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(Buzzfeed)   In Cinderella, the fairy godmother's magical clothes all disappear at midnight, but the glass slipper doesn't vanish. Totally fake   (buzzfeed.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Walt Disney, Walt Disney Motion Pictures Group, Snow White, Walt Disney Animation Studios, The Walt Disney Company, Michael Eisner, The Lion King, end of The Little Mermaid  
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889 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 24 Feb 2021 at 11:50 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-24 9:36:37 AM  
I normally don't bother with Buzzfeed listicles, but these are very interesting questions and I'm feeling helpful this morning, so:

1. InCinderella, the fairy godmother's magic disappears at midnight, but the glass slippers remain intact.
It's made out of glass, which is more resistant to magical effects and side effects than cloth.

2. Speaking of the glass slippers, Prince Charming tries to have every young woman in the country try on the slipper Cinderella left behind. That plan, to say the least, is unfeasible.
This is not an account of something "weird" that happened, it's an third-party assessment of an operational plan.

3. In The Lion King, if Scar wants to be king so much he's willing to have his family members killed, why didn't he kill Mufasa years ago, long before Simba was born?
Because Simba was a whiny little asshole who pushed Scar over the edge with his needy attention whoring.

4. At the end of The Little Mermaid, Ariel and Eric get married, but she's 16. 16!
16 is a perfectly legal age in many countries and states.

5. In Tarzan, if Jane and her family are from London and they teach Tarzan English, why does Tarzan speak with an American accent?
Because Tarzan is a real man and real men speak real English.

6. When Snow White arrives at an unknown cottage in the woods, she cleans it. There's a lot of bad stuff with women in Disney movies - Snow White shines in that regard - but this is laughably bonkers.
See 2, above. Also, *insert generic misogynistic comment*

7. And if Snow White knows the Queen is trying to have her killed, why does she go to sleep on strangers' beds in an unknown cottage? Stay alert, Snow White!
See 2 and 6, above. Also, *insert generic misogynistic and/or slut-shaming comment*

8. In Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent curses Aurora to prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die before the sun sets on her 16th birthday. That's so unnecessarily specific.
See 2, 6, and 7 above. Also, *insert generic "biatches be mad" comment*

9. Also, no one tells Aurora about the curse, but it would be so much safer to tell her everything. If she knew, she would never go anywhere near the spindle of a spinning wheel.
See 2, 6, 7, and 8 above.

10. The day after Pinocchio's brought to life, he heads off to school. He's a very recently sentient puppet walking to school.
The same magic that taught him motor skills and language also provided him with pre-set navigational functions.

11. Pocahontas's hair stays flawless while she's in the middle of a wind spiral.
American Indians have a natural connection with the Earth and can commune with its various spirits. This is nothing more than the Wind Spirit being sensitive to the hours she spent in makeup.

12. Cinderella's stepmother banishes her to live in the attic, but no one Cinderella knew beforehand ever checks in on her.
Nobody ever actually cared for her.

13. I mean, even with how terrible Cinderella's situation is, her fairy godmother gives her clothes. She doesn't give Cinderella a better home or money or anything.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, and 9 above.

14. Ariel from The Little Mermaid really loves humans and all that, but she does no research. She has to think to remember the word "street." So what does she love about humans exactly?
Their penises. She loves penises and despairs that they are not visible on fish or other mermen.

15. In Sleeping Beauty, Prince Phillip is from another kingdom, so why is he wandering around the forest next to the fairies' cottage?
Because he's a symbol of the oppressive patriarchy who is actively searching for new virgin lands to exploit.

16. And, more importantly, he kisses Aurora while she's asleep. Are we just not gonna talk about that?
We just did talk about it because you asked this question. See 15, above.

17. A nonconsensual kiss also happens in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. In this one, the Prince kisses Snow White while he thinks she's dead. She's not dead. She's asleep. But either way it's very bad.
Don't kink shame.

18. And why does the Queen in Snow White demand the Huntsman return with Snow White's heart in a box, as proof she's dead? That's both very intense and easy to fake.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 13 above.

19. In The Aristocats, Madame Adelaide Bonfamille puts in her will that her cats will get her fortune until they die. Her CATS.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, and 18 above.

20. After her cats die, the fortune will go to Edgar, but that's not good enough for him. So he tries to kill the cats to get the money and everything sooner. Jesus Christ, Edgar.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 18, and 19 above.

