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(YouTube)   Today from the files of "Why would you do this to yourself?" A man tries every Lunchables product he could find, 21 of them in fact (NSFW Language)   (youtube.com) divider line
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280 clicks; posted to Food » on 27 Jan 2021 at 12:41 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2021-01-26 8:15:17 PM  
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2021-01-26 8:51:11 PM  
Lunchables are nothing more than a meal tax on the terminally lazy.

/I'm on my third.
//In the last hour.
 
2021-01-26 8:52:03 PM  
Did he sear the roof of his mouth with those lava brownies they pack in ?
 
2021-01-26 9:41:54 PM  
Over the past few months I have tried every flavor and style of David sunflower seeds.
 
2021-01-26 10:03:04 PM  

RosevilleDan: Over the past few months I have tried every flavor and style of David sunflower seeds.


David's are fine, but Bigs is where it's at.
 
2021-01-26 10:32:11 PM  
On the plus side, that kid has now ingested enough preservatives that they won't have to embalm him when he dies.
 
2021-01-27 12:13:13 AM  
That's one hell of a Youtube channel he's got there.
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2021-01-27 12:45:46 AM  
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2021-01-27 12:51:26 AM  
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Let's get this out on to a tray.

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Nice.
 
2021-01-27 1:30:34 AM  

Professor Science: [Fark user image 225x224]

Let's get this out on to a tray.

[Fark user image 225x224]

Nice.


Crackers hogging up the available space?  Lunchables proudly introduces the new metaphor pack...
 
2021-01-27 1:38:00 AM  

I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That: [Fark user image 245x245] [View Full Size image _x_]


(a.) lol! (2.) you are a rare sight over-hyeah in foodtab, mon frere!

PainInTheASP: Lunchables are nothing more than a meal tax on the terminally lazy.

/I'm on my third.
//In the last hour.


oddly, Dollar Tree has a surprising selection of Lunchables - so it's sort of convenient for the wife? I don't think they have as many as 21 kinds, but maybe like 4 or 5? also they stock some other, different brand, I think it might be Armour?
 
2021-01-27 2:24:51 AM  
OMFG i don't even want to think of the total amount of sodium in that many lunchables.   Mind he is only trying them not eating them all so he will live through it.
 
2021-01-27 2:45:04 AM  

grimlock1972: OMFG i don't even want to think of the total amount of sodium in that many lunchables.   Mind he is only trying them not eating them all so he will live through it.


that's really the main thing I gots agin' 'em.

well, that, and really the only vegulon-adjacent versions are literally "chimps'n'salsa" and 'cheese "pizza" '

ya think they woulda branched out into the fake-meats by now, that's, like, a bigly-yuge untapped market!

and, even for only $1 at the dollar store, that's... even then... honestly? that is still sort of a rip.

box of triscuit-thins: $2.
2lb. of halfway-decent cheese: $3.
tub of tzatziki or hummus: $2.
1lb baby carrots: $1.
5-pack vegulon hotdogs: $3.

there's mah lunchables, right thar. still, quite a fair amount of sodium in that.

altho', for the wife, what's "convenient" is the zero-prep and exact portioning. so she can snack and not over-eat, and easily know exactly how many WW "points" there is.

(but, lol, I only found out yesterday from her, that people on different WW "plans" ...have different points numbers for the exact same foodstuffs??? the hell is that even sa'sposed to work?! that thing is such a weird scam, I can't even begin to explain their other constant oddities...)
 
2021-01-27 3:01:24 AM  
I did that as a child. It was called daily elementary school lunches. But we didn't have YouTube back then, so it wasn't noteworthy.
 
2021-01-27 3:24:27 AM  

You Die!: I did that as a child. It was called daily elementary school lunches. But we didn't have YouTube back then, so it wasn't noteworthy.


I mean, some of us do still obsess over the hexagonal goodness that is "Messican" pizza. and even the crizappy rectangle pizza with those cubes of horrific mystery-snausage. and the chocolate-topped peanut  butter bars! (altho' those always cost 25c extra, and usually I barely had even the 10c to pay for the actual lunch my subsidized dirt-poor-lunch-punchcard.)

mmm, orange push-pops, and also "icee juicee" in those weird prism-shaped tetrapaks.

and, lol, one of the dinner ladies was also my schoolbus-driver. which, she allowed us to call her by first-name. but only on the bus, apparently. me (one day in the cafeteria, recognizing her) - "ohai, aren't you Barb?" - her: (angrily) - "no, my name is Mrs. XYZ." - ha ha ha!

