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(Google)   Everyone teased the snowman about his pointy nose... But, luckily, he didn't carrot all. It's your Bad Joke Thursday thread   (google.com) divider line
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102 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 Jan 2021 at 6:05 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-27 11:22:10 PM  
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2021-01-27 11:24:02 PM  
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2021-01-28 12:23:24 AM  
Marjorie Taylor-Greene

That's the joke and it's God awful.
 
2021-01-28 1:31:13 AM  
I had an actual Dad tell me this one today:

Why did the dinosaur get a ticket?

He was illegally Jurassically Parked.

I told him to give his kids up for adoption and become the homeless lunatic he was destined to be.
 
2021-01-28 2:06:51 AM  
A patient on the operating table woke up early just as the surgeon was was about to sew him back up. The patient looks at his wound and says, "Hey doc, Can I close?" The doctor shrugs and says, "Suture self".
 
2021-01-28 5:25:21 AM  
Blondie made some great songs, although most were subatomic.
 
2021-01-28 5:56:04 AM  
I found out today that the hockey team from Toronto is completely fictional. I know, I was fooled too, but it turns out it was all mapleleafs.
 
2021-01-28 5:57:00 AM  
Two turbines in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favourite type of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."
 
2021-01-28 6:54:25 AM  
What's large, grey and sings the Blues?
Elephants Gerald
 
2021-01-28 7:00:57 AM  
What do you call a stolen Tesla?


An Edison
 
2021-01-28 8:04:18 AM  
Two hydrogen atoms are out drinking. The bar closes and they stagger home.

After a few blocks the first hydrogen atom says, "Oh shiat! I left my electron back at the bar!"

The second hydrogen atom says, "Are you sure?"

The first hydrogen atom says, "Yes, I'm positive!"
 
2021-01-28 8:06:43 AM  
Two aliens are catching up. The first alien says, "So I had lunch at that new restaurant on the moon."

The second alien says, "How was it?"

The first alien says, "The food was OK but there was no atmosphere."
 
2021-01-28 8:41:55 AM  
A man walks into a bar.

The bartender looks up, winces, and says "Man, that must have hurt."
 
2021-01-28 8:55:56 AM  
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey. Then I turned myself around.
 
2021-01-28 8:59:47 AM  

Pista: What's large, grey and sings the Blues?
Elephants Gerald


Sounds more like skat jazz to me, but ok.
 
2021-01-28 9:04:37 AM  
i1.wp.comView Full Size

/ok, this made me chuckle.
 
2021-01-28 9:45:59 AM  
Q:  How many children did the Irish Ent have?

A: Six in all, tree sons and tree daughters, and they're just a blessing.

/May have seen this on Fark yesterday somewhere
//Wife who speaks Irish added the blessing bit in retelling it to our kids
 
2021-01-28 10:17:38 AM  
You hear 2 antennas got married ...
The reception was great !
 
2021-01-28 10:48:58 AM  
A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink. As he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, "That shirt looks great on you!"

The man looks around, doesn't see anything, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, "You seem like a really cool guy!"

Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, wondering if he should get checked out by a professional. Finally, when his nerves have cooled and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, "I bet your parents are really proud of you!"

He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender. He says, "Hey barkeep! What's that voice I keep hearing?"

"Oh, those are the peanuts," the bartender replies. "They're complimentary."
 
2021-01-28 1:47:47 PM  
How do farmers count their cattle?

With a cowculator.
 
2021-01-28 2:22:20 PM  
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
 
2021-01-28 10:41:13 PM  
A termite walks into a bar. Nobody acknowledges his presence. He pulls up a stool, bangs on the counter, and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
 
2021-01-29 4:23:32 AM  
Remember, the cheapest cut of venison you can buy is the testicles.
They're just under a buck.
 
2021-01-29 12:01:59 PM  
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
 
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