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(Axios)   "Jesus was dead for three days before he was resurrected. Never lose hope"   (axios.com) divider line
    More: Followup, White House, Democratic Party, President of the United States, United States Senate, Supporters of former President Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bill Clinton  
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4026 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Jan 2021 at 12:33 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-01-25 9:36:50 AM  
Actually it was about a day and a half. Around 6pm Friday until roughly dawn on Sunday.


To be fair, there have been times when I have accomplished a LOT during that exact timeframe and it felt like 3 days.
 
2021-01-25 9:41:17 AM  
This is very true, and can only mean that any true believer will follow in Jesus' footsteps as a way of demonstrating their true, unshakeable belief in the coming Uprising. You do not have to kill yourself via crucifixion, of course, although that is certainly the Preferred Path if you have the means. But your Return in three days' time shall mark you as one of the True Adherents, a member of the Front Line in the New Fight against the Insurgent Left. There are two possibilities for those of you who do not return. One is that you were only a pretender -- and if that is the case, then you shall have joined the Pedophiles in the Fires of hell. But the other is that you are being held back for something Greater. Something that is only now starting to be Foreseen, something Wonderful. Now go, and Believe.
 
2021-01-25 9:48:06 AM  
Tick tick tick... ding-a-lings!


Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2021-01-25 9:59:12 AM  
Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.
 
2021-01-25 11:52:13 AM  
"The military, law enforcement, fbi, cia, and doj all betrayed their oath to the constitution and the american people," read one top-ranked post on a leading pro-Trump forum.

OK, I'm pretty sure I know how to pronounce "cia" (like the singer) and "doj" (like the truck), but "fbi"?  Is it pronounced something like "fibby" (the opposite of "truthy")?
 
2021-01-25 11:54:20 AM  

koder: Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.


Yeah once we get to day 7, it's safe to say 'e's restin'.  Maybe even pinin' for the fjords.
 
2021-01-25 12:06:41 PM  
It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.
 
2021-01-25 12:24:12 PM  
Pssst. Jesus didn't exist. He was entirely invented by the Flavian dynasty. Sorry, Q. You lose.
 
2021-01-25 12:34:37 PM  
NARRATOR:  He wasn't and he didn't.
 
2021-01-25 12:35:35 PM  
Harry Potter was only dead for maybe an hour.
 
2021-01-25 12:35:43 PM  
simon says luke
 
2021-01-25 12:35:57 PM  

TomFooolery: It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.


News Flash

Many religious people are complete farking idiots.

Details at 11
 
2021-01-25 12:36:04 PM  
...so, what I'm hearing is that in 100 years a bunch of QAnoners are going to take over most of western civilization and destroy all documentation that says Trump lost the 2020 election, which is basically the same thing as him winning it.
 
2021-01-25 12:36:55 PM  
Ketamine's a hell of a drug.
 
2021-01-25 12:37:47 PM  

TomFooolery: It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.


Don't forget that he tear gassed clergy for that photo op as well.

As much as people like to point to Revelation 13:5 fitting Trump (aside from the 42 months thing, but to be fair the Bible really isn't good at measuring specific amounts of time - see the Friday evening to Sunday morning = 3 days thing), the very next verse speaks about the beast profaning God's temple.
 
2021-01-25 12:39:04 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: ...so, what I'm hearing is that in 100 years a bunch of QAnoners are going to take over most of western civilization and destroy all documentation that says Trump lost the 2020 election, which is basically the same thing as him winning it.


Fark all hell if I'm eating Trump wafers and wine to save *anybody's* soul.  I'll burn first, dammit.
 
2021-01-25 12:39:07 PM  
What you are doing, Herr Qanon, is worse than anything we could do.    You are giving the dotard hope.
 
2021-01-25 12:39:35 PM  
QAnon prophecies have failed before - all of them, in fact.

Giving rise to a new phrase: Fervently Stupid.
 
2021-01-25 12:39:40 PM  
Maybe don't fall back on Christian mythology to explain your own bullshiat.
 
2021-01-25 12:39:43 PM  

Pocket Ninja: This is very true, and can only mean that any true believer will follow in Jesus' footsteps as a way of demonstrating their true, unshakeable belief in the coming Uprising. You do not have to kill yourself via crucifixion, of course, although that is certainly the Preferred Path if you have the means. But your Return in three days' time shall mark you as one of the True Adherents, a member of the Front Line in the New Fight against the Insurgent Left. There are two possibilities for those of you who do not return. One is that you were only a pretender -- and if that is the case, then you shall have joined the Pedophiles in the Fires of hell. But the other is that you are being held back for something Greater. Something that is only now starting to be Foreseen, something Wonderful. Now go, and Believe.


