Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Hill)   So what do you do when your senator flies off to Cancun during a state of emergency? Make a piñata of him, of course   (thehill.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Joe Biden, United States Senate, Democratic Party, Donald Trump, Republican Party, Texas Sen. Ted Cruz Rafael, United States presidential election, 2008, Dallas-area party store  
•       •       •

4273 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 24 Feb 2021 at 5:30 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



93 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-02-24 12:57:46 PM  
What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?
 
2021-02-24 1:46:33 PM  
cdn.ebaumsworld.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:11:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

I wouldn't hit that thing. I know it's full of shiat.
 
2021-02-24 5:32:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:35:15 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:36:57 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Circus peanuts. The only thing that comes out of Cruz is disappointments and sadness.
 
2021-02-24 5:37:15 PM  
I couldn't find the Ted Cruz picture I was looking for, and I haven't seen Nunes in a while.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:37:45 PM  
Ted looks like the guy in HS who you would purposely avoid telling about your house party but then at some point he would just show up anyway and you wouldnt say anything to avoid making a scene but then later youd catch him upstairs in your little sisters room sniffing her panties.
 
2021-02-24 5:38:09 PM  
All I gotta say is, finally at long last, Earth has centipede flavored jelly beans for extraterrestrial tourists.

"People on Earth eat these, try one"

"Gaa, wtf! Why!"

"Ikr, stay away from that place"
 
2021-02-24 5:38:15 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:38:47 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:38:53 PM  
I can't wait to read how this is just like when Kathy Griffin decapitated a puppet of Trump by my relatives on Facebook.
 
2021-02-24 5:39:19 PM  
Hit a Cruz piñata too hard, and bullshiat comes out.
 
2021-02-24 5:39:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:39:49 PM  

dothemath: Ted looks like the guy in HS who you would purposely avoid telling about your house party but then at some point he would just show up anyway and you wouldnt say anything to avoid making a scene but then later youd catch him upstairs in your little sisters room sniffing her panties.


That's disturbingly specific.
 
2021-02-24 5:40:33 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?

[i.imgur.com image 850x850]


Oh that's beautiful, post pandemic April Fools day, I'm doing THAT!
 
2021-02-24 5:41:10 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


No offense to subby, but this should have been the headline.
 
2021-02-24 5:41:10 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Wonderbread dipped in white chocolate. Garnished lovingly with a small constellation of boogers.

Also available in extra-spicy Mayonnaise flavor.
 
2021-02-24 5:41:36 PM  
Most piñatas you hit with a stick to break open.  This one would be more useful where you put the stick up the butt of the effigy.
 
2021-02-24 5:41:37 PM  
You don't make a piñata of them, you make a piñata out of them.
 
2021-02-24 5:42:24 PM  
Nice effort, but as I mentioned in the other thread, it needs more gut.
 
2021-02-24 5:43:00 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


I'm going with candied pork rectum.
 
2021-02-24 5:44:24 PM  

dothemath: Ted looks like the guy in HS who you would purposely avoid telling about your house party but then at some point he would just show up anyway and you wouldnt say anything to avoid making a scene but then later youd catch him upstairs in your little sisters room sniffing her panties.


Nah he's the one who's going to call your parents, or the cops
 
2021-02-24 5:44:53 PM  

neongoats: You don't make a piñata of them, you make a piñata out of them.


How about no jokes that can be interpreted as threats.

Let's not overthrow the government.

Ted Cruz is ruining his own life on his own.
 
2021-02-24 5:45:23 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:46:06 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?

[i.imgur.com image 850x850]


You know...

My favorite Brussel sprouts method is halving them, then pan searing in bacon grease under a lid to steam them too.

A drizzle of dark chocolate sprinkled with sea salt, or even bacon, could be amazing.

But not as funny as watching someone bite into one of those sprout pops unsuspecting.
 
2021-02-24 5:46:09 PM  

TheCableGuy: dothemath: Ted looks like the guy in HS who you would purposely avoid telling about your house party but then at some point he would just show up anyway and you wouldnt say anything to avoid making a scene but then later youd catch him upstairs in your little sisters room sniffing her panties.

That's disturbingly specific.


His fat face disturbs me.
 
2021-02-24 5:48:13 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size



A piñata, huh? So you think of me as something bright and cheerful full of toys and candy for young children? Thank you. That makes me feel much better about our relationship.
 
