Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Harpers Bazaar)   "Honesty and transparency are everything"   (harpersbazaar.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Emotion, English-language films, Human sexual behavior, Big Little Lies actress, Shailene Woodley, bad sex, 29-year-old spoke, upcoming legal thriller  
•       •       •

7055 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2021 at 8:00 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



56 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-01-24 8:04:01 AM  
...and nookie.
 
2021-01-24 8:04:09 AM  
I last 20, 30 seconds tops. But I don't like to brag
 
2021-01-24 8:06:35 AM  
I'd happily disappoint her
 
2021-01-24 8:06:49 AM  

Maturin: I last 20, 30 seconds tops. But I don't like to brag


Damm boy. You a marathon man
 
2021-01-24 8:09:37 AM  
Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."
 
2021-01-24 8:10:08 AM  

Maturin: I last 20, 30 seconds tops. But I don't like to brag


In a row???
 
2021-01-24 8:11:22 AM  
I thought it was perversity and intensity.
 
2021-01-24 8:15:51 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


That would be incorrect.
 
2021-01-24 8:16:08 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


"Despite being transparent, he wasn't honest!" *sob*
 
2021-01-24 8:16:26 AM  
I thought it was the delicate balance between lubrication and friction.
 
2021-01-24 8:19:10 AM  
"I have been here. And to be quite honest, it has happened more than once in my life."

Maybe it's you?
 
2021-01-24 8:19:52 AM  
I can only assume the author has never been in an actual relationship.
 
2021-01-24 8:21:27 AM  

MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.


Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".
 
2021-01-24 8:22:05 AM  

Snarfangel: [Fark user image image 850x637]

"Despite being transparent, he wasn't honest!" *sob*


Yikes, I guess ghosts can't be too picky,
 
2021-01-24 8:33:54 AM  
Thought for sure this was gonna be another political thinkpiece.

/the tag even fit!
 
2021-01-24 8:36:09 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


There's that saying, "Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." These people apparently haven't had some of the sex/pizza I've had.
 
2021-01-24 8:36:52 AM  

aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".


Yeah, she hates that.
 
2021-01-24 8:39:01 AM  

Herr Morgenstern: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

There's that saying, "Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." These people apparently haven't had some of the sex/pizza I've had.


memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2021-01-24 8:39:30 AM  

Herr Morgenstern: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

There's that saying, "Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." These people apparently haven't had some of the sex/pizza I've had.


I can't stand pineapple on my pizza OR my lovers.
 
2021-01-24 8:41:50 AM  

H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.


She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."
 
2021-01-24 8:45:02 AM  
sometimes a guy just needs to look elsewhere

Fark user imageView Full Size


/like under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
 
2021-01-24 8:48:00 AM  
Tangential but...this is an article...about an article in another publication.  Every now and then I see something like this and feel like we're approaching human centipede levels of digesting crap.
 
2021-01-24 9:02:33 AM  

TheDirtyNacho: Herr Morgenstern: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

There's that saying, "Sex is like pizza; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." These people apparently haven't had some of the sex/pizza I've had.

I can't stand pineapple on my pizza OR my lovers.


My favorite is something thin enough to bend in half, a little saucy, and baked just enough.
 
2021-01-24 9:04:07 AM  
I never farked a 10, but one night I farked five twos.

Fark user imageView Full Size



/miss you carlin
 
2021-01-24 9:08:07 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


I've bought clothing there before. Good quality for the price.

/ would buy again.
 
2021-01-24 9:11:32 AM  
Doesn't she eat clay?
 
2021-01-24 9:12:46 AM  
Cannabis promotes deep thought and keeps folks sane, rich people try to keep it illegal for that exact reason
 
2021-01-24 9:15:12 AM  

aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".


Welllll, from a certain point of view.....

aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-24 9:44:25 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


"You know the expression there's no such thing as bad sex or bad pizza? Your (Chicago) pizza is like sex with a corpse made of sandpaper!"

-Jon Stewart
 
2021-01-24 9:46:06 AM  

aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".


The ex was riding cowgirl, went up too high, and came down on the wrong hole. Shot back off like a coiled spring, she did.
 
