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(Fark)   Never judge a book by its cover. The title's fair game, though. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Entitled Edition   (fark.com) divider line
    More: CSB, Oscar Mayer, Science fiction, Cascading Style Sheets, Fiction, Fark Fiction Anthology Compound, Short story, Comment, Town crier  
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490 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 24 Feb 2021 at 4:30 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



43 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-24 3:36:53 PM  
Here at the Fark Fiction Anthology Compound (imagine a secret lair on a volcanic island) we have our ducks in a row, all launch systems are go, we're locked and loaded, and Bob's your uncle with another kettle of fish!  Huh, I think my idiom generator blew a fuse with that one.  Anyway, here's the good news:

The sixth annual Fark Fiction Anthology will be open for submissions on March 1st!

We'll be looking the best short fiction submissions in the following categories:

Fantasy
Science Fiction
Humor
Horror
Suspense/mystery/thriller


Take a look at the terms and conditions and start planning your entry today!

And even better, this year I finally recognized how awkward it is to be calling it 'This year's soon-to-be-titled Fark Fiction Anthology' all friggin' year long, so we will be trying to sort the title and theme as soon as we can.  Post your suggestions here!

I'm personally a fan of 'Tales from the Slatted Chair of Woe' but let's hear what ideas everyone else has!
 
2021-02-24 4:37:26 PM  
Title Suggestion: Stories Swapped While Drinking Drew's Booze When He Wasn't Looking
 
2021-02-24 4:40:23 PM  
Paging Chuck Tingle!
 
2021-02-24 4:41:39 PM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 4:46:50 PM  
Tales From the Fark Site
 
2021-02-24 4:50:33 PM  
Can you submit more than one story in separate categories?
 
2021-02-24 5:10:03 PM  

Barry McCockner: Tales From the Fark Site


That sounds like a good title.
 
2021-02-24 5:19:55 PM  
Last week I read Good Behavior, one of the Dortmunder books by Donald E. Westlake. The first Dortmunder book, The Hot Rock, was made into a movie starring Robert Redford. The second, Bank Shot, was made into a movie starring George C. Scott. If you like your crime fiction with a healthy does of humor, you'll like Westlake.

This week I read Barrier Island, by John D. MacDonald. If you like your crime fiction with a healthy dose of sex, you'll like MacDonald. If you like great writing, you'll love MacDonald. Stephen King says so, and he's no slouch.

This year's anthology title? Somehow We Made It. Don't Cry over Spilt Beer. Fark It, Park It, Snark It.
 
2021-02-24 5:23:18 PM  
So, I have learned a lot this week while pushing a pen across paper. It is odd how often that happens to me.

I decided, instead of trying to crowdfund, I would just set up a LLC and look for investors. Since I'm already planning on incorporating to set up a screen printing shop, this is no extra work. I will simply crowdfund another project with a longer time frame.

I mention this, because I found Northwest Registered Agent, which will actually pay your State fees for you, you pay $44 to get started and then monthly, and they provide you with an Employee Identification Number at the start, so you can open a bank account right away.

If I had known this before, I would have done this long ago. But the $200 State fee was daunting, not to mention only knowing how to incorporate, so having some experts helping you, and just $44 a month to get started, that's a sweet offer.

Incorporating as an author has advantages, but I'm no law talking guy. I thought folks might want to know, because I wish someone had told me years ago.
 
2021-02-24 5:25:19 PM  

Joe Peanut: Paging Chuck Tingle!


Clintoned In the Boobies By My Own Weeners
 
2021-02-24 5:25:23 PM  

WastrelWay: Can you submit more than one story in separate categories?


Absolutely.  We request that no one submit more than three entries total, but you are not restricted to any one genre.
 
2021-02-24 5:26:22 PM  

Russell_Secord: Last week I read Good Behavior, one of the Dortmunder books by Donald E. Westlake. The first Dortmunder book, The Hot Rock, was made into a movie starring Robert Redford. The second, Bank Shot, was made into a movie starring George C. Scott. If you like your crime fiction with a healthy does of humor, you'll like Westlake.


Westlake also wrote the Parker novels (as Richard Stark).  A nice intro would be to watch Lee Marvin in "Point Blank" (named "Walker" in the movie).  Bank Shot (the movie)was creative and enjoyable enough, but leans more toward comedy.  Westlake shows up surprisingly often in movie credits.  IIRC, he wrote the screenplay for  "The Grifters" from Jim Thompson's novel.
 