/ah, good times, good times
//but yeah, the ut00bz would have been an entirely alien concept
///and the attention-whoring as well
 
2021-01-27 4:19:33 AM  
That dude will be dead in 5 days of COVID-35. Someone I knew use to work at a place that made them. Snot and spit are all over them. Kraft and its third party manufactures give them out to employees at the end of the shift, and don't care if you eat them on the line, because they have a better chance of catching a recall before it hit the public.
/You really think the guy with a full face tattoo and multiple violent felonies give one fark about cleanliness?
 
2021-01-27 4:21:16 AM  
BTW: Prison food that been sitting in the toilet to keep cool, is less harmless
 
2021-01-27 5:06:40 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: That dude will be dead in 5 days of COVID-35. Someone I knew use to work at a place that made them. Snot and spit are all over them. Kraft and its third party manufactures give them out to employees at the end of the shift, and don't care if you eat them on the line, because they have a better chance of catching a recall before it hit the public.



well that's... not terrifying at all. wow!

/actually not-surprising in the least
//heart attack and die
///from not-surprise
 
2021-01-27 5:27:14 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: That dude will be dead in 5 days of COVID-35. Someone I knew use to work at a place that made them. Snot and spit are all over them. Kraft and its third party manufactures give them out to employees at the end of the shift, and don't care if you eat them on the line, because they have a better chance of catching a recall before it hit the public.
/You really think the guy with a full face tattoo and multiple violent felonies give one fark about cleanliness?


I haven't eaten them since 1990, but that may explain why I topped out at 5'8".
 
2021-01-27 5:49:15 AM  

NINEv2: drjekel_mrhyde: That dude will be dead in 5 days of COVID-35. Someone I knew use to work at a place that made them. Snot and spit are all over them. Kraft and its third party manufactures give them out to employees at the end of the shift, and don't care if you eat them on the line, because they have a better chance of catching a recall before it hit the public.
/You really think the guy with a full face tattoo and multiple violent felonies give one fark about cleanliness?

I haven't eaten them since 1990, but that may explain why I topped out at 5'8".


good lord, has it really been around for that long? (or, I suppose, longer?)

earlier, I was almost curious to go *tapatap* up the history of the stuff, but then I realized, "wait, actually... I no1curr"

(I do also remember being very jealous of the kids who had them, so there may be a sour-grapes aspect going on, lol)
 
2021-01-27 5:56:25 AM  

tintar: NINEv2: drjekel_mrhyde: That dude will be dead in 5 days of COVID-35. Someone I knew use to work at a place that made them. Snot and spit are all over them. Kraft and its third party manufactures give them out to employees at the end of the shift, and don't care if you eat them on the line, because they have a better chance of catching a recall before it hit the public.
/You really think the guy with a full face tattoo and multiple violent felonies give one fark about cleanliness?

I haven't eaten them since 1990, but that may explain why I topped out at 5'8".

good lord, has it really been around for that long? (or, I suppose, longer?)

earlier, I was almost curious to go *tapatap* up the history of the stuff, but then I realized, "wait, actually... I no1curr"

(I do also remember being very jealous of the kids who had them, so there may be a sour-grapes aspect going on, lol)


Weirdly tangential... my Moms packed me off to elementary school with those things almost daily at $2 a pop. 5-9 years later, senior year I was still getting $2 a day in '96.

/how else was I going to pay for my marb reds?
//damn that sounds douchey
///three bucks please?
 
2021-01-27 6:53:15 AM  
I tried them as a teen when I was a tourist in USA. Very interesting.

But I found the cracker ratio to be completely off. 2 crackers and one slice of "cheese". So, you have 3/4 of your meat and "cheese" left, and just had to throw it away.

Such a waste.


Watching this now, I knew about American "cheese", as a result of WW2 rationing. But Swiss? I assume it's the same, with less colouring?

Prior to that, I thought Americans used the term Swiss for actual real cheese, if it has holes in it.
 
2021-01-27 7:22:46 AM  

Ketchuponsteak: I tried them as a teen when I was a tourist in USA. Very interesting.

