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(Axios)   "Oh, and Ted Cruz, go f*ck yourself"   (axios.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, United States, United States House of Representatives, Republican Party, John Boehner, Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, top administration officials Thursday, Border Protection staffer  
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5829 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Feb 2021 at 2:50 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



39 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-25 10:21:58 PM  
There's very little bipartisan principles in Washington, DC, during this dark epoch, but at least both Parties hate Ted Cruz. There is hope for normalcy yet.
 
2021-02-26 2:21:10 AM  
"Strong letter to follow."
 
2021-02-26 2:57:46 AM  
A tell all memoir! Sounds like another republican, now that there's nothing to lose, is going to speak some good ol' truth to power.

God bless you for telling truths sir. And not a moment too soon. 🙄

Oh and f*ck Ted Cruz.
 
2021-02-26 3:00:16 AM  
One asshole racist fascist jumping on another asshole racist fascist when he smells weakness.

Same as it ever was.
 
2021-02-26 3:00:29 AM  
The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day)

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-26 3:00:51 AM  
I wonder if Boehner had other ad-libs in his audiobook sessions, or if they were only Cruz burns.
The contempt Cruz generates, even among his fellow republicans, is impressive.

/I'm John Boehner, and I approve these burns
 
2021-02-26 3:07:44 AM  
camo.githubusercontent.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-26 3:10:32 AM  
This quote almost makes me wish I'd have liked Boehner more than a papaya-sized carbuncle on my nether regions while he was Speaker, but it didn't and I don't.  What a quandary.
 
2021-02-26 3:12:23 AM  
Thou shalt not speak ill of any fellow Republican. (unless it's Ted Cruz)
-- Ronald Reagan

I'm sure that's how it would go if they had met.
 
2021-02-26 3:15:12 AM  
'Buy my new memoir, Retired but still desperate for attention
 
2021-02-26 3:16:44 AM  
I don't think it's topologically possible for something that's 100% asshole to fark itself.
 
2021-02-26 3:19:13 AM  
And I guarantee you that he wouldn't have said that if he still had a life in politics. He is done.

So, typical Republican.
 
2021-02-26 3:25:24 AM  
A $40 audio book, yeah you can just go fark yourself.
 
2021-02-26 3:41:19 AM  

fragMasterFlash: The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day)

[Fark user image 400x300]


Off topic, when License to Ill came out I had this buddy who's family had just moved to Seattle from Tennessee. His dad was a huge country music, big truck, and race car fan. I'm not knocking any of that stuff, I enjoy them myself. Tony and I would walk around singing lines from the album. Pissed his dad off so much he broke the record in pieces and grounded him for listening to shiat music. Didn't see him for two weeks.

Dad came around though and took us to whatever that speedway was called by Tacoma and gave each of us a Miller Genuine Draft. "The best damn beer in the world," according to him. It was a fun day for a couple of dumb fifteen year olds.

</off topic>
 
433 [TotalFark]
2021-02-26 3:55:07 AM  

baxterdog: </off topic>


Cool story, bro.  F'real tho.

My buddy had a copy of Ill Communication before I did.  He'd just graduated to a different room in his parent's house and was fooling around with the old hi-fi system in there.  I can't think of which track it is that begins with the sound of a scratchy, staticky record, I know it's on the first track, Sure Shot.  He went nuts trying to figure out where the static was coming from before realizing it was on the recording.

btw your namesake is terrifying.
 
2021-02-26 4:05:50 AM  
No sleep 'till Brooklyn.
Beastie Boys - Sabotage (Official Music Video)
Youtube z5rRZdiu1UE
 
2021-02-26 4:22:10 AM  
"Cry me a River: The Boner Story"
 
2021-02-26 4:28:05 AM  

433: baxterdog:

btw your namesake is terrifying.


Huh?
 
2021-02-26 4:40:57 AM  
Similar to the cover - where he's pictured in a dark room, drinking red wine with a cigarette burning in an ashtray

wanking-motion.gif
 
2021-02-26 6:11:06 AM  
Bumper sticker I saw at Target yesterday:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-26 6:59:53 AM  

Phaedrus the Vague: I wonder if Boehner had other ad-libs in his audiobook sessions, or if they were only Cruz burns.
The contempt Cruz generates, even among his fellow republicans, is impressive.

/I'm John Boehner, and I approve these burns


It'll be interesting to see if they make it through post-production. I've worked for audiobook producers that tie author narrators directly to the script, and others which let the authors make editorial decisions on the fly. I've not done work for MacMillan, so I'm not gonna speculate on how they'll handle it, but, I hope they left it in (or that the editor kept a clip of it).

And, Boehner, you ain't so innocent either. Rather than deal with the building disaster in your party when you had power you just walked away. Fark you, too.
 
2021-02-26 7:06:31 AM  
He does and usually in public
 
2021-02-26 7:25:40 AM  

joepennerlives: This quote almost makes me wish I'd have liked Boehner more than a papaya-sized carbuncle on my nether regions while he was Speaker, but it didn't and I don't.  What a quandary.


Regardless of anyone's political affiliation, "carbuncle" is an underused word.
 
2021-02-26 7:28:49 AM  
 Boehner sets off my bi-dar.  Like he's the kind of guy that in the country club steam room will swap head with another dude if nobody else is in there.
 
2021-02-26 7:33:55 AM  

DrowningLessons: A tell all memoir! Sounds like another republican, now that there's nothing to lose, is going to speak some good ol' truth to power.

