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(Salon)   Why buy bagel bites, pizza rolls, and combos when you can waste hours and spend five times as much making them at home?   (salon.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Bread, Tomato sauce, Sesame, Tomato, Ketchup, Pizza Rolls, Super Bowl, awesome recipes  
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322 clicks; posted to Food » on 07 Feb 2021 at 4:25 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



25 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-02-07 1:47:47 AM  
The only fast food I ever deliberately set out to replicate at home is the Sausage McMuffin.

I get a pound of good loose sausage, divide it up into six patties, and grill it on my Weber, seasoned to taste (a little salt, a little pepper, a little garlic).  Or use two pounds and make a double batch.  When grilled, let them cool and put 'em in a zip lock bag in the fridge.

Then for breakfast, I split and toast an English Muffin, butter it, put a slice of sharp cheddar on the bottom, microwave a sausage patty for 30 seconds, put it on the cheese, add the top of the muffin, and enjoy with a cup of coffee.

It's not *exactly* the same as what I get from McDonald's, but it's pretty damn good, it takes very little time once the sausage is grilled, and I figure my cost per McMuffin comes out to only 10-15 cents more than buying one at McDonald's.

And I can customize them.  I can actually put seasonings on my sausage, instead of setting for mass-market bland, and use sharp cheddar instead of American.

Of course, adding an egg would raise the cost a good bit, and take a lot more fussing around, but I don't care for eggs on sandwiches anyway, so this works for me.
 
2021-02-07 1:48:53 AM  
* - 'settling for', not 'setting for'.
 
2021-02-07 1:50:58 AM  
First, don't be so dramatic sunny. It's not as difficult as you seem to want to believe. Second, when you make it yourself, you know exactly what is in it. Last, if you can't find some satisfaction in making something for your family and yourself then you are irredeemable. Maybe you should stick to the frozen food aisle and leave the challenges to people who can handle them.
 
2021-02-07 5:27:00 AM  
Because maybe I'll walk into the kitchen at the right moment:

Totino's with Kristen Stewart - SNL
Youtube A4kpVO56OBU
 
2021-02-07 5:38:31 AM  
Homemade ham and cheese hot pockets are on the docket for me, and I can assure you they are a fraction of the cost of the "real" thing.
 
2021-02-07 6:39:54 AM  
On the other hand, you can always cook some proper food.

Pie. Chicken and Mushroom. It was my first try (I'm a novice in the kitchen), and turned out pretty well. I couldn't find a pie cone, so substituted a salt shaker filled with baking beans. It worked.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-02-07 6:46:36 AM  

TwowheelinTim: First, don't be so dramatic sunny. It's not as difficult as you seem to want to believe. Second, when you make it yourself, you know exactly what is in it. Last, if you can't find some satisfaction in making something for your family and yourself then you are irredeemable. Maybe you should stick to the frozen food aisle and leave the challenges to people who can handle them.


This, like another farker said, recreating McDonald's mcbreakfast is really good and about the same cost, I love making those damn things, and scrambling a couple eggs to go on it too. Messy, but damn good.

On the other hand, watching babish videos (love the dude 100%) where he recreates some dish, but makes the pasta or bread or whatever by hand, yeah that's just too much.

/I wish I had a stand mixer with pasta roller attachments
 
2021-02-07 6:51:56 AM  

luckyeddie: On the other hand, you can always cook some proper food.

Pie. Chicken and Mushroom. It was my first try (I'm a novice in the kitchen), and turned out pretty well. I couldn't find a pie cone, so substituted a salt shaker filled with baking beans. It worked.

[Fark user image image 850x632]


If you wrap a strip of tin foil around the edges for the first half (or so) of the baking time, it will help control the over browning there.

Looks nice though!  Love me some pot pie.
 
2021-02-07 7:31:35 AM  

151: /I wish I had a stand mixer with pasta roller attachments


We've found the attachments to go too fast. It might still be around somewhere if you want it. (not the KA mixer, just the pasta roller)  We much prefer a hand cranked one where you can exactly control the speed.
 
2021-02-07 8:00:12 AM  
I'm with you subby!

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2021-02-07 8:05:37 AM  
I view them as two kinds of food. 1st is easy to make and quick. If you want to make it from scratch, it has its own benefits.

I do a hybrid french bread pizza. I use store bought garlic bread and pizza sauce and add my own toppings. Just about as quick as bagel bites (made in the oven) and a lot tastier.
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-02-07 8:07:42 AM  

offacue: 151: /I wish I had a stand mixer with pasta roller attachments

We've found the attachments to go too fast. It might still be around somewhere if you want it. (not the KA mixer, just the pasta roller)  We much prefer a hand cranked one where you can exactly control the speed.


I got my eyes on a commercial version, like $800 for the mixer alone. It's sitting in my Amazon wishlist just daring me to pull the trigger on it.

