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(Slate)   "My mother made a deathbed confession she had never revealed to anyone else: She and my father hadn't had sex in over 50 years after a surgery left my dad impotent. I'm still processing this and wonder if I should tell my brother"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Sibling, Family, English-language films, Marriage, Parent, Sexual intercourse, family secrets, Slate's sex advice column  
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387 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 01 Mar 2021 at 5:05 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-28 11:12:42 PM  
and risk destroying the rich imaginary fantasy sex-world you and your brother had built around your parents?
 
2021-02-28 11:15:37 PM  
Not if your brother is older than fifty.
 
2021-02-28 11:22:55 PM  
Does it really matter? Really?
 
2021-02-28 11:24:02 PM  
I know a couple who hasn't had sex in 7 years and they seem to be perfectly fine with it. He's 73 and she is 55.
 
2021-02-28 11:25:28 PM  
Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.
 
2021-02-28 11:39:37 PM  
So her brother is a bastard?
 
2021-03-01 1:30:11 AM  
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. Because his dick didn't work didn't mean they couldn't still fark around.
 
2021-03-01 3:21:23 AM  
it's time for 23andme!

/mine was disappointingly boring.
 
2021-03-01 5:24:17 AM  
At least the article gives a little context about WHY she told him, which is what I was wondering.
 
2021-03-01 5:30:10 AM  
Unless that was Eugene Levy in drag on the deathbed, being awkwardly open about sexuality to his son, I don't believe it.
 
2021-03-01 6:06:23 AM  
Didn't have tab a into slot b sex, or nothing at all?  I can't imagine leaving my wife hanging with nothing at all for 50 years.
 
2021-03-01 6:47:33 AM  
Here's a fun fact.  It is still possible to ejaculate even if the erection doesn't work.
 
2021-03-01 6:49:36 AM  
Depends on a) how old your brother is and b) how much you care about your brother.
 
2021-03-01 6:54:36 AM  
You don't have brothet
 
2021-03-01 7:00:20 AM  
Whhyyyyy? Most of us are only kinda sorta aware that our parents must have had sex at some point. We don't like it, but we accept that fact.

Letter writer says they want to tell the brother this tasty tidbit because it shows how much their parents loved each other without sex. Would he take comfort in that? Is the brother having marital issues where such an anecdote would help him put things in perspective? Otherwise, keep the ramblings of an elderly woman to yourself like she did for 50 years.
 
2021-03-01 7:13:56 AM  
"Sweetie, I just wanted you to know that your daddy's pecker hasn't been able to stand to attention in 50 years. All those times you heard the bed springs squeaking he was passed out on Ambien and I had a big cucumber. I wanted to tell you this now so I could go laughing into the void, knowing you'll be thinking about my cooch at the funeral."
 
2021-03-01 7:28:26 AM  
This is what people confess on their deathbed?
 
2021-03-01 7:39:15 AM  

solokumba: I know a couple who hasn't had sex in 7 years and they seem to be perfectly fine with it. He's 73 and she is 55.


Find an attractive 40-50 year old woman, have her discretely come on to him and see how long that "perfectly fine with it" lasts.
 
2021-03-01 7:49:23 AM  

LaChanz: This is what people confess on their deathbed?


It wasn't really a deathbed confession as "she told it when it was relevant and she is dead now" confession.
 
2021-03-01 7:50:43 AM  

DerAppie: LaChanz: This is what people confess on their deathbed?

It wasn't really a deathbed confession as "she told it when it was relevant and she is dead now" confession.


A misleading and dishonest headline of Fark? Oh my!
 
2021-03-01 7:54:58 AM  
Depending on the ages and sexy times, don't think of it as losing a brother but more as gaining a son.
 
2021-03-01 8:26:00 AM  

tdyak: solokumba: I know a couple who hasn't had sex in 7 years and they seem to be perfectly fine with it. He's 73 and she is 55.

Find an attractive 40-50 year old woman, have her discretely come on to him and see how long that "perfectly fine with it" lasts.


Quite possibly until he's dead if you care to push it that long.  Some people have medical reasons why it's no longer even an option
 
2021-03-01 8:42:18 AM  

Enigmamf: At least the article gives a little context about WHY she told him, which is what I was wondering.


Yep.

LW role this time is a woman, who would now be in her late 50s. Reading between the lines, she's concerned the Brother's marriage is as loveless as hers and Mom's were.

Is it really time for Butt Stuff?
 
2021-03-01 9:27:24 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.


See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.
 
2021-03-01 9:32:52 AM  

eKonk: thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.

See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 9:33:13 AM  
A couple has been happily married for ten years and have 4 kids. But for their entire relationship they have never had sex with the lights on because the husband refuses to ever have sex with the lights on. But one night, his wife decides to flick the lights on in the middle of sex. When she does she looks down and sees her husband using a dildo instead of his penis.

She becomes furious and yells at him, "Have you been doing this our entire relationship? You have some explaining to do!"

He looks at her, stunned, and says, "I'll explain this when you explain the kids."
 
2021-03-01 10:24:36 AM  

eKonk: thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.

See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.


Well, since you're the expert, to what would you compare her spinning in order to make said spinning sexy?
 
2021-03-01 10:28:59 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: eKonk: thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.

See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.

Well, since you're the expert, to what would you compare her spinning in order to make said spinning sexy?


I'm glad you asked. There is only one correct answer:

t2.genius.comView Full Size
 
2021-03-01 11:18:20 AM  

thatguyoverthere70: eKonk: thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.

See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.

Well, since you're the expert, to what would you compare her spinning in order to make said spinning sexy?


Why not compare it to the the propellor on a B52 bomber? eKonk confirned B52 bombers with propellors existed.

/Albeit in prototype form
 
2021-03-01 1:14:19 PM  

DerAppie: thatguyoverthere70: eKonk: thatguyoverthere70: Noooooooooo. Your brother has invested his whole life in the belief that your father was a rail splitter of the highest order, that he was like Charles Bronson in The Great Escape - he was digging tunnels. Plowing your mom day and night, spinning her on his wang like she was a propeller on a B 52 bomber. You want your father to be remembered as some floppy-dicked dust-balled dweebo? No way, dude or dudette. Let the legend of your father's sexual dynamism live on in history. Please.

See, that's just all sorts of confusing. The B-52 only used propellers in the early prototype stages - all commissioned B-52s have used jet engines. Now, naturally the fan/compressors spun at a high rate (peak thrust was generated at about 8200 rpm on the earliest P&W J57s that were used on the commissioned B-52), but it is somewhat impractical to attain that sort of rotational speed during coitus. Even if we allow for some degree of hyperbole, the image is cartoonish rather than provocative, which is likely to cause equally distressing concerns in the mind of said brother.

Well, since you're the expert, to what would you compare her spinning in order to make said spinning sexy?

Why not compare it to the the propellor on a B52 bomber? eKonk confirned B52 bombers with propellors existed.

/Albeit in prototype form


Shall I compare our lovemaking to a plane propeller?
It is more raucous and more swift.
 
2021-03-01 6:41:20 PM  
Is the brother in question less than 50 years old?
 
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