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(CBS Boston)   Man goes swimming in frozen Massachusetts pond used for flooding cranberry bogs, wins Darwin 500-meter freestyle trophy   (boston.cbslocal.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Cranberry, Massachusetts State Police, Bog, icy pond, sonar device, body of a missing swimmer, Swimming, First responders  
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4121 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2021 at 2:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



38 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-22 9:57:38 PM  
"freezestyle"... think about your life subby.
 
2021-02-22 11:07:14 PM  
How do the cranberry bog dolphins survive winters, you may ask? The same way crocs do: they hibernate with their blowholes above the ice.

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2021-02-22 11:30:33 PM  
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2021-02-23 2:47:35 AM  

vygramul: How do the cranberry bog dolphins survive winters, you may ask? The same way crocs do: they hibernate with their blowholes above the ice.

[Fark user image 600x779]


That's a whale of a tale.
 
2021-02-23 2:52:21 AM  
Herp a derp
 
2021-02-23 2:56:33 AM  
Wareham? At the bottom of the pond!
 
2021-02-23 3:02:37 AM  
Causing not a single ripple on the surface of the gene pool...
 
2021-02-23 3:06:22 AM  
Oh no! He's gonna come back as a ZOM-BEE ZOM-BEE ZOM-OO-AA-OO-AA-OH-OH
 
2021-02-23 3:09:30 AM  
Someone help me out here: Why in the world would cranberries need to be flooded?!
 
2021-02-23 3:11:34 AM  
Stuff like that makes me feel bad for the divers.

But, at least the cold would keep the body nice and limber. No one wants to walk out of the water with a stiff one.
 
2021-02-23 3:14:40 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: Someone help me out here: Why in the world would cranberries need to be flooded?!


They naturally grow in a bog. Flooding helps the farmer remove pests, and keep the plants healthy. It is also how they harvest the cranberries: the bog is flooded and the cranberries float and can be scooped up.
 
2021-02-23 3:19:05 AM  
He may be dead but his bladder is PERFECT.
 
2021-02-23 3:28:46 AM  
ocean spray's testing a new flavor.. cran-nibal
 
2021-02-23 3:52:20 AM  
Poor guy must have run out of juice
 
2021-02-23 4:53:07 AM  
They aren't releasing the name, but it's Bob now.
 
2021-02-23 5:07:35 AM  
I got $5 his heart seized.

Freezing cold water is a shock to the system. Even if you've done it before.
 
2021-02-23 5:57:18 AM  

leeksfromchichis: They aren't releasing the name, but it's Bob now.


It was Wade.
 
2021-02-23 6:24:31 AM  
Police are still investigating why the man was unable to get out of the water. There is no sign of foul play.
Multiple divers went in and chainsaws were used to cut through the ice, which was five inches thick in some spots


Some mysteries may never be solved. They better call in Poirot.
 
2021-02-23 6:33:36 AM  

leeksfromchichis: They aren't releasing the name, but it's Bob now.


Well he, and the lake, are both frozen so I would have gone with Chip.
 
2021-02-23 6:54:10 AM  
Maybe he was bogged down at work.
 
2021-02-23 7:05:04 AM  
Massachusetts State Police are using a sonar device and state environmental police have an underwater robot with a camera on it in their search of the pond, which is ten feet deep in some spots.

I have no knowledge of how cranberry bogs work, but I always just assumed they were no more than a few feet deep.  Shallow enough to stand in with chest waders.  Bad assumption it seems.
 
2021-02-23 7:18:42 AM  

crinz83: ocean spray's testing a new flavor.. cran-nibal


Army Hammer, spokesperson.
 
2021-02-23 7:37:39 AM  

vygramul: How do the cranberry bog dolphins survive winters, you may ask? The same way crocs do: they hibernate with their blowholes above the ice.


Crocks don't have blowholes; you saw one doing the backstroke...
 