2021-02-24 5:26:32 PM  

Spice Must Flow: But the $200 State fee was daunting, not to mention only knowing how to incorporate


...from a book, with no first hand experience, and nothing to compare it to for accuracy. Which is vital in this sort of thing.
 
2021-02-24 5:41:53 PM  
(I was going to offer up an example of an idea I had that was intriguing but totally impractical, but while describing it here I think I found a way to make it work.   Let's see if I can turn it into a real story by the deadline.)

What's the deadline?
 
2021-02-24 5:50:22 PM  

toraque: Here at the Fark Fiction Anthology Compound (imagine a secret lair on a volcanic island) we have our ducks in a row, all launch systems are go, we're locked and loaded, and Bob's your uncle with another kettle of fish!  Huh, I think my idiom generator blew a fuse with that one.  Anyway, here's the good news:

The sixth annual Fark Fiction Anthology will be open for submissions on March 1st!

We'll be looking the best short fiction submissions in the following categories:

Fantasy
Science Fiction
Humor
Horror
Suspense/mystery/thriller

Take a look at the terms and conditions and start planning your entry today!

And even better, this year I finally recognized how awkward it is to be calling it 'This year's soon-to-be-titled Fark Fiction Anthology' all friggin' year long, so we will be trying to sort the title and theme as soon as we can.  Post your suggestions here!

I'm personally a fan of 'Tales from the Slatted Chair of Woe' but let's hear what ideas everyone else has!



'Tales from the Slatted Chair of Woe' is pretty good. Alternate title: 'Need Help, Soonish!'

Since we're using Fark memes from ages past:

- 'A Compendium of Wife-like Typing Detected'
- 'Sharp Knees, and Other Stories'
- 'The RugbyJock Book of Annoying People (and Moderators)'

I know that last one will never fly, along with 'fb is the father' or 'Duke Sucks', but I felt it needed to be mentioned.
 
2021-02-24 5:52:47 PM  
Spice Must Flow:

. . . I found Northwest Registered Agent, which will actually pay your State fees for you, you pay $44 to get started and then monthly, and they provide you with an Employee Identification Number at the start, so you can open a bank account right away.

If I had known this before, I would have done this long ago. But the $200 State fee was daunting, not to mention only knowing how to incorporate, so having some experts helping you, and just $44 a month to get started, that's a sweet offer.

Incorporating as an author has advantages, but I'm no law talking guy. I thought folks might want to know, because I wish someone had told me years ago.


What state are you in? I set up an LLC in Salt Lake in all of fifteen minutes for a lot less money back in the early 2000s. With all respect, Northwest Registered Agent sounds like a rip-off. How long do they expect you to keep paying $44/month?

Google nolo.com and search for "llc in [YOUR STATE]". I'll bet you can do it yourself a lot easier and cheaper.
And I don't think you need an EIN unless you have partners in the llc or employees. If you do decide to get an EIN you can do it online at the IRS website for free.
 
2021-02-24 5:57:22 PM  
Tales That Would Make Paint Huffer Guy Cringe
Fark In The Time Of Covid II: Electric Boogaloo

I hope to submit something this year, either for the horror tab or the humor tab. I'm about to begin a new writing job that is going to take up a lot of my time, so I might not be able to swing it, but I'll try.
 
2021-02-24 5:59:34 PM  

Last Surviving Flying Gruyere Brother: Spice Must Flow:

. . . I found Northwest Registered Agent, which will actually pay your State fees for you, you pay $44 to get started and then monthly, and they provide you with an Employee Identification Number at the start, so you can open a bank account right away.

If I had known this before, I would have done this long ago. But the $200 State fee was daunting, not to mention only knowing how to incorporate, so having some experts helping you, and just $44 a month to get started, that's a sweet offer.

Incorporating as an author has advantages, but I'm no law talking guy. I thought folks might want to know, because I wish someone had told me years ago.

What state are you in? I set up an LLC in Salt Lake in all of fifteen minutes for a lot less money back in the early 2000s. With all respect, Northwest Registered Agent sounds like a rip-off. How long do they expect you to keep paying $44/month?

Google nolo.com and search for "llc in [YOUR STATE]". I'll bet you can do it yourself a lot easier and cheaper.
And I don't think you need an EIN unless you have partners in the llc or employees. If you do decide to get an EIN you can do it online at the IRS website for free.