I told you I was hardcore.
 
2021-01-25 12:40:26 PM  
If this resulted in mass suicides, I'd be fine with that.

But I anticipate suicide bombings :(
 
2021-01-25 12:41:06 PM  

Astorix: Pssst. Jesus didn't exist. He was entirely invented by the Flavian dynasty. Sorry, Q. You lose.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-01-25 12:41:57 PM  

TomFooolery: It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.


Did Obama hold up a Bible? Did he?!  No. At least Trump held a Bible. The only thing Obama tried to do was help people. And what's Christian about that?!
 
2021-01-25 12:42:11 PM  

xanadian: "The military, law enforcement, fbi, cia, and doj all betrayed their oath to the constitution and the american people," read one top-ranked post on a leading pro-Trump forum.

OK, I'm pretty sure I know how to pronounce "cia" (like the singer) and "doj" (like the truck), but "fbi"?  Is it pronounced something like "fibby" (the opposite of "truthy")?


images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

And I'll never make a song about Fibby.
 
2021-01-25 12:42:49 PM  
Proving the assertion of a Trump Second Term by using the core assertion of Christianity DOES make a very good point.

Just not the one they thought.
 
2021-01-25 12:42:50 PM  
So, a Joanie Loves Chachi spinoff then?
 
2021-01-25 12:42:52 PM  
Meh ... end-of-the-world cults regularly survive and thrive after their prophesied sell-by date.  Well, except for the ones that literally drink the kool-aid.  No reason that the current Q prophesy failure means their demise.
 
2021-01-25 12:43:49 PM  
If this results in some Qnut nailing Trump to a plank of wood to hurry things along I won't complain.
 
2021-01-25 12:43:50 PM  
When was the last Q post?
 
2021-01-25 12:44:04 PM  
Now they think that Trump will come back as president on March 4th.
 
2021-01-25 12:44:36 PM  
And we all know Elvis and JFK are out there living their best lives and running the world, so yeah...everything is going according to plan.
 
2021-01-25 12:45:00 PM  

TomFooolery: It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.


Modern christianity has almost nothing to do with the Christ figure written about in the Bible, and modern christians have developed extremely powerful skills in doublethink to get around the contradictions.  Trump simply weaponized this against the country.
 
2021-01-25 12:45:48 PM  

TomFooolery: It's truly amazing to me that so many ostensibly religious people can idolize Trump- a man who held up a prop bible like he'd never even seen a book before in front of a church he never attended after tear gassing protestors so he could make the walk. And simultaneously think Obama was the antichrist.


Not to me. Makes perfect sense. They don't actually care about the religious beliefs they claim to hold either, religion is just virtue signaling, helping members of the authoritarian fascist segment of our population identify one another and forming an exclusionary group.

The only goals they actually have are to A. seize and hold power by any means necessary and B. to hurt people they don't self-identify with. 100% of everything else is just window dressing in service of achieving those two goals or falsehoods.
 
2021-01-25 12:46:00 PM  
Get rich off the liberals. Send me $5 and the day that Trump will be recognized as the true President. When Trump returns to the presidency I'll pay you a share of the pool plus interest. The great thing is if the deep state blocks your date you can just send me another $5 and take the next sure thing date. December 14, January 6, January 20, March 4
 
2021-01-25 12:47:08 PM  

xanadian: koder: Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.

Yeah once we get to day 7, it's safe to say 'e's restin'.  Maybe even pinin' for the fjords.


I think the real question is, what happens to you if the Senate convicts Trump? I don't know if that counts or not for your promise.

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2021-01-25 12:48:25 PM  

AdrienVeidt: Martian_Astronomer: ...so, what I'm hearing is that in 100 years a bunch of QAnoners are going to take over most of western civilization and destroy all documentation that says Trump lost the 2020 election, which is basically the same thing as him winning it.

Fark all hell if I'm eating Trump wafers and wine to save *anybody's* soul.  I'll burn first, dammit.


I think his supper will be slightly different.

"For I received from the Donald what I also passed on to you: The Donald Trump, on the night he was betrayed by RINO Mike Pence, took KFC, and broke it and said, 'This is my body, the most healthy body ever, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.' In the same way, after supper he took the can of Diet Coke, saying, 'This coke is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me.' For whenever you eat this chicken and drink this coke, you proclaim Trump's landslide victory in the election the Democrats tried to steal until he is inaugurated."
 
