Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Newsweek)   If you think the pandemic farked us in the butt, just wait until you see the cure   (newsweek.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Beijing, Respiratory system, anal swabs, Hebei, coronavirus testing, rectal nucleic acid swabs, Health authorities, China's state broadcaster CCTV  
•       •       •

6690 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2021 at 12:05 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



104 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-01-26 6:11:41 PM  
A modern day swabbing of the the poop deck me mateys, arrrrr , arrrrrr, arrrrrrr. Shiver me timbers, it's better than bein' a scurvy dog.
 
2021-01-26 6:27:09 PM  
Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

nme.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-26 9:39:27 PM  
Sure, you are *testing* for COVID, but what about spreading other poop diseases?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-26 10:02:00 PM  
Only 89K deaths? That sounds like more Chinese government bullshiat.
 
2021-01-27 12:08:12 AM  
Let me guess, you're not really here for the testing?
 
2021-01-27 12:08:39 AM  

dv-ous: Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

[nme.com image 850x539]


Robert Smith needs to just shave his head at this point. It's nothing but a fire hazard.
 
2021-01-27 12:10:19 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:11:41 AM  
That's a whole new definition of wet market
 
2021-01-27 12:13:14 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:15:22 AM  
I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.
 
2021-01-27 12:15:59 AM  
What?  What?
 
2021-01-27 12:17:10 AM  
I'd love to see this done as a drive through testing clinic.
 
2021-01-27 12:17:59 AM  
UCIA?
 
2021-01-27 12:18:19 AM  
"Hi, sir, please remove your pants and place your cheeks on these white markers in the window and we'll get that swab done before you know it."

d.newsweek.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:19:40 AM  
That could prove awkward at drive through testing sites.
 
2021-01-27 12:20:54 AM  

dv-ous: Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

[nme.com image 850x539]


At first I was like "What the fark is going on with his hand?"

Then I was like "Oh, it's a trophy."
 
2021-01-27 12:21:39 AM  

morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.


Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.
 
2021-01-27 12:23:36 AM  

aagrajag: morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.

Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.


"Oh, Mr. aagrajag, you're going to have to stop hanging out in crowds. This is the third test you've come in for today!"
 
2021-01-27 12:24:22 AM  

dyhchong: aagrajag: morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.

Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.

"Oh, Mr. aagrajag, you're going to have to stop hanging out in crowds. This is the third test you've come in for today!"


I knew I had that response coming, but that was impressively quick.
 
2021-01-27 12:25:07 AM  
To quote Soulkeeper, nothing's going up my ass tonight, I am in no mood.
 
2021-01-27 12:25:19 AM  

aagrajag: dyhchong: aagrajag: morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.

Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.

"Oh, Mr. aagrajag, you're going to have to stop hanging out in crowds. This is the third test you've come in for today!"

I knew I had that response coming, but that was impressively quick.


I can assure you the Covid butt tests I give take a lot longer.
 
2021-01-27 12:25:36 AM  
So yet again the answer is butt stuff?
 
2021-01-27 12:25:53 AM  

morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.


How's that different than any other night?
 
2021-01-27 12:26:29 AM  

dyhchong: aagrajag: dyhchong: aagrajag: morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.

Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.

"Oh, Mr. aagrajag, you're going to have to stop hanging out in crowds. This is the third test you've come in for today!"

I knew I had that response coming, but that was impressively quick.

I can assure you the Covid butt tests I give take a lot longer.


*backs away slowly*
 
2021-01-27 12:27:09 AM  
Butters - What, What in The Butt (Official Music Video) - SOUTH PARK
Youtube G4PvTrTp7Tc

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:27:19 AM  
I'm all for better tests, but their insistence on putting both hands on my shoulders feels a little intrusive.
 
2021-01-27 12:31:31 AM  
Don't threaten me with a good time.
 
