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(Patheos)   Pastor: When God promised a Trump electoral victory, he didn't mean consecutively   (friendlyatheist.patheos.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, President of the United States, White House, Bill Clinton, right-wing pastor, Donald Trump, United States, United States Congress, prophet of God  
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1729 clicks; posted to Politics » on 27 Feb 2021 at 8:30 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



106 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-02-27 3:14:49 AM  
Laugh and point.. laugh and point..
 
2021-02-27 3:20:39 AM  
Christians (before the election): My god told me Trump will beat Biden

Me (after the election): I thought your god promised Trump will beat Biden

Christians: God meant during the next Election, not this one
 
2021-02-27 4:03:26 AM  
Moses turned to G‑d in prayer, and G‑d instructed him to raise his staff. A strong east wind blew, and the goalposts parted, allowing the Trumpites to drive their Hoverrounds through them to the Golden Corral
 
2021-02-27 4:16:40 AM  
Better yet, have Trump lose the next two elections, and he - oops, I mean, and He can be President for 20 years!

/scary insane, this is
 
2021-02-27 5:24:11 AM  
Since the insurrection, Trump's numbers have dropped to a point, that it's not possible for him to be POTUS again, (thank goodness).
 
2021-02-27 6:27:01 AM  

felching pen: Better yet, have Trump lose the next two elections, and he - oops, I mean, and He can be President for 20 years!

/scary insane, this is


I'm really amazed he didn't order the Supreme Court to overrule and overturn the election. I really really am. I thought that was the whole point behind his insane rush to nominate ACB, to ensure a majority vote
 
2021-02-27 6:46:34 AM  
Hey Pastor, that voice in your head that ain't God..
 
2021-02-27 6:51:41 AM  
I don't remember who said it, and I know I'm paraphrasing but the gist is: I'm dubious of those who claim to know what god hates, because most of the time, it's also what they hate
 
2021-02-27 6:55:09 AM  
Hey pastor...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-27 7:08:48 AM  
So, will trump be on his 4th or 5th wife by then???
 
2021-02-27 7:16:00 AM  

Circusdog320: So, will trump be on his 4th or 5th wife by then???


I suspect any woman crazy enough to marry him now, is also crazy enough to murder him if he tries to leave her.

I'm looking at those new QAnon congresswomen..
 
2021-02-27 7:17:44 AM  
Has anybody removed his tax exempt status yet?
 
2021-02-27 7:18:40 AM  
Regular Christians talk about the second coming of Christ.

American Christians talk about the second coming of Trump.
 
2021-02-27 7:22:52 AM  

SomeAmerican: Regular Christians talk about the second coming of Christ.

American Christians talk about the second coming of Trump.


To American Christians, the 2cd coming of God/Trump is the same thing
 
2021-02-27 7:48:10 AM  
Business has never been better for us here at Amalgamated Goalpost Transport, Inc.
 
2021-02-27 8:07:33 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Business has never been better for us here at Amalgamated Goalpost Transport, Inc.


I read that in the voice for Little Giant Vacuum Cleaner Company from Walla Walla, Washington.
 
2021-02-27 8:12:50 AM  
I mean, this type of thing is super common when discussing "prophecy" in the first place, even before you get into Trumpy prophecies. A good number of the Old Testament prophets proclaimed either good things for Israel or bad thing for their enemies that never happened. It's a very easy escape hatch to say, "A-ha! God didn't put a time limit on when that would happen, so you can't say the prophecy has failed yet."
 
2021-02-27 8:14:06 AM  
 
2021-02-27 8:20:45 AM  
Ah, yes... the Clear, Indisputable, Authoritative, and Infallible Word of God that doesn't mean the obvious meaning of the words.

That God!  What a joker.
 
2021-02-27 8:33:09 AM  
Just make sure he loses again.
 
2021-02-27 8:35:02 AM  
You can ALWAYS move the goalposts!
 
2021-02-27 8:35:03 AM  
Ain't no pastor without sheep.
 
2021-02-27 8:35:58 AM  

BitwiseShift: Ain't no pastor without sheep.


That's why the poem is called the "Good Shepherd."
 
2021-02-27 8:37:46 AM  
Because even though he's not in the White House, he's in their head in the White House, night and day.

Using this "logic", Hillary Clinton was president for the last four years.
 
2021-02-27 8:39:07 AM  
What a great gig. You come out, tell people what they want to hear, have them cheer your name and then pass the hat.

When your promises fail, everything is just "there's a mysterious plan beyond all comprehension" or "It will just give it more time, faith, and of course we need more of your money."

Imagine, no deaking with products, no inventory management, just bullshiat words of reaffirmation and put on a show once a week for 2 hours.

I bet if you asked these folks if they believe psychics from hotlines are real they'd laugh at you, but drop $50 in a hat every Sunday for the same service.
 
2021-02-27 8:40:23 AM  
I'm starting to think that maybe God does not actually talk to those pastors, and they don't have any idea what God's will is.
 
2021-02-27 8:42:03 AM  
Religious beliefs are correlated to a longer life. All those mental gymnastics must be good for a person.
 