2021-02-24 5:49:40 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Candy?  I'm thinking more along the lines of kerosene or gunpowder.
 
2021-02-24 5:50:14 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Back in the 60s on vacations to MO my dad would always buy some horehound candy. It tasted like crap but he still bought it.
 
2021-02-24 5:51:37 PM  

Purple_Urkle: AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?

[Fark user image 425x313]


I wondered who taste tested that. Now we know.
 
2021-02-24 5:51:53 PM  

AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?


Two hundred pounds of boiled peanuts.
 
2021-02-24 5:51:55 PM  

Nah'mean: Nice effort, but as I mentioned in the other thread, it needs more gut.


They probably took a piñata they already had, re-painted it, and accessorized it.
 
2021-02-24 5:52:53 PM  
Fill the piñata with Raisenettes, uncovered Tootsie Rolls and chocolate donut sticks. Sit back, watch the reactions of children's faces. Have fun.
Just don't fill it with real bull poo.
Of course it'll be your fault they'll need therapy later.
 
2021-02-24 5:54:06 PM  
Make a pinata of Ted Cruz - is this not what we've been doing, justifiably, for 3 days, now?
 
2021-02-24 5:54:09 PM  
economycandy.comView Full Size
images.heb.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:55:32 PM  

saturn badger: Purple_Urkle: AlgaeRancher: What kind of candy would you put in a Ted Cruz piñata?

[Fark user image 425x313]

I wondered who taste tested that. Now we know.


The space alien tourists don't want to come back. 😥
 
2021-02-24 5:55:46 PM  

TheCableGuy: Ll

That's disturbingly specific.


It is disturbing, specific, and disturbingly  specific.
 
2021-02-24 5:55:54 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Ted Cruz wishes he looked like that
 
2021-02-24 5:56:45 PM  
Is it filled with lies and shame? Just like Ted?
 
2021-02-24 5:58:30 PM  

Spice Must Flow: I couldn't find the Ted Cruz picture I was looking for, and I haven't seen Nunes in a while.
[Fark user image image 425x412]


thats a fruit bong
 
2021-02-24 5:59:37 PM  
Sick burn. Too bad Texas will probably re-elect him regardless.
 
2021-02-24 6:03:20 PM  

Bastet1000: [Fark user image 425x318]


you, sir, have crossed the line.

/ewwww
 
2021-02-24 6:08:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/aprueba
 
2021-02-24 6:21:48 PM  

Purple_Urkle: All I gotta say is, finally at long last, Earth has centipede flavored jelly beans for extraterrestrial tourists.

"People on Earth eat these, try one"

"Gaa, wtf! Why!"

"Ikr, stay away from that place"


While I profoundly don't want to eat anything centipede flavored if you ever get a chance watch what a chicken does when they find one. They act like it is the most delicious thing they have ever eaten. Other chickens will chase them around trying to get it.

/makes you wonder
 
2021-02-24 6:27:33 PM  
I'm trying to find the old pic I took, but can't. There's a wafer/bar candy I saw in Germany that was named something like "Dick's Satisfying Candy" with the tag line something like "filled with chocolate love". All written in English. I only saw it the one time.
 
2021-02-24 6:30:32 PM  

AlgaeRancher: Purple_Urkle: All I gotta say is, finally at long last, Earth has centipede flavored jelly beans for extraterrestrial tourists.

"People on Earth eat these, try one"

"Gaa, wtf! Why!"

"Ikr, stay away from that place"

While I profoundly don't want to eat anything centipede flavored if you ever get a chance watch what a chicken does when they find one. They act like it is the most delicious thing they have ever eaten. Other chickens will chase them around trying to get it.

/makes you wonder


I'm more interested in who helped the developers get the flavor right. "No! It's still all wrong! This is nothing like a centipede. This tastes almost like a f__king moth!"
 
2021-02-24 6:32:13 PM  
The Pinata looks way better than Cruz himself does.
 
2021-02-24 6:36:20 PM  
AlgaeRancher:

Chickens are disturbingly omnivorous.

I've seen them sipping blood out of a puddle. They'll eat their own eggs. They love fried chicken as much as most of us.

I'm glad we eat so much of them, they're horrible animals.
 
2021-02-24 6:37:06 PM  

flondrix: Nah'mean: Nice effort, but as I mentioned in the other thread, it needs more gut.

They probably took a piñata they already had, re-painted it, and accessorized it.


OK Debbie Downer
 
Displayed 50 of 93 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.