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(Merriam-Webster)   The Merriam-Webster word of the day for January 25 is 'optimization' as in: "The Autobots early battles with the Decepticons were not successful until the later optimization of making their leader Optimus Prime"   (merriam-webster.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Search engine optimization, best possible functionality, 19th-century English, search engine optimization, good things, 21st century, much use, basic applications  
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502 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2021 at 7:15 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-01-25 7:19:19 PM  
Two friends are out hunting turkeys. They get separated and one man accidentally shoots the other. The shooter calls 911 in a panic.  "Hello 9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The guy says "I think I killed my friend! What should I do??" The 911 operator responds "Calm down sir, the first thing is to make sure he's dead." There is silence, and then a gunshot. "Okay, now what?"
 
2021-01-25 7:21:29 PM  
A man is siting on his porch waiting for the mailman. The dog is by his feet, licking itself.

The mailman arrives, hands the guy his mail, and gesturing to the dog, remarks, "Gee, I wish I could do that."

"He'll bite you"
 
2021-01-25 7:30:52 PM  
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2021-01-25 7:44:32 PM  
A circus does a show in a small town. Afterward, one of the elephants escapes. Hungry, it roams a dirt road looking for food. The elephant finds a cabbage patch near a house, starts eating.

The old man who lives in the house is roused by noise. He cracks the blinds, squints. He calls the cops.

"Someone's cow done got loose," he says. "The damn thing's digging up my cabbages with its tail."

"What's the cow doing with the cabbages, sir?"

"Reckon I'd rather not say."
 
2021-01-25 7:59:01 PM  
Optimization? OptiMIzation!? OptiYOUzation, buster!

/ Pesci-itis.
 
2021-01-25 8:07:50 PM  
Many years ago, I was waiting for a train in Tokyo and I looked at a vending machine, as I sometimes do. There was a normal sized can of Coke 350 ml. It was 100 yen. Right next to it was a can that, I think, was 200 ml, about half the size. It was also 100 yen.

It blew my mind. Who would buy that????

I watched the machine for another 10 minutes. A guy came up, bought the smaller can, and walked away.

I asked someone about it later that day. A Japanese person. She said, "You know. Sometimes you don't want to drink a whole can, so you are stuck with half a can of stuff you don't want."

Americans are taught from birth that optimization is the same as maximization. MORE MORE MORE! Bigger batteries! Bigger Cars. FASTER cars. Mo money. 6 million dollar man BETTER STRONGER FASTER.

Optimum.... the degree or condition producing the most favorable result.

Do we need more to get the most favorable result? The guy stocking that coke machine knew more about wisdom and human nature than ... most of humanity living today. He and a few others are optimizing while everyone else is maximizing.

Free refills anyone?
 
2021-01-25 8:08:26 PM  
At least try to do it right. For example...

Ms. Johnson's 4th grade class is in session. She normally begins with a "Word of the Day" exercise, where she gives the class a word and then asks for volunteers to use the word in a properly formed sentence.

Today's word is "fascinate."

Immediately hands go up. Ms. Johnson sees that Dirty Johnny has raised his hand, but she knows better than to call on him, as he's infamous for his bawdy answers. Instead, she calls on Polly.

Ms. Johnson: "Go ahead, Polly."

Polly: "The tropical fish at the City Aquarium always fascinate me."

Ms.Johnson: That's an excellent use of the word, Polly. Who's next?"

The class again raises their hands enthusiastically and she again avoids Dirty Johnny and calls on Markus instead...

Markus: "Today's video games facinate me, with their improved graphics and performance."

Ms. Johnson: "Wonderful, Markus! Another great answer. OK, one more..."

At this point, Dirty Johnny is nearly jumping out of his chair trying to get her attention. How could he possibly use "fascinate" improperly, she wondered. After a few seconds contemplating, she couldn't think of a potential twist, so she finally relented and called on Johnny...

Dirty Johnny: "My sister has a big ol' pink bra, with 10 clasps on the front, but her tits are so goddamn big, she can only fasten eight!"
 
2021-01-25 8:12:12 PM  

2fardownthread: Many years ago, I was waiting for a train in Tokyo and I looked at a vending machine, as I sometimes do. There was a normal sized can of Coke 350 ml. It was 100 yen. Right next to it was a can that, I think, was 200 ml, about half the size. It was also 100 yen.

It blew my mind. Who would buy that????

I watched the machine for another 10 minutes. A guy came up, bought the smaller can, and walked away.

I asked someone about it later that day. A Japanese person. She said, "You know. Sometimes you don't want to drink a whole can, so you are stuck with half a can of stuff you don't want."