2021-02-27 8:43:21 AM  
"Instead of just admitting God - or at least a so-called prophet - got this wrong, ...."

Or did He?

Maybe listen closely when you pray to Him and it doesn't work out? If you're going to claim that is your source of inspiration?.
 
2021-02-27 8:44:23 AM  
I like God because he tells it like it is.
 
2021-02-27 8:46:28 AM  
If you constantly move the goalposts, you just might be a Christian.
 
2021-02-27 8:47:29 AM  

TuckFrump: I don't remember who said it, and I know I'm paraphrasing but the gist is: I'm dubious of those who claim to know what god hates, because most of the time, it's also what they hate


Well, there's a certain amount of internal sense there, aligning your prejudices with God's.

Now, should you run across a person who tells you God hates something they don't, quietly walk away but don't turn your back. Find a good sized rock, or a knife or something.
 
2021-02-27 8:48:46 AM  

TuckFrump: felching pen: Better yet, have Trump lose the next two elections, and he - oops, I mean, and He can be President for 20 years!

/scary insane, this is

I'm really amazed he didn't order the Supreme Court to overrule and overturn the election. I really really am. I thought that was the whole point behind his insane rush to nominate ACB, to ensure a majority vote


It was, no doubt.  But even the RW Supremes weren't going to go along with changing the EC votes of four states.  They would do one, maybe two states, but not even they could not swing four.  Thomas would have, if given the opportunity, but not the others.  Trump failed to hold up his part of the arrangement, get close enough to steal.
 
2021-02-27 8:52:07 AM  
He should serve consecutively, not concurrently in the future. That's my belief/hope/dream.
/3 for luck
 
2021-02-27 8:52:13 AM  
gee, thanks god!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-27 8:53:30 AM  

transporter_ii: Religious beliefs are correlated to a longer life. All those mental gymnastics must be good for a person.


Until they control for "being part of a community group" like being in a tennis club or a book group. Then those religious health benefits become null.

It's almost like religion has no unique benefits at all.
 
2021-02-27 8:54:18 AM  
God really seems to be a farking moron.
 
2021-02-27 8:57:31 AM  
In the near future: God never meant in this lifetime.
 
2021-02-27 9:00:27 AM  

TuckFrump: Christians (before the election): My god told me Trump will beat Biden

Me (after the election): I thought your god promised Trump will beat Biden

Christians: God meant during the next Election, not this one


'24: God meant the next election a Trump runs in. Don Jr and Eric both have political aspirations.
'32: God clearly was referring to Ivanka
'40: God clearly was referring to Barron
'52: God clearly was referring to John Jackson, who is very Trump like

Religion is such a "wonderful" thing.
 
2021-02-27 9:01:35 AM  
God answers every prayer, TrumperHumpers. Sometimes the answer is "no".
 
2021-02-27 9:02:10 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
"Excuse me....why does God need a moron like Trump?"
 
2021-02-27 9:03:13 AM  

TuckFrump: I don't remember who said it, and I know I'm paraphrasing but the gist is: I'm dubious of those who claim to know what god hates, because most of the time, it's also what they hate


I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires.
Susan B. Anthony
 
2021-02-27 9:06:51 AM  

Alphax: Laugh and point.. laugh and point..


I said, "ha ha".
 
2021-02-27 9:07:23 AM  
He needs to be defrocked.
 
2021-02-27 9:08:41 AM  

transporter_ii: Religious beliefs are correlated to a longer life. All those mental gymnastics must be good for a person.


Because those people aren't drinking smoking and carrying on with fun women.
 
2021-02-27 9:09:24 AM  

Circusdog320: So, will trump be on his 4th or 5th wife by then???


Don't you disparaging Hope Trump like that or I will go all MAGA on you. The Trump's are the pinaccle of family values in the modern era.
 
2021-02-27 9:11:58 AM  

TuckFrump: felching pen: Better yet, have Trump lose the next two elections, and he - oops, I mean, and He can be President for 20 years!

/scary insane, this is

I'm really amazed he didn't order the Supreme Court to overrule and overturn the election. I really really am. I thought that was the whole point behind his insane rush to nominate ACB, to ensure a majority vote


How do you know he didn't?
 
2021-02-27 9:15:09 AM  
"Just a li'l bit further."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-27 9:15:24 AM  

gilgigamesh: TuckFrump: felching pen: Better yet, have Trump lose the next two elections, and he - oops, I mean, and He can be President for 20 years!

/scary insane, this is

I'm really amazed he didn't order the Supreme Court to overrule and overturn the election. I really really am. I thought that was the whole point behind his insane rush to nominate ACB, to ensure a majority vote

How do you know he didn't?


That was exactly my thought.  Those f*ckers were standing by to affirm his coup. Ginny Thomas brought the rioters in to DC.
 
2021-02-27 9:17:30 AM  
If God determines who the President is, why to they vote at all? And did God vote Obama in?
 
2021-02-27 9:17:44 AM  
Then it will be, "He served a second term in our hearts.  Yeah, that's what he meant.  Keep Trump in our hearts.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hat with a stone in it that I need to stick my face into."
 
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