Yeah, this.   Also, WHY are you incorporating?  Unless you have investors lined up begging you to be granted shares (extremely unlikely, they'd rather do a loan or else a contractual revenue share), it's not likely to actually bring you any benefits.   Nobody is likely to willingly do business with your corporation unless you also personally guarantee the contract, so all you're doing is doubling your paperwork.  And you'll probably end up spending a lot more than $200 come tax season because you'll have made your return significantly more complicated.
 
2021-02-24 6:00:02 PM  

ms_lara_croft: Tales That Would Make Paint Huffer Guy Cringe
Fark In The Time Of Covid II: Electric Boogaloo

I hope to submit something this year, either for the horror tab or the humor tab. I'm about to begin a new writing job that is going to take up a lot of my time, so I might not be able to swing it, but I'll try.



Scrap my previous comment- I like this one better: Tales That Would Make Paint Huffer Guy Cringe
 
2021-02-24 6:03:25 PM  
nartreb:

What's the deadline?

RIF:

"We'll be accepting submissions from 3/1/2021 until 7/31/2021,"
 
2021-02-24 6:08:06 PM  

nartreb: (I was going to offer up an example of an idea I had that was intriguing but totally impractical, but while describing it here I think I found a way to make it work.   Let's see if I can turn it into a real story by the deadline.)

What's the deadline?


Not part of the Anthology editing and selection team, but last year's deadline was July 31st, and was published just before christmas. It'll probably be something similar this year. Please do submit a couple of stories. I have all the books, and I re-read them regularly. We have some amazing authors here on Fark.

It takes time for the editors and readers to pick out the best of the submissions, check with the authors (a moody, temperamental bunch, prone to sarcasm and worse character traits) for any modifications and/or revisions, edit the bloody things, get final permission from those same authors, then submit the whole kit and caboodle to Amazon for publication. This ought to be a full-time job, but Toraque and company do it as a side gig ... for free.
 
2021-02-24 6:10:07 PM  

Russell_Secord: Last week I read Good Behavior, one of the Dortmunder books by Donald E. Westlake. 

This week I read Barrier Island, by John D. MacDonald.


You are definitely reading the right things.
 
2021-02-24 6:11:24 PM  
Fark Around and Find Out

or

Fark Caught Sayof Fiction
 
2021-02-24 6:12:31 PM  

toraque: WastrelWay: Can you submit more than one story in separate categories?

Absolutely.  We request that no one submit more than three entries total, but you are not restricted to any one genre.


Thanks.
 
2021-02-24 6:12:59 PM  
My wife just suggested the following title:

'The Big Book of Having to be at the Gym in 26 Minutes'
 
2021-02-24 6:17:04 PM  
The Vegan Cyclist's Guide to Chicago-Style Pizza
 
2021-02-24 6:30:30 PM  
Remembrance of Things Fark
 
2021-02-24 6:57:34 PM  
Thanks for putting the eventual title out early. "Fark" is in the subtitle so I think the title should be able to stand alone . . . in our usual ironic/humorous/sarcastic way, of course.

This way I might be able to tweak a story to match the title. I mean, Slatted Chair of Woe is pretty evocative!
 
2021-02-24 7:08:19 PM  

Wenchmaster: ms_lara_croft: Tales That Would Make Paint Huffer Guy Cringe
Fark In The Time Of Covid II: Electric Boogaloo

I hope to submit something this year, either for the horror tab or the humor tab. I'm about to begin a new writing job that is going to take up a lot of my time, so I might not be able to swing it, but I'll try.


Scrap my previous comment- I like this one better: Tales That Would Make Paint Huffer Guy Cringe


Thanks! If they make him cringe, they're truly cringe-worthy. :)
 
2021-02-24 7:20:07 PM  
Fark in the Time of Covid.
 
2021-02-24 8:34:17 PM  
i second Need Help, Soonish!
Short enough for a good title, is an in joke, but is still inherently funny for those who don't know the in joke, and would work with many images. And doesn't insult any group.
 
2021-02-24 8:34:39 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: Fark in the Time of Covid.


We done the passion fruit!
 
2021-02-24 9:55:21 PM  
2020-Won
 
2021-02-24 9:57:15 PM  

Wenchmaster: toraque: Here at the Fark Fiction Anthology Compound (imagine a secret lair on a volcanic island) we have our ducks in a row, all launch systems are go, we're locked and loaded, and Bob's your uncle with another kettle of fish!  Huh, I think my idiom generator blew a fuse with that one.  Anyway, here's the good news:

The sixth annual Fark Fiction Anthology will be open for submissions on March 1st!