But I found the cracker ratio to be completely off. 2 crackers and one slice of "cheese". So, you have 3/4 of your meat and "cheese" left, and just had to throw it away.

Such a waste.


Watching this now, I knew about American "cheese", as a result of WW2 rationing. But Swiss? I assume it's the same, with less colouring?

Prior to that, I thought Americans used the term Swiss for actual real cheese, if it has holes in it.


You realize that you can still eat the meat and cheese after you run out of crackers, right?
 
2021-01-27 7:31:03 AM  

RosevilleDan: Over the past few months I have tried every flavor and style of David sunflower seeds.


Last year I found green tea pumpkin seeds at as Asian market.
They were pretty good.
 
2021-01-27 7:32:23 AM  

Ketchuponsteak: I tried them as a teen when I was a tourist in USA. Very interesting.

But I found the cracker ratio to be completely off. 2 crackers and one slice of "cheese". So, you have 3/4 of your meat and "cheese" left, and just had to throw it away.

Such a waste.

Watching this now, I knew about American "cheese", as a result of WW2 rationing. But Swiss? I assume it's the same, with less colouring?

Prior to that, I thought Americans used the term Swiss for actual real cheese, if it has holes in it.


yeah, it was a generic catch-all term for our vague analogue/interpretation of stuff like Emmenthal/Gruyere/Jarlsberg - basicamente any stinky stuff with holes in it?

I don't plan to WTFV, so I don't know what was said about "Swiss" - but it may-well/very-likely could have been some "process"-"cheese" abomination, given the nature of lunchables.

"American" cheese, I'm used to 2 main versions - the Velveeta/Kraft-singles style nonsense, and then stuff like Land'o'Lakes deli bricks. the latter, being actual-factual real non-processed cheese - it's still very 'Murican, but also still 100x better than the fake (oil+goop based) stuff.

(not that I would ever turn up my nose at a Kraft-single on an egg sammich, or in a grilled-cheese, lol. childhood comfort foods, nostalgia is one helluva thing, man.)
 
2021-01-27 7:33:19 AM  

PainInTheASP: Ketchuponsteak: I tried them as a teen when I was a tourist in USA. Very interesting.

But I found the cracker ratio to be completely off. 2 crackers and one slice of "cheese". So, you have 3/4 of your meat and "cheese" left, and just had to throw it away.

Such a waste.


Watching this now, I knew about American "cheese", as a result of WW2 rationing. But Swiss? I assume it's the same, with less colouring?

Prior to that, I thought Americans used the term Swiss for actual real cheese, if it has holes in it.

You realize that you can still eat the meat and cheese after you run out of crackers, right?


wait, WHAT??!?

/go on, pull the other one!
 
2021-01-27 8:01:40 AM  

PainInTheASP: Ketchuponsteak: I tried them as a teen when I was a tourist in USA. Very interesting.

But I found the cracker ratio to be completely off. 2 crackers and one slice of "cheese". So, you have 3/4 of your meat and "cheese" left, and just had to throw it away.

Such a waste.


Watching this now, I knew about American "cheese", as a result of WW2 rationing. But Swiss? I assume it's the same, with less colouring?

Prior to that, I thought Americans used the term Swiss for actual real cheese, if it has holes in it.

You realize that you can still eat the meat and cheese after you run out of crackers, right?


Yeah, I guessed the customers of the product were like that.

But a pity, crackers aren't expensive.
 
2021-01-27 8:49:26 AM  
Still better than Nutraloaf.


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2021-01-27 9:03:40 AM  

PainInTheASP: You realize that you can still eat the meat and cheese after you run out of crackers, right?


Somebody White Knighting Lunchables.

Stop the world please, I've reached the end of the internet/civilization.
 
2021-01-27 10:54:46 AM  
Pepperoni Pizza Lunchables or GTFO.
 
2021-01-27 11:16:03 AM  

ThomasPaineTrain: RosevilleDan: Over the past few months I have tried every flavor and style of David sunflower seeds.

David's are fine, but Bigs is where it's at.


Spitz. That is all.
 
2021-01-27 3:22:30 PM  
I am, in solidarity with this man, going to sample every vodka in my fridge.
 
2021-01-27 3:40:30 PM  

Publikwerks: I am, in solidarity with this man, going to sample every vodka in my fridge.


I applaud your True Fark Spirit!!!
 
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