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(AP News)   "Satanist cannot touch Bible" is the new Qspiracy   (apnews.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Supreme Court of the United States, Thurgood Marshall, top of the Bible, President of the United States, Vice President Kamala Harris, Photos of the swearing, Associated Press, Bible  
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7106 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Jan 2021 at 4:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



194 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2021-01-24 10:51:34 PM  
Christ, you farking losers
 
2021-01-25 1:36:13 AM  
It doesn't kill them, they just can't hold it right side up during photo ops
 
2021-01-25 4:51:00 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Kamala Two Bibles.
 
2021-01-25 4:51:49 AM  
Oh my dog, they are going full satanic scare of the '90's all over again.
 
2021-01-25 4:55:04 AM  
Of course Satanists can read the Bible.

How do you think they become Satanists?
 
2021-01-25 4:55:30 AM  
And this is one of the nicer things they're saying about her. You really don't want to see the nasty shiat.
 
2021-01-25 4:55:52 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: It doesn't kill them, they just can't hold it right side up during photo ops


How dare you insult satanists like that.  They value knowledge and competence.
 
2021-01-25 5:01:22 AM  
What happens if a Satanist touches a bible?  Does the bible burst into flames or melt or something?
 
2021-01-25 5:02:03 AM  

Snapper Carr: Of course Satanists can read the Bible.

How do you think they become Satanists?


They get mad that their mom's boyfriend hogged the remote to watch the Beatles Anthology.

We know, fellas. Scott's not the boss of you.
 
2021-01-25 5:03:08 AM  

Bugerz: Oh my dog, they are going full satanic scare of the '90's all over again.


It never went away. It just evolved into Pizzagate and shiat.
 
2021-01-25 5:03:36 AM  
Qberts think sh*t is a delicious dessert too.
 
2021-01-25 5:05:32 AM  

MattytheMouse: Bugerz: Oh my dog, they are going full satanic scare of the '90's all over again.

It never went away. It just evolved into Pizzagate and shiat.


Pizzagate and the giant cabal of child-rapers was one aspect of the satanic scare. They're now filling in the rest.
 
2021-01-25 5:12:34 AM  
....(Jesusfacepalm.jpg)
 
2021-01-25 5:16:22 AM  
where do people even find the time to come up with that crap...jeez
 
2021-01-25 5:22:52 AM  

Ashcroftx360: where do people even find the time to come up with that crap...jeez


they are the lazy unemployed?
 
2021-01-25 5:27:58 AM  

Gordon Bennett: [Fark user image image 800x533]

Kamala Two Bibles.


That's not a real hand.

/ just as stupid
 
2021-01-25 5:28:24 AM  
SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT
 
2021-01-25 5:29:42 AM  

Bugerz: Oh my dog, they are going full satanic scare of the '90's all over again.


That actually started during the 80's.
 
2021-01-25 5:30:57 AM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: Christ, you farking losers


Qunts
 
2021-01-25 5:31:46 AM  
when all you have is a racism, everything looks like a nail.
 
2021-01-25 5:32:46 AM  
Well, apparently the oath suddenly means something again.
 
2021-01-25 5:33:33 AM  
Doesn't the whole bible swearing go against the secular state thing?
 
2021-01-25 5:34:06 AM  

Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT


"I swear on a stack of Bibles!" is an actual saying where I grew up.
 
2021-01-25 5:35:22 AM  
I'm starting to think it's a game of "what's the stupidest thing I can make up that people will still believe?"
 
2021-01-25 5:35:29 AM  
1.  Swearing in to a government service position using a bible is a dumb holdover from days where everyone was supposed to be god fearing.
2.  The assholes that are complaining about this kind of thing are full of shiat as always, and not just because they're completely factually wrong in this case.  They did not give a damn about the prior White House occupant being completely derelict in upholding the oath he swore to, as well as his entire life's actions being antithetical to the contents of whatever bible he swore upon.
 
2021-01-25 5:35:33 AM  

NoGods: Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT

"I swear on a stack of Bibles!" is an actual saying where I grew up.


As long as the stack is composed of an odd number of bibbles, you're good.
 
2021-01-25 5:35:43 AM  

Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT


Only true if they are placed with their titles or backs facing each other, so that their Higgs fields cancel out.
 
2021-01-25 5:36:01 AM  
I am a Satinist because I was seduced. Satin is silky smooth in its seduction. Satin will let you lie comfortably. Wrap yourself in Satin's embrace and become one with darkness!

//you can't read in the dark, so what do I need a book for?
 
2021-01-25 5:38:20 AM  
I've been a card-carrying atheist for 60+ years, and here in the Excessively Deep South that's worse than being  a Satanist. And I hereby invite any passing Qanon fantasist to come in and watch me throw a Bible across the room and out the window. Hard.
 