2021-02-23 7:42:30 AM  

bababa: MelGoesOnTour: Someone help me out here: Why in the world would cranberries need to be flooded?!

They naturally grow in a bog. Flooding helps the farmer remove pests, and keep the plants healthy. It is also how they harvest the cranberries: the bog is flooded and the cranberries float and can be scooped up.


I had no idea about that at all.
 
2021-02-23 7:42:44 AM  
The good news is, we found your son! The bad news is, he's an idiot. And also dead. And his cremation is going to take a bunch of extra fuel now...
 
2021-02-23 7:49:52 AM  

MelGoesOnTour: Someone help me out here: Why in the world would cranberries need to be flooded?!


They Cant grow if they are not flooded
 
2021-02-23 8:12:56 AM  

MurphyMurphy: I got $5 his heart seized.


WD-40
 
2021-02-23 8:14:46 AM  

SBinRR: Massachusetts State Police are using a sonar device and state environmental police have an underwater robot with a camera on it in their search of the pond, which is ten feet deep in some spots.

I have no knowledge of how cranberry bogs work, but I always just assumed they were no more than a few feet deep.  Shallow enough to stand in with chest waders.  Bad assumption it seems.


This wasn't the bog, this was the pond that holds the water to flood the bog. The bogs are flooded in the spring and fall, IIRC, the rest of the time they're dry. Cranberries are weird, but add enough sugar and they're delicious.
 
2021-02-23 9:41:18 AM  
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2021-02-23 9:46:36 AM  
Cranberries!
The Cranberries - Zombie 1999 Live Video
Youtube 8MuhFxaT7zo
RIP D
 
2021-02-23 9:57:52 AM  
This is why most people who jump into icy water do it in groups. No matter how many times you jump in icy water there is a chance that it could send you into shock and possibly stop your heart. So doing it by yourself is a pretty bad idea. Really it's a good idea to have backup no matter what you are doing if there is a possibility of a bad outcome. Having someone there to help and call for more help is just a smart move.
 
2021-02-23 10:06:48 AM  

Flowery Twats: SBinRR: Massachusetts State Police are using a sonar device and state environmental police have an underwater robot with a camera on it in their search of the pond, which is ten feet deep in some spots.

I have no knowledge of how cranberry bogs work, but I always just assumed they were no more than a few feet deep.  Shallow enough to stand in with chest waders.  Bad assumption it seems.

This wasn't the bog, this was the pond that holds the water to flood the bog. The bogs are flooded in the spring and fall, IIRC, the rest of the time they're dry. Cranberries are weird, but add enough sugar and they're delicious.


Ah, thanks for the info.  I feel a little more knowledgeable about Ocean Sprayology.
 
2021-02-23 11:05:45 AM  
Gawd amighty, just leave him there until spring.  He's not going to get any deader.
 
2021-02-23 11:07:16 AM  
There's not enough info to determine if he qualifies for a Darwin award.

I'd say that the odds are pretty good that, as a middle-aged man, he fathered an offspring or two, which would disqualify him.
 
2021-02-23 11:25:00 AM  
Cranberry harvest continues a 'very Canadian' tradition
Youtube NFGgEdRGTvA

/ from the article:  the guy was not in the bog - he was in the adjacent pond that they use to flood the bog area during harvest time.
 
2021-02-23 12:32:46 PM  
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2021-02-23 2:16:19 PM  

Stud Gerbil: leeksfromchichis: They aren't releasing the name, but it's Bob now.

It was Wade.


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2021-02-23 9:28:13 PM  
You know, I haven't logged into Fark in probably close to 20 years, but I did today. That guy was my ex brother in law, and a really good guy, who made a very very poor decision, and a lot of people are hurting here because of it. It's very sad.
That said, Fark on, people! I don't expect anyone to change over my comment, nor would I expect anyone to. We need humor in life, and thus, Fark. I just never thought I'd be reading about this here. Tom was a good guy, but had his demons, one of which was a faulty sense of invincibility.
 
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