21. And lastly, Ariel from The Little Mermaid can write - she signs Ursula's contract - but she doesn't write down anything to communicate with Eric.
See 14, above. She's too busy thinking about his penis.
 
2021-02-24 10:01:22 AM  
Her clothes disappear at midnight?  This is on Pornhub?
 
2021-02-24 10:32:24 AM  
They need to do Star Trek.  I want to know why Geordi and Ro don't fall through the floor when they are out of phase, dammit!
 
2021-02-24 11:17:55 AM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Her clothes disappear at midnight?  This is on Pornhub?


I think that they just revert back to rags, not disappear completely, like the carriage reverts back to a pumpkin and the horses back to mice.
Still might be on pornhub though, just in a different section.
 
2021-02-24 11:58:11 AM  

UberDave: They need to do Star Trek.  I want to know why Geordi and Ro don't fall through the floor when they are out of phase, dammit!


Especially after they drop kick that out of phase Romulan through the outer bulkhead.
 
2021-02-24 12:17:54 PM  
Why doesn't Cinderella simply use the eagles to fly to Mordor?
 
2021-02-24 12:21:27 PM  

Pocket Ninja: 8. In Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent curses Aurora to prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die before the sun sets on her 16th birthday. That's so unnecessarily specific.
See 2, 6, and 7 above. Also, *insert generic "biatches be mad" comment*


That is a beautiful curse. Dooming them to spend 16 years loving and caring for someone only to have her ripped from them on the cusp of adulthood.
 
2021-02-24 12:24:42 PM  
I do not recall a naked fairy godmother in that film.

Pics or gtfo.
 
2021-02-24 12:54:41 PM  
Pretty sure that in the original Cinderella the sisters and step-mom had their eyes pecked out by birds at the wedding.

Also, "look back, look back! There's blood on the track!" figured heavily. The sisters mutilated their feet to fit in the slipper.

Pre-Disney, these were really awful morality tales.
 
2021-02-24 12:56:02 PM  
You don't even want to know about The Little Mermaid.
 
2021-02-24 12:58:05 PM  
Re: The Little Mermaid.  The movie doesn't tell us how quickly Eric and Ariel got hitched after she got permanent legs.  I assume it took at least a year or two; I mean, technically, they'd never spoken before, they needed to see if they were compatible first.

Also, they probably needed to explain stuff first, like pipes and forks before anything would have to take place.

//not to mention somebody had to drag Ursula's bloated corpse out to sea, before the wedding barge came through.  It'd be a bit unsightly.
//And, y'know, it took time to explain to the subjects why there's a dead octopus lady in their harbor.
 
2021-02-24 12:59:03 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


And now I have to clear my browser history.
 
2021-02-24 1:07:21 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.


Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta
 
2021-02-24 1:14:10 PM  

JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta



Here you go:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 1:15:44 PM  

JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta


NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...
 
2021-02-24 1:32:41 PM  
5. In Tarzan, if Jane and her family are from London and they teach Tarzan English, why does Tarzan speak with an American accent?

F*ck all that...why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
 
2021-02-24 1:34:17 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta

NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...


I'll go with 'not.'
 
2021-02-24 1:44:44 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta

NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...


Does she use this?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 1:48:15 PM  

UberDave: They need to do Star Trek.  I want to know why Geordi and Ro don't fall through the floor when they are out of phase, dammit!


Because gravity plating produced a field that they couldn't move through? There, easy enough.
 
2021-02-24 1:56:43 PM  

Slypork: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta

NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...

Does she use this?
[Fark user image 425x708]


Fark user imageView Full Size


I'm surprised they have not done this yet.
 
2021-02-24 2:11:05 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta


Here you go:

[Fark user image 201x251]


I deserved that. Well played.
 
2021-02-24 2:14:54 PM  

kermit the forg: Re: The Little Mermaid.  The movie doesn't tell us how quickly Eric and Ariel got hitched after she got permanent legs.  I assume it took at least a year or two; I mean, technically, they'd never spoken before, they needed to see if they were compatible first.

Also, they probably needed to explain stuff first, like pipes and forks before anything would have to take place.

