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(BBC-US)   Cocaine Hippos Must Die was the name of my Save Ferris tribute ban in college   (bbc.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Colombia, Carlos Valderrama, group of hippos, Extinction, Culling, Santa Marta, Selective breeding, Endangered species  
•       •       •

519 clicks; posted to STEM » on 11 Feb 2021 at 4:14 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



31 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-11 3:53:35 PM  
 Joke's on you, subby. It's already the name of my Wham cover band.
 
2021-02-11 4:24:02 PM  
Save Ferris - Come On Eileen
Youtube yzfCFFCSnLE
 
2021-02-11 4:25:00 PM  
this is gonna be hard for them, because people in Colombia farking love those Hippos, and there are laws against killing them.
 
2021-02-11 4:32:15 PM  
Death In June - All Pigs Must Die (2001)
Youtube F15LwthvTco
 
2021-02-11 4:33:49 PM  
Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!
 
2021-02-11 4:41:27 PM  
$50,000 to castrate a hippo isn't enough.
 
2021-02-11 4:45:43 PM  
"Hippo castrations are a dangerous and logistically complicated exercise, experts say" That sounds like an understatement.
 
2021-02-11 4:57:01 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-11 5:23:22 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!


People actually considered that in the early 20th century; there was a small attempt to start ranching hippos in the US to address a meat shortage.

Turns out, though, hippos are a little bit harder to manage than domesticated pigs.
 
2021-02-11 5:26:32 PM  

LordJiro: Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!

People actually considered that in the early 20th century; there was a small attempt to start ranching hippos in the US to address a meat shortage.

Turns out, though, hippos are a little bit harder to manage than domesticated pigs.


That's just because we're pussies who haven't got the nards to put in the 6000 years to domesticate them.
 
2021-02-11 5:28:48 PM  
Still, there was a massive public outcry when Colombian Army soldiers gunned down the hippo Pepe in 2009, after it was deemed a threat to local communities. It was enough to lead authorities to make hippos legally protected, which is an obstacle to any plans to cull them.

Leave it to politicians to do the exact opposite of the right thing.
 
2021-02-11 6:31:15 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!


That was actually an idea floated for american industry to deal with ... invasive warercress or something.

Ecologically i'm glad they didn't but wouldn't it have been cool?
 
2021-02-11 6:48:59 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!

That was actually an idea floated for american industry to deal with ... invasive warercress or something.

Ecologically i'm glad they didn't but wouldn't it have been cool?


https://www.texasstandard.org/stories​/​ever-tried-a-hippo-steak-how-the-u-s-a​lmost-ditched-beef-for-hippo/

Apparently it's tasty. Seems like an easy problem to solve.
 
2021-02-11 6:50:38 PM  
What cocaine hippos might look like:

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-11 7:10:13 PM  
They do not have natural predators in South America, meaning they can reproduce much more easily.

What the fark is a natural predator for a hippo?

As far as I can tell, they don't have natural predators anywhere. Even back home.
 
2021-02-11 7:26:55 PM  

dyhchong: They do not have natural predators in South America, meaning they can reproduce much more easily.

What the fark is a natural predator for a hippo?

As far as I can tell, they don't have natural predators anywhere. Even back home.


Crocs, mostly.  They pick off a fair percentage of the young ones.  Which keeps the population sane overall.  An adult hippo?  Unless it's sick, injured, or otherwise a complete farking mess nothing's dumb enough to try.
 
2021-02-11 7:31:02 PM  
I've read about plans to let loose hippos in the swamps of the Mississippi delta. Something about eating an invasive species of plant. Then they could harvest hippo for protein. But if you've ever gone to a slaughterhouse, you see they get the larger animals to walk up to the starting point. You don't prod hippos anywhere.
 
2021-02-11 8:10:26 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!

That was actually an idea floated for american industry to deal with ... invasive warercress or something.

Ecologically i'm glad they didn't but wouldn't it have been cool?


Biggest problem is bull hippos think everything is after their wimmenfolk. Boats, people, doesn't matter. Second biggest problem is they graze on land at night but anything getting between them and the water panics them and they'll run over it to get back to the water. Pickups, people, doesn't matter.

And they are a lot faster than they look like they would be.
 
2021-02-11 8:40:17 PM  

Jeff5: leeksfromchichis: Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!

That was actually an idea floated for american industry to deal with ... invasive warercress or something.

Ecologically i'm glad they didn't but wouldn't it have been cool?

Biggest problem is bull hippos think everything is after their wimmenfolk. Boats, people, doesn't matter. Second biggest problem is they graze on land at night but anything getting between them and the water panics them and they'll run over it to get back to the water. Pickups, people, doesn't matter.

