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(Slate)   "My husband won't stop criticizing and yelling at our 8 year-old son about basketball. How can I get him to stop?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Murica, Black people, White people, Racism, Race, lot of people of color, 8-year-old son's basketball team, young kids, United Kingdom  
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266 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 27 Jan 2021 at 7:54 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-26 10:28:37 PM  
middle fingers, skate boards...
 
2021-01-26 10:37:01 PM  
Kick him
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2021-01-26 10:41:03 PM  
T him up.
 
2021-01-26 10:49:44 PM  
                                          Yeah, sounds like dad has a....
Space Jam - Basketball Jones clip
Youtube mWeII9xkTnw
 
2021-01-26 10:52:34 PM  
Tell him to man up, stop being a little biatch, and execute his parental duties with some GODDAMN MOTHERF*CKING COMPASSION.

*ROID SCREAM*
 
2021-01-26 11:07:03 PM  
Tell him that he doesn't 'have' to play even though his dad is yelling at him.
 
2021-01-27 1:01:36 AM  
Beat his ass with a baseball bat. That, or keep hitting him in the face with a basketball. He needs a proper ass beating.
 
2021-01-27 2:49:20 AM  
Paging the Great Santini.
 
2021-01-27 3:15:56 AM  
The Fast Show - Comptetitive Dad -6- Tennis
Youtube E9bijpK9wPs
 
2021-01-27 3:30:24 AM  
cdn.bleacherreport.netView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 6:11:32 AM  
Get the kid into a sport that dad knows nothing about.
 
2021-01-27 6:22:31 AM  
These things are usually worked out on the third date as you agree to split a piece of pie for dessert.
 
2021-01-27 7:07:11 AM  
Maybe your kid should stop sucking.
 
2021-01-27 7:20:37 AM  

pxlboy: Beat his ass with a baseball bat. That, or keep hitting him in the face with a basketball. He needs a proper ass beating.


Your husband or your son?
 
2021-01-27 7:39:37 AM  
Tell him to get over his own basketball failures and stop living vicariously through his son. Then don't beat him with the baseball bat, do butt stuff to him with it.
 
2021-01-27 8:04:51 AM  

Thrakkorzog: Get the kid into a sport that dad knows nothing about.


Great advice. I helped coach my son in baseball, football, wrestling and soccer. Soccer was my favorite because it was the one the parents didn't think they knew more about than the coach.
 
2021-01-27 8:18:31 AM  
Tell your kid to get better.
 
2021-01-27 8:19:09 AM  
Depends on when he can get onto a Big Ten team, and then get drafted into the NBA, now don't it?
 
2021-01-27 8:21:04 AM  
Butt stuff.
 
2021-01-27 8:22:14 AM  

pxlboy: Beat his ass with a baseball bat. That, or keep hitting him in the face with a basketball. He needs a proper ass beating.


Go with the ball bat
Better control
Jussayin
 
2021-01-27 8:33:45 AM  
It always shocked me how toxic Juvie sports parents were when mine were little. I finally knew why my mother would never let me play.
 
2021-01-27 8:47:12 AM  
Take a video of the screaming, post it online and tag a bunch of compassionate NBA players.

People don't have enough to do these days, so it'll go viral. Watch a new movement of positivity and encouragement around kids' sports get started, with your husband as the primary villain.

Hopefully fame treats you better than marriage.
 
2021-01-27 8:52:19 AM  
I played every youth sport.  There wasn't a season when I wasn't playing, and sometimes more than one sport at a time.  I actually loved it, but I still regard the youth sports treatment in this country to be bonkers.  Now that my kid is playing soccer, I'm suddenly aware that a good number of parents are under the impression that their kid has the potential to be a pro.  Hilarious.  The odds of any random kid turning pro are somewhere between 0 and 0.0000001.

Freakonomics: Here's Why You're Not an Elite Athlete (Ep. 351)
 
2021-01-27 8:53:33 AM  

Mugato: Tell him to get over his own basketball failures and stop living vicariously through his son. Then don't beat him with the baseball bat, do butt stuff to him with it.


Then shove the shiat-stained baseball bat in his mouth to make him STFU.
 
2021-01-27 8:56:28 AM  
Tell him that if he wants his son to hate him and basketball, then he's accomplishing his goal.

Patrick O'Sullivan wrote a book about growing up with an abusive hockey father (Breaking Away: A Harrowing True Story of Resilience, Courage and Triumph). Give this abusive father that book to read, maybe it will get him to realize what he's doing.
 
2021-01-27 9:00:01 AM  
Ask your kid to pass you the ball. Throw it as hard as you can at your husband"s face. When it bounces back to you (and his hands are covering his face), throw it at his junk.

Toss the ball back to the kid and say "good game" before walking away.
 
2021-01-27 10:00:37 AM  
Make him play football
 
2021-01-27 10:14:22 AM  
Your kid doesn't want you to monitor his sports skills. Trust me.
 
2021-01-27 10:34:18 AM  

Iowan73: Thrakkorzog: Get the kid into a sport that dad knows nothing about.

Great advice. I helped coach my son in baseball, football, wrestling and soccer. Soccer was my favorite because it was the one the parents didn't think they knew more about than the coach.


Hockey.
 
2021-01-27 10:39:04 AM  
The second story is entertaining and pathetic.  The parent doesn't know what to do about their kids second grader neighbor friend coming over and destroying things and causing trouble.
 
2021-01-27 10:58:11 AM  
Taser his balls?
 
2021-01-27 10:58:48 AM  
I went to high school with a kid like that.  His father was a coach, was great with other kids, but brutal with his own son.  One night after a horrible game his father berated him in front of the team and called him an f'in lowlife loser.  The kid hung himself in the basement three days later.

The father was never the same.  Quit coaching, buried himself in a bottle and died at 51 from cirrhosis.
 
2021-01-27 11:02:44 AM  

Mugato: Tell him to get over his own basketball failures and stop living vicariously through his son. Then don't beat him with the baseball bat, do butt stuff to him with it.


Kid I went to high school with's dad was the basketball coach. Kid was, unsurprisingly, the "star" player. Said kid didn't get a scholarship and is now a college coach...and weighs 400lbs.

When you emotionally scar a kid, they're gonna take a sharp left when you're aiming for a gentle right.
 
2021-01-27 12:20:48 PM  
I never had a gym teacher in middle or high school who wasn't farked in the head or if female, a lesbian (and not the fun kind. NTTAWWT).
 
2021-01-27 12:38:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 1:12:09 PM  
Worst part is the kid's a chess player.
 
2021-01-27 4:35:23 PM  
YOU ARE A BIG MAN. BIG MAN!
 
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