//not to mention somebody had to drag Ursula's bloated corpse out to sea, before the wedding barge came through.  It'd be a bit unsightly.
//And, y'know, it took time to explain to the subjects why there's a dead octopus lady in their harbor.


This irks me that people just assume the Disney Princesses marry their Princes right after meeting them. It isn't shown how much time passes before the wedding. Sure, Ariel and Eric spent 3 days together before killing Ursula, but that's a lot of time to spend with someone with Special Needs Hell, Aurora and Philip were already betrothed, meaning they were gonna get married anyways. Meeting each other and realizing they like one another before the wedding was just icing on the cake. Belle and the Beast spent at least 6 months (Fall and Winter) together before he changed to a human. In Cinderella 3 it was shown that the Prince and Cindy were gonna get together regardless of the circumstances that lead to them meeting. Pocahontas 2 showed that break-ups are OK. The most realistic (I can't believe I'm saying this) portrayal of a cartoon princess and prince falling in love with each other is Swan Princess. Had that movie been done more competently, it would have been amazing to see a Prince and Princess literally grow up together and eventually getting married.

I know for a fact there is a farker here now whose marriage story was so rushed that the contestants of 90 Day Fiancee would have been like "Dude, slow the fark down!"
 
2021-02-24 2:28:14 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Her clothes disappear at midnight?  This is on Pornhub?


There's a VERSION of it on PornHub.
 
2021-02-24 2:34:56 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Creepy Lurker Guy: Her clothes disappear at midnight?  This is on Pornhub?

There's a VERSION of it on PornHub.


There is a version of everything on PornHub.
 
2021-02-24 2:51:17 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 3:06:33 PM  
TLDR:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 3:19:18 PM  
There were only two adult male lions on Pride Rock.  Where does Nala come from?  You would think if she were Scar's daughter, there would have been a piece of dialogue.

That leaves only one possibility.
 
2021-02-24 3:52:24 PM  

UNC_Samurai: There were only two adult male lions on Pride Rock.  Where does Nala come from?  You would think if she were Scar's daughter, there would have been a piece of dialogue.

That leaves only one possibility.


Cousins and half siblings marrying within royalty?  Well I never!
 
2021-02-24 4:19:47 PM  
A fish would never be friends with a crab explain that, atheists
 
2021-02-24 4:24:51 PM  

Marcos P: A fish would never be friends with a crab explain that, atheists


I've encountered some fishy smelly places with crabs.
 
2021-02-24 4:53:42 PM  
#14: I like Mexican food. I do not, however, know Spanish nor do I have every single menu item memorized.
 
2021-02-24 5:03:13 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta

NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...


i3.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-24 5:37:26 PM  
Sounds like one of those people who complain because the battle in space "didn't look realistic".
 
2021-02-24 6:00:34 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I normally don't bother with Buzzfeed listicles, but these are very interesting questions and I'm feeling helpful this morning, so:

1. InCinderella, the fairy godmother's magic disappears at midnight, but the glass slippers remain intact.
It's made out of glass, which is more resistant to magical effects and side effects than cloth.

2. Speaking of the glass slippers, Prince Charming tries to have every young woman in the country try on the slipper Cinderella left behind. That plan, to say the least, is unfeasible.
This is not an account of something "weird" that happened, it's an third-party assessment of an operational plan.

3. In The Lion King, if Scar wants to be king so much he's willing to have his family members killed, why didn't he kill Mufasa years ago, long before Simba was born?
Because Simba was a whiny little asshole who pushed Scar over the edge with his needy attention whoring.

4. At the end of The Little Mermaid, Ariel and Eric get married, but she's 16. 16!
16 is a perfectly legal age in many countries and states.

5. In Tarzan, if Jane and her family are from London and they teach Tarzan English, why does Tarzan speak with an American accent?
Because Tarzan is a real man and real men speak real English.

6. When Snow White arrives at an unknown cottage in the woods, she cleans it. There's a lot of bad stuff with women in Disney movies - Snow White shines in that regard - but this is laughably bonkers.
See 2, above. Also, *insert generic misogynistic comment*

7. And if Snow White knows the Queen is trying to have her killed, why does she go to sleep on strangers' beds in an unknown cottage? Stay alert, Snow White!
See 2 and 6, above. Also, *insert generic misogynistic and/or slut-shaming comment*

8. In Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent curses Aurora to prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel and die before the sun sets on her 16th birthday. That's so unnecessarily specific.
See 2, 6, and 7 above. Also, *insert generic "biatches be mad" comment*

9. Also, no one tells Aurora about the curse, but it would be so much safer to tell her everything. If she knew, she would never go anywhere near the spindle of a spinning wheel.
See 2, 6, 7, and 8 above.