We'll be looking the best short fiction submissions in the following categories:

Fantasy
Science Fiction
Humor
Horror
Suspense/mystery/thriller

Take a look at the terms and conditions and start planning your entry today!

And even better, this year I finally recognized how awkward it is to be calling it 'This year's soon-to-be-titled Fark Fiction Anthology' all friggin' year long, so we will be trying to sort the title and theme as soon as we can.  Post your suggestions here!

I'm personally a fan of 'Tales from the Slatted Chair of Woe' but let's hear what ideas everyone else has!


'Tales from the Slatted Chair of Woe' is pretty good. Alternate title: 'Need Help, Soonish!'

Since we're using Fark memes from ages past:

- 'A Compendium of Wife-like Typing Detected'
- 'Sharp Knees, and Other Stories'
- 'The RugbyJock Book of Annoying People (and Moderators)'

I know that last one will never fly, along with 'fb is the father' or 'Duke Sucks', but I felt it needed to be mentioned.


How about "You'll Get Over It."
 
2021-02-24 9:59:03 PM  

nartreb: Last Surviving Flying Gruyere Brother: Spice Must Flow:

. . . I found Northwest Registered Agent, which will actually pay your State fees for you, you pay $44 to get started and then monthly, and they provide you with an Employee Identification Number at the start, so you can open a bank account right away.

If I had known this before, I would have done this long ago. But the $200 State fee was daunting, not to mention only knowing how to incorporate, so having some experts helping you, and just $44 a month to get started, that's a sweet offer.

Incorporating as an author has advantages, but I'm no law talking guy. I thought folks might want to know, because I wish someone had told me years ago.

What state are you in? I set up an LLC in Salt Lake in all of fifteen minutes for a lot less money back in the early 2000s. With all respect, Northwest Registered Agent sounds like a rip-off. How long do they expect you to keep paying $44/month?

Google nolo.com and search for "llc in [YOUR STATE]". I'll bet you can do it yourself a lot easier and cheaper.
And I don't think you need an EIN unless you have partners in the llc or employees. If you do decide to get an EIN you can do it online at the IRS website for free.

Yeah, this.   Also, WHY are you incorporating?  Unless you have investors lined up begging you to be granted shares (extremely unlikely, they'd rather do a loan or else a contractual revenue share), it's not likely to actually bring you any benefits.   Nobody is likely to willingly do business with your corporation unless you also personally guarantee the contract, so all you're doing is doubling your paperwork.  And you'll probably end up spending a lot more than $200 come tax season because you'll have made your return significantly more complicated.


As a tax professional, I agreed with both these comments.
 
2021-02-24 10:01:03 PM  

Spawn_of_Cthulhu: Fark in the Time of Covid.


"Fark in the Time of Covid 2: Electric Boogaloo."
 
2021-02-24 10:16:16 PM  

Billy Liar: Russell_Secord: Last week I read Good Behavior, one of the Dortmunder books by Donald E. Westlake. The first Dortmunder book, The Hot Rock, was made into a movie starring Robert Redford. The second, Bank Shot, was made into a movie starring George C. Scott. If you like your crime fiction with a healthy does of humor, you'll like Westlake.

Westlake also wrote the Parker novels (as Richard Stark).  A nice intro would be to watch Lee Marvin in "Point Blank" (named "Walker" in the movie).  Bank Shot (the movie)was creative and enjoyable enough, but leans more toward comedy.  Westlake shows up surprisingly often in movie credits.  IIRC, he wrote the screenplay for  "The Grifters" from Jim Thompson's novel.


And The Step-Father.

On the old USENET group rec.arts.books, there was a game to cast Westlake's book Dancing Aztecs. It's a comic crime caper encyclopedia. Sort of. It's got several groups all trying to commit the same crime. A better version of the kind of thing from "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World." I haven't read it in years, but enjoyed it. The Hot Rock -- that you mentioned -- has the distinction of being the best of the movie Dortmunders. Amazingly the great loser is played well by Robert Redford. Go figure.

I've got a preposterous number of Westlake books. I inherited half -- at least -- from a Westlake collector. So I have lots of his books her wrote using a pseudonym. Other than Richard Stark!  He was so prolific that his publishers couldn't move his titles fast enough. I'm not a completist, but I must now have 80-90% of his books.
 
2021-02-25 12:23:50 AM  

nartreb: Yeah, this.   Also, WHY are you incorporating?