And they are a lot faster than they look like they would be.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
That's preposterous!

Who would be after those thick, lucious, semi-aquatic, pink sweating hippo women?

*rubs hands together *
 
2021-02-11 8:47:09 PM  
The Accountant's Story: Inside the Violent World of the Medellín Cartel.

Good read !!!!
 
2021-02-11 9:21:42 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Jeff5: leeksfromchichis: Representative of the unwashed masses: Hmm if you get enough of them, they kind of look like pigs (just way bigger).

Breed them like crazy, process them into hippo bacon. PROFIT!

That was actually an idea floated for american industry to deal with ... invasive warercress or something.

Ecologically i'm glad they didn't but wouldn't it have been cool?

Biggest problem is bull hippos think everything is after their wimmenfolk. Boats, people, doesn't matter. Second biggest problem is they graze on land at night but anything getting between them and the water panics them and they'll run over it to get back to the water. Pickups, people, doesn't matter.

And they are a lot faster than they look like they would be.

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 360x450]That's preposterous!

Who would be after those thick, lucious, semi-aquatic, pink sweating hippo women?

*rubs hands together *


Apparently it's a rule that if you are a bull hippo and get a herd of cows together you are automatically insanely jealous of everything.

Then again, you only get a herd of cow hippos by kicking much bull hippo ass, and you know those insane tusks/teeth bull hippos have?

Those are for fighting. Breeding fights are apparently absolutely epic, and not infrequently not everybody survives them. Occasionally neither does.
 
2021-02-11 10:43:03 PM  
Hippo castrations are a dangerous and logistically complicated exercise, experts say

Wow, that's some fine detective work there Lou.
 
2021-02-11 10:47:49 PM  

EbolaNYC: Hippo castrations are a dangerous and logistically complicated exercise, experts say

Wow, that's some fine detective work there Lou.


A little respect, they're experts.

I do wonder where one acquires that particular expertise...
 
2021-02-11 10:51:28 PM  
- Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.
 
2021-02-11 11:48:41 PM  

dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.


Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?
 
2021-02-12 12:11:45 AM  

Jeff5: dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.

Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?


This is a hippo
Fark user imageView Full Size


Maybe you got it confused with a manatee?
i.guim.co.ukView Full Size
 
2021-02-12 12:14:16 AM  

dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.

Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?

This is a hippo
[Fark user image image 275x183]

Maybe you got it confused with a manatee?
[i.guim.co.uk image 850x850]


That hippo is almost certainly in a zoo, in the wild they rarely leave the water in daylight.
 
2021-02-12 12:17:58 AM  

Jeff5: dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.

Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?

This is a hippo
[Fark user image image 275x183]

Maybe you got it confused with a manatee?
[i.guim.co.uk image 850x850]

That hippo is almost certainly in a zoo, in the wild they rarely leave the water in daylight.


Darn it, and veterinarians have to go to bed at 6pm.

memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2021-02-12 12:37:43 AM  

dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.

Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?

This is a hippo
[Fark user image image 275x183]

Maybe you got it confused with a manatee?
[i.guim.co.uk image 850x850]

That hippo is almost certainly in a zoo, in the wild they rarely leave the water in daylight.

Darn it, and veterinarians have to go to bed at 6pm.

[memegenerator.net image 720x336]


You're going to put some poor bastard under your hippo trap in the dark?

You know they are herd animals, right?
 
2021-02-12 12:41:54 AM  

Jeff5: dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: Jeff5: dyhchong: - Shipping container, half buried.
- Second shipping container on top. Remove the doors, but put a controllable gate at one end.
- Cut a hole in the roof of the lower one and put a small door in it, about halfway down.
- Put food at the gate end of the top shipping container.
- Put a person with white hot shears in the lower container.
- Hippo walks in, eunuch stomps and roars out.

Is the guy with shears in SCUBA gear?

Suicidal?

This is a hippo
[Fark user image image 275x183]

Maybe you got it confused with a manatee?
[i.guim.co.uk image 850x850]

That hippo is almost certainly in a zoo, in the wild they rarely leave the water in daylight.

Darn it, and veterinarians have to go to bed at 6pm.

[memegenerator.net image 720x336]

You're going to put some poor bastard under your hippo trap in the dark?

You know they are herd animals, right?


https://www.mitre10.co.nz/shop/philip​s​-light-bulb-warm-white-60-watt-white/p​/234539

Only 74c each. They could probably even buy two or three.
 
2021-02-12 8:57:01 AM  
Cocaine hippos sounds like a good nickname for people at parties who say they are going to throw in, but just do everyone else's drugs and leave
 
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