Americans are taught from birth that optimization is the same as maximization. MORE MORE MORE! Bigger batteries! Bigger Cars. FASTER cars. Mo money. 6 million dollar man BETTER STRONGER FASTER.

Optimum.... the degree or condition producing the most favorable result.

Do we need more to get the most favorable result? The guy stocking that coke machine knew more about wisdom and human nature than ... most of humanity living today. He and a few others are optimizing while everyone else is maximizing.

Free refills anyone?


Me Japanese, me play joke, me charge the same for a smaller Coke.

/ Got nothin'
 
2021-01-25 8:13:09 PM  

2fardownthread: Many years ago, I was waiting for a train in Tokyo and I looked at a vending machine, as I sometimes do. There was a normal sized can of Coke 350 ml. It was 100 yen. Right next to it was a can that, I think, was 200 ml, about half the size. It was also 100 yen.

It blew my mind. Who would buy that????

I watched the machine for another 10 minutes. A guy came up, bought the smaller can, and walked away.

I asked someone about it later that day. A Japanese person. She said, "You know. Sometimes you don't want to drink a whole can, so you are stuck with half a can of stuff you don't want."

Americans are taught from birth that optimization is the same as maximization. MORE MORE MORE! Bigger batteries! Bigger Cars. FASTER cars. Mo money. 6 million dollar man BETTER STRONGER FASTER.

Optimum.... the degree or condition producing the most favorable result.

Do we need more to get the most favorable result? The guy stocking that coke machine knew more about wisdom and human nature than ... most of humanity living today. He and a few others are optimizing while everyone else is maximizing.

Free refills anyone?


Sorry, I want that full can of Coke, so your lesson about the magic of Japan is lost on me.

Now tell us the one about how they stock the panty vending machines with the underwear of small, younger women because people sometimes just want small panties, not a whole pair like an adult would wear.
 
2021-01-25 8:14:25 PM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: At least try to do it right. For example...

Ms. Johnson's 4th grade class is in session. She normally begins with a "Word of the Day" exercise, where she gives the class a word and then asks for volunteers to use the word in a properly formed sentence.

Today's word is "fascinate."

Immediately hands go up. Ms. Johnson sees that Dirty Johnny has raised his hand, but she knows better than to call on him, as he's infamous for his bawdy answers. Instead, she calls on Polly.

Ms. Johnson: "Go ahead, Polly."

Polly: "The tropical fish at the City Aquarium always fascinate me."

Ms.Johnson: That's an excellent use of the word, Polly. Who's next?"

The class again raises their hands enthusiastically and she again avoids Dirty Johnny and calls on Markus instead...

Markus: "Today's video games facinate me, with their improved graphics and performance."

Ms. Johnson: "Wonderful, Markus! Another great answer. OK, one more..."

At this point, Dirty Johnny is nearly jumping out of his chair trying to get her attention. How could he possibly use "fascinate" improperly, she wondered. After a few seconds contemplating, she couldn't think of a potential twist, so she finally relented and called on Johnny...

Dirty Johnny: "My sister has a big ol' pink bra, with 10 clasps on the front, but her tits are so goddamn big, she can only fasten eight!"


That was F-A-R better than any of these word-of-the-day headlines have ever been.
 
2021-01-25 8:38:49 PM  

Mikey1969: 2fardownthread: Many years ago, I was waiting for a train in Tokyo and I looked at a vending machine, as I sometimes do. There was a normal sized can of Coke 350 ml. It was 100 yen. Right next to it was a can that, I think, was 200 ml, about half the size. It was also 100 yen.

It blew my mind. Who would buy that????

I watched the machine for another 10 minutes. A guy came up, bought the smaller can, and walked away.

I asked someone about it later that day. A Japanese person. She said, "You know. Sometimes you don't want to drink a whole can, so you are stuck with half a can of stuff you don't want."

Americans are taught from birth that optimization is the same as maximization. MORE MORE MORE! Bigger batteries! Bigger Cars. FASTER cars. Mo money. 6 million dollar man BETTER STRONGER FASTER.

Optimum.... the degree or condition producing the most favorable result.

Do we need more to get the most favorable result? The guy stocking that coke machine knew more about wisdom and human nature than ... most of humanity living today. He and a few others are optimizing while everyone else is maximizing.

Free refills anyone?

Sorry, I want that full can of Coke, so your lesson about the magic of Japan is lost on me.

Now tell us the one about how they stock the panty vending machines with the underwear of small, younger women because people sometimes just want small panties, not a whole pair like an adult would wear.


they're not bought for wearing.
 
2021-01-25 10:26:10 PM  
On Dictionary.com the word of the day is 'ad hockery' a reliance on TemporaRy solUtions rather than on consistent, long-terM Plans.
 
2021-01-25 10:37:43 PM  
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