10. The day after Pinocchio's brought to life, he heads off to school. He's a very recently sentient puppet walking to school.
The same magic that taught him motor skills and language also provided him with pre-set navigational functions.

11. Pocahontas's hair stays flawless while she's in the middle of a wind spiral.
American Indians have a natural connection with the Earth and can commune with its various spirits. This is nothing more than the Wind Spirit being sensitive to the hours she spent in makeup.

12. Cinderella's stepmother banishes her to live in the attic, but no one Cinderella knew beforehand ever checks in on her.
Nobody ever actually cared for her.

13. I mean, even with how terrible Cinderella's situation is, her fairy godmother gives her clothes. She doesn't give Cinderella a better home or money or anything.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, and 9 above.

14. Ariel from The Little Mermaid really loves humans and all that, but she does no research. She has to think to remember the word "street." So what does she love about humans exactly?
Their penises. She loves penises and despairs that they are not visible on fish or other mermen.

15. In Sleeping Beauty, Prince Phillip is from another kingdom, so why is he wandering around the forest next to the fairies' cottage?
Because he's a symbol of the oppressive patriarchy who is actively searching for new virgin lands to exploit.

16. And, more importantly, he kisses Aurora while she's asleep. Are we just not gonna talk about that?
We just did talk about it because you asked this question. See 15, above.

17. A nonconsensual kiss also happens in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. In this one, the Prince kisses Snow White while he thinks she's dead. She's not dead. She's asleep. But either way it's very bad.
Don't kink shame.

18. And why does the Queen in Snow White demand the Huntsman return with Snow White's heart in a box, as proof she's dead? That's both very intense and easy to fake.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 13 above.

19. In The Aristocats, Madame Adelaide Bonfamille puts in her will that her cats will get her fortune until they die. Her CATS.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, and 18 above.

20. After her cats die, the fortune will go to Edgar, but that's not good enough for him. So he tries to kill the cats to get the money and everything sooner. Jesus Christ, Edgar.
See 2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 13, 18, and 19 above.

21. And lastly, Ariel from The Little Mermaid can write - she signs Ursula's contract - but she doesn't write down anything to communicate with Eric.
See 14, above. She's too busy thinking about his penis.


Best
Ted
Talk
Ever.
 
2021-02-24 6:04:54 PM  

Biledriver: 5. In Tarzan, if Jane and her family are from London and they teach Tarzan English, why does Tarzan speak with an American accent?

F*ck all that...why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


You mean Jane?
 
2021-02-24 9:24:12 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: JammerJim: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x533]

And now I have to clear my browser history.

Can you show it to the rest of us first? You know, for science.

/jk
//sorta

NSFW.

There. Now your childhood is ruined.
Or not...


Not really.  It isn't April from Ninja Turtles.
 
2021-02-24 9:36:04 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Creepy Lurker Guy: Her clothes disappear at midnight?  This is on Pornhub?

There's a VERSION of it on PornHub.


There's also a vintage porn, feature length version of Snow White.

/yes, the dwarves get some.
 
2021-02-24 10:36:13 PM  

ng2810: kermit the forg: Re: The Little Mermaid.  The movie doesn't tell us how quickly Eric and Ariel got hitched after she got permanent legs.  I assume it took at least a year or two; I mean, technically, they'd never spoken before, they needed to see if they were compatible first.

Also, they probably needed to explain stuff first, like pipes and forks before anything would have to take place.

//not to mention somebody had to drag Ursula's bloated corpse out to sea, before the wedding barge came through.  It'd be a bit unsightly.
//And, y'know, it took time to explain to the subjects why there's a dead octopus lady in their harbor.