Another $300 for the attachments I want.
 
2021-02-07 8:23:51 AM  

drogg: luckyeddie: On the other hand, you can always cook some proper food.

Pie. Chicken and Mushroom. It was my first try (I'm a novice in the kitchen), and turned out pretty well. I couldn't find a pie cone, so substituted a salt shaker filled with baking beans. It worked.

[Fark user image image 850x632]

If you wrap a strip of tin foil around the edges for the first half (or so) of the baking time, it will help control the over browning there.

Looks nice though!  Love me some pot pie.


Thank you - that's a great idea. I'm making a steak pie next week - I shall try that.
 
2021-02-07 9:12:26 AM  
Way too simple mini-pizzas

Refrigerated rolls
Mash with floured glass
Bake for half the recommended time
Mash again
Add toppings
Finish baking
 
2021-02-07 9:21:55 AM  

TwowheelinTim: First, don't be so dramatic sunny. It's not as difficult as you seem to want to believe. Second, when you make it yourself, you know exactly what is in it. Last, if you can't find some satisfaction in making something for your family and yourself then you are irredeemable. Maybe you should stick to the frozen food aisle and leave the challenges to people who can handle them.


Fourth(?): When people are isolating due to a global pandemic, they often end up with a lot of time to waste.
 
2021-02-07 9:23:51 AM  
So off we went, and in one afternoon, I turned out 32 from-scratch miniature bagel pizzas and life will never be the same again.

Why has this shiat become the default writing style for online articles? Who the fark thinks this is funny or clever anymore?
 
2021-02-07 9:39:41 AM  

natazha: Way too simple mini-pizzas

Refrigerated rolls
Mash with floured glass
Bake for half the recommended time
Mash again
Add toppings
Finish baking


We do it with tortillas in the air fryer.  The crust comes out crispy and hot
 
2021-02-07 9:50:12 AM  
It's winter. Perfect excuse to heat up the oven
 
2021-02-07 10:06:35 AM  
The Food tab should just change to the Pizza tab.
 
2021-02-07 10:22:00 AM  
Subby apparently never heard the little factoid that people who tend to cook their own food, as opposed to buying takeout or processed food, tend to be healthier.  That may have relevance during a global pandemic in which the #2 target, after old people, is unhealthy people.
 
2021-02-07 10:28:46 AM  

natazha: Way too simple mini-pizzas

Refrigerated rolls
Mash with floured glass
Bake for half the recommended time
Mash again
Add toppings
Finish baking


I don't know why but I thought you meant you were mashing the bread rolls into broken glass. It made sense to me, that would indeed be the real homemade Ellio's pizza experience.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-02-07 10:59:22 AM  
Meh. Depending on what it is, I agree with subby's headline. A lot of DIY things are a waste of time and money IMO. For some food items it's okay. If they're ingredients that you would normally have around anyway it's not too bad.
 
2021-02-07 11:11:48 AM  

151: TwowheelinTim: First, don't be so dramatic sunny. It's not as difficult as you seem to want to believe. Second, when you make it yourself, you know exactly what is in it. Last, if you can't find some satisfaction in making something for your family and yourself then you are irredeemable. Maybe you should stick to the frozen food aisle and leave the challenges to people who can handle them.

This, like another farker said, recreating McDonald's mcbreakfast is really good and about the same cost, I love making those damn things, and scrambling a couple eggs to go on it too. Messy, but damn good.

On the other hand, watching babish videos (love the dude 100%) where he recreates some dish, but makes the pasta or bread or whatever by hand, yeah that's just too much.

/I wish I had a stand mixer with pasta roller attachments


I like to crack the egg in an oiled skilled and then use the shell to crack the yolk.  Fry it a bit and then give it a flip and pull it when it's still kinda runny.

/also, isn't a standard egg mcmuffin like $4.50?  That's insane, mine are a lot less expensive.
 
2021-02-07 11:46:06 AM  
From Bon Appetit:


Bagel Bites:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72eq0​zeUH3A&list=PLKtIunYVkv_RwB_yx1SZrZC-d​dhxyXanh&index=7

Combos:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4l5i5​3fDpzo&list=PLKtIunYVkv_RwB_yx1SZrZC-d​dhxyXanh&index=8

Pizza Rolls:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKqC5​w207O4&list=PLKtIunYVkv_RwB_yx1SZrZC-d​dhxyXanh&index=12

Hot Pockets:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BriBD​iBxaMY&list=PLKtIunYVkv_RwB_yx1SZrZC-d​dhxyXanh&index=20
 
2021-02-07 5:27:55 PM  
Since I can't actually get any of those things in Norway, it might be worth it. I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to fry little pockets of cheese and pepperoni or top bagels with pizza toppings.
 
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