2021-01-24 10:01:39 AM  
"Transparency", eh? You mean this kind of transparency?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-01-24 10:12:56 AM  
A woman writes about how she loves sex?

Why is Bazaar reprinting reddit fan fiction?
 
2021-01-24 10:29:27 AM  

MattyBlast: "Transparency", eh? You mean this kind of transparency?

[Fark user image 569x888]


is that Melania?
 
2021-01-24 10:34:50 AM  

aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."


Just watch out the next time you're getting head.
 
2021-01-24 10:38:15 AM  

watching the trump bubble grow: Cannabis promotes deep thought and keeps folks sane, rich people try to keep it illegal for that exact reason


Look, I a big advocate and all, but pump the brakes there. It can help manage anxiety, but it can actually trigger earlier onset of mental illness in people who are predisposed.

Also, it only promotes deep thinking if you're able to think deeply anyway. If you're a dumbass, it just makes you a bigger dumbass.
 
2021-01-24 10:39:10 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


No wonder they're going out of business, there's only so far a retail clothing store can go before zany ads become creepy.
 
2021-01-24 10:39:30 AM  
Natalie Portmanteau:

*I'm. Come on thumbs, work!
 
2021-01-24 10:43:48 AM  

watching the trump bubble grow: Cannabis promotes deep thought and keeps folks sane, rich people try to keep it illegal for that exact reason


Ummmm, I would appear you are proving the opposite of your point.
 
2021-01-24 10:44:21 AM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


Why would a clothing store have a saying like that
 
2021-01-24 10:45:36 AM  
Sex is like oxygen - you don't realize how important it is until you're not getting any.
 
2021-01-24 10:45:45 AM  

Natalie Portmanteau: aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."

Just watch out the next time you're getting head.


He's married, so no worries on that score
 
2021-01-24 10:46:05 AM  

Maturin: I last 20, 30 seconds tops. But I don't like to brag


So, longer than this "article"?
 
2021-01-24 10:52:42 AM  
She told me she needed 8 inches and make her scream..... so I farked her twice & wiped it on the curtains
 
2021-01-24 11:50:06 AM  
Five bucks says her next boyfriend is a cementhead with the body of Chris Hemsworth, the libido of Pope Francis, and the mind of Phil Spector.
 
2021-01-24 12:15:36 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."

Just watch out the next time you're getting head.


Because she might miss and cram it up her nose?
 
2021-01-24 12:25:13 PM  
Everybody talks with their friends about sex, but they're embarrassed to talk to their partner about it.  Tell us you want because, in the words of the late Sam Kinison:  "we're the ones who f*ck you"

/not everybody
//lick the alphabet doesn't really work
///three
 
2021-01-24 1:05:29 PM  

Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."


I think that was Brock Turner's philosophy too.
 
2021-01-24 1:06:26 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."

Just watch out the next time you're getting head.


Nasal head?

I haven't seen THAT on Urban Dictionary yet!
 
2021-01-24 1:21:03 PM  
I don't know what it is, but there is just something off putting about her. Im not pulling a "Sharp Knees" here I was just curious if anyone thought the same thing,
 
2021-01-24 1:53:39 PM  

LOLITROLU: Natalie Portmanteau: aagrajag: H31N0US: aagrajag: MechaPyx: Lurk Who's Talking: Old Navy saying: "There's good sex & there's better sex, but there ain't no bad sex."

That would be incorrect.

Yeah.

Like that time I was banging my wife from behind, and on the very last, hardest thrust, I accidentally slipped out of the usual orifice and surprise-buttsecksed her.

That was definitely not "good sex".

Yeah, she hates that.

She does.

She shot off like a coiled spring and buried her head in the pillow. It took me a moment before I realised what had happened, and said: "Oh, shiat, you know I didn't do that on purpose, right?"

She grunted back, through clenched teeth: "Yeah... I know... just... gimme a minute...."

Just watch out the next time you're getting head.

Because she might miss and cram it up her nose?


No, I had a buddy who accidentally poked his girl in the butt during sex, so the next time she was blowing him, she said "oops!" And stuck her thumb in his butt
 
Displayed 50 of 56 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.