To start a business.

Why do most people form a corporation?
 
2021-02-25 12:26:29 AM  

You Die!: As a tax professional, I agreed with both these comments.


So, you're suggesting I form a Sole Proprietorship instead?

And just hope I get all that paperwork filled out correctly on my first try? Sounds like a plan!
 
2021-02-25 1:35:25 AM  

Spice Must Flow: You Die!: As a tax professional, I agreed with both these comments.

So, you're suggesting I form a Sole Proprietorship instead?

And just hope I get all that paperwork filled out correctly on my first try? Sounds like a plan!


Obviously, you're going to do whatever feels best for you, as you should. I'm not trying to pile on, just trying to raise awareness that this is not as difficult as it might seem. There is no paperwork to form a sole proprietorship. You can apply for an EIN if you want to (super quick and easy at irs.gov), but you can also just use your SSN. You would also just request a business license in your state and city (if applicable), which you're going to have to do anyway. Doing so will trigger them to let you know how and when to pay applicable taxes. You can find helpful resources on the IRS or your state's website for choice on entity and pros and cons of each.
 
2021-02-25 9:37:49 AM  

Spice Must Flow: nartreb: Yeah, this.   Also, WHY are you incorporating?

To start a business.

Why do most people form a corporation?


There are basically three reasons for forming a corporation:

1) codify division of assets/profits among multiple investors.  This can bring accounting headaches, but when you've got lots of investors, that's a given.

2)  Corporations have "perpetual life", unlike a partnership.  Usually, if one partner dies, a partnership dissolves (all assets have to be divided/sold, and you have to form a new partnership among the survivors).  You don't want that if you have a bunch of partners/investors.  One of them is going to die, or want to quit, etc.

3)  Limited liability.  A business is responsible for its debts, and for the negligence of its employees.  If you own a pizza shop and your delivery driver runs over a little old lady, you better have insurance.    A corporation provides a legal distinction between the business and the owners.  In theory, the little old lady's heirs can sue the pizza business and force the owners to sell the store to pay the hospital bills, but they can't force the owners to sell their homes or their other businesses.    In practice, with a one-man company, this doesn't usually work quite as well as in theory.  Courts can "pierce the veil" on a tightly-controlled company and go for your personal assets, but even more practically, people just won't do business with your company (e.g., the supply company won't deliver your pizza ovens on credit) unless you also put your personal assets on the line as a guarantee that the company will pay its debts.

You can start a business without forming any kind of corporation.  If you find that you have a real want or need to incorporate, you can incorporate later.  First priority is: make the business profitable.  Don't waste time or money on anything that's not crucial to the survival of the business.
 
2021-02-25 3:08:44 PM  

nartreb: You can start a business without forming any kind of corporation.  If you find that you have a real want or need to incorporate, you can incorporate later.  First priority is: make the business profitable.  Don't waste time or money on anything that's not crucial to the survival of the business.


That is actually sound advice.
Thank you.

For those other authors curious why I am interested in forming an LLC. For one thing, you can register you own ISBN book numbers through your LLC, creating your own publishing company:
https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/b​y​-topic/authors/pw-select/article/70055​-indie-authors-business-guide.html

As the article points out, this does not always make sense for writers earning less than $50K a year on their writing alone.

However, I am also planning a side business, vertically integrated, which will adapt itself to this small tourist town I was born in. I don't want to be more specific than that, for now.

Part of this plan involves a screen printing shop, which I have experience in, and can set up inexpensively. (Yes, lots of people think tshirts are easy money, but is really hard work. And there are always places online doing it "cheaper". I've done it before.)

Now, I know a few small business owners who might invest in exchange for tshirts printed down the road. AFTER I've gotten started. This is one of my many reasons for forming an LLC, to simplify for investors.

But you have a good point that it might make sense to form that later. And not just for my writing alone, which might not make sense.
 
2021-02-25 3:25:33 PM  

You Die!: You can find helpful resources on the IRS or your state's website for choice on entity and pros and cons of each.


I appreciate your good intentions.

Yes, I realize the paperwork is "easy" but so is baking bread or changing the oil in my car. It's just not my expertise, and my own time is worth something to me.

This is not a dig against what you said. I'm just pointing out I don't mind paying an expert to get things done right the first time. And done correctly, so I don't have to worry.

But maybe it does make more sense to form a Sole Proprietorship until cashflow starts. So thank you.
 
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