This irks me that people just assume the Disney Princesses marry their Princes right after meeting them. It isn't shown how much time passes before the wedding. Sure, Ariel and Eric spent 3 days together before killing Ursula, but that's a lot of time to spend with someone with Special Needs Hell, Aurora and Philip were already betrothed, meaning they were gonna get married anyways. Meeting each other and realizing they like one another before the wedding was just icing on the cake. Belle and the Beast spent at least 6 months (Fall and Winter) together before he changed to a human. In Cinderella 3 it was shown that the Prince and Cindy were gonna get together regardless of the circumstances that lead to them meeting. Pocahontas 2 showed that break-ups are OK. The most realistic (I can't believe I'm saying this) portrayal of a cartoon princess and prince falling in love with each other is Swan Princess. Had that movie been done more competently, it would have been amazing to see a Prince and Princess literally grow up together and eventually getting married.

I know for a fact there is a farker here now whose marriage story was so rushed that the contestants of 90 Day Fiancee would have been like "Dude, slow the fark down!"


FWIW my parents got engaged six months after meeting each other and got married about a year later.

//considering my mom's kinda crazy, they probably should have waited a bit longer
 
2021-02-24 11:06:28 PM  
I made the mistake of reading that, and now I'm confused why someone thinks that being able to put your mark on a contract means that you can write fluently in general (for 99.9999999% of human history it very much would not have even slightly implied that), and also that two civilizations that literally never interact with each other under almost any circumstances would not only share a spoken language, but use the same script to write it.

Like... Ariel's voice is explicitly a magical communication power that can be taken away and bottled so it's pretty believable that it'd allow her to talk to land people (gotta tempt those sailors to their deaths somehow), but does this guy think that if, say, the crab or some random fish caught for the chef spoke in the language they share with Ariel to a human, that human would understand the speech?  Because if so that means the land folk know the sea folk are all sentient, civilized people and are choosing to make them a staple of the local human diet anyhow, and that movie has much bigger things to worry about than the details of underwater literacy programmes.
 
2021-02-25 1:29:25 AM  

UNC_Samurai: There were only two adult male lions on Pride Rock.  Where does Nala come from?  You would think if she were Scar's daughter, there would have been a piece of dialogue.

That leaves only one possibility.


Nala is pale and has blue eyes just like her mother Sarafina. If she was Mufasa or Scar's daughter then she'd be much darker.

In the wild, lion prides rarely have more than two male lions. The boys are usually driven away when they reach puberty and either come back to challenge the alpha for rule of the Pride, go off and start their own Prides, or team up with a couple other bachelor lions to form a gang.

I suspect in order to diversify the gene pool in Pride Rock, Sarafina and the other lionesses would leave to mate with these solitary gang lions. Nala herself said she left Pride Rock "To find help" I suspected her plan was to find another male lion to bring back to challenge Scar for the throne.

Scar himself is problematic. My theory is that he and Mufasa are actually twins, and Mufasa was chosen as heir instead of him. Since there could be only one King, they tried to have Scar killed. Maybe he fought back so nobly they allowed him to live at Pride Rock? Reason why he has a scar on his eye, and his name is Scar, and how he secretly desired the throne while feigning disinterest.

/I've put waaaaay too much thought into this.
 
2021-02-25 1:16:31 PM  

ng2810: UNC_Samurai: There were only two adult male lions on Pride Rock.  Where does Nala come from?  You would think if she were Scar's daughter, there would have been a piece of dialogue.

That leaves only one possibility.

Nala is pale and has blue eyes just like her mother Sarafina. If she was Mufasa or Scar's daughter then she'd be much darker.

In the wild, lion prides rarely have more than two male lions. The boys are usually driven away when they reach puberty and either come back to challenge the alpha for rule of the Pride, go off and start their own Prides, or team up with a couple other bachelor lions to form a gang.

I suspect in order to diversify the gene pool in Pride Rock, Sarafina and the other lionesses would leave to mate with these solitary gang lions. Nala herself said she left Pride Rock "To find help" I suspected her plan was to find another male lion to bring back to challenge Scar for the throne.

Scar himself is problematic. My theory is that he and Mufasa are actually twins, and Mufasa was chosen as heir instead of him. Since there could be only one King, they tried to have Scar killed. Maybe he fought back so nobly they allowed him to live at Pride Rock? Reason why he has a scar on his eye, and his name is Scar, and how he secretly desired the throne while feigning disinterest.

/I've put waaaaay too much thought into this.


It can get worse. There are zoologists/Disney geeks that have applied the science of big cats to the film, and have some disturbing implications when real Nature puts in.
 
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