2021-01-25 12:48:57 PM  
Look, we have lots of proofs that the Biden administration is fake, meaning that Trump is still in charge or the military is in control and Trump will rise again on March 4.

Proof 1: This webcam picture showing very different-looking skies at 12:02pm* from the skies seen in videos of the "inauguration":

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Proof 2: Biden took his hand off of the Bible before completing his oath of office. As the law requires that the President's hand stay on the Bible throughout, his oath is invalid.


Proof 3: Biden used a Satanic Masonic Illuminati Bible for his swearing in, as is evident by the upside-down crosses. The Constitution mandates a Christian Bible, so Biden's oath is invalid.


Proof 4: Kamala Harris took the oath before Biden. The Vice-President cannot take the oath before the President, doing so is Unconstitutional.


Proof 5: Biden was sworn it a 11:48am and not exactly noon. This is also Unconstitutional.


Proof 6: Kamala Harris had her purse over the Bible when taking the oath meaning that she was not actually touching the Bible as the law requires.


Proof 7: Jill Biden is seen wearing blue shoes during the inauguration ceremony, but later in the day she is seen wearing tan shoes. This obviously proves that the entire event was staged because a woman could not possibly ever change her shoes during the day.


Add up all of these proofs together, which are at least as good as the proofs that the election was stolen from Trump, and you can easily see why people who have taken the red pill are confident that Trump will be returning to office very soon.


*I admit that I am not the most observant, so I needed a bit of time before I finally figured out the problem with citing that webcam picture as proof. I initially considered that either the timestamp is fake or the contrast was tweaked. After noticing an important detail, though, I realized that the picture and timestamp are probably both real but they do not prove that the inauguration was faked. Can you spot the detail that conspiracy theorists apparently missed?
 
2021-01-25 12:49:05 PM  

NikolaiFarkoff: Actually it was about a day and a half. Around 6pm Friday until roughly dawn on Sunday.


To be fair, there have been times when I have accomplished a LOT during that exact timeframe and it felt like 3 days.


Actually the bible is all a load of malarkey and it never happened.
 
2021-01-25 12:49:36 PM  
"Jesus was dead for three days before he was resurrected. Never lose hope"

That should certainly work for the evangelicals, a reminder that they once were a fringe of some recognized religion.

Nostalgia and sentimentality are two major ingredients of a super spreader mob that has lost its collective mind and is engaging in epic risky behavior.
 
2021-01-25 12:49:37 PM  
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2021-01-25 12:49:46 PM  
if you get back up and leave after 3 days, was it really a sacrifice?
 
2021-01-25 12:51:43 PM  

xanadian: koder: Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.

Yeah once we get to day 7, it's safe to say 'e's restin'.  Maybe even pinin' for the fjords.


Beautiful plumage.
 
2021-01-25 12:52:10 PM  

koder: Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.


Forty days frequently pops up as well.
 
2021-01-25 12:52:16 PM  
so a zombie?
 
2021-01-25 12:52:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-25 12:53:46 PM  
Seems to me that Trump can't reach his final form until he is sacrificed by the very people he has come to save.
Q - you know what to do.
 
2021-01-25 12:54:59 PM  

EL EM: koder: Well we're up to 6 days, and the "corpse" is still rotting away in Florida. When it doesn't happen within a week with god, it's not happening.

Forty days frequently pops up as well.


Also 7x7 years, then a year of parties.  If I didn't hear about this messiah stand in for the next 49 years, it would be very nice, except for growing very old toward the end.
 
2021-01-25 12:55:27 PM  
 
2021-01-25 12:55:57 PM  

TimeCubeFan: So, a Joanie Loves Chachi spinoff then?


I hear Scott Baio is available, between shifts at Subway.
 
2021-01-25 12:56:44 PM  
The Q folks have never been "all there", but how *so* many people could be so invested in what is essentially "National Enquirer" fiction is astonishing to me.

To have such a tenuous grasp on reality that it seems more plausible that every member of the police, military, secret service, legislature...etc. would be "in on" whatever scheme they imagine kept Trump from getting re-elected, than that he simply had fewer votes than Biden, is mind-boggling. I mean, this literally happens every 2 years: one person loses and the other wins, because he got more votes. Except this time, it's a satanic, child harvesting cabal of rich liberals behind it.

Geez, people, get off your couches and out of your basements and go out and get some fresh air!
 
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