God bless you for telling truths sir. And not a moment too soon. 🙄

Oh and f*ck Ted Cruz.


Yeah. I'll pirate this book but there is no way this shiathead is getting one thin dime from me.
 
2021-02-26 7:35:28 AM  

fragMasterFlash: The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day)

[Fark user image image 400x300]


Jeez, no wonder his skin's tan
 
2021-02-26 7:35:40 AM  

urethra_franklin: Phaedrus the Vague: I wonder if Boehner had other ad-libs in his audiobook sessions, or if they were only Cruz burns.
The contempt Cruz generates, even among his fellow republicans, is impressive.

/I'm John Boehner, and I approve these burns

It'll be interesting to see if they make it through post-production. I've worked for audiobook producers that tie author narrators directly to the script, and others which let the authors make editorial decisions on the fly. I've not done work for MacMillan, so I'm not gonna speculate on how they'll handle it, but, I hope they left it in (or that the editor kept a clip of it).

And, Boehner, you ain't so innocent either. Rather than deal with the building disaster in your party when you had power you just walked away. Fark you, too.


The article states that they are charging a premium for the audiobook because the ad Libs were left in
 
2021-02-26 7:39:49 AM  

baxterdog: fragMasterFlash: The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day)

[Fark user image 400x300]

Off topic, when License to Ill came out I had this buddy who's family had just moved to Seattle from Tennessee. His dad was a huge country music, big truck, and race car fan. I'm not knocking any of that stuff, I enjoy them myself. Tony and I would walk around singing lines from the album. Pissed his dad off so much he broke the record in pieces and grounded him for listening to shiat music. Didn't see him for two weeks.

Dad came around though and took us to whatever that speedway was called by Tacoma and gave each of us a Miller Genuine Draft. "The best damn beer in the world," according to him. It was a fun day for a couple of dumb fifteen year olds.

</off topic>


I was trying to watch The Simpsons on Fox a couple Sundays ago and thought the Daytona 500 was gonna be over soon, but little did I know it was on a six hour rain delay.

I ended up watching Nascar till I was like "damn, that Geico car shur turns real gud,  don it".

It seems like it'd be a blast to go to a race. Those farkers move, and then they also occasionally flip, crash, and light on fire.
 
2021-02-26 7:45:14 AM  

CheatCommando: urethra_franklin: Phaedrus the Vague: I wonder if Boehner had other ad-libs in his audiobook sessions, or if they were only Cruz burns.
The contempt Cruz generates, even among his fellow republicans, is impressive.

/I'm John Boehner, and I approve these burns

It'll be interesting to see if they make it through post-production. I've worked for audiobook producers that tie author narrators directly to the script, and others which let the authors make editorial decisions on the fly. I've not done work for MacMillan, so I'm not gonna speculate on how they'll handle it, but, I hope they left it in (or that the editor kept a clip of it).

And, Boehner, you ain't so innocent either. Rather than deal with the building disaster in your party when you had power you just walked away. Fark you, too.

The article states that they are charging a premium for the audiobook because the ad Libs were left in


Well, there you go. And, $40 isn't a premium, that's like, the MSRP on a lot of audiobooks. No one ever pays that anymore, though given the nature of the market.
 
2021-02-26 8:08:00 AM  
Is the memoir called, "A legacy unmarred by success?"
 
2021-02-26 8:22:17 AM  
The first thing he did when he became Speaker was stand at a podium and say, "The adults are back in charge," so he can go F himself. Dickheads like him say shiz like that and, when they get walloped at the polls, whine about unity and bipartisanship.

F him.

And, obviously, F Ted Fooz.
 
2021-02-26 8:48:02 AM  

baxterdog: fragMasterFlash: The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day)

[Fark user image 400x300]

Off topic, when License to Ill came out I had this buddy who's family had just moved to Seattle from Tennessee. His dad was a huge country music, big truck, and race car fan. I'm not knocking any of that stuff, I enjoy them myself. Tony and I would walk around singing lines from the album. Pissed his dad off so much he broke the record in pieces and grounded him for listening to shiat music. Didn't see him for two weeks.

Dad came around though and took us to whatever that speedway was called by Tacoma and gave each of us a Miller Genuine Draft. "The best damn beer in the world," according to him. It was a fun day for a couple of dumb fifteen year olds.

</off topic>


Spanaway Speedway, probably.
 
2021-02-26 8:52:54 AM  
DrowningLessons:
Oh and f*ck Ted Cruz.

Imagine if every single post in every thread, regardless the topic, ended with this.
 
2021-02-26 10:00:36 AM  

Don the Plastic Shroud: baxterdog:

Spanaway Speedway, probably.


That was it! Thanks.
 
2021-02-26 11:07:50 AM  
Please don't try to make me like john Boener subby
 
2021-02-26 11:14:18 AM  
The Ohioan never hid his penchant for tan skin and red wine, or his love of cigarettes (two packs a day).

Sounds like a divorced woman in the '70s. Probably gets his nails cut square at the salon, too.
 
2021-02-26 11:48:20 AM  
Old leather face wrote a book?
Uh-huh.
"Ted Cruz can go fark himself"?
Well, he's not wrong but he is still an asshole.
 
TBC [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-02-26 1:13:12 PM  
I've got a spare Audible credit or two. I'd be willing to use one up on this if just for that line alone.
 
2021-02-26 3:14:58 PM  
Cry-baby Boehner is one to talk. It wasn't that long ago that he was just another Republican prick on Capitol Hill. He can go fark himself too. With a rusty garden spade. The flat end.
 
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