that lives in bamboo forests (natural poles)
2021-03-01 8:13:45 PM  
As someone who was an "ecologist" many years ago, I view the idea of an "umbrella species" with skepticism. It's never all about one species.
2021-03-01 9:07:17 PM  
If you mounted it that way, wouldn't it instead be a polar bear?
2021-03-01 9:17:55 PM  
This thread needs appropriate discussion of the topic from Deerhoof.

Deerhoof - Panda Panda Panda (from Apple O')
Youtube ZoThbtPgDzQ
2021-03-01 10:56:15 PM  

mateomaui: Start them early

[Fark user image image 425x636]

Leads to​Kkc

Dammit, you had just one job.
2021-03-01 11:01:25 PM  
Impaled Pandas is the name of my ______________________________________​______________________________________​_____________________ cover band.
2021-03-01 11:47:35 PM  
First of all, get the Pole very drunk...and then tell him it's his harry cousin from Russia.
2021-03-02 12:34:29 AM  
nah it just means they don't do well working in sweatshops that make umbrellas.
2021-03-02 6:42:17 AM  

FritzCat: Dr. Wang

That's my porn name.
2021-03-02 9:36:33 AM  
you skin them first, obviously.
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