2021-01-25 5:38:28 AM  
I assume if a socialist touches a copy of the constitution, same deal?
 
2021-01-25 5:40:36 AM  
Rather than not publishing the misinformation to begin with, they waste time debunking it.    Something about a broken window fallacy
 
2021-01-25 5:40:46 AM  
Magical thinking morons...This planet needs an enema to get rid of these doofus people and
free the rest of us to move forward in the world of reality and science..

Yes, that would include Uncle Joe too if he really buys all the crap he appears too...
 
2021-01-25 5:43:11 AM  
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like those of horses." Ezekiel 23:20.

See? The bible is truth! Yay God!! \o/
 
2021-01-25 5:43:12 AM  
Lol that's awesome. I never thought I'd actually see someone swear on a stack of Bibles!

/YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME
/I SWEAR ON A STACK OF BIBLES IM NOT LYING
 
2021-01-25 5:45:07 AM  

mksmith: I've been a card-carrying atheist for 60+ years, and here in the Excessively Deep South that's worse than being  a Satanist. And I hereby invite any passing Qanon fantasist to come in and watch me throw a Bible across the room and out the window. Hard.


You shouldn't throw bibles. Pirates carve hidden guns into them. Check first.
 
2021-01-25 5:50:22 AM  

mksmith: I've been a card-carrying atheist for 60+ years, and here in the Excessively Deep South that's worse than being  a Satanist. And I hereby invite any passing Qanon fantasist to come in and watch me throw a Bible across the room and out the window. Hard.


Say what you will about the tenets of Santanism, but at least its an ethos!
 
2021-01-25 5:50:33 AM  
I've been loving Reuters Fact Check. Fact check places are great for keeping up on what loons are believing.
https://www.reuters.com/fact-check

A great one from yesterday:
Fact check: Military band did not play 'Hit the Road Jack' outside the White House during Trump's final hours as president

Perhaps my fave:
Fact check: A chihuahua is not a large rodent
 
2021-01-25 5:50:49 AM  
So if one were to rub their dick on a bible it would prove they are not a Satanist.
 
2021-01-25 5:51:50 AM  

Kittypie070: Ashcroftx360: where do people even find the time to come up with that crap...jeez

they are the lazy unemployed?


It seems far more likely that the people who groom these ideas, and plant them into the empty skulls of the Qult members, are paid to do it.

An ARG the size of Qanon doesn't work without full-time staff to keep it going.
 
2021-01-25 5:52:02 AM  

Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT


oh god this will be the next phase. I'd bet money on it.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-25 5:52:56 AM  

NoGods: Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT

"I swear on a stack of Bibles!" is an actual saying where I grew up.


me too, but apparently it has to be an odd number of Bibles.
 
2021-01-25 5:53:51 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Magical thinking morons...This planet needs an enema to get rid of these doofus people and
free the rest of us to move forward in the world of reality and science..

Yes, that would include Uncle Joe too if he really buys all the crap he appears too...


Who knows...

I've always been convinced that Obama is far too intelligent to believe any of that woo, but the human capacity for compartmentilsing their minds is frightening.
 
2021-01-25 5:54:05 AM  

emtwo: NoGods: Old Man Winter: SWEARING ON TWO BIBLE NEGATES THE OATH THEY CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT

"I swear on a stack of Bibles!" is an actual saying where I grew up.

As long as the stack is composed of an odd number of bibbles, you're good.


well frick. *shakes an odd number of tiny fists*
 
2021-01-25 5:55:18 AM  

Bugerz: Oh my dog, they are going full satanic scare of the '90's all over again.


Why, I bet they even play 5th dimensional AD&D instead of Chess.
 
2021-01-25 5:57:38 AM  
And since Obama was a Muslim, the oath didn't count.
 
2021-01-25 5:58:25 AM  

mksmith: I've been a card-carrying atheist for 60+ years, and here in the Excessively Deep South that's worse than being  a Satanist. And I hereby invite any passing Qanon fantasist to come in and watch me throw a Bible across the room and out the window. Hard.


not that I'd ever run for public office, but what would atheists such as ourselves swear on? the Constitution maybe? Darwin's "On the Origin of Species"? Sagan's "Cosmos"? a book of cat memes?
 
2021-01-25 6:02:51 AM  
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2021-01-25 6:03:10 AM  
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2021-01-25 6:06:21 AM  
JFC, the US is hopelessly farked. I mean, we can slow the decline, but shizz like this comes up and makes me realize we can never stop it...
 
2021-01-25 6:06:40 AM  

Gordon Bennett: [Fark user image image 800x533]

Kamala Two Bibles.


The bottom one is Alister Crowley's copy of Fifty Shades of Child Sacrifice.
 
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