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(C|Net)   Ancient morticians' manual discovered; could be useful if you are planning on having some facework done   (cnet.com) divider line
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2048 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2021 at 12:38 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



17 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-28 12:43:10 PM  
thefamouspeople.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-28 12:44:01 PM  
Kimberly Guilfoyle seen feverishly taking notes.
 
2021-02-28 1:16:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-28 1:19:57 PM  
I got to visit Egypt as a youngster, and that had a very profound effect on me, seeing all those sandworms up close.

The Mormon church has another unique holy book, the Pearl of Great Price, translated from papyrus fragments found in a mummy, and brought to Joseph Smith. By golly, they just happened to have been written by Moses and Abraham personally.

A few years later the Rosetta Stone got decoded. Then in the 1960s, the original papyrus fragments were found in the Mormon archives, photographed, and translated by some real Egyptologists: they were merely standard funerary text, just for some random person, and not even the deluxe version of burial texts.

So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.
 
2021-02-28 1:37:25 PM  

Spice Must Flow: I got to visit Egypt as a youngster, and that had a very profound effect on me, seeing all those sandworms up close.

The Mormon church has another unique holy book, the Pearl of Great Price, translated from papyrus fragments found in a mummy, and brought to Joseph Smith. By golly, they just happened to have been written by Moses and Abraham personally.

A few years later the Rosetta Stone got decoded. Then in the 1960s, the original papyrus fragments were found in the Mormon archives, photographed, and translated by some real Egyptologists: they were merely standard funerary text, just for some random person, and not even the deluxe version of burial texts.

So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.


Whew!  I was afraid of that religion is just a bunch of made-up horseshiat.
 
2021-02-28 1:37:44 PM  

Spice Must Flow: So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.


Core tenets of their religion being provably false hasn't stopped any of its adherents from believing in it anyway.
 
2021-02-28 1:41:16 PM  
Can you imagine the smell?
 
2021-02-28 1:41:53 PM  
Ancient Egyptian leopards liked jerky? Who knew?
 
2021-02-28 1:42:09 PM  
Dick Clark asks about Ska music on Police Squad!
Youtube uFZTKFzRhes
 
2021-02-28 2:10:01 PM  

trialpha: Spice Must Flow: So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.

Core tenets of their religion being provably false hasn't stopped any of its adherents from believing in it anyway.


Consider that Jesus was pretty specific about when the second coming would be: no later than 150AD (within the lifetimes of some in the audience).  But very little Christian doctrine appears to deal with the fact that if Jesus isn't a liar (and by the laws of Moses you have to ignore false prophets) then we've been living in the "left behind" world for nearly two thousand years.

This type of thing is really only a big problem for Protestant religions.  The pope can infallibly tell a Catholic what it "truth", while the Mormons and Eastern Orthodox have patriarchs capable of handing down "truth".  The whole Sunni/shiite spit was over who gets to have this role after Muhammad, but contradicting the Koran is a bit tricky as Muhammad claimed he got it right and there won't be any more true prophets.  But in Protestantism, the only messages from God come from the Bible (modulo a few personal things like being called to the ministry).

Engineering was more of a craftsman's trade in the Renaissance, so if anyone explained "single point of failure" to Martin Luther, I doubt he would understand or care.  Also considering his contempt of science (he called Copernicus an "upstart astrologer"), I can't see him caring if he lived in the modern world.  To make matters worse, contradictions in the Bible have been well known since ~1100 and the publication of Sic et Non.  If you want to prove a religion completely bunk, Protestantism is your best bet.  The others keep their goalposts on wheels (one of the many ways memes survive).
 
2021-02-28 2:29:15 PM  

Spice Must Flow: I got to visit Egypt as a youngster, and that had a very profound effect on me, seeing all those sandworms up close.

The Mormon church has another unique holy book, the Pearl of Great Price, translated from papyrus fragments found in a mummy, and brought to Joseph Smith. By golly, they just happened to have been written by Moses and Abraham personally.

A few years later the Rosetta Stone got decoded. Then in the 1960s, the original papyrus fragments were found in the Mormon archives, photographed, and translated by some real Egyptologists: they were merely standard funerary text, just for some random person, and not even the deluxe version of burial texts.

So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.


Can we agree that the 2 overarching principles of religions in general are:

1) they're making it up as they go along
And
2) anything that requires material input (money) and promises a non tangible return (faith) is a racket.

I vote yes.
 
2021-02-28 3:02:25 PM  

Spice Must Flow: So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a GRAVE error.


Drum roll.
Everyone laughs.
Curtains.
 
2021-02-28 3:04:20 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-28 3:11:12 PM  
And she's thinking....

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-28 4:02:23 PM  

p51d007: And she's thinking....

[Fark user image 274x364]


Thinking HELL! She's a demonstration.
 
2021-02-28 5:54:54 PM  
So they found notes from the 1st surgery of Joan Rivers?
 
2021-02-28 6:27:50 PM  

Spice Must Flow: I got to visit Egypt as a youngster, and that had a very profound effect on me, seeing all those sandworms up close.

The Mormon church has another unique holy book, the Pearl of Great Price, translated from papyrus fragments found in a mummy, and brought to Joseph Smith. By golly, they just happened to have been written by Moses and Abraham personally.

A few years later the Rosetta Stone got decoded. Then in the 1960s, the original papyrus fragments were found in the Mormon archives, photographed, and translated by some real Egyptologists: they were merely standard funerary text, just for some random person, and not even the deluxe version of burial texts.

So the official Mormon story in the 1960s became that the PoGP wasn't "translated" from the ancient text in the literal sense, but the fragments were used to channel "divine inspiration". However, while that is the "official story", in actual practice, kids like me in the 70s were told in Sunday School that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Egyptian texts the very same wayhe translated the Book of Mormon, so the very existence of the PoGP "proves" that Joseph Smith was able to translate the Golden Plates, right kids?

So, the fact that papyrus was just a funerary text proves his "translation" was a grave error.


Wow, bravo!
 
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