2021-01-27 12:31:45 AM  
worshipthebrand.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:33:02 AM  
Just to be thorough, we're gonna go ahead and do 'em all.
This one goes in your butt
Youtube h6H9VuS5zDw
 
2021-01-27 12:33:27 AM  

Wendigogo: dv-ous: Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

[nme.com image 850x539]

Robert Smith needs to just shave his head at this point. It's nothing but a fire hazard.


He's looked Terrible ever since he went through menopause.
 
2021-01-27 12:37:51 AM  
What do you do for a living?
Stick Q-tips up people's butts.
That's nasty!
/Still not as bad when your grandpa worked at the Glory Hole in the Korean war
 
2021-01-27 12:44:19 AM  
I just knew this was going to come down to them getting in our butts somehow
 
2021-01-27 12:44:41 AM  
COVID testing, serious business...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:49:07 AM  

aagrajag: morg: I've heard the nose is pretty uncomfortable. My friend had a bad nose bleed. I think I'd rather do the butt q-tip. Have a couple beers, light some candles, put on some music, then stick a q-tip up my butt.

Seriously, everything I've heard about the nasal swab sounds slightly terrifying. I'd go for the butt route, given the option.


Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:51:52 AM  

iodized attic salt: What?  What?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:52:17 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 12:54:06 AM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Wendigogo: dv-ous: Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

[nme.com image 850x539]

Robert Smith needs to just shave his head at this point. It's nothing but a fire hazard.

He's looked Terrible ever since he went through menopause.


The same for Steven Tyler...They both aged into Eastern European Babushka's..
 
2021-01-27 12:56:02 AM  
So, um...

Why are women attracted to men's butts? What exactly do they want to do with them?

Be explicit.
 
2021-01-27 12:56:28 AM  
"According to guidelines published by China's National Health Commission, anal swabs are to be administered 3 to 5 centimeters (1.2 to 2 inches) inside the rectum. The swab is to be rotated and removed before being securely placed inside a sample container."
 
2021-01-27 12:58:19 AM  
Fuck you in the ass (commercial)
Youtube Nr_bizbxTiU

This music must be playing on repeat at the clinic
 
2021-01-27 12:58:31 AM  
Soon we may be well and done
They'll test for covid and swab our bums
One day when the tonguin' is done
we'll take our leave and go
 
2021-01-27 1:00:43 AM  

a particular individual: So, um...

Why are women attracted to men's butts? What exactly do they want to do with them?

Be explicit.


I asked this of my wife once, and she could not be more specific than "it looks cute".

To be fair, one can find just about any body part attractive without necessarily wanting to f*ck it.
 
2021-01-27 1:03:25 AM  

a particular individual: So, um...

Why are women attracted to men's butts? What exactly do they want to do with them?

Be explicit.


Fark is not your personal erotica site!
 
2021-01-27 1:06:21 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 1:06:22 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-27 1:11:35 AM  
2-5 centimeters is only up to the 2nd knuckle, so about as far as you need to go for a suppository.  I can handle that.
 
2021-01-27 1:14:07 AM  

aagrajag: a particular individual: So, um...

Why are women attracted to men's butts? What exactly do they want to do with them?

Be explicit.

I asked this of my wife once, and she could not be more specific than "it looks cute".

To be fair, one can find just about any body part attractive without necessarily wanting to f*ck it.


That would be a weird Venn diagram.
 
2021-01-27 1:16:54 AM  

buserror: [Fark user image 500x375]


pa1.narvii.comView Full Size


I'll see your suppository and raise you two mega seeds.
 
2021-01-27 1:19:00 AM  

a particular individual: So, um...

Why are women attracted to men's butts? What exactly do they want to do with them?

Be explicit.


You should ask Peggy.
 
2021-01-27 1:19:20 AM  

dv-ous: Pretty sure COVID isn't the only thing wrong with these guys.

[nme.com image 850x539]


media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
Displayed 50 of 104 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.